I had never packed so slowly while I wanted to run away as fast as I could.

Even when Nory had died, I hadn’t felt this… weird. I had hurt. I had sobbed and cried… and I had also felt the desire to run away, since I didn’t want to be in that little cabin without her any longer… but…

But right here and now…

Putting the nightgown into the bag, I hated how… heavy it felt. Even though I knew it was as light as a feather. I barely felt its weight, usually, yet right now…

“The whole world is heavy,” I whispered.

Taking a deep breath, I did my best to not start crying again.

I didn’t want to cry anymore. My eyes hurt. My nose hurt. I felt out of tears, even though my eyes were still blurry.

Vim had been… gentle enough to hold me for nearly an hour, after telling me about the vote. But even Vim’s gentle kindness didn’t last forever. He had duties. He had tasks to finish, before we left… and my sobbing was not as important as the rest of the Societies needs.

“Not important at all,” I whispered as I put the small nail filing box into the bag. I slid it between the folded up nightgown, and the other pairs of socks I had.

Staring down at the little blue box, I took another deep breath and was rather glad I didn’t break down again.

Really, it didn’t hurt that badly. I understood it. I comprehend it. I didn’t blame them.

I couldn’t fault them. I couldn’t hate them for it.

Banishing me made sense, from their perspective.

Yet…

“Yet I wish it hadn’t happened,” I whispered.

Why did they banish me?

Because I had been willing to try and save Fly and her people?

Why was that so bad? Why was such a thing so dangerous? When most of them had willingly voted in the same ways before?

Did none of them remember how they had voted to give Fly her chance? How they had voted to keep Vim, and me, from doing anything that might endanger Fly or their people?

Yet why was…

“Stop,” I bit myself off and turned as to pack up the rest of my clothes.

We were going to leave in the morning. Right before dawn.

Herra was coming with us, since she needed to go back to her family. Her real home. I wasn’t sure where it was, or why exactly she needed to go home… but it was something important. Important enough that Herra was leaving right when the Society in Lumen needed everyone as much as ever.

Then why banish me? Aren’t I useful? Wouldn’t I be…?

I mean… I wouldn’t have stayed anyway… but… but…!

“Stop!” I raised my voice a little too much, and nearly threw the pair of pants I had been folding away in the process.

“Stop what, Renn?”

I turned and hesitated at the sight of Merit. The door was open, and she was tilting her head at me.

“Sorry… it’s nothing,” I said as I quickly composed myself.

“Obviously not… though I can kind of guess what it is. Can I come in?” she asked.

Ah. Right. She was standing right outside the room. I nodded and smiled at her as she stepped in, and didn’t hesitate to close the door behind her.

Taking a small breath I walked over to my bed, where my main bag was. I put the now wrinkled pants within it, and was glad to see that the bag was only half full.

Not because I had a bunch still to pack… but rather the opposite. It meant I wasn’t really accumulating anything I didn’t need. We were travelers, so I needed to be like Vim. Someone who didn’t carry much more than the essentials.

“I told Vim already… but if you ever paint anything else, Renn, you can send it to me. I’ll keep them safe,” Merit said gently as she stepped over to me.

I nodded. “He told me… thank you Merit, for that. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to paint again, but I’m sure I will. I have… a lot to paint,” I said as I thought of all those lost in the fires.

She nodded back. “Of course. Though if you ever paint Vim, don’t you dare send me those ones! I’ll feed them to pigs if you do,” Merit said with a smirk.

I laughed at her, and it felt really good to do so. Even if it kind of hurt the back of my throat to do so. “Right!”

Merit giggled at me, and I realized she had said such a thing on purpose. To make me laugh.

How kind of her.

“Thanks Merit,” I said softly.

“Hm,” she nodded, as if she understood.

But how could she?

Vim had said she and Tosh had been the only ones to vote in my favor. To not vote to banish me.

Tosh was… surprising, very much so, and in honesty Merit wasn’t… but…

But all the same…

Merit sighed and then extended her arms. “Go ahead,” she said with a nod.

I blinked at her a few times, and then laughed again as I bent down and wrapped her in a huge hug.

The small Merit felt even smaller as I realized I had to bend down even more. It was awkward, so I went ahead and just fell to my knees. Luckily the carpet was good enough to not hurt me as Merit and I held each other in a deep hug.

“I’ll miss you Renn. I enjoyed meeting you,” Merit said in my ear. One of my real ones. I was burying my face into her tiny shoulder, so I was angled a little oddly. Just enough she was able to speak into the ears on top of my head and not my human ones.

“I’ll miss you too,” I sobbed.

“Now, now… don’t cry Renn. It hurts… but…” Merit spoke… but eventually her voice started sounding weird.

Then without warning, Merit started crying too.

She began to shake violently, and her tiny arms squeezed me tighter. So tightly in fact, I paused in my crying a moment as I realized she was squeezing me tight enough that it actually hurt.

Merit really was strong…

“I’m so sorry Renn! I’m sorry our lives are so hard… I’m sorry our people are so weak and…!” Merit sobbed as she spoke, and I closed my eyes as I basked in the warmth of Merit’s soul.

Shaking my head as Merit cried even harder than me, I wished with all my heart that Merit would always be happy and healthy. “It’s okay Merit. It really is. Thank you… for being who you are,” I said to her.

“You too, Renn,” Merit said as she squeezed me even tighter.

I smiled as her arms trembled. She felt strong… far too strong for her size and appearance, yet… at the same time… she also felt her appearance.

She was trembling and crying in the same way a little girl would.

The two of us held each other for a long moment, and I realized this was exactly what I wanted. What I needed.

I’d be able to leave now, with a smile. Even if it was one strained.

“Thank you, Merit,” I said again.

“Mhm… you better write to me. I won’t know where you are, so I’ll need you to tell me where to send mine,” she said.

I nodded. “Of course. Though I think you’ll always be able to reach me by sending one to Vim,” I said.

“Urgh… You better realize you’re the only person that I’d ever be able to put up with Vim for,” she said.

Laughing, the two of us shook a little in our hug. She wasn’t squeezing me as hard, yet wasn’t letting me go.

Which I didn’t mind. I wouldn’t mind even if she wanted to stay like this until the morning, when I left.

“Will you keep an eye on Lamp for me, Merit? I… I don’t know if anyone else will,” I asked her.

She nodded. “I will. For you.”

“Thank you.”

“I’d ask you to keep your eyes off Vim for me, but you probably won’t listen so I just won’t say it,” she then said.

Giggling at her, I nodded. “I can try, I guess?”

“That’ll have to be good enough,” she said with a sigh.

The two of us went silent… for a good long while, until she sighed and then patted me on the back. I gave her one last small squeeze, which she returned, before we separated.

Leaning back, I smiled at her as she went to wiping her face. “Is there anything you need Renn? Anything I can get you for your trip?” she asked.

I slowly shook my head as I studied my friend. “I’m fine… I think. Vim doesn’t like it when we have too much to carry, so…” I said.

“Right. He’s a jerk,” she nodded.

Glancing at my bag, I gestured at it. “I got mostly everything ready. I just need to put on my leather… and sword, and I’m ready,” I said.

“Hmph…” Merit stepped away from me, and up to my bed. She stood up on her toes to peer into the bag. I slowly got up off my knees, and stood as Merit studied my bag’s contents. “You have so little… but knowing Vim he’ll say you have a lot. When he brought me here, he wouldn’t even let me bring a single bag you know? We came with just the clothes on our backs,” she said.

“Really…?” I asked. That was… interesting. I had been mostly joking about Vim’s aversion to stuff. He hadn’t really ever said anything, honestly, and I had a feeling Vim wouldn’t really complain even if I did add a bag or two.

“It’s not his fault though… we had been in a rush. But just let me badmouth him okay? He’s a jerk who’s taking away my friend,” she said.

Taking me away…

Smiling softly at my friend, I kept myself from making a small comment… about who was actually forcing me to leave.

She knew. She knew, so I didn’t need to say it.

“Oh… here. I got it so I could read it but… well…” I stepped over to my desk and grabbed the small book I had gotten at the Bell Church.

“Ah…” Merit recognized it instantly, and sighed as I handed it to her.

“You didn’t get to read them,” she whispered sadly.

I nodded. “It’s okay… maybe another time,” I said.

Honestly I wasn’t sure if I could read them right now even if I had the time. My heart and head were all so… disheveled.

“Maybe during your journey you’ll meet the author. Vim knows who it is after all,” Merit said lightly.

I nodded. Maybe. Maybe…

An odd silence filled the room, and I realized I wasn’t sure what else to say to her.

This could be the last time I saw Merit… if not for ever, at the very least for a very… very long time. Years and years.

“Anything I can do for you, Merit? Before I go?” I asked her.

She smiled at me in the way someone much older than me would. It hurt to see, since I honestly didn’t feel much younger than her. “All will be fine, Renn… I’ll… be okay. I promise you, as I promised Vim, I’ll not abandon this place just because I’m upset with those here. It’s not the first time I’ve…” Merit stopped talking, and I knew better than to pressure her to continue. I knew exactly what she was talking about.

It was sad that I was starting to have the same emotions towards everyone in the Society.

Just as I had been disappointed in those at Ruvindale… I was now similarly upset with those here.

Not a good sign, for me. After all if I grew to dislike and hate everyone, then the problem wasn’t everyone else but me.

“I’m told I’ll be heading south. Then… back west?” I said. Vim had kind of spoke about our upcoming route, but he had been doing so as I cried in his arms. I remembered it, but at the same time… didn’t.

“Unless something happens, yes. Vim rarely goes too far from the Cathedral, though it does happen occasionally. If you do end up going to lands beyond, please be careful Renn. The world is… dangerous. In more ways than one. Especially at the corners, where humans still don’t tread,” she warned me.

I nodded. “I’ll try, Merit.”

She smiled at me and then sighed. “I’ll… go now, if that’s okay. I am really, really, bad at goodbyes. I’ll break down and cry all night if I don’t,” she said.

“All right…” I nodded, and blinked watery eyes. She was leaving already?

“Goodbye Renn. Please be safe. Write to me often. Don’t let Vim force you to do anything you don’t want to do. Don’t let his burdens become yours. His shoulders are so strong that sometimes you misunderstand just how dangerous the burden can be because of it,” she said.

Nodding again at her warnings, I couldn’t help but take her words to heart. After all… I was starting to realize how serious and right such a warning was.

“Also don’t… think you need to abide by the Societies rules. They’re rules, but they’re just as faulty as the laws of humans sometimes. If you’re ever alone, or need help, and don’t know where to go… come to me Renn. Come back here, even. I’ll help you, even if they won’t,” she promised.

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Tears wrecked my eyes as I nodded and stepped forward. She happily accepted another hug.

“Thank you Merit. I’ll miss you,” I said softly.

“Mhm. Take care of yourself Renn…” she said softly.

We separated, and I noted the way she held the book close to her chest as she turned to leave. She opened the door to my room slowly… and gave me one final nod before stepping out of the room.

Taking a deep breath as she shut the door behind her, I trembled as suddenly the room felt… much colder. Too cold.

Gulping lightly, I glanced around my room.

The paintings were gone, taken by Merit… but the easel was still here. As were the other blank canvases I had planned to use.

Upon the windowsill, before the large windows… were several small plants. Most notably the tiny cactus. Which I now wondered if maybe Gerald had not just given it to me out of a simple whim.

The large bed, with the massive pillows. I rarely slept with all of them, since they were so big and fluffy that it bothered my ears.

The open bathroom, which within was memories precious.

My desk, littered with brushes and other random notes and papers. All telling of the many jobs and tasks I’ve done while here. From working in the bank, to helping Lamp and her people.

My dresser, wide and open now, had several sets of clothes within it… but I wasn’t going to pack them. Most of them had the Animalia Guild crest upon them, and something told me I shouldn’t take them. After all… I was no longer allowed to stay here.

I wasn’t allowed to be a part of the Animalia Guild anymore.

I’d never come back to this room again.

“Banished…” I whispered.

“Not entirely, Renn.”

I didn’t jump, but my ears did twitch something fierce as I turned around to look at Vim.

Frowning at him, I wondered when he had walked in. The door was closed… I hadn’t heard it open or shut again?

He smiled gently at me as he stepped forward, and glanced over at the bag on my bed.

“Basically all packed,” I said lightly.

“I see that. Sure you don’t want to take more clothes? We’re heading south, it gets hot and humid where we’re going, you might want an extra set or two for comfort,” he said.

“Ah… think so?” I nodded as I stepped over to the dresser. If he was bringing it up, it was probably true. Might as well grab some more clothes, then.

As I rummaged around the top drawer of the dresser, I tried to find within my recent memory Vim opening the door and entering the room.

I couldn’t find it.

“Vim… when’d you come in?” I asked him. He was sneaky sometimes, and honestly… I wasn’t in the greatest of conditions. But surely I would have heard the door open?

“I entered as Merit left, Renn,” Vim said softly.

Ah… had he? Really?

“I didn’t notice,” I said.

“I see that,” he said softly as he nodded.

So I really was distraught. It must be far worse than I felt, based off the way he was looking at me.

Looking away from him, I returned my attention to finding another set of appropriate clothes.

“And I know… it’s not a full banishment, like the Bell Church or Ruvindale. But I’ll treat it all the same,” I said.

“Why?” he asked.

Hesitating, I took a tiny breath as I shrugged. “I don’t want to trouble those who obviously aren’t comfortable around me,” I said.

“Hm.”

I gulped at the noise he made. Why did it sound as if he agreed with me?

“You agree with me?” I asked, unable to contain the worry.

“I do,” he said.

Grabbing the edge of the open drawer, for support as to not fall to the floor… I stared in shock at the man who had just said such a heartbreaking thing.

“Vim…” I barely got his name out.

He nodded, confirming I had heard him correctly. “They don’t deserve your presence, Renn. So yes. You have every right to ignore them,” he said.

Closing my eyes, I groaned as my assumptions were proven true.

He hadn’t said that with the same mindset as I had.

“Vim…” I groaned.

“Renn,” he said back.

Shaking my head, I did my best to not start crying. “You’re the protector! You can’t say stuff like that!” I said.

“I know. I warned you Renn. I warned you.”

Opening my eyes, I stared at the man who held my gaze without flinching.

He had told me. He had warned me.

He had told me his affection for me could cause problems. In more ways than one.

“If… if you…” I couldn’t get the rest of my thoughts in order, as to speak. I had to say it! To say something… but…

“I’ll not abandon them, for you Renn. You need not worry. I shall always return, and aid them, as needed. No matter what they do to you, or say to you,” Vim said firmly.

Although it hurt to hear those words, it also brought me relief. It washed over me in such a wave that I slowly knelt down, once again kneeling on the ground. This time though I did it out of relief and sorrow, not joy.

Vim sighed at the sight of me, but I ignored him as I focused on my breathing. I didn’t want to cry anymore, yet I was on the verge of doing so again. More fiercely than ever.

He stepped towards me, and I started to raise a hand. To shoo him away. If he wrapped me in a hug right now I would break, and I really didn’t want to spend the last few hours here in this room under such duress and turmoil… I had enough of crying and…

Instead Vim simply sat down on the ground. Next to me. He sat up against the dresser, less than half an arm’s reach away.

“I’m sorry Renn. That our Society is… broken. I’m sorry I couldn’t make a better one. I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough to keep it strong and healthy, or more of the good people alive,” Vim said.

He spoke softly and evenly… as if we were not talking about something so serious and emotional, but instead the weather.

“Is it really your fault Vim? It’s not like you can force someone to be…” I struggled to find the proper word to use.

“Better? You’d be surprised. A long time ago… I was able to make many people better. Though to be honest, they only became better thanks to the tip of a spear at their throats,” he said.

I scoffed at his words, and almost couldn’t believe the very obvious smirk on his face. He wasn’t joking, yet he found it humorous all the same.

“How did I fail Vim? Where did I go wrong? I… I don’t even feel as if I even did anything. You did all the important stuff,” I said.

“Your only failure Renn, is the thought you did so. You did well. Beyond well. You found a lost individual, who needed saving and you saved them. You saved Fly, Renn. She would have only suffered had she stayed where she was, and only would have died a horrible death. With us she has a chance to be so much more, and accomplish anything she wills to do,” Vim said.

Blinking teary eyes, I nodded. I knew he wasn’t just telling me things to make me feel better. Vim was speaking from the heart. Yet… “Yet I still failed somehow. How could I have not gotten Brom killed? How could I have saved more than just Fly? There had been so many of them down there, Vim,” I said.

“Brom’s death was far beyond your control Renn. The only way his death could have been avoided… well… I suppose if I had found that creature and killed it before it surfaced. But I didn’t do it. So there’s no point thinking about it,” he said.

I shook my head, since I didn’t believe him. There had to of been far more than just that.

“Plus… even if Brom was still alive, odds are the results would have been the same Renn. I’ve... never really said it, aloud, but regrettably because of what you are… well…” Vim sighed as he shifted, and I felt the dresser behind me move. I wasn’t leaning up against it as he was, yet I still felt it move along the floor. “You’re a predator. A real one. Then of course… you’re also very human, at least in nature. You like to help people. You like to worry about others, and aren’t afraid to help someone who needs it.”

“So it is my fault,” I whispered.

Vim shrugged, making one of the dresser’s drawers shift. “If you want to look at it that way, sure. But what are you going to do? Stop helping people? Are you going to be able to ignore it when someone needs help, Renn?” he asked me.

I shook my head. I didn’t even hesitate to do so.

“See? Exactly. So it’s… pointless to worry over it, or question it. What you’re doing is questioning the natural. The nature of you as an individual. It’d be like worrying if the sun is going to be bright tomorrow, or if the night sky will be dark. Stop worrying over the inevitable and unchangeable,” he said.

“But my actions don’t just affect me, Vim. A lot of people… this time… were affected,” I said.

“They were. But how do you know it wouldn’t have happened anyway? Or even, a far worse outcome, had you not been the one involved?” he asked.

“If it had been just you, I bet it would have gone much better,” I said.

Vim scoffed at me. “Do you not remember why we met, Renn? Lomi’s whole village is gone, because I was alone,” he said.

I blinked at his words, and shifted as to look at his face better.

He wasn’t looking at me, but he still nodded. “I warned you. If you… joined me, you’d come to hate yourself. The world. The Society,” he said softly.

“Will it always be this bad?” I asked.

“Most of the time, Renn. Between you, Fly, and Wool… we’ve had more new members recently than we’ve had in dozens of years. Yet in the same time you three have joined us, we’ve had how many deaths? How many losses? Lomi’s village. Ruvindale. We almost lost Nebl. Brom. Before Lomi’s village, I had also dealt with a Monarch that had been feeding on a whole island. They weren’t our members, but some of them had been non-humans. People, who could have been our members, had I instead found them in time before they had suffered. Just like with Fly,” Vim said.

I gulped and wished I hadn’t asked.

“It’s inevitable then, isn’t it?” I whispered.

“Yes. That’s why there’s no point in beating yourself up over it. You can fret, and cry, but don’t stop trying Renn. Don’t stop standing up tall. Don’t give up,” Vim said.

“Because if we do, then there wouldn’t be anyone else,” I said.

“Exactly, Renn. Who else is helping these people? These fools, these helpless idiots that can’t even protect themselves. People who are older than any human, some who are wiser than the greatest human philosophers, stronger than a dozen well trained knights, with more instincts than the very animals they represent… These people who are more than human, yet somehow frailer. They can’t survive alone. They need help, and no one in this whole world cares to hear their plea,” Vim said.

“That’s very similar to what she wrote in that book,” I said, remembering the page in that little white book. It was the seventh page, where it talked about how even the Gods had abandoned their children.

“When even their creators abandoned them, who else but us can they turn to?” Vim said, quoting one of the passages on that page.

“Did they?” I asked.

“Hm?”

“Were we created? And did those who did really abandon us?” I asked him.

Vim shifted a little, and I noted the way his eyes held mine.

This was one of those questions. That he didn’t like answering. That he usually didn’t.

“Yes.”

I blinked at his answer, and wondered if he had only done so because of the moment. Maybe he thought if he hadn’t, I’d have broken.

I was honestly past that. My emotions were getting under control, and I wasn’t crying anymore. In fact right now the biggest issue I had was my tail, it was hurting because I had not sat down very carefully. Luckily I wasn’t sitting on it, but it was angled painfully.

“If the only ones helping our people are us Vim, I feel rather worried for us,” I said softly.

He smirked and nodded. “Right?”

I sighed as I leaned back, to rest against the dresser. As I did I reached down to move and adjust my tail a little, so it’d not hurt as much.

“But not everyone is…” I hesitated again, and not just because I couldn’t think of the right word to use. Rather I didn’t want to say it aloud. “Merit. Tosh, too, surprisingly. And even Reatti! I got her brother killed… and she actually was able to put her hate aside, if even for a moment. We had spoken together and…” I stopped talking, since I was about to cry again.

“Mhm… yes. Tosh shouldn’t surprise you, by the way. There’s a reason he’s my friend,” Vim said.

Ah. Right. He was Vim’s friend… “Lawrence is too isn’t he? He voted no,” I said softly.

“He let the rest decide. He believes in keeping the peace, even if it hurts to do so. He… is a man who will sacrifice the world, to save the future,” he said.

I shook my head. “I don’t like that. What point is there in a future if we’re not all there to see it?”

“He sees it differently, Renn. And we’ve talked about this. You must be able to learn to cherish and protect everyone, even those with different values,” he said.

Taking a deep breath, I nodded. “Right. I know… I just…”

“Just wished, and thought, those I called friends would be better than the rest. Yes. I know,” Vim said.

“Sorry,” I whispered.

“It’s fine Renn. How do you think I feel?” I asked.

“No wonder you’re so cold sometimes. You’re numb,” I said.

He didn’t say anything, but I heard his thumb tap his knee… rather harshly. My words had bothered him.

“What would… what would Rungle and Stumble had voted?” I asked him.

“Hm? Concerning you?” he asked.

I nodded.

“Well… they’d not have voted, Renn. They were against the Society,” he said gently.

“Huh?” I looked over at Vim as he nodded.

“Not everyone agrees with the Societies rules… They never joined the Society. Didn’t believe in it.”

“But… Merit knew them,” I said softly.

“She did. Just as she didn’t join the Society either, until after her kingdom fell,” he said.

Closing my eyes, I groaned as my head started to hurt. Why were there always so many secrets?

Or well… they weren’t really secrets, probably. It was all just stuff I didn’t know, because I was so new. Because I hadn’t been involved.

Vim reached over and put his hand on my back. I tried to ignore the way he rubbed my back, since it felt good. “They would have never abandoned you Renn. Just as they had not abandoned those they had died for,” Vim said.

“They died in such a way…?” I asked.

“They did. They died because they hadn’t been willing to give up their friends. And… that is the other extreme, Renn. Those here abandoned you, for their own safety. Rungle and his family died for those who they wouldn’t abandon. You’re more like them, which worries me,” he said.

“Because it means I’ll eventually die too,” I said.

“Yes. But… if that is what you wish to die for, I could not think of anything better to do so for,” he said.

I nodded, and agreed with him there.

If not for those you cared for… then for what else?

“How long, Vim?” I asked.

“For?”

“Do I have? Before you abandon me too?” I asked.

Vim’s hand on my back came to a stop, and I did my best to keep my eyes on the ground. Near the edge of the rug we sat on. I was too afraid to look at him right now.

“I’ve never abandoned anyone Renn. Not willingly. Never without a fight. Though… I suppose you’re talking about what I had said that night, here in this room,” he said.

I nodded. “Yes. You said you either needed to abandon me… or…” I didn’t finish the sentence, since I definitely didn’t want him to try the other option instead right now. I was in no mood to be taken to bed.

“Well, by that I had not meant abandonment in full. Not like this. I rather just meant, to stop you from staying with me,” he said.

“Oh.”

“What, you interpreted it differently? Renn you’ve already noticed that I… hate a few of our members. Yet you know I still protect them all the same. Just as fiercely as the rest. You should know better,” he said.

“I guess. But still…” I shrugged.

His fingers tapped lightly on my back, as if I was a table and he bored. “But nothing. If you want to know what I feel or think of what happened, then think no further. You shouldn’t be banished or blacklisted just because bad things happened right after you arrived. It isn’t right,” he said.

“They’re not wrong though Vim. I… I might be dangerous. At least, because I’m not willing to turn a blind eye to things I see,” I said.

“That is true. But that’s a fault on them, Renn, not you. Evil thrives and festers not where evil people exist, but where good ones ignore evil and look away from it.”

“You say pretty things, sometimes,” I said as I soaked up his words.

“Sometimes? Wait till you get me really angry. My words become so eloquently beautiful that anyone who hears them pisses pure spring water and throws up rainbows and syrup,” he said.

Smiling at him, I wondered how I could ever even get him actually angry. The only few times he’s ever gotten seemingly angry with me was in the beginning, and even then it wasn’t so much anger as it was simple annoyance or disgust.

He had thought I had gotten Amber killed at first, after all.

And those times, he had been silent. Not really loud or talkative.

“And really Renn… If you’re dangerous, what am I? Don’t answer that, though, even if what you’re thinking is true,” Vim said with a small laugh.

My smile grew as I nodded. Right. If I really let what happened bother me too deeply… it was both an insult to Vim, and more.

He has been and was involved in such events far worse, and by the sounds of it… he failed often.

“I suppose if we’re going to fail and get hurt, at least we can do it together,” I said.

“There you go,” he nodded as he patted my back again.

“Did you finish whatever you had to do?” I asked.

“Hm? No. I came back to check on you because I heard Merit talking to you,” he said.

“You… heard her talking to me? Where were you?” I asked. Was he that close by?

“Don’t worry about it. We leave before the dawn. Herra’s ready already. She’s even got the horses ready already,” he said.

“We get to ride horses?” I asked.

He nodded. “At least until Herra’s home.”

Interesting. Maybe it was because he felt he was behind schedule, thanks to all that’s happened.

“Finish getting ready, Renn. And then get some sleep, if you can. We’ll be traveling quickly, if able, to make up for lost time,” Vim said as he patted my shoulder and stood up.

Staring up at him, I sniffed as he frowned down at me… and I could tell he was wondering why I hadn’t stood up with him.

“I’ll miss this place, Vim,” I said.

“I’m sure.”

“I… never thought I’d actually stay here. But honestly I think I would have done so, if I had to pick somewhere. Out of all the places I’ve been so far,” I said.

“I know.”

“Yet now… the thought disgusts me,” I said honestly.

Vim nodded.

“Make me fall in love with you Vim,” I then said.

His eyes narrowed as I slowly stood up. He held his hand out, to help me up, and I held onto it even once I was standing.

Nodding at him, I held his gaze. “Please. Make me fall in love so deeply… that I never again fall in love with anyone or anything else. So that I’ll never hurt like this again,” I said.

Vim took a small breath… and then gave me the tiniest nod I’d ever seen.