“It’s good to be at an inn before dark,” Britina said as she stretched her soar muscles. She and Prunhiline had dismounted and given their horses to the stable lad. He looked up at the tall warrior in awe. Prunhiline swung her arms and stretched her long legs.

“I’d be happy to sleep under the stars,” Prunhiline said. She loved being outdoors but knew the mage didn’t.

“Well, we will have a nice meal, some tea for me and beer for you, and a nice soft bed.” Britina looked at her companion, “And a hot bath before bedtime.” Prunhiline shuddered. “A hot bath for both of us before bedtime,” Britina said sternly. The warrior was becoming ripe.

“Briiii, do I have to?” The tall warrior whined.

“Yes,” Britina hissed. Even the horses were beginning to show signs that they thought the warrior stunk.

The innkeeper excitedly greeted them as they entered the inn: “Welcome! Welcome! Two rooms and a meal?”

“Two rooms, meals, and two hot baths,” Britina said as Prunhiline scowled at the floor. “Do you have any tea?”

“Not many people drink tea, but I do have some in my personal collection. I love tea myself.” The innkeeper said.

“Wonderful,” Britina clapped, “And a few ales for my friend.” This made Prunhiline perk up. Ale beats a bath anytime.

The stable boy brought in their bags and delivered them to their rooms. Britina was very impressed with the service they were getting. The two women sat down to enjoy a nice meal, tea, and ale. The food was better than expected. The tea was not the best she had had, but it was good and satisfied her craving for it. Prunhiline, on the other hand, devoured the food as if it was the best meal in the world and gulped down her first mug of ale. Britina had tried and failed at getting her companion to have some manners. Prunhiline was a lost cause.

As the two women finished their meal and drinks, the innkeeper, Dale, said, “We have your baths ready in your rooms.”

“Thank you, Dale,” Britina said. Prunhiline grunted and resigned herself to the punishment of a bath.

As the two made their way up the stairs to their rooms, Britina reminded Prunhiline, “No weapons in the tub. Remember what happened last time.”

“Yeah, yeah. The water was everywhere.” Prunhiline grumbled, “But what if someone attacked me while I was bathing.” The last part was a cross between a growl and a whimper.

“Well, in that case, you can go on a full rampage,” Britina said. There was little to no chance of the warrior being attacked while bathing, so the mage felt confident that it would be OK to relent. The universe laughed.

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“Really?” Prunhiline said excitedly.

“Yes, dear love, a full rampage.” Britina smiled. Maybe this was the way to get her to bathe more often. Prunhiline loved a good rampage.

“Right! Bath time!” Prunhiline said with some actual enthusiasm.

Britina wasn’t worried about rampages in this small town. She smiled and pumped her fist in a mock cheer as the warrior bounded up the stairs to her room. She finished her tea, thanked the innkeeper, and followed the warrior. She was looking forward to a good hot bath. Two pairs of sinister eyes followed the two up the stairs.

“You sure that’s them?” Said one pair of sinister eyes.

“Yeah, the mage and the giant.” Said the second pair.

“Should we tell the boss?” The first asked.

“Nah, they match the description. Let’s kill them and then tell the boss.” The second pair said. “Let’s start with the giant. The other smaller woman won’t be a problem.” The universe rolled with laughter.

Prunhiline sat in the bathtub with her yellow wooden ducky. The tub was too small for her, and she had almost to fold herself in half. Her knees were nearly touching her chin. Splash went the ducky as Prunhiline excitedly said, “Rampage” to the empty room, “Boom!” in went the ducky.

As Prunhiline was prepared to dunk her ducky again, the door of her room smashed open as two large men rushed in, brandishing their weapons and screaming.

Prunhiline looked at the two men and clapped her hands. “Yes!!! The bath’s over! Rampage time!”

This wasn’t the reaction the two men were expecting. They stopped yelling and lowered their weapons. Finally, one of the men decided that more yelling and brandishing of his weapon was needed. The other was confused but felt left out, so he started to yell and wave his weapon about, too.

Prunhiline unfolded from the tub. She stood naked and wet, holding her ducky. She began to yell and swing her ducky like a weapon. The men yelled louder, and the warrior matched their volume.

Britina sunk into the warm, soapy water as the yelling started. She rolled her eyes and sighed in frustration. She wanted this bath, so she decided to leave the tub after the yelling stopped. She would need another bath after the cleanup.

The men stopped yelling and stared at the tall, naked, wet warrior. Prunhiline stopped and stared back momentarily as she shouted, “RAMPAGE!” She grabbed her sword, which was leaning against the tub, and charged. The men screamed in terror and ran.

When Britina heard Prunhiline scream rampage, she reluctantly climbed from the tub. She took her time drying and dressing, wanting the warrior to have a little fun.

A naked Prunhiline charged out the door after the frightened men. They ran down the stairs screaming as loud as they could as if a six-foot-seven tall plains-woman with a giant sword was chasing them, which she was. Prunhiline did her best to scream just as loud as she swung the great sword over her head, intending to behead one or both of the men. She was in rampage mode! The men were in terrified mode. Britina was in her let Prunhiline have some fun mode.

Britina left her room and saw a naked Prunhiline run out of the inn. She sighed and remembered that the warrior had no problems with nudity in public. Britina tried to get the warrior to understand that some people and cultures frown on it, but her friend’s response was always the same: I don’t have a problem with my body; if someone else does, it’s their problem, not mine. Britina appreciated her friend's body positive outlook but still wanted the warrior to wear clothes. So, the mage chased after the naked warrior as she prepared a spell to cover up said warrior.