Frett sighed as she sat down next to me. Her robe fluttered a little, thanks to the light wind, and she leaned a little closer. Likely for warmth.

“See that one? That’s my next project,” I said as I pointed at a medium sized statue. A winged creature sitting on the edge of the roof beneath the spire we were sitting on.

“Hm. Why are there even statues up here anyway?” Frett asked.

“Abel’s father made them. Just something he did,” I said.

“Ah… right,” Frett nodded, finding that to make perfect sense.

Which it did. Abel's father had been a strange man. He hadn’t been religious at all, but he spent every waking moment of his life… especially near the end… On shaping and crafting religious motifs. Usually in the form of stone statues.

Some were actually very detailed and delicate. The one I had fixed the other day had been a slight pain, because it had hundreds of tiny little designs carved all over it. They were thin and brittle… I’d broken a few when I had put it back into place, and secured it better to the roof.

“You know I’ve never been up here Vim. I’ve looked out the windows of course, but never up here,” Frett said as she looked around.

I nodded. “No point endangering yourself,” I said.

It honestly wasn’t that dangerous. Especially for a non-human. We had crawled out of one of the several windows in the spire, and climbed up above the windows. Here on the roof, even though it was pointed and rounded, there was enough room to sit comfortably. The sloped shingles that kept the rain from damaging or getting into the tower were flattened out and angled at the bottom, which made perfect little seats… if a little wet.

This spire was the second tallest… but the taller one, the one behind us near the edge of the church, didn’t have windows near the top. So climbing to the top of it would have required actual effort. Frett was a non-human… but she was also a small, clumsy thing. So I had chosen this one.

Our little… dinner date, had ended quickly. She had eaten quickly, telling me the whole story. From beginning to end.

She had wept after eating, but not for too long. Frett was actually a rather strong woman, it seemed.

Frett was angry. Upset. Sad. Hurt… but she wasn’t in danger of killing herself, or others.

If anything she was just… disappointed. With herself. For letting her get her own hopes up. For expecting great things.

She had tried to have a child. And it had not only failed… she had also gotten betrayed by the one she had tried to have it with.

A sad pity. Because I knew it meant Frett would likely not try to escape her comfort zone for a long while… if ever again.

We needed more members to try and give birth to children. Especially the pure blooded ones. Yet, like always... fate was being cruel to them. Making them suffer for no reason.

“My Gods say the worst pain one can endure is that of the soul being eaten,” Frett said softly.

“It is painful,” I admitted.

Frett shifted, and glanced at me. Her hooded headdress shifted a little, thank to the angle, and her bangs barely hid the look of pure fear in her eyes. “I didn’t feel bad, Vim,” Frett said softly.

I nodded. She had told me already.

About her relationship with Tim. How he had lied. The child, its early birth… its death.

How although it had hurt, and she had wept and spent a year in depression… She hadn’t allowed the early death of the child to ruin her. She wasn’t allowing it to destroy her.

She was more so upset she had simply looked forward to it. She had been looking forward to raising a child. She had been so excited. So… when disaster had struck…

Then of course Tim had threatened her. To not tell anyone. Making it all the worse for her.

Adding a layer of stress she hadn’t needed.

I’d deal with him later.

Right now Frett needed closure. Or at least, the end of it.

She’d already told me everything. Already cried. She had already come to terms herself, long before I arrived.

Now I needed to play the part. To be the final actor in her little play, her play of coming to terms and acceptance.

“I was just so relieved… relieved I’d not be banished. Relieved I hadn’t brought a child into a world of suffering. Relieved Tim wouldn’t be able to do anything…” Frett continued.

“Your Lords call that fate, Frett,” I told her.

She gulped and nodded. “Is it though…?”

I shrugged. “There are lots of ways to argue about it. How come it happened like that? Why’d the gods let it happen in the first place? Why didn’t it go another way?” I said. I could have kept going, but there was no point.

Frett’s hands ruffled her robe. Squeezing it, as she fidgeted. “I shouldn’t have tried. I allowed myself to indulge in hope. Misplaced. Now I must carry the weight of sin and…” Frett spoke softly. Quietly. As if afraid to admit it even still.

“Nonsense, Frett. Even your holy scripture makes it clear that having children is the duty of all creations. The only burden you must carry is the sadness of losing a child. A painful memory. One you’ll never forget, but also something you can endure,” I told her.

“Have you lost a child, Vim?” Frett asked.

“I’ve lost countless children,” I told her.

She looked up at me, her blurry eyes reflecting in the night.

I nodded, to tell her I was speaking the truth. I lifted my hands and arms, extending them a little before me. As if I was carrying a child right now. “Countless times. In these very arms. Even with all my strength… as I hold them… they’ve still slipped away,” I told her.

None had been my own child, but… at those moments… In those moments, where their tiny lungs stopped struggling…

They may as well have been.

Frett took in a sharp breath, and her right hand slid over to my thigh. To grab my pants. She gripped them tightly, as if suddenly afraid of heights.

“But Frett…” I lowered my hands, and placed my own on hers. To pat her hand gently. “If I allowed their deaths… my failures… to overpower and burden me too greatly… all it would accomplish are more losses. If I wallowed too deeply in despair, or sadness, I’d simply lose more children. I’d lose more of you. And not only is that not right… it’s also a sin all in itself,” I told her.

“But Vim… I don’t save anyone, ever,” Frett whispered up at me.

“Says who?” I asked her.

She blinked, and I noticed the tear slide out. A large, solitary, tear ran down her face, and rounded around her nose. If she hadn't been missing the tip of it, it would have dropped there.

“Who are you to know if you’ve saved someone or not, Frett? How are you to know if you don’t save someone every day?” I asked her.

“But…” she went to argue, but I patted her hand again.

“How many people do you talk to every day?” I asked her.

Frett shifted, and gulped. “Every day?” she asked.

I nodded.

“I… well…”

“Exactly.” I said, and waved at the church beneath us. The other spires. The roof. The faint glow coming from the sunken and open section not far from us, the courtyard. The windows weren’t all lit up, since it was the middle of the night, but enough were to give it a nice glow. “You talk to everyone here. You spend time with them. You live with them. You’re their friend. Their family. I know this might sound strange but… trust me. Your presence is valuable. It’s life-changing. Those little moments you share with all of them, every day, is what keep them all alive. It’s what keeps them happy,” I told her.

Frett’s hand squeezed my leg a little more. “That’s a thin way to look at it, Vim,” she said softly.

“Possibly. But it’s not wrong. If you had any idea how many we’ve lost over the years from simple loneliness… you’d not doubt me for a moment,” I said.

Frett sniffed, and looked away from me. To the church I had just waved at.

“In a way Frett, that desire for a child is the same thing. A way to fend of loneliness. A way to feel a sense of worth and belonging. Friends and family are not the exact same, of course, but they’re similar fulfillment and desires. Your hurt now, for good reason, but just think how much worse it’d be if you were alone completely. With no one and nothing,” I said.

She sniffed. “Ursula did spend days with me after. If not for her I might have done something stupid,” she said gently.

Well done Ursula.

“Exactly. How are you to know you don’t offer the same reprieve and help? Or won't here shortly in the future?” I suggested. “What happened to you Frett is a tragedy. A sad blight on an otherwise happy life. But don’t let it be the end of your story. You can not only continue making an impact on everyone here… who are you to know you’ll not give birth again someday? Right now you’re hurt and betrayed, but one day you may find another reason to try again. Don’t allow this loss to stop you from the possibilities of another down the road,” I said.

Frett gulped and nodded. “You really do preach the same things as our gods, even if you say it differently,” she said softly.

Well… I had been slightly trying to tug at her devotion. Though I’d never say that aloud.

“I’m not smart enough to remember such complex prayers and stuff. You’ll need to go to Renn for that,” I told her.

She leaned closer and giggled. “She does seem to have wonderful memory,” she said.

I nodded as Frett laid her head onto me. Resting it against my shoulder. I was a little slouched, so she was able to do so comfortably even though a little short.

The wind up here was a little more than a simple breeze… but it wasn’t too cold. Luckily the recent storm had made the place a little warmer than before.

I knew it’d not be long though before the wind started to chill and bite.

This place got covered in snow during the winter. To the point that it stacked higher than the first two floors. It was why there weren’t many windows.

To be honest when it got like that this place became rather… nice. Quiet. Simple. At least it would be if it wasn’t full of those like Frett, who sang hymns and prayed all day long during such snowed in days.

“What do I do, Vim?” Frett asked softly.

“Whatever you need to do.”

“Do I get angry at him?” she asked.

“I am,” I told her the truth.

She sighed, but not in an unhappy way. “I’m not supposed to get angry,” she said.

Well technically neither was I.

“Your gods got angry too, Frett,” I told her.

She shifted a little, to glance up at me. “Had they?” she asked.

I nodded.

“Hm…” she studied me for a moment, and it was obvious she believed me… but…

“I know you didn’t actually love him… but it’s okay to hate him all the same, Frett. He had betrayed your trust,” I told her.

She blinked a few times, and then looked away. “I’d rather just let you hate him for me.”

Smiling, I nodded. “Done and done.”

This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

Frett took a deep breath, held it in for a moment… and then released it with a great sigh.

Glad she hadn’t returned to weeping… I went quiet.

The two of us sat in silence for a long moment. Clouds passed by. The moon got brighter. Some of the lanterns and lamps went out, causing the courtyard to grow darker.

A small breeze went by, carrying a colder draft. Frett shivered because of it, telling me it was time I let her go to bed.

“You know what’s odd about all this Vim?” Frett then asked.

“Hm?”

“Ursula. She’s been super supportive. And has helped me understand it all too. I… I honestly hadn’t spent much time with her. Before all of this. Since she’s… well…” Frett shifted a little, to raise her hands and shrug.

Right. A pagan. At least in her eyes.

“She’s endured your pain many times. She knows how it feels,” I said gently.

She nodded. “Right… and Sharp’s been kind too. Though she keeps asking for permission,” Frett said with a sigh.

I smirked, and wondered what Sharp would say if she knew Frett had given me permission instead. She’d be jealous.

“You have good friends, Frett. Your family is stronger than you think. You’re strong than you think.”

She nodded and went to shifting her robe. It had folded upward a little thanks to the wind.

Reaching around, I gave Frett a small hug. Her thin shoulders squeezed up as I wrapped them with an arm. “Just let me know Frett. Any time. For any reason. I’ll do anything I can for you,” I told her.

She nodded and sniffed. “Thanks Vim.” I gave her a tiny squeeze, and she leaned even closer.

As I held her for a moment, I wondered if this… incident, would end up being good for her.

Although painful… it had obviously benefited her in certain ways. She now knew Ursula and Sharp were genuinely good people, even if they didn’t exactly subscribe to her religion. Those friendships would grow and harden, and give Frett more… well…

Another buffer. Another strong foundation. For many things in life.

“I think next time I’ll just ask you, Vim,” Frett then said.

My eye twitched, and I hoped she hadn’t felt it. “Me?” I asked, hoping I had misunderstood.

“To take me elsewhere. I should have known this was why Fractal left all the time. There’s no drama if you just go elsewhere and do it,” she said with a sigh.

Oh. Jeez.

I smiled a little, out of relief of having misunderstood her. “Well, that’s not entirely the reason. But yes. If you get that weird itch again just let me know and I’ll take you to Lumen or something,” I said.

“Weird itch,” she said, and then giggled.

Patting her back as I let her shoulder go, I nodded. “It is in a way, you know,” I said.

“Right…!” she nodded, still giggling.

Frett happily giggled at me, and then patted my thigh. “Okay, Vim,” she then said.

“Sure…?” I asked her.

She nodded. “Yeah. I’ll be okay. Though um… don’t tell me. Or show me. Or let me hear it,” she said.

I nodded gently to her. That was understandable. Even if she now hated Tim, and wanted him gone, she was still very religious. If Tim was hurt, physically or emotionally, because of this then she’d have to blame herself. Her religious doctrine was to never do harm.

Frett sighed and looked away, out at the church. “I buried the baby near the lake. The one where Sharp grows those plants. For her bandages,” she then told me.

Right.

“That way… hopefully she’ll grow into those plants too. I like the idea of becoming a bandage. I think I might ask to be buried there too,” Frett said.

“There’s great pride in being something that heals people,” I said, agreeing.

She nodded. “There is…”

Frett then coughed, and nodded. “Okay. Before I start weeping again. I know you’re okay with it Vim, but I’m not. The Gods tell us not to cry too much,” she said.

“Gods cried too, Frett,” I told her as I turned, as to stand up.

“Did they?” she asked as I stood, and then held my hand out to her.

She took it as I helped her to her feet. “A lot. More than you’d think,” I told her.

I’d not tell her I had been the reason they had wept so much.

“Huh…” she mumbled as we stepped over a few steps, to get in front of the window. Or rather, above it.

“Ready?” I asked her.

She nodded.

Holding her hand and arm, I gently helped her down. She swung a little, and made a tiny noise as she quickly swung her feet and legs into the window. Half a moment later she was back inside, stepping away.

For a tiny moment I lingered outside, both to let Frett have a chance to get away from the window… and to glance around.

The church was dark and quiet. Typical here.

Then I too returned inside. I carefully climbed down back into the window, and did my best to not break the small shelf that was sitting right under it. Frett had used it as a footstool… but if I did that, it’d likely just shatter.

“Can I ask something, Vim?” Frett asked as I went to close the window.

“Hm?” I made sure to firmly shutter it. Since I knew this place wasn’t frequented often. If I left the window unlocked, a strong storm would blow it open… and all the rain and nature would hastily lay this tower to waste.

“If you um… find any children. Orphans. Would you bring them here?” she asked me.

I paused a moment as I turned away from the window. “You sure?” I asked her.

She nodded, and her sad smile told me how serious she was.

Nodding gently, I smiled back at her. “Then yes. I will. I’ve also been asked to bring back some puppies,” I said.

“Puppies…? Oh my, that would be nice,” Frett perked up at that.

“Children and puppies,” I said as I thought about it. Quite a combination.

I’d like to think it’d be near impossible to find such orphans… but…

Well…

Lomi had been one too. And then Fly, to a point.

They were far more common than one thought. Than I’d like to admit.

“Sorry to ask something so weird, Vim,” Frett then said.

“It wasn’t, Frett. You’d be surprised actually… I regretfully run into more orphans than you think. Though if you’ll forgive me… I do hope I never need to bring any to you, yet all the same I promise I will if the need arises,” I told her.

She nodded quickly. “Right…! Right,” she said.

I stepped towards the door and opened it. Revealing the spiral staircase that would lead us back down into the church. “Though you might have to fight for any I bring. You holy women are usually very motherly,” I told her, and gestured for her to descend first.

“Gosh, don’t remind me. Lena would definitely be pushy about it,” she mumbled as she stepped past me and into the stairwell.

I nodded, though wasn’t sure if she was right or not. To be honest most of the people here I wasn’t very close with. Sharp was the one I knew most about… but honestly that was just because her personality allowed me to be more normal with her. The rest of them here, like Frett and Ursula, saw me as something akin to a religious deity.

Not really something that enabled friendship to form. I always had to walk on eggshells around them.

“Though I might need to also fight Renn too,” Frett said as I followed her downstairs.

I flinched. “Yeah she’s very protective of children.”

“Is… is she like me then? Like Ursula?” Frett asked softly.

“Yes and no,” I said, and left it at that.

“Hm… She’s so upbeat too. Wonder how she does it,” Frett wondered.

“She’s an open book. You can talk to her about it if you’d feel okay doing so. I can promise you Renn’s surprisingly good at keeping secrets, even if she's horrible at keeping her own,” I told her.

Frett paused before a door. Not the one we were heading for, though. It was another small room in the spire. “Is she?” she asked as she turned to look at me.

I nodded down to the robed woman. “She is. Though don’t be alarmed if she starts crying and wraps you in a hug,” I warned her.

Frett smiled up at me. “I’ve actually started to enjoy that. I think I might just talk to her, then, before you two leave,” she said.

Nodding, I was glad to hear it. It’d do Frett good… and honestly, it’d do Renn good too.

We descended the rest of the way in silence, reaching the bottom of the spire. The stairs led to an open room, but one full of boxes. I could smell the grains, particularly the rice hiding within them.

Stepping out of the storeroom, and into one of the smaller hallways of the church… I nodded to Frett who paused a moment. “Wasn’t so bad, was it?” I asked.

She smiled at me and shook her head. “No. It really wasn’t. Your food didn’t smell half as bad as last time,” she said.

“I hadn’t meant the food…”

She giggled at me. “I know…!”

Frett slowly stopped giggling… and then smiled up at me. Before I could say anything else, she stepped forward and wrapped me in a hug.

Patting her back as she squeezed me, I realized she was actually about as tall as Renn was with her ears. Her head came to a stop right where Renn’s ears did.

“Thanks Vim,” she said into my chest.

“Mhm.”

Frett took one last deep breath… and then nodded as she let me go.

“Goodnight, Frett,” I said as she stepped away.

She sniffed and nodded. “Goodnight Vim. May the gods keep us all safe,” she said as she left.

I watched her go for a moment… and wondered if she really was okay or not.

It was so hard to tell sometimes. It was more than just being strong… because even the strong broke.

Though usually those with such deep religious beliefs ended up being okay more often than not. It was a good anchor to cling to during a troubled storm.

Crossing my arms as I watched Frett hurry down the hallway, I turn to look down the other direction… at Renn.

She jumped at my glance at her, and then sheepishly smiled as she stepped forward.

She had been sitting at the end of the hallway. On one of the many small benches that were everywhere. Thanks to how far Renn had been and how still she had been sitting… it was likely that Frett hadn’t even noticed her.

Renn slowed as she approached, and then came to a stop as Frett rounded a corner.

“How was she?” Renn asked quietly.

“She has another scar on her heart and soul… but I think she’ll be okay,” I said honestly.

“That’s good. Or well, it’s good she’ll be okay,” Renn corrected herself as she stepped forward, coming up to me.

It was.

Studying Renn, and her robes… I noticed the faint smell of a bath on her. “Did you take a bath?” I asked.

She nodded. “With Sharp.”

“With…” I sighed and shook my head at her.

“What? We had been filthy. We went into the woods, to gather up some plants for her bandages,” Renn defended herself.

“At night?” I asked. I knew of the plants she was speaking of. They were near the lake. I had brought the seeds for them, for Sharp. She had asked me for a way to make as many bandages as she needed. And those plant fibers had been my solution.

Renn shrugged. “Sharp thinks the plants are more delicate at night, I guess,” she said.

Delicate… maybe she thinks if she harvests them at night their fibers were more suited for bandages?

I mean… it wasn’t entirely an impossibility… but the difference had to be so insignificant…

Though… knowing Sharp, she’s actually proven it. Interesting.

“She’s a kind woman. She kind of reminds me of Merit, being so prickly, but she’s actually not as sharp tongued as Merit. She just has a different perspective of life, so it’s easy to misunderstand her,” Renn told me.

I nodded. “Yes. Her small stature also helps relate her to Merit, too. And Sharp is not as human as most of you. So her view of life is skewed more animalistic than not.” Which was funny, since she was a romantic. Usually such people were the farthest thing from it.

Renn nodded, happy to hear me speak of her friends. “She is a little short. Not as bad as Merit though,” she said.

Right. Merit was a whole different kind of tiny and…

“You said you bathed with Sharp?” I asked.

“Hm? Yeah?”

“How’d she look?” I asked.

Renn blinked at me. “Uh… fine…? I didn’t see any wounds or anything, if that’s what you mean. I thought she wore the bandages as a way to keep her skin from cutting people or things on accident?” she asked.

“That’s their main purpose yes… but because of how rough her skin is, she sometimes gets sores and wounds. It’s rough and dry. I’m glad to hear she’s okay,” I said. I once found her bleeding all over a few visits ago. I had helped nurse her during that visit, and had felt for the poor girl.

“Ah… I didn’t realize it could hurt her too,” she said softly.

I nodded.

Renn frowned in a way that told me she was now sad. She wasn’t enjoying hearing about her friend being someone who suffered for no reason.

Though…

Shifting, I wondered if I should ask her or not.

Studying the woman I had chosen as my partner, I realized I had suddenly been placed in a peculiar position.

It was time to make a decision. A real one.

Renn noticed my stare, and her sad frown turned into a gentle smile. “Vim…?” she asked.

Right. She was a gentle soul…

And Nann had made it very clear that Renn was more fragile than I thought. Though I wasn't sure if I agreed with her yet. Personally I thought Renn was made of stronger stuff. She'd cry, sure... but break? I wasn't so sure of that.

So… should I let her get involved?

Should I shield it from her? If at least not forever, at least for now?

After all it wasn’t like she didn’t have time. I could give her years. Decades. Centuries. A millennia or two, I didn’t care. However long that was needed for her, I was more than happy to wait patiently until she was ready to see and even be a part of the darker sides of the Society.

But…

Renn’s ears fluttered, but she didn’t say anything. She calmed down and just went to smiling at me… locking her eyes with my own.

How was she so patient with me? I swear.

I hope she’ll always be this patient with me. Although I enjoyed it when she became a little pushy… I relished these moments. It was moments like these that proved just how much she trusted me. How much she loved me.

Which was why I wanted to shield her from the sad things. Not just because of what Nann and Nasba had said… but also just because I cared for her. Even if she could endure the chaos and despair that would come from it... That did not mean I wanted her involved with it at all.

I wanted Renn to be happy. Always. I wanted every day she existed to be one full of joy and laughter. I didn’t like it when she cried. I didn’t like it when she got hurt, or had to accept a cruel reality that didn’t fit her own.

Yet at the same time…

It was what she wanted. It was what she desired. To be my partner. Not just my wife… but…

She tilted her head again, this time a little too sensually. It made me want to reach out and touch her.

“I need to do something rather sad,” I told her, before she could seduce me.

She blinked, and her smile slowly died.

“I know you want to… support me. So you wish to know all I do. And how I do it. You wish to learn, and see, and be there for me…” I told her.

She nodded slowly.

“But I also wish I could shield you from such sorrows. From that which would make you cry, and not smile,” I said softly.

“That’s adorable, Vim,” Renn said, just as quietly.

Blinking, I shifted. “Huh?”

“You wish to cherish me. Yet doing so would be forcing your will on me. It’s adorable that your love for me can make you so conflicted. You, a man of such firm beliefs, being so conflicted because of me is... well... lovely,” she explained.

Ah… I smiled… and then I sighed as I nodded at her. “I’ll let you decide, Renn. If you wish to witness it or not,” I decided.

“Witness what Vim…?” she asked softly.

“I’m to banish Tim. For what he had done to Frett.”