In front of us, there’s the door to the laboratory. Inside, one of those guys with a lab coat awaits. There should be four of those running slime-like monsters inside.
“Huh, huh, huh! Let’s do this! I need to relieve some stress…”
Stress generated because of the annoying prick, who’s currently observing me scornfully as I stretch.
Who do you think you are, staring at me like this? The disgusting one is you!
I try to go inside, but he stops me, barring my way with his arm. “What do you think you’re doing…?” He asks.
“Huh? Are you blind? I’m getting ready to smack that guy.” I say pointing at the Lab Assistant. The urge to punch him instead of our enemies keeps growing. “What else could I be doing?”
Did his brain melt? I’m sure that, sooner or later, all this fanaticism will affect him, so has the meltdown started?
“This is why I’m stopping you. It’s my turn now.” He answers making a smug face.
“Whaaat…!?” I shout in protest. “This is the best part, you can’t take it away from me!”
“Suck it up,” he turns around and walks into the laboratory, leaving me behind. He shakes his head. “*Sigh!* This is why muscleheads are a pain to deal with…”
You… YOU! Are you fucking with me!?
“Yes, go! Go and fight alone. Show everyone your uselessness. This time, I won’t save you if you’re about to die!”
I close my fists tightly, stopping the shaking caused because of my anger, and carefully observe his battle. I’m not going to allow a single mistake to slip by. I’ll make sure to criticize everything I can.
No way! He’s… he’s doing fine!?
“Ah… so you could do it like that…” I unconsciously mutter, surprised by the fact he’s using the enemy’s damage aura to deal with the scattered lightning rods. This way, he can focus all his attacks on the Lab Assistant and the traps will be destroyed by themselves. “Maybe he isn’t that bad, after all… No, never mind. I take it back.”
He just made the most stupid mistake: to allow the slime guys to run away. It’s a good thing I’m here, standing right next to the door’s entrance, or we would be doomed.
The slime humanoids are trying to run away from the battle inside the room, but don’t dare come close to me, and I’m blocking the only exit, so we’re safe for now.
“Weren’t you supposed to take care of it by yourself?” I say. “Then, why didn’t you stop these guys? See? This is why I wanted to take care of it myself.”
I raise my great-axe and swing it at the closest one. I have to make sure the others can’t run away, so my movements are limited. But they’re weak, I won’t have any trouble killing them.
“Huh, huh, huh! What are you hesitating for? Come at me with all you have!”
Laughing, I jump at the blue one, who was trying to sneak behind me. I turn it into a blue puddle. The yellow, green, and red soon follow the first’s fate.
“Haaa… I had to save the day again… How useless can this annoying prick be? Do you think I’m your servant, always cleaning after your mess?” I turn to him and shout out loud, so he can hear me. “Hey, I finished here. So finish it already, I don’t want to waste –”
“NOOOOOOOOO!” His scream interrupts me. Actually… it’s more like a wail, a shout filled with grief. “What did you do!?”
I’ve missed most of their fight, so I don’t know what happened, but the Lab Assistant is completely immobile. Is it dead…? No, it isn’t. It started moving again as soon as the annoying prick turned to look at me, so it was petrified.
I cross my arms, indifferent to his emotional outburst. “I fixed your blunder. You should be thanking me for saving us a lot of pain–”
“You don’t understand anything!” He points at the puddles around me. “I didn’t kill them on purpose! You RUINED IT!” He moves his arms around, gesticulating like a… like a madman. “Letting them go, and then having to chase after them through the whole dungeon is the best thing in the whole– Uugh!”
The Lab Assistant interrupts him, attacking him with his pencil. It was freed from the petrification as soon as the annoying prick looked away, so it was bound to happen.
Huh, huh, huh! So stupid. Never look away in the middle of a combat. “Such a fool…” I shrug, smiling.
He sends me a last glare before resuming the fight. I calmly observe everything.
The annoying prick doesn’t use any weapons and fights with his fists. He isn’t that bad. If only he stopped making weird cries every time he wings his fists and stopped making stupid and useless poses, he would be a decent fighter.
He can’t beat me, though. Not in a thousand tries.
As soon as he kills the Lab Assistant, he comes stomping in my direction. He’s making the same angry face as before.
“Why the fuck did you kill them? You ruined it all. I’m doing my best to show you the right path, but you ignore everything… ”
“Ruined it my ass,” I laugh. “I just saved us a lot of time. Or worse, prevented our deaths.”
“The only thing you saved us from is the real fun! The fear of the unknown, having to search for them in the intricate and unpredictable tunnels, filled with dangers and traps… Just imagine it! The feeling of despair…”
As he speaks, his face gradually turns into one of glee. In the middle, he grabs his shoulders and starts twisting around, like a maiden in love… a crazy one. He even starts moaning at the end.
“Ah, aaaaah…!”
I take a few steps backward, taking some distance just in case. Disgusting…
Is this guy for real? The first and only time I allowed them to run away, it took me a full hour to find and kill them, only to get ambushed by The Tunnels’ Nightmare on my way back…
“It’s a good thing I was here,” I try my best to ignore him. “Let’s continue.”
*Khm!* He fakes a cough and calms down. “Well, the damage is already done, so we might as well continue.”
What damage!? Killing those monsters is ‘damage’? In what world? This guy is in a worse mental state than I initially thought…
No, no. I shouldn’t be surprised. He’s the Insane King! He CAN’T be normal.
“So, did you take a proper look at my amazing display of skill and knowledge?” He asks. “Are you ready to admit you’re nothing compared to me?”
I force myself from pounding the smug face he’s making after having ‘accomplished’ his deed, opening the door to the next area instead.
I’ll lose if I argue with a madman. I shouldn’t lower myself to his level.
“Are we going to enter The Freezer, or do you want to skip it?” I ask.
“Why would we skip it? Such a blasphemy. Of course, we’re going in. Are you a coward?”
“Stop calling me a coward!”
It’s getting harder and harder to hold myself back as the Dungeon Invasion progresses.
----------------------------------------
“You must be feeling it by now, right? The sense of awe at His creations. The dread at what’s to come, the despair it generates… Aaah, aaaaaaaah!”
Love this novel? Read it on Royal Road to ensure the author gets credit.
Preoccupied with my problems, I try my best to ignore him.
Where are they…? Why can’t I find any of them today, when they always appear as soon as I lower my guard?
I’m searching for one of those transparent MP-draining globs. I want to know where they are because I don’t want to die; but most importantly, I want to get rid of this annoying prick as soon as possible.
If he dies because of such a monster, he can’t blame me. Even if he does, I can always say I didn’t notice and he’ll have to suck it up.
Paying close attention to the water film on the ground, I notice some movement. “Finally, there it is…”
I start walking sideways, making sure to avoid looking in the monster’s direction. When he sees my actions, the annoying prick mutters something to himself. I can’t properly hear what he’s saying because of the echo, but I wouldn’t want to anyway.
“Oh, finally…! He’s finally showing signs of awakening. What a tough nut to crack… Fufufu! Hahaha!”
He starts laughing while making an exaggerated pose. Hmm, I’ve seen this before… where was it again?
Laugh all you want, you crazy, annoying chicken. Keep up like this and you’ll soon be joining the dead. I’ll be the last one to laugh! Huh, huh, huh!
The only thing I need to keep an eye on for is those exploding monsters, the Bombers. The other monsters aren’t dangerous to me, and the slime-bats are just an annoyance as long as I can slam my head into a wall when they try to choke me.
It’s fun watching the annoying prick run around like a headless chicken when they choke him. I’ll never understand why he laughs instead of crying. It spoils part of the fun, but it’s enjoyable anyway.
We continue like this for a while.
I keep checking the annoying prick’s status to see how his MP is doing. It’s steadily decreasing, but he has a lot more than me, it’ll take a while for him to die.
We turn around the corner. In front of us, there’s a four-meter-tall high-security door. It’s more than twenty centimeters thick, and it’s bust open. Something huge and powerful must have come out of here.
Given the nature of this damned dungeon, I’m sure this means a new monster is here. An extremely dangerous one.
There are bite marks all along the edge of the broken area, so whatever was inside bit its way out. Literally.
How monstrous do you need to be to bite through such a thick, reinforced metal door?
I always wondered why was this area sealed if there was nothing really dangerous inside, only weird monsters. I’m sure it wasn’t implemented yet.
“Oh, shit. This is new. We’re doomed…” I close my eyes and cover my face, resigned.
Evil Mastermind, you did it again…! You fucked with me right at the worst moment, as you always do. What did I do to you? Why do you hate me so much? Why can’t you allow me to crush this insane fanatic?
Why is it ALWAYS ME!?
Why do I have to encounter all the new stuff before anybody else!? As much as I enjoy keeping my guide updated, it doesn’t mean I want to discover everything by myself! Doubly so when it means I’ll die soon after!
My muscles, my most loyal friends. You betrayed me today... You told me today was the day I cleared the dungeon, so why do I have to die instead?
“At least I’ll enjoy one last fight to the death...” I pump myself up for the inevitable. “Yeah, let’s do it! Let’s go out with a bang! Huh, huh, huh!”
“Yes! YES! Fuck YEEEEES!” Contrary to my reaction, the annoying prick starts jumping around in joy before dropping to his knees and praying. “I thank you, oh Great Mad Rat for giving me the chance to experience Your great and amazing machinations. I accept the immense honor of being the first one to experience your latest creation. I’ll make sure to learn everything I can. I pray for the continued success of your reign. Because All Shall Despair! Fufufu! Hahaha!”
I observe everything with disgust.
If you’re so enthusiastic about it, I might as well allow you to be the first to taste this ‘despair’ you so much enjoy.
*RAAAAAAAUGOOOOOH!*
We hear a loud roar coming from the other side of the door, from inside the dark room.
It’s now or never. “Enjoy your despair,” I say, kicking the annoying prick, and forcing him to move closer to the hole. “I’m doing you a favor, huh, huh, huh!”
“W-wha…?”
Surprised by the roar and my actions, he can’t react in time. He tries to steady himself but ends up falling to the ground. At the same time, a fist bigger than his head appears from the hole, blowing him away.
Following the fist, the rest of the body slowly emerges. The almost four-meter-tall monster has the unmistakable head of an orc, including its tusks, on a troll’s body. But its body is chubbier, with fat clumps all over its body, and has a grotesque mouth in the stomach area.
At its sight, all my fear vanishes and is replaced with wrath. My fists start shaking.
“What’s wrong with that monstrosity? How dare you defile the majestic body of an orc and a troll like this!?” I shout. “This is… this is…”
I’m so angry, I can’t find words to express it.
It was ok with the wererabbit-orcs because their essence was still there, but the Evil Mastermind went too far this time. This monster doesn’t have the majestic build of a troll, nor the ruthless determination of an orc.
He turned two amazing units into an such aberration! Poor comrades in arms, I’ll make sure to avenge you!
*Thump, thump!* The monster stomps its way towards its prey: the annoying prick.
“Ugh…” He stabilizes himself but instead of running away, he starts laughing. “Fufufu! Hahaha! YES! This is it! Hit me more. Allow me to be the first one to despair with this new creation! I’ll make sure to enjoy the best I can.”
I was starting to feel bad for him, but not anymore…
You can go and die freely.
The two start fighting. I can feel my body heat up at the spectacle. It’s a fight against a powerful monster! Even if it means I die, my whole body is asking me to go and join them.
But I stop myself. I’ll first let him die first to secure my win and then I’ll go. I don’t want to be the first to fight it anyway, so this is perfect.
I observe the monster’s movements. The fanatic strikes back with all his strength, but he barely puts a dent in its HP bar. It must be because of the troll’s Regeneration.
“Fufufu! Hahaha! Yes, continue like this. I’ll struggle as best as I can, while you destroy all my chances at survival. Oooh, so good… I can feel the despair already! Aaah, aaaaaah…! Fufufu! Hahaha!”
This is bad for my sanity, so I turn around, close my eyes, cover my ears, and wait for the punching noises to finish. They’re loud so I can still hear them.
*Punch! Crunch!*
“Fufufu! Hahaha! Moooore!”
*Crash! Smack!*
“...”
All the sound disappears. Shortly after, at the thumping of the monster’s steps getting closer, I ready myself for battle.
“Yes, come here. Show me what a real fight is! I’m not as weak as that guy there, so don’t expect an easy win. Huh, huh, huh!”
I have a chance at winning this, but it doesn't matter. Even if I win, it’ll take me everything I have, and I’ll die to whatever comes afterward.
My purpose is to enjoy this fight before I die!
We exchange powerful blows. Thanks to my battleaxe, I have the same reach as the monster, but I’m better. The monster starts accumulating damage until it decides to start using skills. Then, I start taking damage too.
“Huh, huh, huh! Earth this! Mighty Blow!”
A large chunk of the monster’s HP disappears, and the Regeneration starts filling it back up. In retaliation, the monster swings its fist at me. I parry it, but before contact the fist blurs, changing its trajectory and hitting me anyway.
“Hey, that’s cheating!” I complain. “Well, it doesn’t matter. This is the second assault, let’s see if you can survive this, huh, huh, huh!”
Bloodlust triggers after I take the damage, increasing my attack speed and damage. After this, it’s me who holds the upper hand, and the monstrosity’s HP quickly falls. Except for the blurry firsts, I’m now able to demolish this monster.
“Is that all you have? I thought it was going to be harder than– Ugh!” As soon as the monster’s HP falls below 50% its attack speed increases too, taking me by surprise and landing a hit. “Of course, you have Bloodlust too… We’re in an equal position now, let’s have a fair match to the death! Huh, huh, huh!”
How long has it been since I’ve enjoyed this so much? Was it the last time I tried to fight the Monster Train, maybe?
Our fight continues.
“No, wait. Something’s wrong…” I keep track of the enemy HP bar as always, but it doesn’t decrease. “Is it a bug? Why does it not move from 50%...?” It doesn’t matter how many times I hit the monster, its HP bar stays in the middle point. “Let’s try this, then…”
I use Mighty Blow once again, dealing a large amount of damage. As I expected, the monster’s HP is reduced. “It must have been a bug. Let’s continue.”
But it doesn’t matter how fast I attack, or how accurate my hits are. The monster’s HP keeps increasing instead of decreasing. Until it reaches the 50% mark, and it stays there.
I stop attacking to check what’s going on, and once Regeneration pushes the HP over the halfway point, the Bloodlust deactivates as normal.
“What the fuck!? It’s impossible to kill it like this! What’s going on?”
How does it heal so fast? Even with the Troll’s regeneration, it shouldn’t be able to heal as fast as it does! And why does it–
My thoughts are interrupted when the monster opens the mouth in its stomach and bites me, killing me in a single hit.
You have died!
“I can’t understand anything!” I shout, in my phantasmal form. “This… is it even possible to beat this monster in a fight…?”
Unlike the previous times when I lost a fight, I don’t see any way to beat this monster in a 1vs1.
“Good, good! Can you feel it? The sense of exhilaration produced by the despair? Don’t you think it’s amazing? Fufufu! Hahaha!”
Now that both of us are dead, we can hear and see each other again.
“Shut up,” I say. “I won this duel, so you’ll have to accept I’m better than you.”
In any way you look at it, from skill to experience to knowledge, is evident I won this match.
“NEVER! It was a fluke, so I won’t. It doesn’t count if there was a new monster neither of us knew about.”
[https://i.imgur.com/ZGSK4Pl.png]
This was just the first of a long list of duels between the two leaders of their respective factions.