Handing Vim another board, I watched the way he smoothly went to cutting the board into shape.

The wood shavings from his scraping fell onto his lap, and to the floor around him. I liked the way his hands and fingers moved so… slowly, even as they worked quickly. It was obvious how skilled Vim was even to my eyes. He was shaping the wooden board perfectly, and sure enough after a few moments… he put it into its place. The board slid perfectly between the others, sliding into place with such precision Vim didn’t even need to hold it to nail it in place.

“Could you make a whole ship, Vim?” I asked him.

He nodded as he plucked a few more nails from his mouth, and finished hammering them into place.

“Why don’t you have a ship yourself then?” little Rosie asked him.

“Because then I’d never leave the sea, and I can’t do that,” Vim said plainly as he waited for me to hand him the next board.

Giving the next board to Rosie, who smiled happily as she handed it off to Vim, I noted the way his eyes lingered on her as he took it from her.

He really didn’t like her, it seemed.

I wonder why. He was usually so even-natured with children… and not just the children of our kind. I’d seen him interact with many human children during our travels, and I’d never seen him so bothered before.

Though… it might not really be Rosie herself that was bothering him…

Vim sighed as he went to scraping the board with his little steel knife. The thing gleamed in the lamplight, and it kept Rosie’s attention as if it was a precious jewel.

No… he wasn’t angry, or bothered by Rosie. Not in the way I was thinking.

He was simply… annoyed. Upset.

Tired.

“Rosie, you still in there girl?” Roslyn asked from the other side of the wall.

“Yes Mom!” Rosie jumped at her mom’s voice, hurrying around me and the large pillar of wood.

Watching her, I stepped around the pillar as to keep an eye on her. She ran up to the weird hole in the wall, that we used to enter and exit this room. It was in the middle of a weirdly thin wall, and was high enough off the floor that Rosie was just barely able to see over it. The thing was more a window than a door, to be honest.

Roslyn’s hand entered the room, passing the hole, and she roughly brushed her daughter’s head. Ruffling her hair, and making the little girl giggle.

I smiled at the sight. Roslyn was… a little stern with the girl, but moments like this showed the truth. She loved her. She was a good mother.

I was jealous.

“Come on. It’s time you helped with your chores,” Roslyn said as she reached in as to lift Rosie out of the room and through the hole.

“But mom,” Rosie complained, but wasn’t able to do it for long. Her mother whispered something to her, and the girl giggled and ran off. Her tiny footsteps were audible even as she ran up the stairs, especially since the wood she ran on was moist and made odd sounds.

They, or rather we, had gotten most of the water out of the bottom of the ship… but a tiny layer remained. And a lot had seemingly soaked into the wood too, surprisingly.

Roslyn leaned into the hole, resting on the bottom section as she smiled at me. “How’s it going Renn?” she asked.

Glancing behind me, at Vim who sat before the hole he was messing with… I smiled at the lack of sunlight peering in anymore. “I think he’s almost done, actually. It doesn’t look bad at all,” I said.

“Oh? I’m getting very jealous, Renn. It’s not fair you get such a handy man all to yourself,” she teased me.

“If you had any idea how much I actually have to share him, you’d not be saying such a thing,” I said with a sigh.

Roslyn giggled as she rolled forward, and slipped through the hole and entered the room. The already crowded room… became a little more cramped as I stepped back to let her walk over and see Vim’s handiwork.

“Oh my. You… need to talk more confidently Renn. That’s far better than I was expecting, be more proud of your man’s work,” Roslyn praised Vim’s work, and I stuck my chest out more as I nodded at the compliment.

Hearing Vim get such a compliment felt good.

“This is still just a temporary measure. Your hull is decaying. It’s to the point that I don’t think even constant maintenance will do any good. You have only a few years at best before another hole opens up,” Vim said as he went to hammering another board into place.

“If we can get even a few more months out of this thing, that’s enough,” Roslyn said softly.

I wanted to ask why she believed with such confidence that all would be well if they only lasted a few more months… but I didn’t… because I kind of knew why.

She didn’t actually have a solution, or a plan. A few more months for her were just that desperate of a hope. Something that she didn’t take for granted.

Another part of me wanted to ask Vim why he couldn’t… just fix it. But I knew it wasn’t that he couldn’t, but rather that he simply wouldn’t.

It would take too long, likely. Too long for him to comfortably allow. He didn’t mind spending a little time helping, especially since we were still sailing along the river… even if slowly.

An odd silence filled the tiny room as Vim hammered away. I noted the weird dull thumps his hammer made. They sounded… heavy, but not. He was obviously not putting much strength into the hammering.

“The other holes can just be patched normally. They’re all well above the waterline,” Vim then explained.

Roslyn nodded. “Thank you for checking them, too,” she said.

Honestly I wanted to complain. He had spent the whole morning going over the ship, checking the many places the girls had pointed out to him. From holes in the wall, to the ones in the roofs. Doors not on properly. Stairs broken, risking horrible falls if one didn’t pay attention. Latches and hatches missing, or stuck closed…

This whole ship was in far worse shape than I had assumed. I hadn’t even realized ships like this could have such problems. This ship was their home, yet it was as decrepit as if it wasn’t. Even old homes, lived in by old families unable to fix anything thanks to a lack of knowledge, still knew how to keep stuff in some semblance of usable shape. This ship however had many issues that went beyond just simple neglect. Some of the floors and sections of the ship were actually dangerous. So dangerous that they had just… sealed those sections off, as if the problem would just stop being one thanks to it being out of sight and mind.

Vim had pointed out many major faults in the ship. To me and little Rosie who had been with us most the day. It bothered me how he had pointed out a major issue, yet walked past it without a thought. He hadn’t fixed anything he pointed out… the only thing he had actually addressed was the one he was fixing now. The main hole that almost sunk the ship last night.

This ship was falling apart. And the inhabitants had no idea how to stop it from happening.

Within a single night and day, I had gone from being jealous and envious of their lifestyle to pitying them.

Quite a feat.

“You wouldn’t happen to need thirty two prostitutes, would you Vim?”

The pirate captain’s question made my heart flutter as I turned to stare at her. She wasn’t even looking at me… and instead was focusing on Vim’s back.

“Not that I know of,” Vim answered calmly.

Roslyn sighed gently, in a way that told me she had not been joking at all.

That sigh had not been one of relief but resignation.

“Is it that bad, Roslyn?” I asked softly.

“Can’t you tell? Our ship is falling apart. There’s nowhere safe to dock anymore… and what little stores of food we had left… well…” she didn’t even finish her sentence as she shrugged.

Oh. Right. The flooding…

That was why they had freaked out over those barrels and boxes in the hold. Where it had flooded. I had thought maybe it was just… personal affects, like clothes or something. But no. Most of them had been their food stores.

It wasn’t as if they had much in the first place, honestly. There were now many barrels and boxes up top, on the deck, and they barely took up a quarter of it. Many women had been going through them all day, making sure things weren't ruined or spoiled now.

Roslyn sighed as she leaned against the pillar in the center of the room. She rubbed her eyes as she groaned, and I shifted as I stared at a woman who looked as exhausted as Vim was.

“The few villages along the rivers not destroyed by war or plague won’t accept us. I go to trade for food sometimes, but lately even that’s become impossible. No one wants a whore when there’s a terrible disease spreading around, after all,” Roslyn said.

I felt my tail go stiff, and it hurt enough to make me wince. I looked away from the woman who had suddenly become very… fragile. A woman who had been anything but in my eyes now looked as weak as my heart felt sometimes.

“Could always go back to being pirates,” Vim said as he messed with one of the boards. He leaned closer to the ship’s wall, as if to study it closely.

“Pirate what? No one has anything to steal, Vim. The few villages or homes we could steal from have so little it’d not even be worth it. No one sails these rivers anymore. The only town nearby that even has a warehouse left is guarded by a navy, and two mercenary bands. Nothing me and my girls can handle. And this ship can barely survive a storm, let alone the sea, so it’s not like we can sail elsewhere,” Roslyn said.

I glared at Vim’s back as he sat back down on the little stool he was using. He shifted as he studied his handiwork, and I wondered what he’d say next.

He was acting cold-hearted, and I knew he likely was a little distant thanks to his exhaustion… but I knew Vim wasn’t actually a heartless bastard. I’d not have fallen for him had he been such a man. Yet…

Yet Vim said nothing more.

“Can you go elsewhere? Up north maybe?” I asked, since Vim didn’t seem to be willing to add his own opinions to the conversation.

“Yes. But… how many would we lose? Several are too weak or sick for any kind of long journey. And how would we feed ourselves the whole way? It takes weeks to get to any real city up north, and who knows if they’ll even let us in,” she said.

Right. The plague. Vim and I had passed by a whole village getting burnt to the ground…

If they were doing something that extreme, then it might be likely they would stop anyone from the south from entering their lands.

Couldn’t feed themselves. No work. No opportunity. Their home, the only home they had, was sinking slowly. No one around here was willing to let them join them, and there was war, famine, and plague circling all around.

What… what could they do? If they can’t escape or hide away until all the danger passes… what did someone do? What could someone do? What did normal people, normal humans more so, do in such a scenario?

The only thing I think I could have done in their situation would be to run off to the nearest forest and survive… but…

There were no forests out here. Not in this desert.

“Are there not enough fish in the river?” I asked.

“There used to be. Lately though we’re only catching a few a day… and bait is getting harder to acquire, too. Even the worms in the river bank are disappearing. It’s like the whole world is poisoned and drying up… How is that possible?” Roslyn asked with a dry laugh.

“It’s not,” Vim said simply as he stood. He turned and his eyes met mine for only a few moments before he looked at Roslyn, who’s back went straight upon his gaze.

Oh? Did he know something then? Or…

“You may have to abandon your crew, to save yourself and your daughter,” Vim said to her.

Roslyn flinched and her head lowered as her gaze fell to the floor.

“A harsh reality, but one you’ve must have thought of by now,” Vim added.

“They rely on me,” she whispered.

“So does the little one. What’s worth more? Their loyalty or her life?” Vim asked her.

Shifting, I wanted to glare at Vim and say something… but didn’t. After all… as much as his words, and the tone he used while saying them, hurt to hear…

This narrative has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road. If you see it on Amazon, please report it.

They weren’t wrong. Even I realized that.

Vim and I could survive this. And Vim could likely save any of our members suffering from such a thing.

Yet they weren’t our members. They weren’t part of the Society.

So he had to speak in such a manner, because it was the only reality they had.

They didn’t have a protector, or others to rely upon. They only had themselves.

Grabbing my arm, I felt cold all of a sudden.

“Hearing the truth hurts,” Roslyn said softly.

“It usually does,” Vim said.

“There are other children, Vim. Some Rosie’s age,” I said, to remind him.

“I know, Renn,” Vim said.

Biting my tongue, I glanced at Roslyn who sniffed as she wiped her face with an arm. The sight of such a proud woman crying made me very uncomfortable. She was… she was a pirate. A captain. A strong woman, able to do the unthinkable for her people… yet here she was sobbing.

What could I say? Or do? Would Vim get upset with me if I gave her some of the money we had? I still had that little bag full of Lumen marks and Telmik Scripts. I wasn’t sure if any of them would do her any good way out here, but…

“They’d do her no good out here Renn. This nation does trade with those in the north, but through intermediaries. They don’t actually recognize the coins of the north,” Vim said.

I startled, and stared at Vim in shock for a moment… then regained my line of thought.

“How the heck did you know what I was thinking?” I asked him.

“I know you, Renn, regrettably a little too well,” Vim said with a sigh.

Although I didn’t like how he had said that, I still smiled at him. So he did, didn’t he?

“I’d really like you two to not flirt so blatantly while my whole world breaks apart, please,” Roslyn said with a small laugh.

Smiling at her, I nodded. “Sorry.”

“I’m not,” Vim said.

“He is too. But really Vim, I have so much… can’t it help them somehow?” I asked him.

He sighed as he thought about it. “Maybe. If I found someone willing to exchange them, but the ratio would be so bad it’d almost be pointless. They’d take advantage of the situation, what with the chaos and stuff. And if they tried it… well… I could only imagine how badly they’d be treated,” Vim said with a gesture at the frail pirate.

“But it might be possible?” I asked, ignoring Roslyn’s look.

Vim frowned but nodded. “It is. If you’d like to give them some, go ahead. They’re your coins, Renn… you’re free to do as you please with them,” he said.

I nodded. I had expected him to say such a thing, but I still wanted his permission all the same.

“Coins?” Roslyn asked.

“I have Lumen Marks, which I can give you. I don’t know how much there is, but… it should help a little,” I said.

Roslyn smiled at me, and I didn’t like the type of smile it was.

That was the smile of someone humbled, but about to say something very…

“Not going to help, I’m afraid. Keep your coins, girly. The only place I can get those exchanged for anything usable… well… I’d just get arrested if I went there, as would most of my girls,” Roslyn said.

Frowning at her, Vim sighed. “You’re as problematic as most of my people,” he said to her.

Roslyn frowned back at him. “Not sure what you mean by that… but I’ve only done what I’ve needed for my own people. Not that it’s a proper excuse, I guess,” she admitted.

“Of that I’m sure,” Vim nodded.

“Arrested?” I asked.

“She likely killed someone, or got caught prostituting. This region doesn’t take well to women selling themselves,” Vim answered for her.

She nodded, but said nothing. The sad look on her face told me that Vim had been right on the mark… and his tone had hurt her more deeply than the truth had.

I sighed at the two of them. “Vim… are you done with the hole?” I asked the man who was starting to speak… a little too callously. Even for him.

“Hm? Yes. It’s fine now, and should be… I bet that section of the ship will outlast the rest of it,” Vim said as he glanced at his work.

“Good. Now, stop being mean to her and go… fix something else,” I said as I went to push him out of the room.

“Excuse me?” Vim didn’t budge. The only thing that shifted as I tried to push on his back was his shirt.

Grumbling at him, I wondered why he couldn’t take a hint. “I want to talk to Roslyn. Alone,” I said.

“And if I said no?” he asked me.

“Going to force me against my will?” I asked him back.

Vim’s eye twitched, and I nearly stopped trying to push him away at the sight of it. His eye actually twitched! I’ve only seen that happen a few times and… usually it was for other reasons.

“I can’t believe you’d say such a thing to me, Renn,” Vim said stiffly.

“You haven’t answered my question,” I said.

Vim opened his mouth, to argue… then glanced away from me to the woman who had gone silent and wide-eyed.

Roslyn looked… rather interested in our conversation. She was smiling, even with red and watery eyes, and looked as if she was about to laugh.

“Oh, go on Vim. I’ll come find you shortly, and I promise I won’t… promise anything. Yet. Not before talking to you,” I said.

“All that does is make me even more worried, Renn…” Vim grumbled as he finally budged. He stepped away, towards the hole.

Pushing him, I liked how he pretended my pushing was actually working. Even though I was pushing with all my strength, his back felt as firm as a giant rock. This man wouldn’t budge even if my life depended on it.

Actually… he would. But only because he’d do anything to protect me.

Vim crouched as to sneak through the little hole in the wall, and I tried to push him over when he was only standing on one leg. It didn’t work, regrettably, but he chuckled at my attempt.

Once he was out of the room, he knelt a little as to peer at me through the hole. “What are you up to Renn?” he asked me gently.

“Not sure yet. Oh. Wait here,” I hurried back into the room, stepping around a smirking Roslyn as I picked up the tiny stool and some of the tools he had been using. Vim still had his little silver knife on him, so I only needed to gather up the hammer and some loose pieces of wood. I didn’t bother with all the wood shavings, or the small pile of nails.

Handing the stuff off to him, Vim sighed at me. “Really, Renn?”

“Really. Think of it this way; if she won’t take our coins because they’re useless then actually you need to go work and fix stuff. For payment,” I reminded him.

“I have some of their currency,” he mumbled as he stepped away.

Oh? He did…?

Watching the protector leave, I smiled at his back as he rounded the wall… but before he did he turned and glanced back at me. He didn’t say anything, but I could tell by his eyes that he was worried.

I gave him a gentle wave, to tell him it would be okay.

He sighed and nodded, and then rounded the corner fully… heading upstairs.

“I’m jealous of you two. I wish my husband had been like him,” Roslyn said behind me.

Turning around to face her, I nodded. “He’s… a pain sometimes, but he means well,” I said.

Roslyn’s smile was a pained one. “If that’s him being a pain, then you… you probably have no idea how lucky you are. A part of me hopes you never learn,” she said.

Since I was still near the hole, I was able to grab onto the little edge of it… for emotional support, as I stared at a woman who had obviously suffered abuse throughout her life.

She reminded me of Lamp now. Lamp was also… prideful. Strong. Both Roslyn and Lamp had strong spines. The type that bent, but never broke.

Yet for as high as they held their heads, or how strong their backs were… they still flinched. They still cried. Even if they did it somewhere no one could see.

Nory had been like her too… but she had never grown a spine. She had always been so timid.

It was interesting to think of what Nory would say to the woman before me. Nory had been very… devout. Very pious. Yet she had hated the church, and would have likely pitied Roslyn more than hated her.

Though Nory wasn’t here to make a decision. I was.

“What happened? To the men?” I asked her.

“Isn’t it obvious…? Your husband realized it already,” Roslyn shrugged as she spoke.

“I’m not as… experienced as him, in these things,” I said honestly.

“It doesn’t matter. They’re gone. It’s a good thing too, so don’t pity us for it,” Roslyn said.

Right. I nodded at that… I knew that sometimes a man missing in a woman’s life wasn’t always a sign that something bad had happened. Sometimes his absence was a good thing. A positive, not a negative.

“Well? Was that what you wanted to ask? You hadn’t needed to chase him out for that, I doubt he would have been bothered by such a question,” Roslyn said.

I shook my head. “No. I wanted to ask about Rosie,” I said.

“Ah… yes. My next request was the same,” she said softly.

Huh…?

Roslyn smiled at me, and then gulped. “Would you?” she whispered the question.

Would I…?

My eyes went wide as I realized what she was implying.

“Roslyn…” I whispered her name and very lightly shook my head.

“What…? Weren’t you going to suggest it?” she asked stiffly.

“I was going to ask how far you’d go for her, not if you’d give her to me,” I said.

Roslyn’s eyes hardened and I realized my question would have been pointless.

She’s already gone farther than most would dream for her daughter. Our conversation so far has made that clear.

She’s not just stolen, she’s killed. She’s sold her own body, and who knows what else… all for her daughter, and the women she commanded.

I hadn’t needed to ask that question, not to this woman.

“Well… since it’s already been said… How about now? Would you take her? With the two of you she’ll at least eat and survive,” Roslyn asked me.

I gulped and wished I hadn’t sent Vim away. Not just because this conversation had taken a terrible turn… but also because I knew he’d be able to do what I couldn’t.

Vim could say no. Even if it hurt him to do so.

I…

I… could…

Could I?

Can I?

Opening my mouth to see if I could, I felt the awkwardness as the moments lingered… and no words came.

Roslyn smiled at me. A gentle smile, full of kindness. “Have you been a mother? Are you? You look twisted and torn. I didn’t realize a woman who hasn’t had children could show such an expression,” Roslyn said.

Squeezing the thin piece of wall I was using as support so I wouldn’t fall to my knees, I shook my head. “I’ve not had children… but yes. I’ve… raised them, in a way.”

“Really…? You don’t look old enough… but I guess that’s the world we live in. Where even the children have children,” she said with a sigh.

I wasn’t going to tell her about Lujic and Ginny. There was no point. And I didn’t want to dredge up their memories right now, since all it’d do is make it harder for me to deny Roslyn her request.

Vim would never allow me to take Rosie. Even if it meant her life if I didn’t.

Because she was human. Not a member.

And…

Shifting, I took a deep breath and held it in for a moment. Releasing it slowly, I nodded at myself.

Careful Renn. Don’t create another Lumen. Don’t cause issues. Not already. Not right now… not…

“Sorry Renn. For asking such a thing of you. I’m just… getting desperate, I think. It’s one thing after another. We’ve lost three people this week. Only one left the ship alive. Now this storm… and these damned holes,” Roslyn said as she turned to look at the spot Vim had fixed.

“Don’t feel bad, Roslyn. I don’t think any mother would blame you for trying,” I said softly.

“Yes they would. I’d hate myself forever if you took her from me, even if it meant she would live. Which is horrible of me, isn’t it? Right after asking you to take her… I actually thought about tossing you overboard. For no reason other than to stop you from actually doing what I had asked you to. I’m disgusting. I’d let my own daughter starve to death, just out of selfishness,” Roslyn whispered.

Selfishness…? Was that really what that was?

Vim would likely say it was.

“It just shows how much you love her, Roslyn,” I said.

“Love,” she said the word the same way Vim did. With scorn.

Studying the pirate captain, I quickly contained the disturbance within me.

Her question and her reaction afterward bothered me. I hadn’t been expecting her request concerning her daughter at all. I should have. I should have been smart enough to realize where she had been leading towards.

She had entered this small room, and sent her daughter away on purpose.

We were alone. Out of earshot. This was the perfect opportunity for her… and she had taken it.

It was a little sudden, but it made sense.

In her eyes… Vim and I were likely something of a miracle. We were healthy. Well fed. Wealthy. Happy, even… and she knew for a fact I was from the north. In other words, she knew I’d eventually head back that way. Escaping the violence and plague when I did.

So for her to ask me to take her daughter… well…

Even if she was obviously having second thoughts now, I could see where and how such an idea came from.

Staring at the woman who was… very respectful in my eyes, I noticed what I hadn’t before.

She was showing signs of starvation. Similar to Lamp and her people when I had first met them, parts of her body were starting to become sunken and shallow. Arms thin all the way to her elbows, and then up to her shoulders. Legs similarly thin, and cheeks a little sharper than they should be.

Why hadn’t I noticed before…?

Why did I never notice such things until it was too late…? Was it because I wasn’t perceptive, or was it because I simply didn’t want to see such things?

So that was why she, a captain of a ship, had been in that little fishing village we had found her in.

She hadn’t been there to fish. She had been looking for work.

It was also why our… meals had been so light. So little. And why Rosie had been so happy to eat with me. It wasn’t just because she enjoyed spending time with me, or Vim, but because she got to eat more often thanks to us.

They had food, just not enough. Not enough to last. Not enough to eat their fill.

She nodded at Vim’s handiwork, and then gestured at me.

“He did good work. Thank him for me. I’d offer my body, but he has you and you’re far prettier than I ever was,” Roslyn said with a smirk.

Blushing at her self-depreciation, I shook my head. “He’s been grouchy. It’s good for him to have something to do. Maybe if we’re lucky before we reach our destination he’ll fix most of what’s needed,” I said.

She chuckled at me. “You’re as odd as he is. Are you some kind of princess?” she asked.

Princess? “No?”

“Hm… I bet you are, or something like it. Too pampered, maybe. Probably his fault. He spoils you, doesn’t he?” Roslyn asked.

“I uh…” Did he? Maybe. Sometimes he did… sometimes I wished he did it more.

Roslyn stepped forward, and wrapped an arm around me. She squeezed my shoulder, holding me close as if in a hug. “Sorry, Renn. For making it all awkward… just… forget all about it? Okay? Just consider it a moment of weakness. Please,” she said.

I nodded… but knew I’d not be able to.

“I can do that. But… before I do, mind if I get to ask my question?” I asked her.

“Hm? What I’d be willing to do for my daughter…? Renn… I’d do anything,” she said seriously.

I nodded, and gulped. Here we go. I’m doing it again.

Vim was going to get upset with me.

Hopefully his love for me would survive all the headaches I’d bring him. Especially if fate was going to keep forcing me into these positions.

Staring into Roslyn’s eyes, I decided to just give it a shot.

She was facing death in the eye anyway. Starvation. Plague. War. Her ship was sinking, not just figuratively, and that was the least of her worries.

So… maybe risking her life wasn’t as big a deal as I was worried about.

She was willing to ask Vim and I to take her daughter… so surely she’d be willing to risk something else.

A pirate should be willing to risk their lives, right? For their daughter? If she was willing to do all she’s done, then what was one more thing? One more promise? One more life risking trial…?

“What… would you be willing to do to enter a Society? One that could fix all of your problems, and save your daughter?” I asked the pirate captain.

Hopefully I wasn’t overestimating her… otherwise I just doomed her and this whole ship.