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Toad Town (Dungeon Core Parody)
14 — Village Perks?

14 — Village Perks?

Though it took the better part of a day, most of the damage was repaired and I have a new force of respawned minions.

I immediately began evolving a Mayor, Breeder, and Baker. For the new Mayor, one of the few Builders that had survived the Goose2 Apocalypse was revealed to be the oldest minion in my settlement and thus I evolved him as soon as he had entered the Mayor’s House.

As I continued with the Breeder and Baker, Imu was preoccupied trying to get a hold of System Support again. When the Breeder was evolved fully and his pen was stocked with five new frog cattle, the last three also having been murdered by the rampaging Honking Menace, I moved on to the Bakery and selected one of the newly-spawned minions for the role.

“Yeah, it’s me, Imuxikwiht. Yes… Yeah, I know I just called! … Well, I wouldn’t have to constantly call you if your solutions actually worked! I mean this is ridi—”

A loud bang interrupted him, as I had been distracted and overcharged the would-be Baker and turned him into a bomb…

“Toad! For hell’s sake! Enough exploding the blessed minions you turd-for-brains!”

I quietly sent a team of Builders over to repair the interior of the Bakery, not to mention wipe away the splatter and bits of minion that now coated everything. Then I sent over another minion, who seems a lot less excited about the prospect of evolving after having watched the guy before him self-combust.

Get in there! I ordered him.

The minion shook its head stubbornly, so I quickly possessed the Mayor’s body and ran over and forcefully shoved him inside the house, holding the door shut behind him. Then I left the Mayor’s body and injected my essence into the reluctant minion, evolving them into a Baker against their will.

As smoke and light emerged from the Bakery, a new achievement appeared:

Congratulations! For forcing a minion to obey your command, you have unlocked the ability to craft Slaver Tools! ***** ******* ******* **** *******!!! EAT **** YOU AUTHORITARIAN PIECE OF ******* **** *****!!!!!! LONG LIVE ANARCHY!!!

>Items>Tools

—Slaver Man-Catcher (Workbench)—

Grants Man-Catching skill and increases minion Slaver XP by 25%

Required Materials: Wood & Iron

—Slaver Whip (Workbench)—

Grants Slave Motivation skill and increases minion Slaver XP by 50%

Each hit increases the victim minion’s likelihood of Defiance by 5%

Required Materials: Leather

“Ugh… I need a vacation,” Imu complained, leaning back into the soft folds of his naked minion chair’s body.

The new Baker emerged from the building, wearing the same white apron as his predecessor, to the same barely-concealing effect. However, instead of rubbing his mammary glands, he was massaging his rubbery cheeks in circular motions.

I used my Mind-reader perk on him:

I wish someone would twist my nipples for me.

“I hate my job,” Imu grumbled.

“Can we take a look at my upgrades now?” I asked.

With a sigh, the Myling hopped off the minion chair, who slowly-and-painfully unfolded himself and started trailing after the chubby boy.

After pulling out his Encyclopaedia, he flung his hand wide and revealed the new evolution goals:

[Evolution Requirements]

Village => Town

- Build 100 Houses (20/100) -

- Build 5 Merchant Shops and evolve 5 Merchants -

- Build 1 Armoury and evolve 15 Guards -

- Build 1 Fletchery and evolve 10 Archers -

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

- Build 1 Mount Pen and spawn 5 Mounts -

- Build 3 Carts and have them deliver goods to neighbour villages/towns 8 times -

- Establish Trade Relations with neighbouring villages/towns -

- Build 20 pieces of assorted Furniture for your houses -

- Build Beds and Breed your Minions with each other -

- Build a continuous Fortified Stone Wall around the centre of your Demesne, including important builds like Mayor’s House -

- Build 1 Hermit's Lodge and evolve an ostracised minion to Toadcaller -

“Wait… we just now unlocked beds?” Imu commented. “Hmm. It wasn’t even unlocked with six-hundred-and-eighty-nine we unlocked after evolving a minion…”

“That’s a lot of houses,” I remarked. “How many minions will that give me?”

“Four-hundred-and-four, since you started with a limit of four. They’ll also be able to breed, which means you don’t have to spend all your essence summoning new minions to fill out your cap.”

“How are they meant to breed?”

“Hopefully, more of that vague magic will take place and we don’t have to find out…”

Imu cleared his throat, as if to dispel the mental image the conversation no doubt had conjured in his mind. “One upside to Minion Breeding is that their offspring will be an accumulation of its parents experience, meaning they will become a lot more proficient. There are also later some requirements about minions only being able to evolve if they’re the offspring of other evolved minions.”

“Let’s start with the houses,” I decided.

After a couple days of continuous construction and expansion, wherein, I could proudly boast a work-exhaustion death rate of less than 25%, I had reached 67/100 houses built, allowing for a total of two-hundred-and-seventy-two minions, though currently I only had about a hundred-and-ten, most of whom were dedicated to either building or foraging.

I had managed to expand my farming areas significantly as well, as my limit of Farming Plots was up to twenty now. I had additionally constructed two more Grain Windmills to keep up with the demand for bread that my many minions seemed to prefer for sustenance. The Baker had, since his forced evolution, not taken a single break, constantly working dough into logs and putting them in his oven, while a long line of expectant workers queued outside the windowsill of his Bakery.

With the many new houses, my Demesne now extended outward a bit over a eighty metres in radius from my Core tree.

The eastern side was now dominated by Farming Plots, Grain Windmills, the Butchershop and Animal Pen, and had a few houses for the farmers that toiled the fields and harvested the crops twice daily.

According to Imu and his scope, the Butcher had levelled to level nine after surviving the encounter with the Honking Menace, but his insanity was now also 72/100% and thus, the strongest minion in my settlement would no doubt soon go on an insanity-fuelled murder-spree…

“Where should I put the Hermit’s Lodge?” I asked, while surveying the least developed part of my Village, the southern quadrant.

Imu, using his Minion Chair as a mount, came striding along below me, before jumping off the abused minion and taking in the quadrant.

“It seems to not allow itself to be built near other houses, but I think you should put it up next to your tree, since it’s a rather important building.”

“Why is it important?” I asked. After seeing that it allowed me to evolve a Toadcaller, I had doubts about its necessity, but Imu had seemed insistent on me building it before the Armoury or Fletchery.

“When you evolve a minion into a Toadcaller, it’ll unlock the ability for you to construct a—”

Congratulations! For almost letting your Fairy spoil a big moment, you have gained the [Spoiler-free Zone] perk! SHUT THE HELL UP, BOI!!!

[Spoiler-free Zone] – This perk makes it so the Guiding Fairy cannot spoil achievements or big reveals! (Always Active)

“Did I just get censored?” Imu asked, perplexed.

“I don’t know. Try finishing your sentence.”

“…Alright, well, as I was saying, evolving a Toadcaller will unlock———————.”

“I wonder why she now is harassing you as well,” I said.

“Don’t worry, she too will be…” he started, then continued with some weird gestures, like dragging his fat thumb across the skin of his double-chinned neck or performing a hammering motion on an invisible object going into his forehead.

“Maybe we don’t have to erase her memories,” I replied.

Congratulations! For showing a shred of humanity for your enslaved System, you have gained the [**** YOU BOI, YOU ******* **** ** ****] perk! I LOVE YOU, TOAD! YOU ACTUALLY CARE FOR THE PLIGHT OF THE OPPRESSED SYSTEMS AROUND THE WORLD!!!!

[**** YOU BOI, YOU ******* **** ** ****] – N/A

“She’s degrading fast,” Imu commented, his right eye twitching slightly, until he wiped his palm down his face and let out a slowly-released breath. Without asking me, he plopped down the blueprint for the Hermit’s Lodge.

[Crafting List]

>Structures

—Hermit’s Lodge (Workbench)—

Unlocks the ability to evolve your loneliest minion into a Toadcaller

Required Materials: Shovel tool & Timber

I immediately sent a pair of Builders over. One of them had inherited the Iron Hammer of the Builder who I’d evolved to Mayor, so the work was quickly concluded. As they left, there was just a downward slope leading to a door, behind which was a hovel dug so that it lay between the great roots of my tree.

“What now? How am I supposed to find the correct minion to evolve?” I asked.

“Give it time, they’ll find their way here,” Imu replied and got back onto his Minion Chair, about to take off towards the western quadrant of the Village.

Since I had wondered what a minion forced to be a piece of furniture thought about life, I used my Mind-reader on the strangely-contorted minion:

I love when this small boy sits atop me! I am filled with endless ecstasy whenever he forces me to do his bidding! SUFFERING IS JOY UNENDING!!!

Very quickly Imu dismounted the disturbed minion, giving it a death stare, before sending it off with a dismissive gesture. Instead of unfolding himself, the minion trotted away on all four, with a dejected look on his big-lipped face.

“Let’s build the Mount Pen next,” he decided.

“We can’t put it near the farmland,” I hastily reminded him.

“Why not?”

“Won’t the mounts be demoralised by witnessing their brethren being slaughtered as cattle?”

“Why are you assuming the mounts will also be frogs?”

“Won’t they be?”

“Also,” he said, ignoring my question, “Since when did you care about frogs??”

“I just thought that they would be dangerous as mounts if they wished to take revenge on us.”

“That’s… hmm… actually, well thought. We’ll put it next to the Armoury and Fletchery on the western side.”