Brandy helped me off the wagon gently, and I stepped away so that I’d be out of the way.

Three wagons were lined up in front of the small house and church, and I felt horribly itchy as I stepped farther away so that they could unload themselves and their cargo.

Even if I could help, they wouldn’t let me. It had only been two days since leaving Lumen, and although I was able to walk around… I couldn’t do much else. I felt like I was more bandage than skin, and my right arm was firmly stuck in a sling as to keep it steady. It throbbed as I turned to watch the Clothed Woman talk to Merit.

The three wagons were more full of goods than people. All of the human members who had accompanied us on the ship had remained at the ship, ported at a small town to the north. Lawrence and Pierre had stayed with the ship as well.

No one knew what was happening yet. As we sailed away we saw the large creature collapse and fall into the ocean, but no one had been willing to stick around to see if the thing was dead. Lots of its tentacle things were still flailing around in the sky, so Brandy and the rest decided it was still necessary to leave Lumen. Not to mention they were worried over more creatures appearing, or more enemies.

I couldn’t blame them, but a part of me had wished we had at least waited for Vim and Reatti to return. Hopefully they were fine.

“Why not go rest, Renn?” Jasna said as she stepped past me, carrying a locked box.

She didn’t wait to hear my response, but I knew she wouldn’t have cared for it anyway. Jasna didn’t like me much… yet it still made me smile to hear she worried for me, even if only a little.

Rest? I’d been resting. They had made me lay in that bed on the ship all day, and then the half day it took to get here from the ship I had been sitting on that wagon the entire time.

I did hurt. I was exhausted. But I was tired of sitting and lying down. I wanted to walk around. To talk to people… To do something.

Plus my tail was broken still. It hurt no matter how I was positioned, or what I was doing, but sitting down seemed to make it hurt the most.

Returning my attention to the wagons, I watched as Fly helped Tosh unload more boxes. I wasn’t entirely sure what was in the boxes they were all carrying into the church, but something told me it wasn’t food and supplies. They looked heavy. Fly was struggling with them.

“I’ll be back!” Brandy shouted as she climbed up onto a horse. I stepped forward to ask where she was going but she ushered the horse and off she went.

Watching her head into the forest, I groaned as I realized I was going to have to just accept that I was going to have to… be patient.

I was hurt. Too hurt to be of use, and that meant I had no choice but to just wait and watch.

Reaching up to itch the side of my head, I made sure not to dislodge the bandage still wrapped around my head. It was horribly itchy, but I didn’t think it was because of the wound. The itch felt like it was more so from my ears being bothered by the bandages than anything else.

Stepping over towards the church, I waited until Merit walked back out after carrying a box into it. “Where’s Brandy going, Merit?” I asked her.

“The Bell Church. To let them know what happened, and to see how many we can take there if needed,” Merit said.

Oh. Right. “Women only right?” I asked.

Merit smirked at me. “Men can go there, Renn. They just can’t stay there for a long time. You doing okay?” she asked, changing topics.

I nodded, even though I wasn’t sure if I was or not. Not only did I hurt a lot… I had a horrible feeling that something bad was still happening, and could happen… even though I knew we were now safe. We were far enough away from Lumen that even if that creature still lived, there was no reason to worry over it.

“She doesn’t look fine. Your face is all swollen, Renn,” Gerald said as he passed us. He was carrying a rather small box, but the way he carried it made it seem like it was heavy. Heavier than even the large box Wynn was carrying behind him.

“She smells of blood too,” Wynn said as they both entered the church.

Merit huffed at them.

“Why, Renn, I hope whoever did that to you suffered far worse,” The Clothed Woman stepped over to us, and I noticed the tone in her voice. She meant her words, and likely much more.

“I uh… well… yes. Most did,” I said admittedly.

Merit nodded, proud of herself.

Upon the Clothed Woman’s approach, I noticed her odd smell. For some reason it didn’t bother my nose as badly as it had done when I met her the first time. Maybe it was because I smelled horribly of herbs and bandages.

“Where’s Vim during such a trying time?” The Clothed Woman asked us.

“Still in Lumen, likely,” Merit said.

I nodded, though wondered if he was. If he was that meant he was still fighting that monster, and those who it ruled over… it was hard to believe it would take Vim that long to finish.

Wynn and Gerald stepped out of the church, and I noticed the way they walked past us. Both of the men seemed to try and not look, or get seen, by the Clothed Woman as they passed.

“Still, quite a shock. Were you hurt too Merit? I smell pain from you as well,” the Clothed Woman asked.

Merit pointed at her head. “Cracked my head, yeah.”

The Clothed Woman sighed and shook her head. Her white clothes shuffled as she did. “Really. What was Vim doing? Was anyone else hurt? Is that why Lawrence isn’t here? Is he dead finally?” she asked.

I didn’t like the way she had said that, so kept my mouth shut and let Merit answer. “He’s alive. He and Pierre are with the ship we used, watching over our human members,” Merit said.

The Clothed Woman huffed, and I was glad she didn’t say her thoughts. I knew it was the humans she was currently thinking about… though it was interesting to hear she didn’t seem to like Lawrence.

“And the young bird?” the Clothed woman asked as she turned to look at the wagons. Fly was now on another wagon, the last to be emptied. She and Tosh were handing boxes to the rest, quickly making short work of the cargo.

“Her name is Fly. She’s a new member… She had been a slave to the ones who attacked us,” Merit said.

“I see. It seems you’ve given birth to another thread of fate, Renn, huh?” the Clothed Woman said as she studied Fly.

“I…? Huh?” I tried to think of what to say, and couldn’t. What’d she mean by that? She hadn’t sounded as if she had meant that rudely, in fact she had sounded a little… sad, when she had said it.

“Want something to drink, Renn?” Merit asked with a hurried huff. A glance to her expression told me she wasn’t just asking out of concern, but desire. She either wanted to change the conversation, or leave and step away.

“Sure…” I nodded.

“I’ll be borrowing your kitchen, then,” Merit said as she stepped away from us and headed for the small house.

“Mhm,” the Clothed Woman nodded in a way that told me she didn’t care at all.

Like last time I had been here, it was clear to tell that she didn’t seem to care about worldly possessions at all.

“Thanks, by the way. For letting us rest here,” I said to her.

The Clothed Woman tilted her head at me, and I noted the way her face coverings shifted. Their movement hadn’t just been thanks to the tilt of her head either… Did she have an odd feature on her face? Weird ears maybe? “For the Society, Renn,” she said.

I blinked and then nodded. “For the Society,” I said… then the Clothed Woman turned and walked away. She headed for the wagons, walking slowly.

Watching her go, I wondered how such varied peoples had come together under the banner of the Society. The Clothed Woman obviously held beliefs far different than most… and she even didn’t seem to like several, if not most, of our members. Yet she didn’t hesitate to acknowledge and accept her position in the Society.

And those here, as Vim had mentioned before, didn’t truly acknowledge her either. They didn’t count her among the census for their numbers… yet…

Yet they had come here without a second thought, knowing it would be safe for them to do so.

Magdalena and the Clothed Woman started talking, as Magda unhooked the horses that had been pulling the carts. To let them graze.

“You should rest Renn.”

I stood up straighter and turned to look at Liina. She had just left the church, which meant she had been in there for awhile now. I hadn’t seen her enter it since coming near it. And…

She was looking at me with a worried expression.

“How are you Liina?” I asked back, suddenly very conscious.

This was the first time she had actually spoken to me. On her own accord.

Liina shifted on a heel, and suddenly looked tired. “I… don’t like it here. But it’s better than dying,” she said.

Slowly nodding, I wasn’t sure what to say or think. I knew so little about her. Out of everyone, she and Jasna were the ones I’ve spoken to the least. “Should be able to go to the Bell Church soon, by the sound of it,” I said.

She sighed. “I don’t like it there either… hopefully Vim finishes soon and we can go home,” she said.

Oh…?

Was it because Lumen was their home… or was there something wrong with the Bell Church too? Maybe it was like here, with inhabitants that others were uncomfortable around.

Wynn walked past, carrying one of the last boxes. He had an odd smile on his face, as if happy and content to be doing manual labor.

“This is going to suck. Jasna and Tosh snore like crazy,” Liina groaned.

“They do!” Wynn shouted from within the church, laughing.

Huh? Oh…

Stepping past Liina as to peer into the church, since now there wasn’t a bunch of people coming and going from it… I sure enough found that several of the pews were now moved around. They were lined up in rows along the walls, forming makeshift beds.

Right. Small house. Not enough beds…

It was a little odd to realize that we were all going to sleep together in the same room. I hadn’t done such a thing since… well…

“Tosh snoring makes sense, but Jasna too?” I asked Liina.

Wynn chuckled a laugh as Liina smiled at me. “Jasna snores the worst. The odd thing is Tosh hadn’t snored when he was… well…” Liina glanced at the wagons, to the ones we were speaking about. Most were now done working, and all standing together around the Clothed Woman and talking. Likely telling her all about what had happened, and how and why. Fly was standing near Sofia, a little closely. Had she grown close to her?

“He hadn’t snored when broken?” I asked. That was odd.

“Weird isn’t it? It’s like he really had become someone different,” Liina said.

It was weird.

“Liina help me with these,” Wynn said from within the church.

Liina sighed as she went to help him out. I stepped aside as she did, and wished Wynn hadn’t said anything… Liina and I had just been having an actual conversation. One without any weird feelings, or a strange atmosphere.

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Oh well… maybe there would be more to come.

Maybe Liina had lowered her guard around me, and started to accept me now that… well…

Glancing down at my bandaged arm in the sling, and the rest of my body, I wondered if maybe it was the injuries. Maybe she knew now that I was really a member of the Society, and wasn’t dangerous now.

If I’d suffer like this for Fly, someone who hadn’t even really been a member yet… Then obviously I couldn’t be that bad.

Smiling softly at my thoughts, I turned away and headed for the house. To find Merit. She had likely gone to make drinks out of her simple desire to get away from the Clothed Woman, but I knew she would still be actually making them. I was thirsty.

“Renn!”

I slowed as Fly ran up to me. She skidded to a stop right next to me, and I knew it was because she had originally planned to tackle me in a hug. Yet had stopped upon realizing that it would probably hurt me.

Reaching out, I wrapped my left arm around her shoulders and hugged her close. “How are you Fly?” I asked.

“Great! I’ve never been out of the city before so this is really interesting! There’s a lake and river nearby I guess, I want to go see them,” she said, speaking quickly.

“Well, maybe soon. I’ll come with you,” I said. A lake and river did sound neat.

She nodded, happy, and wrapped her arms around my waist. She squeezed me gently, as if still afraid to touch me, and then beamed a smile up at me.

Smiling down at the young bird, I felt a little… relieved. I was glad she was okay. Fly had been beaten a little before being thrown into the pit, with me, but not as badly as me. And since leaving Lumen, all of her fear of her Master’s wrath had seemed to disappear completely. Maybe seeing it collapse had been the reason.

Fly then looked around, and then after confirming we were a ways away she tugged me away closer to the house. I obliged her and once we were far enough away that she felt comfortable she tugged on my shirt to get me to kneel a little. Bending down to hear her whisper, I put an ear closer to her. “What’s that smell, Renn?” Fly worriedly asked.

“Ah… that’s her. The Clothed Woman. I’m… not sure what it is. But please be kind and don’t say anything,” I said to her.

“Huh…” Fly nodded as she glanced around me to the one in question. She was still with the rest of the group, talking happily.

“It fades after a bit,” I said gently.

“Hope so… I’m used to bad smells, Renn, but this is strange. It makes my nose itch,” she said.

Right. Living in a sewer.

“She’s nice,” I said.

“To some.”

Fly and I startled, and looked up at Merit. She was leaning out of a window, smiling at us.

“Merit!” Fly happily greeted her, as if it’d been a long time since the two had seen each other. Fly released me from her little hug, and hurried up to the window as to stare up at Merit. “What’re you doing?” Fly asked.

She sounded so curious. She really was just a child. I wonder if being a bird also made her act a little more… well…

The way she acted.

“Making tea for everyone,” Merit said.

“Oh… that water stuff,” Fly sighed.

“You don’t like tea?” I asked. That was interesting. She seemed excited to drink it whenever I had seen her drink it.

“It’s not… bad… I guess,” Fly mumbled, and I realized she was now worried she was being rude.

Merit chuckled as she leaned away from the window to head back into the house, likely to finish her tea.

“Come on,” I patted Fly on the shoulder and headed for the door. Fly happily joined me as we entered the house.

“Hm…” Fly studied the house as I headed for the kitchen. It was a little… odd to be back here already. I had figured it’d be years and years before I’d be back.

Passing the table in the dining room, I smiled as I remembered the story behind it. “Do you know why Vim broke her table, Merit? They wouldn’t tell me the reason he had done so,” I asked Merit as I found her in the kitchen. She was standing before a stove, with two large kettles on the surface of the stove. A small fire was burning in the stove’s furnace area, hidden by the metal grate.

“He broke a table?” Merit frowned as she looked at me.

I nodded as Fly hurried into the kitchen. Her head was turning every which way as she studied the place. “I guess he… broke the table. Either by throwing someone onto it, or the table onto them. I was wondering if you knew who it was he had done such a thing to and why,” I said.

“No idea… How long ago was that?” Merit asked.

“Not sure. Last few visits, I think they said…”

“Oh!” Fly happily opened a cabinet, and smirked at the contents. Some dried meat.

“Don’t eat those Fly,” Merit said coldly.

Fly stopped a moment from grabbing one, and then turned and looked at us. She lowered her arm slowly and smiled in a way that told me she wasn’t upset at being told not to, but rather upset at herself. She realized she had been rude.

“I didn’t stop you because they’re not yours. I stopped you because you shouldn’t eat those. We brought food with us, we’ll cook some soon just wait,” Merit said.

“Huh? It’s just dried meat isn’t it?” I asked as I stepped over to Fly to see it. It might even be some of the meat that Vim and I had prepared for her while we had been here.

“It is dried meat… but not the kind we should be eating, Renn,” Merit said softly.

“Why?” Fly asked as she studied the meat alongside me.

It honestly didn’t look like anything strange.

“Well…” Merit seemed about to tell us, but one of the kettles started to whistle. She turned her attention on it, and I could tell she was a little relieved it had been able to distract her.

“That’s human meat, Fly. Not something we should eat willingly.”

Closing my eyes, I shivered at the cold realization as Herra walked into the kitchen.

“Human…” Fly whispered, and then I heard her slowly close the cabinet.

“What kind of tea is that, Merit?” Herra asked.

I ignored their light conversation as I tried to think of the meat I had helped Vim prepare. Had that been human meat too? Surely not. It had to have been from a deer or something… right…?

“Renn…” Fly whispered for my attention, and grabbed my shirt. I opened my eyes to look at the young bird who oddly didn’t look too bothered at all.

“You feeling okay Renn? You look sick,” Herra asked, likely for the same reason that Fly was looking at me with concern.

“Yea… I might need to sit down,” I said honestly.

“Oh! Here…!” Fly hurriedly tugged me, by pulling my shirt, over to the table. She pulled a chair out for me, which I accepted.

She happily pulled her own chair out and sat in it too, smiling as she got comfortable. She was enjoying herself.

In fact she didn’t look like she had even registered Herra’s words, or the meaning behind them.

Was that just because she was young… or…

A familiar cup was held out for me, and I smiled at Herra as I took it from her. “Thanks,” I said.

“Don’t let it bother you Renn. If you do you’ll only hate her, and she doesn’t deserve it,” Herra said gently.

I nodded, and felt horrible. So it had been obvious.

“She can hate her if she wants, Herra. Don’t force your religion on everyone else,” Merit grumbled.

“That’s not my religion speaking, Merit. It’s me,” Herra said back.

“What’s a religion?” Fly asked as Herra went to hand her a cup too.

I noted Herra’s hesitation as she put the cup into Fly’s hands. Fly hesitated too, since Herra hadn’t let go of her cup yet.

“I’ll explain it to you later,” Merit said swiftly.

“No! You’ll ruin her!” Herra turned to face Merit.

“Oh? And you wouldn’t?” Merit said back.

Frowning at the two who were now standing face to face… or well, somewhat. Merit was too short to do so. I wondered if the two didn’t like each other. They looked about ready to start screaming at each other.

“Alright, enough. Herra come help us cook!” Gerald shouted from outside. Their arguing had been audible to even those outside. It was interesting that Gerald sounded so… used to it. He had yelled like a father would to his children.

While I studied Herra and Merit, who were glaring at each other… Fly sipped her tea loudly.

“Hmph. Thanks for the tea!” Herra said as she turned to leave. She wasn’t even carrying a cup.

“Enjoy it! It’s tasty!” Merit shouted at her as she left.

Merit returned to the kitchen, mumbling angrily as she went to make more tea.

Turning away, back to Fly… I frowned as I watched Fly happily sip her tea… seemingly unbothered by what had just happened.

She noticed my staring and tilted her head at me. Her feathers perked up a little in the process, making her look a little odd.

“Used to violence, aren’t you?” I asked her.

“That was violent?” she asked, glancing around to see if maybe she had missed something.

“Well… no…” I admitted.

Maybe I was just too sensitive.

“Renn’s a gentle soul, Fly,” Merit said.

“She is gentle, but what’s a soul? I thought you were a cat,” Fly said as she stared into her cup. Maybe it was empty.

I sighed as I took a drink myself, as to stop myself from saying anything stupid.

After all… I wasn’t entirely sure myself what a soul was either.

“Something Vim doesn’t have,” Merit said happily.

Fly frowned. “Think Vim’s okay?” she asked, obviously remembering him thanks to Merit’s comment.

“He’s fine. And will be. That man couldn’t die even if he wanted to,” Merit said.

Hopefully she was right.

“He’s a monster,” Fly complained.

“Right! I’m glad you get it,” Merit agreed.

Sighing at them, I glanced out the nearby window. The one that Merit had used earlier. Thru it I could see everyone outside. They were setting up what looked to be a camp, and a fire, not far from the wagons. So they were going to cook outside, not in the house. It made sense, since there was so many of us. This house barely fit two or three people, let alone…

I blinked as I realized how few of us were here.

Brandy had just left. Vim and Reatti had been left at Lumen. Lawrence and Pierre were at the boat… Brom was…

Fly was here now, a new member… but…

Plus we were lacking our human members. Only Lamp had really ever gone into the Society Houses, but… well…

Maybe I was just used to it being noisier.

“How long do you think we’ll be here, Merit?” I asked my friend as she stepped out of the kitchen. She brought the kettle over, to refill Fly’s cup. I hadn’t needed more yet.

“Who knows? Until Vim and the rest confirm it’s safe to go back, at least,” Merit said.

Shifting in my seat I tried to ignore the throbbing in my tail. It hurt the worst out of all my aches and pains.

Confirms it is safe.

That meant Vim would have to kill all the threats, and then assess the city. Would he make us all wait until he tracked down all of Fly’s entourage?

How many had there been? Dozens at least… but Merit and Brom had… killed…

Thinking of Brom hurt, and I wished I hadn’t.

“Think Reatti’s okay?” I asked softly.

“I don’t know, Renn,” Merit answered just as softly.

Taking a deep breath, I was glad I didn’t start crying. I felt horrible.

Her scream before running off had been… well…

It haunted me. And I knew it would for a long time.

Sometimes I wished I couldn’t remember things so clearly.

Fly said nothing, but I couldn’t blame the poor girl. She looked like how I felt. Responsible.

It wasn’t her fault though. It was mine.

No matter what anyone said.

Brom died protecting me. Because I had been in danger. Not only had he pushed me out of the way of that boulder… I was the reason he was even in such a situation in the first place.

He should have been here too. With Reatti. They should be bickering right now. Maybe arguing over who gets which bed.

I never even got to thank him for sparring with me. Or apologize for hurting him.

Merit sighed as she sat down next to me. She sipped her own tea for a moment, before turning to glare at me. “Stop being so emotional Renn. It’s not fair to the rest of us,” she said.

Hesitating, I turned my cup a little as if it was too hot to hold. “Am I being emotional?” I asked her.

“You are…. Well… not as bad as you could be, I guess. I’m not saying to not… blame yourself a little. I blame myself too. But don’t let it stop you from living, Renn. Don’t let it break you. Don’t become like Tosh. Don’t run. Don’t hide. We deserve better,” Merit said.

We deserve better.

Looking at her, then at Fly… I wondered if the young girl had any understanding of what was happening. She looked confused and lost, yet not willing to let it bother her. She had a soft smile on her face, even if unsure of herself.

Glancing back out the window, at the crowd out there now all around a large fire… and what looked to be a huge pot; I took a deep breath and sighed.

Yes. She was right. Of course she was.

Tosh being broken for so long had not just been horrible for him… it had been rude to those around him. Those who he had left behind. Who he had ignored. His friends, like Vim… who had gone out of their way to walk on eggshells with him. Who had supported him, without anything in return. For over a hundred years he had been supported, without a question. A hundred years.

They had waited a hundred years, suffering without him.

His weakness, if that was what it should be called, hadn’t just hurt him. It had hurt everyone else.

Merit was right. We deserved better. Even if one had every right to cry, wallow and grieve… if we gave in to such feelings, there’d be no end to it.

Sofia, who lost all her children.

Tosh who had broken over something horrendous.

Reatti who had ran away.

I knew each and every one of them had their own stories. Their own pains and sorrows.

Every single member had such failures. Every one of us had our own injuries, even if no longer visible.

Just like me.

Yet… we had to laugh. To stay strong. To keep living.

Even if it hurt. Especially if it hurt.

If I broke now, even if momentarily… it wasn’t fair to them. They, who had known Brom and Reatti much longer, yet hadn’t broken. Fly, who had just lost everything she knew. Even the ones she had been trying to save. I had never got to meet, or learn the names of the other children she had wanted to bring with her… Hopefully they hadn’t… died… or been killed by Vim.

“Stand tall,” I said softly… finally understanding what Vim meant all along.

“Stand tall,” Merit agreed.

“I’m not very tall, though?” Fly said.

“Me either,” Merit said.

“I’m not either if you take away my ears,” I said.

“They are kind of big,” Fly said.

My ears fluttered at her comment. So they were!

Merit chuckled, and for a tiny little moment… I felt normal. As if I wasn’t hurt. As if something horrible hadn’t just happened.

As if everything was fine and the world was safe and warm…

Hopefully this time, this feeling lasted… longer than the last few times.

At least until Vim gets back. So once the happy moment did break, he’d be able to protect me and the rest from whatever does it.