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Toad Town (Dungeon Core Parody)
25 — The First Guild Quest?

25 — The First Guild Quest?

We were close to three-hundred minions in total when some strange whomens entered my town. The reconstruction of the ruined parts of my settlement was largely completed and I once again had Guards and Archers, as well as five Adventurers whom Imu had named.

“What are those?”

“They look like Adventurers. Real ones, not the imitations you have.”

“Why do they look so…?”

“Normal? Handsome? Beautiful?”

“Those weren’t the words I’d have used.”

“They look that way because they’re normal non-inbred humans. I know the concept of an untainted gene pool may confuse and terrify you, but these are what humans usually look like. Granted, many Adventurers are very vain and take their skincare and makeup routines very seriously.”

“Look! One of them is entering the Guild Office!”

I quickly possessed the body of the Guild Master and exclaimed magnanimously: “Welcome to the Toad Town Adventurers’ Guild!”

The man, a tall chainmail-and-plate-armour wearing whomen, upon whose back hung a sword close to the same height as him. “Salutations, Guild Master of Toad Town.” He looked around the hall, where my five Adventurers currently lounged, having nothing to occupy themselves with. “Did you just recently open? I don’t see any quest fliers available.”

Imu, what’s a ‘quest’?

It’s basically a task you give to someone who isn’t your minion, in exchange for a reward.

How do I make a quest flier?

Just have your Guild Master sit by his desk and think of the task you have in mind, then it should appear on one of the boards in the room.

I hopped over to the Master’s desk and sat down, the Adventurer and his two companions staring at me. Then I moved my hand over the stack of papers on the desk in a vague noncommittal gesture and suddenly the top-most paper lifted from the stack and flew to a quest board on the other side of the Guild Office.

Immediately, the five minion Adventurers got up to look at it, but then they quickly shook their heads and sat back down again.

The tall man and his two companions walked over to look at the quest. His companions were: a White Elf woman who dressed similar to the terrifying Missionary and carried a wooden staff with a bell at the end; and a short dwarf woman who carried a strange sort of bow that looked very powerful.

I utilised my Appraisal to learn more about her weapon:

Name: Challi’s Crossbow

Occupation: Crossbow

Species: Crossbownicus Hitveryhardicas

Level: 21/100

Alignment: Tendency-to-kickback-with-recoil-but-otherwise-friendly

Faction: No-scope-endorsing Crossbows United

Can we build one of those bows?

Not yet, you have to be a Castle Town first. They’re strong but troublesome to use in a fight.

“Guild Master,” said the tall man. “We’ll take this quest.”

Quest: ‘Calamity Hydra-Goose’

Type: Extermination

This book was originally published on Royal Road. Check it out there for the real experience.

Required Adventurer Rank: Bronze

Reward: 10.000 Copper Toakens

Description: A Hydra-Goose has been harassing Toad Town for months. Locate its lair in or around the forest and slay it. Proof of successful kill required.

You’re sending them to their deaths… Imu commented. I mean, look at them!

Name: Harland

Occupation: Zweihander Vanguard (Bronze Rank Adventurer)

Species: Human

Level: 52/100

Alignment: Brave-and-reckless

Faction: Hekkenfelt Adventurers’ Guild (Royal Court of Cimbra)

Name: Challi

Occupation: Crossbow Ranger (Bronze Rank Adventurer)

Species: Black Mountain Dwarf

Level: 46/100

Alignment: Arrogant-and-cunning

Faction: Hekkenfelt Adventurers’ Guild (Royal Court of Cimbra)

Name: Cimbra Lightveil

Occupation: Divine Purger (Silver Rank Adventurer)

Species: White Elf

Level: 67/100

Alignment: Slightly-fanatical-and-very-self-centred

Faction: Hekkenfelt Adventurers’ Guild (Royal Court of Cimbra)

They seem pretty strong, I replied.

Even their levels combined are less than what the Goose3 had before it killed all our minions and ransacked the town…

With their flier in hand, the party of three left the Guild Office. As they crossed the threshold, an achievement appeared and shortly after System came running.

Congratulations! For creating your first Adventurers’ Guild quest and having one-or-more Adventurers accept it, you have gained the [I’ll Take That!] perk!

[I’ll Take That!] – Whenever an Adventurer on a quest you created dies, their items are moved into your Guild Office’s vault for distribution amongst other Adventurers or to be sold for a profit in your stores.

“Is the System encouraging us to get Adventurers killed?” Imu asked, having suddenly appeared from behind the Guild Master’s desk.

I did the best blink I could manage while possessing the Guild Master in response, then said, “Maybe that’s not such a bad thing?”

“I suppose I’ll look away so long as it’s Humans, Sub-Humans, and White Elves that get got.”

“Is there a way we can follow them?”

“Not technically,” Imu said, “But you can craft something using the Toadcaller and… erm… take a look:”

[Crafting List]

>Structures>Core Upgrades

—Scrying Pond (Hermit’s Lodge & Adventurers’ Guild Branch Office)—

Unlocks the ability for the Core to conjure the image of any Adventurers engaging in a quest they have created, even if it is outside their Demesne

Required Materials: Peeping Minion’s Soul, Eighteen Eyeballs, & 1 live toad

“We are not using an innocent toad for this!”

“Don’t you want to see how those three fare against the Honking Calamity?”

“We’re not killing the precious toad, are we??”

“From what I can tell, no.”

“Alright, fine, I’ll call the Toadcaller over.”

After about an hour, the Scrying Pond was finished.

The Toadcaller had brought his own live toad, a precious little murky-brown fella named Toad-Steve and I had found many willing donors to give me the eyeballs, before Imu had pointed out that there were already, bizarrely, more than fifty eyeballs in the storage of our barns. The Peeping Minion was rather easy to find too, since he had been hanging around outside the Bakery, licking his lips every time the Bakers moved around and their white aprons shifted to reveal the grisly bits underneath.

“I can’t believe what he did to that minion,” Imu remarked, visibly shaken.

“I’m more confused why the toad needed to eat all those eyeballs,” I replied.

“Have you noticed that your Toadcaller has reached max level by the way? I’m not even sure how he survived his one-on-one with the Goose3.”

I used my Appraisal, and sure enough, the Toadcaller was now the single strongest minion in my settlement.

Name: Toadcaller

Occupation: Toadcaller

Species: Whomanoid Minion

Level: 50/50

Alignment: Chaos Incarnate

Faction: Toad Town

“Can I evolve him again?”

Imu was about to reply, but then frowned. “I can’t tell you, thanks to the Spoiler-Free Zone perk in action…”

I hopped closer to the pond that sat in the middle of the Guild Office floor. Imu, the Toadcaller, and my five listless Adventurers all gathered around as well.

“Let’s have a look,” I said.