Renn’s scent still lingered strongly in her room.
Which really shouldn’t be that surprising. After all she’s only been gone a little over a dozen days, and she’d been sleeping and staying in this room for months. Add that to my ability to smell stuff so well and her natural scent being… well… a little stronger than a normal creature’s, being what she was, such a thing really shouldn’t surprise me.
Yet it did all the same.
It was about time for dinner. Which told me I’d hear the answer soon… or at least the general consensus. They might not come to a final vote just yet… this was important, in its own way. And they weren’t just voting on Renn, either.
I had closed Renn’s room's windows, and the curtains. The storm was still here and roaring strong, and it was accompanied by lightning. I wasn’t in the mood for the room to be lit up again and again incessantly. The two candles I had lit illuminated the room well enough.
Honestly I wanted to just sit in the dark, in silence… but I knew better than to let myself indulge in such a thing.
Most of my day had been spent dealing with Thraxton’s family. Thraxton himself I had been able to entrust Brandy and Gerald and the rest to, so they could negotiate the contract between the Animalia Company and Lumen. Yet because of the precarious nature of it, Brandy and the rest didn’t want Thraxton’s children or wife involved. I couldn’t blame them, but it wasn’t like they didn’t know we were… well… special.
Luckily I had been able to let a few of the other members deal with them, but I still ended up spending several hours today with Thraxton’s wife and children. They were honestly… typical noble types, those who had been sheltered and pampered most of their lives, but they weren’t bad people. A little strange, but not the type of high-class nobles I usually found myself detesting.
Really they had been fine. I was just… not in the mood to deal with such people or things. Not in the mood at all.
Humans, especially human children, always treated me like some kind of special existence when they learned what I was. I’ve long since grown to not get annoyed over such treatment or their unrelenting questions, but right now I was far from the calm and even-natured man I usually was.
My mood was sour and I was angry… and it honestly wasn’t fair to the rest of the world that I was in such a bad mood.
People usually got hurt or died when I was like this, so I needed to be careful.
Thus my hiding in Renn’s room… and my attempts to not get involved with Thraxton, his family, or the cleanup of Lumen and that creature’s corpse.
I sighed as I leaned forward, to rest on the top of the chair’s backrest. I was sitting on it the wrong way, but it was more comfortable for me to do so. The shape of the chair was just… a little odd. The kind of odd that made one feel just uncomfortable enough to notice, yet not have an actual reason to give for it.
The door to Renn’s room was open, but only so that I could hear any voices or footsteps to let me know that the rest of the Society had finished their meeting. I wasn’t really… restless or too worried over their vote, but at the same time I had to admit I wanted to hear the results.
I had a feeling as to what they would vote to do with Renn, but I still wasn’t sure if I should get upset over it or not.
Scratching the spot behind my ear, I studied the large armoire not too far from me. It was still full of Renn’s clothes, and likely the real reason her room still smelled so much like her. Some of the stuff hanging in there and upon the large open doors of the thing was stuff she’s worn nearly every day for over a year. While traveling, on top of it all.
Speaking of scents… Fly had mentioned many times that Renn had smelled like her master.
Which was very strange, since she didn’t smell like those things at all.
Renn’s smell was one I’d notice anywhere. For one reason or another, it was something I could notice in a very crowded and smelly room. So I knew the smell well. Or at least, thought I did.
Those flower like creatures had smelled of iron and the sea. And not just because I had crushed their hearts and gotten stained by their ink-like blood.
Renn didn’t smell like those things at all.
The only thing I could think of was Fly’s nose was either malfunctioning or just tuned differently… or the smell I knew and had smelled during my battles with their master, and the larger one, was not the smell it usually gave off.
Maybe the smell I knew was simply because I had attacked the thing. Maybe during moments of stress and anger, it had stunk in a different way.
Or maybe the things I smelled was completely different than everyone else, to such a degree as that. Maybe Renn really had smelled like those creatures to Fly and the others.
Not too unbelievable… but…
Then the door slammed closed behind me.
Turning slowly, I frowned as I watched Merit walk into the room… with her head hung low.
Her thick hair hid most of her face from view, but the sounds she was making made it clear well enough what had happened… and why Merit had slammed the door in anger.
Staying seated I watched Merit walk up to me… and then for a tiny moment I expected her to reach out, maybe to wrap me in a hug as to electrocute me, or hit me… but instead she plopped down onto the ground. She heaved a sob, curling up into a ball right in front of where I sat.
A little disturbed, I took a deep breath and hoped that her sobbing was indeed only because of the vote… and not because something else had happened.
“Merit…?” I asked gently, and slowly turned a little just in case I needed to actually help her in some way. She didn’t look hurt, but one never could tell sometimes.
Merit continued to sob, and shook her head slowly. Her heavy hair moved oddly thanks to the way she was curled up on the ground. She was kneeling, yet not… almost as if she was half on her belly. Surely that was uncomfortable? Renn’s room had a rug, but it was a thin one. One more for decoration than comfort.
“They voted no,” Merit finally was able to say, yet did so through her sobs.
No.
I took a deep breath, and was a little stunned. And not because I had just been told that Renn was no longer allowed to stay and live here.
I had expected such a result… so why had it nearly knocked the wind out of me?
“She’s not banished, but she can’t live here. Can’t stay here, unless she’s with you,” Merit said quickly, through clenched teeth.
I noted her anger, and focused on it. Trying to relate to her was better than the weird feeling in the pit of my stomach right now. I wanted to ignore that.
“It is likely she would not have stayed anyway, Merit,” I said gently.
“Her heart will break…!” Merit shouted, seemingly at herself as much as me.
Nodding… I sighed as I shook my head. “It will.”
“Broke mine already too…! I can’t believe this, Vim!” Merit finally looked upward, but stayed on the ground. The sight of her staring up at me with such a distraught look reminded me of the long past. Of the day I had returned to find her in that cemetery. Surrounded by the graves of her friends. “What about me then, Vim? What about me! How many died because of me! Not just because I was there, either… but by my very own hands!” Merit’s shouting grew in volume as she finally looked away from me, as to glare at the tiny fists shaking violently on the ground beneath her. They were very pale thanks to how tightly she was squeezing her fists.
Thankfully Merit’s attention remained on her tiny fists… as I smiled at her.
How sweet of you, Merit. To care for Renn so deeply in such a way. To where you’d voice your own deepest fears and concerns so easily.
“Want to know something horrible…? A part of me had wanted her to get denied… when we first got here. So far Renn’s really not been denied or hated by anyone in our Society. Other than Silkie at Tor’s village, but that hadn’t been the same. I wanted for her to realize she needed to find somewhere to stay and live, since it was so rare and hard to find such a home. I wanted her to learn the harsh reality of our Society, before it was too late,” I said softly.
“You’re a heartless bastard,” Merit’s voice was as thick of disgust as her hair.
I nodded. “I am.”
“I can’t believe this Vim, I don’t even know what to say,” Merit said as she lowered her head to the ground, placing it on her shaking fists.
Merit returned to sobbing for a moment, yet this time it was joined by tiny little sparks. They shot out from around her shaking body, most of them concentrated around her flocks of hair. A few of the sparks danced out and connected with the rug and floor, but others simply sparked upward into the air and disappeared.
Keeping a close eye on the tiny woman in front of me, and her sparks, I sighed as gently and quietly as possible. I didn’t want her venting her anger on me. At least not if I could help it. Her shocks could never kill me, or cause any real harm, but they were annoying. When she really went at it, with actual intent, she could do enough damage that I’d have numb limbs for weeks. Or even worse, a numb tongue. It made eating and drinking so damned difficult.
You might be reading a stolen copy. Visit Royal Road for the authentic version.
“Maybe in time they’ll come around… maybe they just need time,” I said gently. More so for her than my own self.
“Feh,” she made a noise as she cried. At least some of her sparking had died down.
“Did… did anyone vote yes Merit?” I asked carefully.
Merit shook her head. “Just me and Tosh.”
“Lawrence voted no?” I asked. That was concerning. Very concerning.
She shook her head, and more sparks danced because of it. She looked up at me as she sniffed. “He didn’t vote. He chose to let the rest of us decide her fate. That’s just him being an ass and not picking sides, like you,” she scowled as she said to me.
Great, was her venting an inevitability? Just great. It’s been years since she last shocked me, but I shouldn’t be surprised it was happening again.
“Still… I’m surprised. Lawrence had only good things to say about her, and he’s wiser than to judge Renn in such a way,” I said. Lawrence was genuinely one of our brighter members, even if he wouldn’t ever use his intelligence any more than necessary.
“Reatti didn’t vote either,” Merit then said.
“She’s not back yet,” I said. Wasn’t that obvious?
Merit shook her head as she sat up a little more. She looked very childish, sitting with her legs sprawled and a snot covered face. Tiny blue sparks danced along the ends of her thick locks as they swayed thanks to her head’s movement. “She gave Brandy her vote before we left. She believes she doesn’t have a right to vote, because of what happened. I think she feels bad for hating Renn, and so chose not to voice her opinion out of concern over it,” Merit said.
Interesting. Based off the conversations the two of us had before she left to let them know it was safe to return, I had expected her to be very vocal and adamant about her feelings and expectations.
She’d not attack Renn, but that didn’t mean she had to pretend she didn’t hate her.
“I’m sickened Vim. People I’ve known for years. People I thought were better than this. I can’t believe this at all,” Merit said.
I blinked at the fury in her eyes. That wasn’t good… I needed Merit here. Especially now that Brom was gone. With him gone, and Reatti… well… not entirely trustworthy now, she was the main line of defense for this place.
We couldn’t afford Merit to leave or hate this place. Not yet anyway.
“Most of those here are feeble beings, Merit. You know this well,” I said softly.
“Still!”
I shook my head. “And most don’t actually know what you did Merit. They might know the stories, or rumors, but hearing of something and seeing it are two different things. You know that well,” I said.
Merit’s face scrunched up, and I knew it was because she didn’t like what I was saying at all. Especially more so because I was right.
She shook her head lightly as she took a deep, trembling, breath. “They’re cowards. Too weak to banish her. Too weak to let her stay here,” she whispered.
“That may be. Yet such is the Society. At least one of its many flaws. A flaw I must defend just as strongly as all the positives,” I said.
“I hate your unwilling attitude,” she scorned me.
“I know. Many do,” I accepted it.
She sniffed and finally went to wiping her face clean. She wore a long sleeve shirt… which very quickly the sleeves were becoming a mess as she used them to wipe her face.
It was a little surprising she was calming down already. Usually by now she’d get angry and attack me. Either Merit was maturing, or what just happened… hurt her heart and soul far deeper than the other events.
Which shouldn’t be possible. Yet all the same, maybe it was.
Maybe in her older age such events were more impactful to her. Maybe it was something deeper.
“Renn will cry. Yet she will survive. She’ll… stumble, that’s all,” I said as I glanced at the painting of my friends.
Merit also glanced at it, and she actually smiled. Seemed her old friend’s face, and his daughter, was able to push aside the sorrow if even for just a moment.
“Right… I hope you’re right Vim. I really do. I don’t care what they all say or think, Renn is… important. Valuable. And not just to our Society either,” Merit said.
I frowned at the way she had said that. Did she mean in the sense of the grand-scale of the world… or…?
She nodded. “I mean it. We need those like her, to protect and watch over those no one else would,” she said.
Ah. She meant Renn’s personality. Her gentle side, combined with her predator willingness to do what most wouldn’t dream of.
“To a point, I agree,” I nodded.
“You better. Surely you realize it too? Isn’t that why you like her so much?” Merit asked.
Was it? Honestly I couldn’t really pinpoint a singular main reason why I found Renn to be so favorable… but…
After a few moments of thought I nodded. “Yes. I guess I do like that about her, yes,” I admitted.
“Good. If you had tried to avoid that topic or make a joke I was going to shock you,” Merit said.
Wonderful.
“Don’t let your disgust form into hate, Merit. Look at all of those we’ve lost in such a way,” I said to her carefully.
Merit’s face scrunched up as she likely remembered each and every one I was speaking of. “I know, Vim. I know. But right now I just… need to cry. And hide. I think I’m going to hide in my room for the next few days,” she said.
“Nothing wrong with that.”
“Yes there is. But shut up,” Merit said.
Smiling at her, I wondered if she even realized how… different she was.
“You used to be far more vocal. You’ve become very meek,” I said.
“I know. What’s wrong with me? Am I getting old?” Merit actually chuckled as she nodded, agreeing with me.
“Or your rebellious years are just finally behind you. I’m proud of you, Merit,” I said.
She shifted on a heel and glared at me from the corner of her eyes. “Sounds cheesy coming from you, but I guess I’ll just accept it.”
Shrugging at her, I wondered what her old friends would have said of her. The ones I hadn’t been able to save in time. Those who had been with her in the south, trying to form that kingdom.
It was sad that I really didn’t remember most of them. I could recall some faces, some memories… a few smells and smiles. Yet…
Only a few names came to mind. And I wasn’t really sure on how accurate some of my memories were about them.
I should have spent more time with them, in that kingdom. Maybe if I had…
“Tosh is upset too, but he still thinks she’s your wife. He spent half the debate trying to understand why we were even voting on such a thing,” Merit brought up Tosh.
“Oh? Oh… right… He might realize he made a mistake soon because of this. Though by now he should be fine. I don’t see how him realizing she’s not actually my wife could make him break again, so there’s no need for it. The danger of such a thing should be mostly gone by now,” I said.
“Poor Renn. Not only banished, now she won’t even be able to pretend,” Merit said softly.
“A poor joke. She didn’t really play along anyway, it made her embarrassed,” I said. The few times I had seen Tosh and Renn spend time together… she had acted a little shy, as if unsure of what to say or do. She was too worried about saying the wrong thing, in the wrong way, to make him misunderstand and hurt his head again. Too gentle to correct him, yet at the same time too gentle to let his little misunderstanding be used to further her own desires.
I could think of quite a few people who would have overplayed it, on purpose. Renn had done the opposite.
“Herra said you’re taking her home,” Merit then said.
I nodded. “Yes. Hopefully soon… I need to get out of here before Brandy or Gerald make me get too involved in all this stupid political bullshit,” I said.
Merit smirked at me. “Funny. They had mentioned they were going to have you do a few things during the meeting.”
Shaking my head I waved Merit and the knowledge away. “Please,” I begged her not to continue. Right now thinking about all that was the last thing I wanted to do.
Merit chuckled and sniffed as she returned her attention to the painting. She stepped over to it, and reached up as to grab it. She had to stand on the tips of her toes and she still barely reached it.
“Renn said I could have these. I don’t really want the one with the Epoch cross, but I’ll take it all the same,” Merit said as she lifted the painting off the easel.
“Did she?” I asked. That was very interesting.
Merit nodded as she stared as if entranced at the painting of Rungle and Stumble. “She knows she can’t travel with them. If she ever paints more, or ones you don’t want others to know of, send them to me. I’ll take care of them for her,” Merit said.
“That’s kind of you,” I said.
She nodded as she smiled at the painting.
Hm…
“Where will you hang it?” I asked.
“For now my room. If I start getting a bunch… well… I’ll figure it out then. For now though just in my room,” she said with a nod.
I frowned. “Not going to share?” I asked.
Merit finally looked away from the painting, and only to glare at me. “Why would I? Few here knew them, and the other few who did… well… No. They were my friends, not theirs,” Merit said coldly.
Something told me the recent events, namely the vote concerning Renn, was the main reason she said such a thing.
“Well… may as well take them now then,” I said as I stood from my chair. I stepped past Merit as to grab the painting of the Epoch village.
“I should wait until she’s back,” Merit complained a little, but not too fiercely. She didn’t have the sharp bite in her tone she normally did. She actually sounded… kind of nice the way she was now. It was too bad she had to endure sorrow to such a deep degree to become so gentle and soft spoken.
“Nonsense. Plus… what if someone comes in here before she gets back?” I said.
Merit frowned, and I knew it was because she was about to argue with me. Someone coming into another’s room? Without permission? It was unheard of in the Society.
Yet… right now…
She finally nodded, as she too must have come to the same conclusion as me.
Yes. Right now someone would.
Because even though they hadn’t banished Renn… she was now in their minds, not a member.
Not a real one. Not a trusted one.
Merit sniffed again, and I groaned a little. A little too loudly, because she noticed and immediately glared at me… and sparked.
Woops.
“Come on. Let’s take them to your room… before I burn them again,” I said, as I kept a close eye on her hands. They were on the side of the cloth painting, holding it, and so far no sparks had jumped out from them… but…
“Hmph,” Merit huffed at me as she nodded… but paused before stepping towards the door.
“Love her, Vim. Be gentle with her. More gentle than you’ve ever been with anyone,” Merit said.
“That’s how this all came to be in the first place, Merit,” I whispered to her.
Her tiny shoulders hunched upward, and she looked about to protest… but she instead slouched her shoulders and looked down… away from me.
Following her out of Renn’s room, I sighed as we headed for hers.
Gentle…
Merit sniffed and made noises all the way to her room, and thankfully we weren’t noticed or bothered. I could hear voices far beneath us, likely near the kitchens. Their voting was done, now they’d all eat and be festive. To pretend they hadn’t just done something horrible, they’d act as if they accomplished something astounding.
Reaching Merit’s room, I patiently waited as she opened the door and stepped into her room.
I stayed outside; even though I knew she’d not yell or attack me for entering. Merit didn’t like entering other people’s rooms, but didn’t really mind anyone entering hers. Yet right now… right now…
Merit took more than a few moments before returning and taking the painting from me. Before I let go of it though, I nodded down to the red-eyed Merit.
“I’ll try, Merit. I’ll try,” I promised her.
The way her eyes glared at me as she nodded… told me she’d hold me to that promise.