All three of my carts were packed with an assortment of harvested produce, processed wheat, and bits of wrought iron. At the fore of each cart was a toad mount affixed to the shaft, with a minion driver sitting on the narrow seat and wielding the reins. On either side of the driver sat a Guard in Frog-Hide armour. I almost felt bad for the lone frog-hide Guard who remained in the settlement with the eight non-frog-hided Guards, but when I read his thoughts I realised it was something else:
Farewell my twins. Pray we meet in the minion afterlife when the greedy Goose² sinks its beaks into your flesh.
“Do my minions have an afterlife?” I asked Imu. The thought had never occurred to me, but I supposed that if they died in their hundreds on a weekly basis, then believing they had an afterlife might make them less likely to take their existential dread out on me…
“No. Minions’ souls are like cardboard or plastic: they are recycled upon the termination of their original use, but their souls always come out wonky. Usually, they have no knowledge of the horrific abuse and torment of their past jobs, but sometimes the Minion Soul Recycle Stations get lazy and a bunch of recycled minions manifest with PTSD and Oppositional Defiant Disorder.”
“Are any of my minions recycled?” I asked, despite not fully following his explanation.
“Oh most definitely all of them. I’m willing to bet that a quirky outlier Core like yours gets the worst-of-the-worst when it comes to minion souls. Why do you think they’re all absolutely out of their minds? Only privileged Cores, like those of Lady Light, get fresh from the Tree of Life’s branches minion souls. Deathheim on the other hand is big on saving the spiritual environment, so he opts for the scrappy souls none of the other Gods want. But, in his case, it works out fine, given that all his minions tend to be far removed from anything smelling of humanity and things like joy and aspirations.”
“So the problems with my minions is not my fault then?”
“Don’t try to sneak your way out of responsibility, Toady. He who blames his servants for following their given orders is a massive asshole, as the ancient saying goes.”
“Oh.”
“But… and I’m being generous here: you’ve been dealt a fucky System and a bizarre set of circumstances, so even newly-minted minions would’ve gone insane, just not, you know, this level of insane…”
As the carts laden with trade goods were prepared to finally travel out of my settlement, Imu suggested I move my Guards up to the fringes of my demesne and set my ten Archers on the halfway-built stone wall at the heart of my Village, such that they could distract the Honking Menace when it no doubt showed itself.
However, when the three carts bounced their way out of my settlement, tossing their cargo into the air with every leap of the mounts at the front of the carts, no great Menace came to visit and wreak havoc.
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“I have to say, a toad as a draft mount is perhaps the dumbest thing I could imagine.”
“The riders are staying in their seats at least,” I replied.
“For now. I mean, how can we even be sure half the goods make it to their destination when they keep flying around every time it moves??”
“Have a little faith.”
“You telling me that does not instil me with any sort of confidence.”
For the next two days, as we awaited the return of our trade carts, I continued building the houses we needed to reach 100 in total, and work on the fortified stone wall proceeded smoothly as well, thanks to the quarry.
It seemed that our reforestation efforts were paying off as well, as the replanted tree seeds regrew within half a day, so that, for now, we used about the same amount of wood as the trees we regrew, leading to an equilibrium.
I also built the first of the five Merchant Shops I needed in the eastern quadrant, and evolved one of my countless unassigned minions to become a Merchant.
“He looks fairly normal,” Imu said, surprised.
“Why is purple hair growing from his ears like that?”
“…I have no idea, but let’s just overlook it for now.”
With my demesne now having reached the largest it could get for my current evolution, I realised excitedly that a small area at the north-eastern part of my settlement overlapped my childhood pond.
After possessing my Mayor and hopping over to it, however, I learnt just how small it was compared to a whomen, or, well, sub-whomen.
Builders! Erect a fence around this here pond!
Guards! Protect the younglings in these murky waters with your life!
“What in Hell’s name are you doing?”
“Protecting the future of my species!”
“They’re not your species anymore,” Imu replied coldheartedly. “You’re not a toad anymore.”
“But I am Toad, now and forever!”
“You’re wasting resources on something moronic.”
“My settlement, my rules!”
Imu let out a sigh. Moments later System came running and started hopping around the pond on all four of her legs, while repeating: “Tadpoles! Tadpoles! Tadpoles! Tadpoles! Tadpoles! Tadpoles!”
[Evolution Requirements]
Village => Town
- Build 5 Merchant Shops and evolve 5 Merchants -
- Build 3 Carts and have them deliver goods to neighbour villages/towns 8 times (3/8) -
“We’re so close!” I announced.
“Since we’re limited to three carts, getting those last deliveries will take probably three or four more days. For now though, let’s see what stuff we have gotten in return for our goods.”
“They look pretty empty,” I commented upon seeing the three carts, but then a notification appeared:
Congratulations! For obtaining your first form of currency, you unlocked the ability to construct a Coin Minting Bank!
[Crafting List]
>Structures>Crafting
—Coin Minting Bank (Mayor’s House & Hermit’s Lodge)—
Unlocks the ability to evolve your greediest minion into a Banker and allows for the minting of coins using precious metals
Required Materials: Stone, Timber, & Wrought Metal