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CH 26.5

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The morning sun had yet to peer through the thick forest of the Owl’s Nest, but I knew it’d be soon. I could feel the chill in the air that always hit right before the sun rose. The type that made one want to curl even deeper into covers.

Instead of being under covers I was outside. Sitting on the edge of one of the many balconies and patios. I knew Lomi had long fallen asleep, as likely had Windle, but Lilly had stayed up to keep me company. Right now she wasn’t here. She had gone inside to do something, maybe use the restroom or get a drink. Or maybe just to check on Lomi.

Lilly, for all her strangeness, really cherished children. Particularly the ones who had suffered. Those who had been hurt, or lost something precious, like Lomi.

She saw herself in them, after all.

A door opened and I heard the light steps of the owl as she came over.

“She’s a good kid, Vim,” Lilly said gently as she sat down next to me. Telling me that she had indeed only gone inside as to check on the kid.

“All kids are, usually,” I said as I glanced at the woman who had been a kid herself a long time ago.

She looked mature now. And not just because of all the things she had weathered, or the children she’d given birth to, or the wings she’s lost. She now genuinely looked… content. Which was strange since I knew she was anything but.

Lilly giggled at me. “Let me guess, I hadn’t been one of them?” she asked.

“You’d been a handful, but the good kind. I liked how you always made Celine and the rest so troubled,” I said.

“Did you…? You used to scowl at me when I annoyed them,” she asked, surprised.

“Because I was jealous,” I said.

She scoffed and I heard her nubs of wings beneath her clothes shift. If her wings had still been full and beautiful she likely would have just smacked me with them.

I felt horrible for her, but knew better than to dwell on it. She had lost them a long time ago, after all.

Her ability to overcome her loss of wings only further proved how strong she actually was. How many could lose the freedom of the skies and still continue living afterward…?

I had nothing to compare it to. Maybe the ocean? Would I be able to live on without ever seeing or smelling the ocean again…?

Something told me I could, but that only made me feel less in touch with my own desires and emotions than anything else.

Did that mean I genuinely didn’t love anything enough to prefer death over losing it?

I’d say losing the whole of the Society would do such a thing, but I knew better than to actually claim it aloud. I’d lost something similar to the Society before. I was still here. So that was likely not the truth.

Why was I such a piece of…?

“Vim,” Lilly got my attention and I pulled myself out of my thoughts that had begun to demoralize me.

“Hm?”

“If Porka and the rest won’t take her, I will,” Lilly said to me.

I smiled at her. “Thanks. I’m sure she’ll be fine there though. Porka is a good woman,” I said.

“Feh. She’s too pretty. Pretty people have issues,” Lilly complained.

I chuckled at her. “If Windle heard that he’d be very worried.”

“Windle’s an idiot,” Lilly said with a grin.

Nodding at her, I allowed her to toss aside my attempt at calling her pretty too. After all, Windle had fallen to his knees at the mere sight of her so long ago. She had been that beautiful to him, that lovely.

Plus…

Glancing over at Lilly, I studied the soft smile on her face. She looked happy.

Happy over having met Lomi. Happy over being told that Windle found her pretty. Happy to just be sitting here with me, like this.

She was a good woman. A good person. A wonderful friend.

A trusted companion. One of the few I had left.

“Does Windle know?” I asked her gently.

“Hm…?” Lilly turned to look at me, and then frowned. “Don’t you dare. I know you find it hilarious, but you aren’t the one he dutifully dotes on the moment he realizes I’m pregnant. You have no idea how bad it is,” Lilly warned me.

I chuckled. “I couldn’t imagine being doted on by a man, so no; I have no idea how bad it is,” I said.

“So don’t you dare tell him. I swear I’ll peck out your eyes if you do,” she warned me again.

I nodded. “Okay. I’m glad for you, Lilly. Congratulations,” I said.

“Thanks. I’m hoping it’s a girl now. Lomi is cute.”

Hm… Coming from the woman who had wanted only sons for the longest time, that’s a mighty good thing to hear.

No more sons for wars. How wondrous that was.

Leaning back a little, I smiled at the owl who had once found children annoying… mostly thanks to Merit. “What will her name be? You’re running out of parts of the trees,” I said.

They had named their children stuff like Branch and Leaf, so…

This story has been stolen from Royal Road. If you read it on Amazon, please report it

“Hm… I think I’ll let Windle choose this one. He’s never made a big deal of it, but he’s always been upset I’ve never let him choose their names,” Lilly said.

Oh my. She really was maturing. “That’s mighty nice of you.”

“It is, isn’t it?” Lilly said with a grin.

“Careful though. He might name them something ridiculous,” I warned.

“I know. I’ll make sure he at least chooses something easy to spell,” she agreed.

I chuckled at her. “If Celine heard that she’d be furious,” I said.

“Good.”

Smiling I nodded as I leaned back further… and laid down on my back. The cold balcony felt a little damp, but that wasn’t too surprising. We were leaving winter, but it was still cold and wet.

“As much as I like talking about my family and how much I annoyed Celine… can I ask something, Vim?” Lilly asked as she turned a little, to look at me.

“Hm?”

“That predator. At the Sleepy Artist. Should I check on her occasionally?” she asked.

Ever dutiful. “If you’d like to. I think she’ll be fine though. She is like you, strong in the blood and body… but… well…” I hesitated as I wondered how to phrase it without making Lilly feel a little hurt.

“But?” Lilly asked.

“She’s gentle. She wept as we left. I half expected her to ask to join us,” I said.

“Wept…? Why?” she asked.

“Because Lomi was leaving.”

“Ah… does she like children then?” Lilly wondered.

“Maybe. I watched her for a few weeks while we were there. She’s… happy, and excited to find her place in the Society, but she’s also older than she looks. Like you. She’s mature. Even if she’s got issues or tendencies that we don’t agree with, she’s old and experienced enough to control them. Odds are she’ll spend a few years at the Sleepy Artist and then leave to find somewhere else,” I said.

“Hm… I’ll go check on her occasionally all the same. Maybe she could be a wife for one of my sons,” she said.

I laughed at the idea. “A cat with birds.”

“Oh. Right… hm…” Lilly crossed her arms and I heard her nubs shuffle in thought.

Grinning at that, I nodded. “Go ahead and try. She may be a cat, but she’s a strange one. It might work out.”

“I will. If she works out I’ll be able to get Branch back home.”

“Aren’t you glad he’s a mercenary?” I asked.

“I am. Better that than some stupid merchant or whatever the others are doing. But I’m getting upset. So many children, and not a single grandchild yet. What was the point of giving birth to them? I swear,” She sighed at her children.

Studying the woman who wasn’t being honest with herself, I hoped she and her family continued to grow steadily as it was. They had lost a child already, but in today’s world… for us non-humans… such a thing was rather standard.

Though most of our kind weren’t as steady or stable as Lilly and her family. In fact the only person I really didn’t need to worry over, other than her, was Landi. And that was a funny thought since they were so dissimilar.

“What are you grinning at?” Lilly asked.

“The idea of a kid with wings and cat ears. It’s too bad traits don’t ever mix,” I said.

“Ah… so she had ears? Really? Where?” Lilly asked.

“Top of her head. Like Lomi.”

“Neat. I wonder if they work. Lomi’s seem to not be that effective,” Lilly noted.

“Hers work very well. In fact they work so well I doubt her human ones work at all,” I said. I had noticed how effective they were while studying her.

“Huh… then why have human ones in the first place?” Lilly wondered.

“So that when her children are born without cat ears they can still hear, obviously,” I said.

“Right,” Lilly seemed to find that perfectly reasonable… which was silly.

It wasn’t after all.

“Still… I’ll go meet her later. It’s been awhile since I’ve visited the Sleepy Artist anyway. Maybe I should get them to paint the tree,” Lilly said.

“Would take a lot of brown paint,” I said.

She giggled.

I closed my eyes as the world got quiet for a moment. Although Lilly sat calmly, and quietly, I somehow still heard the sound of rustling feathers… even though she really didn’t have many anymore.

How was it after all this time I could still hear her wings ruffling? With closed eyes I could almost hear them. Their rustling as she folded them. The sound of the feathers against the wood of the balcony, or the brush against her clothes…

How sad. For such a beautiful bird to be without wings any longer.

I hesitated as I realized Windle was the same. Another person of great strength, even if no one else thought so.

After all he had given up the skies for her too.

His dowry to her. His proposal. It had not been a ring… but his wings. He had laid his very own wings on the ground, for her. The sight had stunned me. Shocked me to my core. And had made Lilly furious beyond belief. She would have beaten him to death had I not held her back. It was a good thing he had done it in front of me.

For as much as it had pissed Lilly off and hurt her to see the man she loved tear off his own wings for her, her killing that same man would have hurt her much worse.

Such pure love. Such profound levity of their devotion. So pure and true…

So real…

Could I do something so ridiculous?

I couldn’t imagine it. Why not? Why hadn’t I ever met someone who could make me do such a thing…?

Was it because I was broken? Because I wasn’t human? Because of what my parents had done?

Was it because of how old I was? All the things I’ve done? Was I that callous? That dead inside?

I’d lay down my life in a heartbeat. That was not even a question. I’d suffer for others. I’d done so. If my body didn’t heal scars I’d be so covered in them I’d be more scar than man… so… I had no doubt I could and would go through terrible things for others…

But…

Sitting up, Lilly shifted a little at my quick movement. I took a small breath of cold air and realized the sun was rising.

Glancing down at my hands, I stared at the calloused hands. The fists that have crushed gods and nations alike. That have made them, and brought them low just as easily.

These hands knew pain well. Not only could they grant it, they knew how to endure it.

But pain was not at all a part of the equation.

Pain was not what Windle had gone through.

He had endured not just pain… but despair.

Sacrifice. True sacrifice. For the one he loved.

Have I ever done something so dramatic?

Windle had sacrificed his wings. The skies. For her love. Out of pure love.

To share her life with her, here on the ground. To be equal with her. Truly equal.

I couldn’t think of a single time, or action, that I’ve done which was as momentous as that.

Have I ever sacrificed like that? Truly?

Did I even have anything as desperately important to do such a thing with…?

“Next time stick around a little, Vim. I’ve missed this,” Lilly whispered softly at me.

I glanced up at the brightening morning sky, and nodded. “Sure,” I agreed.

I missed this too… even it made me strangely hurt.

Maybe if I spent more time with these two… I’d learn how to be like them.

It was time Lilly taught me something in exchange for all of the years I’d given her. All the headaches. All the strife I’ve endured and blood I’d spilled for her.

But how could she teach something like that to me? And… even if she could…

Did I really want to learn it…?

Sighing gently, I nodded.

“Sure,” I agreed again. To myself.