For once, the house was blissfully quiet. With Prunhiline out for the day, Britina planned to savor the peace and be productive. First on the list: breakfast.

Britina approached the kitchen with some trepidation. Prunhiline had left earlier that morning. Britina was afraid that she would walk into a major disaster in the kitchen. Prunhiline wasn't known for her cooking or cleaning skills. She found the kitchen as pristine as she had left it the night before. This surprise reinforced her idea that it would be a wonderful day.

Britina grabbed the frying pan hanging from the wall and placed it on the burner, letting it heat. She opened the fridge to find no demon portal waiting for her. She grabbed two eggs and a few slices of bacon and turned to the stove. No assassin lurking in the pantry, ready to pounce. Yes, today was looking good.

Humming, Britina prepared her meal. But as she reached the stove, one rebellious slice of bacon slipped from her grasp and landed with a taunting splat. Britina frowned but considered that she still had enough for a decent breakfast. She stepped over the fallen bacon to the stove.

She managed to get one slice of bacon into the pan and cracked the first egg, only for it to betray her, splattering its contents onto the floor. This wasn't going to change Britina's mood; she still had one egg and one piece of bacon. She cracked the last egg that did comply and poured it next to the single slice of bacon. One egg and one slice of bacon was still a good breakfast.

Stepping over the egg mess, Britina forgot the treacherous bacon. One misplaced step later, she found herself sprawled on the floor, butt in the yolk. Still a good day.

Britina slowly climbed to her feet, avoiding the evil slice of bacon. Rubbing her sore rump and regretting getting egg yolk on her hand, she grabbed a mop to clean up the mess. What egg yolk that wasn't covering her sore butt was cleaned up from the floor, and she found the slice of bacon on the other side of the kitchen. It was promptly thrown into the trash with a few choices of unladylike words (Prunhiline's fault for exposing her to such language).

A sharp, burning smell pulled Britina’s attention back to the stove. Her breakfast was burning. She scrambled to salvage it, throwing open the window to vent the smoke. Her bacon was extra crispy, and her eggs more so.

Breakfast would be jam and toast. She checked the pantry: there was still no demon portal, no assassin, and, unfortunately, no jam. So, toast for breakfast.

Britina stood at the window nibbling her toast and breathing in the fresh air. A moaning noise caused her to open her eyes and peer into her neighbor's backyard. The neighbor's ghoul stood watching her. He waved politely and then went back to his chores. She shivered; that thing always gave her the creeps.

After cleaning the kitchen, Britina went to her bedroom to change out of her now dirty dress. Her only clean dress had more battle damage than fashion sense. The bottom hem was slightly undone from a fight with some nasty knolls (That, dear reader, that is another story for another day). The sleeves had a few stains and were very worn after an unfortunate altercation with a troll (Yep, you guessed it, another story, another day). But, her other suitable dresses were all dirty from the various misadventures of the week. It didn't matter; she was staying home and studying. Best of all, she wasn't expecting any visitors, so she didn't need to look her best.

Despite the morning's setbacks, Britina resolved to have a productive day. Britina grabbed a cushion from the couch and placed it in her chair. The extra padding helped with her sore posterior.

Britina decided it was a good time to review her notes from her last study session. She drifted into her happy place as she poured over the notes. A smile began to make its way to her lips. Ah, how she enjoyed studying theoretical magic.

Her smile didn't last long before it was replaced with a frown. Something was wrong. Her notes seemed to skip from one idea to another with little explanation. After ten minutes of pondering, she finally noticed a page missing. She had spent hours studying, but the critical information was missing. She put her notes away in frustration.

It was still going to be a productive day. She could spend the rest of the quiet day working on her alchemy. After an hour of preparation, she was happy again as she mixed various chemicals. A little of this and a little of that was mixed and stirred. She checked her notes quickly, and yes, a lot of that other thing. Once she poured the blue liquid into the green, she realized it wasn't supposed to be a lot, but a little!

Boom! The explosion shattered a few beakers, filling the room with smoke. Britina hit the lever to open the skylight, silently cursing her oversight. There was a good reason she requested a skylight in her study. Unfortunately, it was today of all days that she needed it.

Britina glanced at her reflection: soot-covered face, hair a tangled mess. She groaned; now she needed to wash her hair, and her study was a mess. She despised a messy study.

After Britina cleaned her study, she collapsed onto her chair, wincing at the pain of her still sore butt. Her pillow had fallen onto the floor. She reached down to get it when there was a roar from the living room.

Britina shot to her feet. If Prunhiline had brought home another "pet," her "wife" would discover how bad Britina's day had been. Britina slammed open the door to the living room to not find Prunhiline standing there. Instead of her roommate, there was a large demon. This was not going to be a good day!

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"Prunhiline!" bellowed a massive green demon, turning to face Britina. "Maiden of the plains, slayer of the—"

"Wait!" Britina raised a hand. "Spare us the full title. We’ll be here all day."

"Well, yes, it is a bit long, but…" The demon stammered, looking perplexed. "Wait, are you Prunhiline? I was expecting you to be, I don't know, taller?"

Britina sighed and composed herself. "I'm not Prunhiline. I am Lady Britina." She announced with authority and pride. Her name had been known to send foes running in fear.

"Who?" The demon asked, confused.

"Lady Britina!" She announced again, this time irritated.

"I'm sorry. I don't know much about this realm. Is Prun here?" The demon asked to look around.

"No, she said she had to meet someone today. What is your business with her?" Britina growled.

"Oh, well, that someone would be me. She challenged me to fight to the death." The demon declared with pride. "I am the Demon Lord..."

"Of course she did." Britina interrupted him in case there was a long title. "Was this challenge to take place in my living room?" Britina was once again irritated at both the demon and the warrior.

"Oh, no. We are supposed to meet at the arena." The demon said, still looking about the room.

"Then, why are you here? Were you going to walk there with her?" Britina was by now very annoyed at the demon.

"Oh, no. I was hoping to, uh, you know, catch her here before she left." The demon said, finally looking at the mage.

"Really, maybe unarmed?" Britina said, anger added to her annoyance.

"Well, yes. That was the idea." The demon smiled evilly.

"Wouldn't have done you much good," Britina said with a mischievous smile.

"Why not?" The demon asked, getting angry with this small, insignificant woman.

"She's very resourceful, and besides, she keeps all of her weapons here. You would have given her a reason to use more exotic ones." Britina said with a sneer.

"Right, good point." The demon stood staring down at Britina. "You know, maybe I can demoralize her by killing her maid."

"Maid?" Britina asked, raising one of her eyebrows. "You think I'm her maid." For a moment, Britina felt it was more accurate than she wanted to admit to the demon.

"Well, maybe not; you do look kinda shabby." The demon gestured to her appearance.

Britina's rage boiled to the top. Her day was getting worse. "I am LADY BRITINA! Mage of the…"

"Yes, yes." The demon waved his hand, interrupting Brtina. "You keep saying your name. Doesn't mean anything to me. Do you work for Prun?" Then, the demon had the audacity to yawn.

"I AM HER WIFE!" Shouted Britina.

"You? Her wife? Really?" The demon snickered, unimpressed.

"You have a problem with that?" Britina snarled. She hated being judged for being married to the warrior. It wasn't anyone's concern but hers, even if it was by accident.

"No, no! You just seem a little, uh, short." The demon shrugged, giving Britina his best smile.

"Short!" Britina shouted. A volcano of anger surged through the mage.

"No matter, if you are her wife, then killing you will be better!" The demon announced this as he hefted his large ax.

Britina stopped to inspect the sizeable green demon. He was easily the same height as Prunhiline, with broad shoulders and well-defined muscles. He was a brute!

"Kill me! KILL ME!" Britina yelled, magic crackling around her. "I fell on my ass, burned my breakfast, lost pages in my notes, blew up my study, and now, you are going to KILL ME! NOT TODAY DEMON! FLOCKOX!"

The demon holding his ax over his head, ready to cut her in two, stopped. He wasn't used to people ranting at him as he was prepared to kill them. Something was wrong with this small lady. He didn't like it. And the language really disturbed him.

"You shouldn't use such language, young lady." The demon scolded.

Britina unleashed her magic, her feet lifting off the floor as glowing blue runes appeared on her skin. Her eyes burned with an otherworldly light. She floated eye to eye with the demon.

"What power." The demon whispered in awe.

"No." Britina's voice was deep, causing the room to rumble. "This is only a small portion of my power. I would like for my home to stay intact."

The demon stood in fear, staring into Britina's glowing blue eyes. The power she was drawing was immense. He had never seen anything like it before.

"Dark Goddess, forgive me," the demon whispered, trembling as his body unraveled. Britina tore the molecules in his body apart, leaving nothing but dust on her living room floor.

"She will not," Britina murmured, releasing her magic and descending gracefully to the floor. Staring at the pile of dust, she sighed, "Great, more cleaning."

Prunhiline returned later, visibly disappointed. She entered the living room to find Britina sitting on the couch, reading one of her boring books. Not the cool ones the warrior read with sparkling werewolves and happy-go-lucky vampires.

"How was your day, dear love?" Britina asked, looking up from her book.

"Not so good. The demon I was supposed to vanquish didn't show. I really wanted to add that to my title. So I played tag with some kids in the park and then took a nap. How was your day?"

Britina thought for a moment. "Not too bad."