My friend, my teacher, was dying.

Putting down the bundle of blankets, I sighed out the stale air of death.

Why did humans get this smell? When they were about to die? It was so distinct. So noticeable.

How come no one else ever noticed it…? Or did they, but they knew better than to bring it up? Maybe it was common courtesy to just… not mention it aloud…

“Now now, no crying,” Witch whispered from her bed.

Sniffing as I turned, I did my best to smile to my decrepit friend.

How long had it been since I had heard her voice? Weeks, at least!

She looks so frail that even the thin blanket covering her body would be enough to smother and crush her. It was a good thing she didn’t look like she was in pain.

And at least she was awake for once.

I wasn’t sure how she slept so much. This home had grown noisy these last few years. Fredlo had moved in, and her son had grown up into a young boy. A loud one that was always running around and pretending to be a knight as he waved sticks around and fought imaginary foes. She had also given birth to another daughter, and two of Fredlo’s siblings had come to live with us too. Though I hadn’t ever really understood why they had done so, they had ended up being friendly additions to Witch’s family. We had built more homes, more buildings, and even had begun to nurse cattle and goats.

Our quiet home, where she would teach me of the world and humans had become full of humans. A fitting result, somehow.

Stepping over to the bed, I kneeled down to my knees. To sit next to her. I refrained from reaching for her hand, as I usually did lately, since I knew now even just holding her hand was painful for her. Instead I just rested against the edge of the bed, smiling at her.

“Your daughter isn’t sick anymore. She’s running around now, with her brother,” I told her. Just in case no one else had.

She smiled softly, and I hesitated at the sight.

Her eyes…!

Blinking, I shifted a tad closer… doubting what I was seeing right in front of me.

Her eyes weren’t glowing anymore…!

“Witch…” I whispered her name, and wondered if I should say anything. Did she know? Did she know her eyes weren’t a white glow anymore?

They were instead normal. Just like any other persons… though dull, and a strange blue.

They looked like her son’s eyes.

“I’m glad she’s okay,” she whispered.

She…? Oh. Right. Her daughter…

I gulped and nodded. “Yes… would you like to see her?” I asked. Now that she was no longer coughing and throwing up, maybe it would be okay for her to come see her mother.

Especially since…

My breathing became a little erratic as I realized her eyes turning back into normal was probably a sign. A sign of what was about to happen.

Oh no!

“I know, Rennalee… my dear, dear friendly cat,” she whispered to me, noticing my panic.

“But…!” I couldn’t hold it anymore. I leaned forward, grabbing her hand hidden beneath the thin blanket.

“It’s okay. We all end, Rennalee. Even the gods ended,” she whispered the same thing she’d been saying these last few months to me.

I shook my head. “You’re dying because of what we did. This isn’t fair,” I cried.

She had gotten a little better after we had slain my uncle. For a couple years. But then after the birth of her daughter… she had begun to use her powers more constantly.

Not to hunt powerful creatures, or even to cure sick humans… but instead for a more personal reason.

Her daughter had been born infirm. Sick. Weak. And Witch had not hesitated to use her magic because of it.

I had not stopped her. I couldn’t have stopped her. How could anyone stop a mother from helping her children? Especially when she was able to, in such a way?

But oh did it hurt. Oh did it hurt…

Weeping as I stared down at my friend who wasn’t even strong enough to turn her head anymore, I bit back all the things I wanted to scream out.

“I need a favor… Renn…” Witch asked as her hand gripped me back. I found myself despising and hating the thin blanket that separated our hands, even if it was so thin that I could feel her skin through it.

“Anything,” I vowed.

“Careful. Such promises are dangerous with those like me,” she warned, suddenly regaining a little strength.

I smirked at her. “You’ll be my teacher to the end, won’t you?” I asked. That had been her teaching tone. I’d not heard that in a long time.

She giggled for a moment, and then went to coughing. I hesitated and wasn’t sure what to do for her… but then she took a deep breath and nodded, fine again.

Her hand had gripped mine as she had coughed… and I had barely noticed its squeeze.

She had become so very weak.

“I… need you to do two things for me,” she then said.

I nodded.

“Once I’m gone. Keep an eye on my daughter,” she started to say.

“Of course!” I didn’t even hesitate to answer her. Did she think I wouldn’t have? That little girl was who she had sacrificed the last bit of her life for. I’d never not!

But Witch hadn’t finished. She gave me a gentle smile as she shook her head. “Watch her eyes, Rennalee,” she then whispered.

I blinked and frowned at her. “Her eyes…?” I asked.

“If they ever glow. Like mine. You need to help her. Protect her,” she asked.

I slowly nodded, and resisted the urge to run out of the house and go find her right now.

Witch’s eyes had stopped glowing. Did that mean…?

“The other is harder. It will make you cry,” she whispered.

“I’m already crying, Witch,” I said. Did she not notice? The tears wouldn’t stop leaking.

“I figured… but still…” she said with a smile.

Ah… I gulped as I realized she might be blind. Maybe her losing that glowing had been more than just simple light.

“Do for me. What you did for your uncle,” she then said.

For a few heartbeats, nothing happened.

But then I realized what she had just asked of me.

Unhooking our hands I jumped up to my feet, and stepped back.

“No!” I shouted.

If my quick unhooking of our hands had hurt or startled her, she didn’t show it. She remained lying in her bed, giving me a sad smile.

“Please.”

“I can’t!” I shouted again, louder.

How could she even be asking that of me! How could she…! She knew how badly it had hurt me to kill my uncle! We had spent long nights talking about it, and she had even held me after the deed as I wept and…!

“Rennalee…” she whispered my name, and I stepped back.

Should I run away?

I could do it. It’d hurt and I’d cry forever, but…

Rather to run and never see her again than let her convince me.

She had convinced me to hunt my uncle. To end the life of my other family members. Even if out of mercy. Even if the acts needed done…

This and those were not the same! Not at all!

“I can’t,” I whispered to her.

“You can.”

I shook my head, but then remembered she couldn’t see. “Please! Don’t ask it of me!” I begged her.

“I can’t die, Rennalee.”

My heart entered my throat, and I fell back to the ground. This time I did so far less gracefully. I fell to my knees, then to my ass. As I did so, I had knocked into the nearby table. The one I had just laid all the newer weaved blankets upon. They fell in a loud clatter, alongside the table I had knocked over. One fell upon me, while the rest fell around me.

Witch didn’t seem to even register all the commotion I had just made… but my heart was another matter entirely.

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She couldn’t die.

Of course.

That was why she looked so weird. She was all bone and skin. Too weak to even breathe, sometimes.

Her powers. Her magic. It was keeping her alive… even as she died…

So much made sense to me all of a sudden, and I hated every moment of it.

“Renny…?”

I turned a heavy head, and flinched at the sight of a young girl.

Her daughter. Standing at the bedroom door, holding a tiny stuffed animal.

She looked more like Fredlo than Witch, but was adorable all the same.

She must have heard all the shouting and noise. That meant it’d not be long until others showed up too.

“Renny?” she asked again as she frowned at me, and then looked over to her mother on the bed.

Her eyes weren’t glowing.

“Mommy?” she asked softly as she stepped deeper into the room.

“Ah… little love bug, come here,” Witch’s voice grew stronger, sounding happier as the little girl smiled and hurried over to the bed.

Still on the ground, I went silent as I watched the little girl lean forward onto the bed, to talk to her mother.

The little girl in all her youthful innocence didn’t seem to notice at all that her mother not only didn’t look at her… but hadn’t even lifted a hand as to reach out for her, either.

And that was not normal. Not for Witch. She loved that little girl. More than I could imagine.

The only reason Witch would not have wrapped her daughter into a deep hug, was if it was genuinely impossible for her to do so.

My friend was dying.

But unable to.

Reaching up, I grabbed at my shirt. At my chest. I clawed through my thicker clothes, and tried to claw at the skin and bone. To reach my heart.

It hurt so terribly bad that I couldn’t handle it.

“Renny’s crying, mommy,” a tiny voice whispered.

“I know. She’ll be okay,” Witch answered gently.

No.

I wouldn’t be.

Reaching up to my head, I grabbed the blanket that had landed upon me. I unfolded it a little and wrapped it around myself. To hide me from the world.

I wasn’t strong enough to get up and leave. To abandon my friend. To abandon my teacher and her family.

Yet I wasn’t strong enough to face them either.

“Would you go get your father, love bug?” Witch whispered softly.

“Sure!”

Hidden beneath the blanket, I heard and felt the little girl hurry over to me. She paused a few steps from me, and I knew she was staring at me as I hid under the blanket.

“Renny?” she asked worriedly.

“Your father,” Witch reminded her.

“Ah…” the girl stepped away, ushered by her mother.

Weeping under the blanket, I hated everything.

This world. Myself. My friend.

I sat there, half covered by a blanket, as I listened to Fredlo show up. The man was older now. A little fatter. Balder. But he, like always, spoke only with love to his wife. Even as she told him goodbye.

Curling up deeper under the blanket, as her daughter was brought back in alongside her son, I hid from them all as she said goodbye.

I wasn’t sure how long it had taken for them to say goodbye. They had spoken of lovely moments. She had a few words of warning and teachings for her kids. Things she’d seen, that they should prepare for. Moments in the future long from now. She asked Fredlo to save someone they hadn’t met yet. She told them to be gentle with me, as if I was a tiny cat that needed tender care. They wept. They shared their love and then they said goodbye… and I wept through it all.

When eventually it was just me and Witch again, alone in the room… I remained under the blanket. Even as my weeping subsided. Even as my tears dried up.

“Rennalee.”

I sniffed, and ignored the feeling of my stinging eyes. They burnt.

“Renn. My lovely little cat, please,” she whispered softly.

“I don’t want to,” I finally answered.

“I have no one else to ask,” she said.

Yes you did.

You had your husband. Wasn’t this something that you relied on him for?

What was the point of having a mate if you didn’t even let them kill you?

I sniffed as I sat up, and peered out of the blanket to my friend. My teacher.

She had a gentle smile on her face; even though I knew she couldn’t see me… she knew I had just looked at her.

“Why?” I asked.

“My power. My blessing. It keeps me alive even now… and…” she started to explain, but I shook my head as I stood.

Holding the blanket close to me as I stepped forward, I did my best to keep my voice low. To not shout. I knew that Fredlo had taken the kids out of the house, so they’d not hear or see what was about to happen… but I still didn’t want them to hear anything I said.

“Why me?” I asked.

Witch took a deep breath, her tiny frail body shivered as she let it out… and I knew that breath had just hurt her terribly. “You were destined to do it, Renn.”

“You saw this?” I asked softly.

She nodded weakly.

All this time…? “All this time…?” I whispered my thoughts.

She nodded again, this time with a smile. “Since I saw you that day. Lying in the rubble of your home.”

I sniffed loudly and felt strangely heavy all of a sudden. “You saved me, even knowing I’d kill you…?” I asked.

Witch said nothing, nor moved.

How was that possible…? Did she believe in her gods that deeply? Trust them that much?

Did that mean she saw everything all this time? All these years together? All the teachings, the conversations…? The hot summer days where we played in the lakes? The cold winter days with her sniveling as she curled up under covers near the fireplaces?

The hunts? My uncle? Fredlo…? The children…?

If she had seen it all… all this time…

How then did she enjoy it? How did she smile and laugh through it all?

If everything was destined and set in stone like that… then…

“What joy is there to be had?” I whispered.

“More than you can imagine,” she whispered back.

Frowning at her, I decided to take a deep breath and calm down. I had been about to shout again.

“You should have warned me. All this time,” I said angrily as I took the blanket off. I let it slide off my back, to the ground.

“Possibly.”

“What am I going to do afterwards? Without you?” I asked. There was still so much I needed to learn. So much I didn’t know.

Witch said nothing as she smiled at me.

She had taught me so much… about the world, the humans… and in truth, had taught me more than she knew. All the times I’d watched from a distance, like those early moments of her relationship with Fredlo. Or the first few years after her son’s birth… or the way she had treated the humans who had come to her for help. All those moments, those interactions, were firmly dedicated to my memory. Things I’d rely on for an untold number of years.

It wasn’t just her books and teachings that I relied on… it was she herself. I had learned by watching her.

Without her what would I do…? Who would I rely on?

I couldn’t trust other humans. Witch for all her weird oddness was someone I could trust. She had earned my trust by saving my life. By risking her life in front of me, to defeat what I considered to be evils. She was trustworthy for the same reason she called herself a witch, even going so far as using it as her name.

And here in this moment… she proved my trust in her one final time.

I knew she knew full well what I would, and should, do without her. She had likely seen it all already.

Yet she didn’t say a word about it.

She kept it to herself.

“I’ll miss you,” I whispered finally.

Witch’s smile softened as she nodded. “I know. You will, for a long… long time. But it’s okay. You’ll be okay, Rennalee. I promise.”

My tears returned as I nodded. I believed her, or at least… I wanted to.

“How… how do I…?” I hesitated as I wondered how to do it.

Should I stab her as I had my uncle? In the back of the neck? Was there a different method? What if her magic kept her alive even through that?

“My heart,” she whispered, lifting her hand into the air.

I held my breath as her arm lifted… and then paused. The blanket, even as thin as it was, had kept her from being able to lift her arm much higher. I quickly bent down to tug the blanket off her, revealing her skinny body and freeing her arm.

She took a small breath as she then finished lifting her arm, and then placed her hand on her chest… and tapped a certain spot.

“Right here,” she said.

Right. The heart.

Okay.

“Uh… um…” I wasn’t sure what to say. Or do next.

Should I go get something sharp? What would be best? One of the hunting knives? An arrow? Something thicker, maybe, like one of the axes?

“Rennalee.”

I paused and looked back down to my friend. I had been about to step away, to go find a suitable tool.

“Hm…?” I sniffed as I nodded down to her.

“When you run… don’t go south. Go north,” she said.

“Huh…?”

She smiled at me. “It’s okay. You can run after. Just… come back. To check on them. On her. For me. Okay? Please?” she asked.

Oh.

Oh…

I nodded heavily as I realized what she meant.

She knew I was going to run away. The moment after I took her life. To weep. To hide. In shame and pain.

Yet not only was she permitting it… she expected it, and…

Sniffing loudly, I nodded. “Okay. I will,” I promised. I vowed to come back, to keep an eye on her daughter. To see if her eyes ever start glowing like hers.

I wasn’t really sure how I would protect her, or help her, if or when they ever did… but…

“Thank you,” she whispered weakly.

“Mhm…” I made a sad noise, and felt silly.

I should say something. Something better. Just like Fredlo and the kids had just done. They had said goodbye beautifully. They had spoken full of emotion, and spoke of lovely memories and stuff… even the little girl, as young and innocent as she was, had been able to do it.

Yet… why couldn’t I? Why couldn’t I think of anything to say?

All I could do was weep.

Finding a suitable knife, I made sure it was sharp before returning to the bedroom. I sliced open a part of my hand, to make sure it would work. The way it sliced, without even hurting me, told me it would.

When I returned to her, I found her asleep again.

It made me hesitate.

What if she hadn’t asked? What if this had just been some weird dream?

But I knew better than to think that… since I could hear the crying outside of the house.

The children’s cries were loud, especially to my ears. They hurt.

Taking a deep breath, I decided to do it while she slept. Maybe if I did… she’d not feel it. Maybe she’d not feel the pain, or the shock…

Kneeling down next to the bed, I breathed out of my mouth since my nose was all blocked up. I breathed deeply, and tried to do so evenly. I tried not to really think of what I was doing, and about to. I just focused. I held the knife firmly. I angled it and pointed it down where she had tapped at.

“I’ll miss you,” I said again.

She likely knew, but I would never get close to a human again. Not even the special ones, like her.

Not after this.

If this was normal. If this was what they always went through…

If this pain and sorrow was just… so typical to them… if it was something that happened all the time…

I’d not be able to endure this. Ever. In any form.

This was harder to endure than the brutality of my family.

That pit, as cold and empty as it was, was better than this. The pain of flesh was nothing compared to this.

Readying the knife, it took everything I had to stop it from trembling. To stop the shaking.

Getting it under control… I took a very deep breath and hardened myself. Or at least tried to.

She knew I’d run after this. So that meant it was what I’d do.

After I brought this knife down… I’d run away. As far as I could. I’d go up north, as she said. Maybe even back to my home forests.

I’ll do what my uncle did. I’ll find some cave, deep away from anyone and anything… hidden and cold.

So that my heart wouldn’t ever hurt like this again.

I’d run.

And run I did.