Prunhiline, the warrior of the plains, sat with a look of pure satisfaction. Beside her sat her best friend and accidental wife, Britina, a Magi of the Fifth Circle of the Arcane Arts. Britina came from a long line of law-abiding merchants and scholars and she was most certainly not smiling. Her usually beautiful features were contorted with a dark, angry scowl.

Prunhiline didn't notice her companion's sullen state and burst out with her ordinarily loud, joyous, and sometimes obnoxious laugh, "That was fun, Bri!"

“Yes, dear love,” Britina sneered. “But now we seem to be in jail. Again. A nice jail, yes, but still a jail.”

The jail in question was deep under the dwarven capital of Uderban, with a rather “lovely” view of the lava pits. The cell itself was suspended on a chain directly over said pits. These particular cells were typically used for more severe crimes. Overall, it was nice, a bit dry, but tidy. As everyone knows, dwarves are not only solemn people but also tidy people.

Britina's sour comment only fueled Prunhiline's laughter. "It's a nice jail that serves beer! For every meal! Even breakfast!"

Prunhiline stood up, bumping her head on the low ceiling again. The dwarven cell was definitely made for someone much shorter than she was. Their tallest warrior was an astonishing five feet, whereas Prunhiline was six feet seven inches and three quarters. Not really three-quarters, but being an average height in her village caused her to want to be a little taller. Rubbing her head, Prunhiline sat down hard on the bunk beside Britina, laughing even louder. Britina rolled her eyes.

"Yes, dear love. But I do prefer a fine wine over, ugh, beer. Besides, shouldn't we be worried about how cross the dwarven king is?"

"Na! I'm sure he'll see it was only harmless fun and a little misunderstanding!" Prunhiline stretched her legs out, placing her feet on the bars across from them.

“Harmless fun” was not precisely how the dwarven king had seen it. In fact, he was so furious that Britina’s “What Did You Say” spell couldn’t even translate some of the dwarven profanity. It gave Britina a cold shiver to think the king had resorted to the ancient dwarven curses to express himself adequately.

Prunhiline yawned and snuggled into the only bed, inadvertently pushing Britina against the bars. With both of them squeezed into the small cell, Britina started feeling a bit claustrophobic. Some of her new phobias mostly came from Prunhiline, such as having monsters under the bed (Hello dear reader, that's a story for another day).

"They could have at least given us two cells." Mumbled Britina.

“Why? This is fun! It’s like a sleepover… over a volcano! I’ve always wanted to do that!” Prunhiline giggled.

Britina's face wouldn't allow her to frown any deeper, so she added a glare to the ensemble.

“Well, we’d still be in the larger cell if it weren’t for that last unfortunate incident,” Britina muttered.

Prunhiline began to look slightly embarrassed after being reminded of the incident. Britina's frown lost its footing on her face. Soon, her scowl was being replaced with a small smile. The smile charged forward to become a grin, and soon, the mage was giggling. Prunhiline looked at her companion as if she had lost her mind.

"Oh, dear love, I did enjoy the looks on the dwarves' faces when they rushed into our cell in full armor and ready for battle! The whole city was on alert. This place hasn't seen this much excitement in many years." Britina said with a hint of sarcasm.

Prunhiline looked down at the lava pit with some embarrassment. "So, what was it they were shouting?"

Britina’s eyes sparkled with amusement. “Dragon!” She laughed so hard that the cell began to swing on its chain.

"What dragon!" Prunhiline shouted. "I didn't see a dragon."

"There wasn't a dragon; it was you." Britina laughed again.

"Me?" Prunhiline asked, confused.

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"You were snoring, and they thought you were the dragon." Britina enjoyed teasing the warrior.

"I don't snore that loud," Prunhiline grumbled.

"Yes, dear love, you do." Britina was on the verge of tears.

"That's no reason to put us in the high-security prison." Prunhiline pouted.

Britina considered what the warrior had said. "No, snoring wasn't the only reason they were moved to the prison's high-security section. It had more to do with what happened when they startled you awake."

The first cell they shared was far larger than their current cage. It was intended to hold a dozen dwarves. When the guards escorted them to the dungeon with the other prisoners, the other occupants suddenly changed their minds. Britina had hoped that she and her companion would inspire criminals to change, but she knew it was less inspiration and more fear of the tall warrior.

A few recognized the two women and began to whisper to the others who they were. Many became agitated and almost frightened. The whispers became more frantic as one battle-worn dwarf with many scars approached the cell door.

"I be confessing of my crimes." He announced. All of the dwarves' become silent.

The warden stared at him in confusion. "I thought you said you didn't do it."

"Oh, aye, I did it and a few more." He said.

The whispers started up again. The other inmates looked at the old dwarf with a mixture of respect and fear. He, on the other hand, was staring hard at Prunhiline.

Prunhiline looked at the old dwarf curiously. "I know you!" She announced. "Um, you are, yeah, you are. You were the ball!" Everyone, including Britina, looked at Prunhiline as if she had gone crazy. "You came to our village, something about you being the greatest warrior or something. Yeah, you were the ball for our first game of dwarf ball! That was a blast; I'd love to do that again. You guys up?" She looked around at the other inmates.

There was an uproar as all the prisoners confessed their crimes and begged for immediate trials. The warden had taken mercy on them and expedited their hearings to that day, and the criminals were all very thankful.

Soon, the two women found themselves alone. Britina smiled at the sight of Prunhiline passed out on the much too small dwarven bed. The bunk was just large enough to allow her to lie down with her knees bent over the edge and her feet stretched across the floor. Her arms were so long that her one arm was lying on the floor. It had been an eventful day, and both women fell fast asleep.

Later that night, the guards rushed into the cell, yelling, "Dragon! Dragon!" The noise had startled both Britina and Prunhiline from their slumber. On instinct, both women leaped into battle. Britina cast her “Freeze It” spell, encasing several dwarves in a block of ice. The other dwarves rushing in weren't as lucky as their frozen companions. Prunhiline charged into the dwarves’ ranks, knocking most of them down and disarming the rest. She then proceeded to toss them around the cell like ragdolls. Soon, the battle left the cell and entered the hall. More dwarven warriors joined the fight.

Britina was initially confused as to why they were shouting dragon when there was none. She ran out into the hall after Prunhiline. Prunhiline and the dwarves were still fighting, but there was still no dragon in sight. Then Britina spotted the king in full armor, storming into the prison. He appeared to be even angrier than he was earlier at their first trial.

Britina cast her "I'm talking here" spell and shouted, "Snickerdoodle!" The spell amplified her voice, and all the dwarves grasped their ears in pain. Prunhiline stopped mid-swing and dropped the three dwarves she was holding. “Snickerdoodle” was their code word to stop fighting immediately, no matter what. Prunhiline looked at Britina, confused.

The dwarven king began to shout at them and his guards. Britina didn’t need a spell to know what the king was shouting; the meaning was crystal clear. The dwarven warriors began to regroup, and a few that were still conscious were ordered to escort the warrior and the mage to their new high-security cell.

Britina had overheard some guards talking during their first meal in the cell. Thankfully, there hadn't been any casualties, but many of the guards had been hurt during the "battle." There was a concern that the number was so high that there wasn't enough to guard the city properly.

“I don’t snore that loud,” Prunhiline muttered. “Maybe fiercely, but not loud.”

Britina began to laugh harder. The warrior had no idea how loud and fierce she snored. She didn't realize she had defeated and scared away a group of gnolls with her snoring while camping out. She, indeed, did have a fierce snore.

Britina had known Prunhiline since college and had been roommates for as long. She knew the warrior's habits, including lack of bathing and snoring. Britina gave Prunhiline a long, knowing look that caused her companion to sink into the bed sheepishly.

"I can't help it." The warrior whined. "I'm a sound sleeper. It's why my father didn't allow me to go with them on overnight hunting parties."

"You scared away all of the animals?"

"Yes," Prunhiline said meekly.

Britina shook her head. She looked at her tall, muscular companion, attempting to become comfortable in the small cage. She knew Prunhiline was uncomfortable in a cage; she was a plainswoman and preferred open spaces. Prunhiline could turn any boring event into excitement, even in her sleep.

"Things will work out, dear love, but I believe our king will not be happy once he learns about our imprisonment. We are heroes of the realm, after all."

"I don't know what the big deal was all about. It was just harmless fun." Prunhiline said as she tapped the bars with her foot.

Britina’s mind wandered back to their “original” crime. She’d warned Prunhiline it was a bad idea, but, of course, the warrior hadn’t listened.

Prunhiline frowned. “Who could have known dwarf-jumping was illegal in all dwarven cities?”

"One would wonder, dear love; one would wonder," Britina said, shaking her head.