The townspeople rushed in, quickly tying up the bandits. Prunhiline and Britina stood in the town square, talking with the innkeeper, who was also the town’s mayor and sheriff.

“So, the bandits came to the town several months ago and took the whole town hostage.” Britina was making sure she understood why the bandits were there.

“Yes, they forced many of the men to join, threatening to harm their families if they refused,” said Dale.

“So, we beat up villagers, too?” Prunhiline asked. She didn’t want “conqueror of villagers” as part of her title.

“Yes, but don’t worry. We understand.” Dale said.

The two women watched as several men were led out of the hideout. Britina counted and realized that fifteen out of twenty were villagers. This wasn’t looking good for Prunhiline’s title.

The five remaining men were taken to the inn’s basement, which doubled as a food cellar and jail. The two women began to feel slightly embarrassed.

“Maybe we should keep this between us,” Britina said.

“No! I want to write to the king about how the heroes of the realm saved our village!” Dale said. He’d always wanted to send a letter to the king. He’d even tried a few times but felt silly with letters that started, “Hi, how are you?”

“Well, we are heroes of the realm.” Britina looked around. “But…could we maybe leave out the part where most of the bandits were villagers?”

“Of course!” Dale said, understanding the heroes’ embarrassment. “I’ll stick to the facts…but maybe skip a few details.”

“We’d appreciate that,” Britina said.

“Liberator of villages!” Prunhiline exclaimed.

Dale looked at her, confused, as Britina smiled. Prunhiline was working out how to add to her already long title.

Prunhiline stood to her full height—six-foot-seven and three-quarters, pointed her finger in the air and declared, “I am Prunhiline of the Plains! Liberator of villages, defeater of…”

Britina interrupted, “Dear love, we need to get some rest. We still have a long journey ahead of us tomorrow.” Britina thought to herself, “I am Britina of the sea, the savor of keeping people from hearing Prunhiline’s full title.”

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“Do I have to take another bath?” Prunhiline asked as they walked with Dale back to the inn.

“No, dear love. I think we’ve had enough rampaging adventures for today,” Britina replied. Dale nodded, clearly relieved at the prospect of no more baths.

“How about another ale and a nice wine for the lady,” Dale said.

“Ale? Count me in!” Prunhiline said.

“Thank you, Dale. I'd like a nice glass of wine,” Britina said, smiling at the innkeeper.

The three settled at a table by the fire. Dale brought out a bottle of wine for himself and Britina, and a large mug of ale for Prunhiline.

“You are going to see the King of the Dwarves?” Dale asked. “I’ve heard he can be rather difficult. We get a few dwarves through here going to trade at the capital. They mostly keep to themselves and only stay for a few mugs of ale even though they all complain that it’s not as good as back home.”

“Dwarven ale is the best!” Prunhiline said, taking another gulp of her ale. “It’s strong and will put hair on your legs.” Britina stared blankly at the warrior.

“So, I’ve heard.” Said Dale, “They even show off their legs when they say that.”

Britina imagined the Dwarven king would be more like Prunhiline than a typical royal. She began to dread the mission; it had been a misadventure from the start, and she only hoped the rest of the craziness was behind them. The universe chuckled, but she refused to hear it.

“Well, ladies, I need to check on the prisoners, and then I’m off to bed,” Dale said as he rose from his seat.

“That sounds like a fine idea, Dale,” Britina said, yawning into the back of her hand.

“Yep! I’m ready for some bunk time.” Prunhiline said, downing the last of her ale.

Dale parted ways with the two adventurers. As the women ascended the stairs, he opened the door to the cellar. Prunhiline was asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow, while Britina took a moment to write in her diary before settling in for the night.

Dale was not happy. He entered the makeshift jail and glared at Ralph and the four other men. “You idiots nearly gave the whole operation away,” he growled, kicking the two who’d started the mess. “And you, Ralph, I told you to lay low! I knew heroes would come through here eventually, but you had to pull one more job.”

“Boss!” Ralph said, “We didn’t know those two were the heroes. Look at them. They are...”He stopped, “Odd.”

“Odd and powerful. Those two oddities took down all our men without breaking a sweat. By the goddess Candy!” Dale swore. “One was naked!”

The five men looked down at the floor in shame. They knew they had been beaten.

“What are we going to do, boss?” Ralph said. “They are expecting us to be tried or sent to the capital or…” Ralph paled, “executed.”

“Shut up, you idiot. Our ‘guards’ will fall asleep, and you five will slip out in the middle of the night. With the excitement and the booze, the two ‘heroes’ should sleep through it all. Not a sound, understand?” Dale pointed sternly at the men.

“Yeah, boss.” They all said.

Dale turned to the two “guards.” “Now, get comfortable. I want you out cold soon. Make it look good.”

“What if they want to pursue?” Ralph asked.

“They won’t. I’ll remind them they have an appointment to keep, and we’ll set up defense until the king can send men to help,” Dale said. “The king will send men?” Ralph was shocked. That would ruin the whole operation.

“No, you idiot! I’ll write to the king, praising the heroes and assuring him all is well.” Dale really wanted to send a letter to the king, and this was his chance. “I’m going to bed!” He stormed off, leaving the men confused and worried.