Dragon. It had to be the dragon. Surely, when the word dragon appeared, everyone would instantly think that's probably the best, most powerful choice. So, Huang Lu, in agreement with the possibly high heavenly spirits, chose the Marsh Dragon.
And he vanished, alone.
[This special secret realm admits only one. Only the one that carries the Royal Bloodline]
"Fuck." Huang Lu looked, he hoped to have Uncle Gui's 7th realm backup, but come on, Huang Lu's the main character, naturally he'd be given far more opportunities to shine even though there are more powerful individuals out there, as he plopped on a wet, marshy piece of land. He just changed into clean clothes, and now he's dirty and yucky and mucky again!
The sky was a shade of dark green, and the surroundings was dark, thick woods that cannot be passed. It's just some kind of cultivation-generated wallpaper to make the secret realm look a lot more creepy and cool.
"Alright, let's fucking do this." Huang Lu decided to take off his dirty, yucky shirt, rolled up his pants, and started walking in the knee-deep waters.
He didn't have to wait very long to get enemies coming his way, as strange swamp lizards appeared, and they attacked him. They looked like small wingless western dragons, which meant they were totally in the wrong setting.
Huang Lu flexed his muscles, and his veins on his muscles bulged. He used his punch and also pulled these swamp lizards towards him, and their belly smashed nicely against the knuckles. They died. Or more like, they splattered into Qi. These were Qi-summons, which, Huang Lu had never seen before, so he had totally no idea what they were. All he knew was that he had to punch them, and they would splatter. Absolutely ideal, actually.
Huang Lu kept walking, and followed the wet path through the swamps, and soon saw a bigger lizard. The lizard breathed some kind of greenish gas, and Huang Lu, thankfully, wasn't stupid enough to try his luck and decided to jump upwards, and landed right on the lizard's back.
The bigger lizard took more punches to put down, but it too, splattered like a popped balloon. That was probably not the best description.
"Where the hell am I?"
[Marsh Dragon's Lair]
"Fucking hell, I know."
[Then why did you ask?]
"I don't recall my cultivation method having a personality!"
[I have one whenever the fates decide I have one]
"Fuck that."
Maybe some day system-chan would anthropomorphize into a female that Huang Lu would one day be able to bonk, but that would be a very, very high power level. Maybe Chicken-tier power levels.
As Huang Lu continued, the marsh path soon expanded, and the narrow path slowly turned into this wide but shallow pool, with a large platform in the middle. There was a gigantic jade chinese dragon statue in the middle of that platform, with two dark red gems for eyes.
This novel's true home is a different platform. Support the author by finding it there.
"WHO DARES ENTER MY LAIR?!" The Statue spoke.
Huang Lu wondered whether he should answer.
"JUST ANSWER ME. I KNOW YOU ARE THERE!"
"Uh." Huang Lu wasn't even sure whether he should go full out combat mode or-
"I WANT A NAME." The statue spoke, the voice echoed in the entire area.
He decided to answer. "I am Huang Lu."
"GOOD NAME. THIS STATUE IS CHAOZELONG." The statue's red eyes glowed, and then, a table with two chairs appeared. "WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?"
"So I got this key that says I can unlock some magical treasures and rescue a lady in distress or something like that. So, do you mind telling me where they are?"
"TREASURES? LADIES?"
"Yeah."
"I DO NOT RECALL THERE BE TREASURES HERE. I HAVE A LOT OF JUNK. THIS PLACE IS A MARSH, DRAGONS DON'T KEEP THEIR TREASURES IN A MARSH."
Huang Lu wondered whether this was a prank, or the dragon was actually honest. "Oh."
"BUT NO MATTER, ALLOW ME TO REWARD YOU WITH A TREASURE. ARE YOU A TEA PERSON, OR A COFFEE PERSON?"
"What in the world is coffee?"
"THEN YOU MUST TRY IT. IT'S IMPORTED!"
Huang Lu decided, sure, why not. He sat on the chair like he owned it, and suddenly, a golden pot appeared, with two cups. The golden pot was hot. The pot started to whistle, and then, it poured out a black liquid.
"COFFEE. I BOUGHT IT FROM THE OTHER WORLDS."
Huang Lu decided that didn't make sense, but he lifted the cup, and started to sip. It was horribly bitter, and choked. He coughed, and coughed. He was Asian, and this was the first time he had coffee! It didn't even have sugar or milk! It's just pure, black coffee!
"IT IS BAD?"
"It's. a little too strong."
"AH YES. I LIKE IT STRONG BECAUSE ITS HARD TO STAY AWAKE WHEN I HAVE NOT SLEPT FOR THE PAST 4,439 YEARS."
"Then why don't you sleep?"
"SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK."
"I recall my parents once said that sleep is good for you, and it's how we grow up."
"THAT IS ONLY DURING YOUR FORMATIVE YEARS. ELDERS SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS."
Huang Lu stopped. "I was expecting a fight. I thought all secret realms involved fights."
"YOU ARE CLUELESS."
"I am clueless."
"SECRET REALMS ARE WHATEVER THE CREATORS WANT IT TO BE."
"Ah." Huang Lu rubbed his head, he recalled Toh Gen saying something like that. "But why did it say there's treasure and potential harem members?"
The statue turned, and it creaked. The dragon's head started to move, and the red eyes stared at Huang Lu. "AH! YOU ARE ONE OF THOSE HEAVENLY SELF-INSERT PROTAGONIST FATED TO SLAY EVERY SINGLE BAD GUY YOU ENCOUNTER."
"I am?"
"I AM KIDDING. THAT WOULD BE A FATE FAR TOO CRUEL FOR A MAN OF SUCH MUSCLES. AND IF YOU ARE, WE ARE FATED TO FIGHT TO THE DEATH!"
Huang Lu breathed a sigh of relief. "So we don't have to fight to the death?"
"NO." A chessboard appeared. "TELL ME, HUANG LU. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ART?"
"Art? I know no art. I was a street rat before this. Do I look like I am some noble cultured man?"
The dragon statue paused for a moment. The sounds of birds chirping suddenly seemed deafening. There were no birds in this secret realm. Not a single bird. So where did the chirps come from?
The dragon statue turned some more, and then suddenly, a rift in space appeared before their very eyes. "HOW CAN A MAN NOT KNOW ART?"
Art, of course, was defined by the dragons to be the four arts of music, chess, calligraphy and painting. It was really a rich scholarly hobby.
"When I don't have enough money to live, duh." Huang Lu wasn't sure why he was answering so nonchalantly, and he wasn't sure why he was taking another sip of that bitter shit black coffee. "Art's for rich people and cultivators who have too much freaking time on their hands. Street rats like me, the only art I care about is the art of getting food."
"SEE. THIS IS WHY WE DO NOT INTERACT WITH THE MORTAL WORLD OR EVEN CULTIVATORS. YOU PEOPLE ARE JUST CULTURELESS SWINE."
"I may not know art, but I have culture! Food culture! Bao culture!' Huang Lu didn't like the whole cultureless thing. Sure, he may not know the fine arts, but culture? Everyone had that!
The dragon once again paused. "POINT TAKEN. FOOD IS CULTURE. BUT ARTS. YOU LACK IT, AND AS YOU HAVE SHOWN SUFFICIENT COOPERATION WITH THIS OLD CHAOZELONG, I SHALL BESTOW YOU AN ART. MAY YOU TAKE THE FIRST STEPS TO EDUCATE YOURSELF."
At that moment, four scrolls appeared before him.
[MUSIC]
[BOARD GAMES]
[CALLIGRAPHY AND POETRY]
[PAINTING]
"I have to choose?"
"OF COURSE. I CAN'T FORCE YOU TO READ IT. PICK ONE."