"We are not leaving the main road again,” Britina declared as Prunhiline let out a low grumble. They had left the inn again and had an uneventful half-day ride. At this pace, they’d reach the next village well before nightfall, which delighted Britina. She needed a hot tea and a hot bath. Prunhiline also needed a bath, but that would be a problem Britina was willing to face after her hot tea and hot bath.

A noise came from the right side of the road. The women ignored it. It was probably play-acting dragons or thespian trolls. Britina wasn’t in the mood. But ever the warrior, Prunhiline rested her hand on her weapon, always on guard and hoping for a fight.

A noise erupted from both sides of the road as ten men, five on each side, jumped out. One man, dressed head-to-toe in green and wielding a bow, stepped directly into their path. Raising one hand, he shouted, “Hold!” The women halted, eyeing him curiously. “We are Ralph’s Roughnecks. I am Ralph, and we are here to claim the toll of using our road.” The two women simply stared at him, making him visibly uncomfortable. This wasn’t how it usually went.

“Excuse me,” Britina said. The man gave her a big smile. He was a thief, but he still considered himself a polite thief. “You aren’t by any chance thespians?” The man gave her a confused look. “You know, actors.” The man looked to his companions as they all looked at him and each other. They had never been asked that before. The universe chuckled.

Finally, one man raised his hand, “I used to do some acting back in school before I dropped out.”

“He was pretty good too.” One man said, and several nodded in agreement.

“Good,” Britina asked the man, “Are you acting now?”

The thespian in question looked at his companions for support. “Well, I do try to channel my inner bandit when we rob people.” The man said. The other men nodded to each other. It was a good answer.

“But are you a real bandit?” Prunhiline asked, leaning forward in her saddle. The excitement of battle began to make her happy. She had a lot of pent-up frustration from their last two nonexistent “battles.”

“Well, yes.” The green-clad leader said with some flamboyance. “We are bandits, and we wish to relieve you of the burden of your gold.” He gave a slight bow and a large smile, showing all his intact white teeth.

“Good, good,” Britina said, happy that this wouldn’t be a misunderstanding like the last two times. She was getting tired of these missed opportunities to be a hero. Besides, lectures from zombies were getting tiresome. The werewolves were lovely, and she hoped she would see them again. (She would, but that’s another story for another time.)

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Prunhiline gave the man an extra-large wicket smile, which made all the bandits uncomfortable. “So, this is real?” she practically bounced in her saddle.

“Yes, dear love. This is real.” Britina began to match her companion’s wicked grin.

“Um, why are you smiling like that? We are robbing you, " the leader said, not understanding the situation. The universe laughed.

“Oh?” Both women said.

Prunhiline dismounted her horse. The tallest of the men was six-three. She stared down at them. They looked at each other, not knowing what to do. By this point, most travelers were usually begging for mercy. This tall woman looked through her bags as if on a holiday. Which, for Prunhiline, she was. The men gasped as she slowly pulled out her large, imposing war hammer. They didn’t like where this was going.

“Bri?” Prunhiline asked. Britina looked over at her companion. “Blast any that run!” Prunhiline said with way too much glee.

“Yes, dear love.” Britina eagerly agreed, preparing her spell.

Three men rushed at the tall warrior. She swung her war hammer, sending them flying onto their backsides. Their ribs hurt, their butts hurt, and their spleens hurt (and they didn’t know where their spleen was that morning). The leader raised his bow, only for it to shatter in his hands from one of Britina’s energy blasts. Two more men rushed Prunhiline; she twirled around and swung her legs to sweep them off their feet. They, too, learned where their spleen was located. The four remaining men looked at each other. Two began to run down the road as two energy blasts knocked them hard to the ground. One ran toward Prunhiline and the other toward Britina. Prunhiline knocked the man hard on the forehead with the butt of her war hammer. Britina allowed the man to get close before blasting him squarely in the face. The five men on the ground scrambled to their feet only to be knocked down by Prunhiline’s fierce war hammer.

The leader watched in awe and fear. No one had ever fought back like this before. “Retreat!” he shouted. All of the men tried to get away. Several found the war hammer’s reach was greater than expected and again found themselves on the ground. Energy spells were blasting the few not within the war hammer's reach. The men began to scream and panic.

“Run!” One man shouted as they all began to scatter in different directions. Prunhiline started to pursue, but Britina shouted for her to stop.

“Fine! Run, you cowards! I’ll find you later!” Prunhiline shouted after them.

Britina laughed, feeling refreshed. At last, a battle had gone the way she wanted. “Dear love, we did good,” Britina said, feeling more refreshed and confident.

“Yeah, but they got away,” Prunhiline complained.

“We let them go, dear love. We still have our mission, and it doesn’t include rounding up bandits,” Britina reminded her.

“You’re right, Bri,” Prunhiline grumbled. She perked up, adding, “But that was fun!”

“Yes, it was, dear love.” Britina smiled.