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The Golden Quiche
Chapter 80: Pedestal

Chapter 80: Pedestal

Grillby didn’t expect to meet so many people. Just the weight alone overburdened the borrowed driving service.

He came with only one car and they have an injured person. Priority goes to those who need medical attention. The rest will thus have to wait for round two.

Cenna knocked on the glass to ask the driver to wind down his window. Explained that the tall skeleton needed to go straight to the Magus Association’s Headquarters.

“No delays, and don’t take the scenic route!”

The cool man of fire walked over to Undyne and said, “…Please pass Papyrus to me… I’ll accompany Sans…”

“Ah, right. Thanks.” Grillby should be on Sans’ good side, so she passed the bloke over without any hesitations.

He gently carried the tall one into the car. The big brother followed right after. Undyne thanked her senior for the kind deed and watched the car drive off into the distance.

Cenna excused herself to use her phone. Called her contacts, arranged for more rides, and assorted other logistics that needed ironing.

Once she’s done, she explained to the rest of the group. “I managed to get two more cars. One will take Doctor Alphys, Asgore, and Frisky back to the garden home. Then the other will fetch myself, Toriel, and the Captain here. Sounds good?”

“It is,” Toriel nodded, “Thank you very much.”

Not much went on during the waiting period. There were some quiet, hushed questions, followed by equally quiet reassurance.

Undyne looked at Ebott Town’s sleepy night lights. Undercurrents of uncertainty lay beneath.

She’s determined to protect her people.

The other two police cars arrived at the mountain trail soon enough. The group split up according to their agreed arrangement.

Cenna managed to steal one more head rub on Frisk before she hopped back to duty. Looking at the little bits of friendly gestures uplifted the fish lady’s heart.

To the Town Hall! One of the first buildings to pop up in Ebott Town. Before, it was nothing more than the ivy-ridden remains of a burnt barn.

In true Underground fashion, the monsters scraped the remnants and built a new building. Planned the rest of the Ebott Town from there onwards. Giving new life to the old had been their thing for ages.

On most days, it’s an official house of government. Right now it’s a makeshift police station.

Dogamy and Dogaressa said that their police partners placed the trespassing humans in the meeting room.

The Magus stormed right in.

Undyne wondered what’s wrong: the reaction seemed a bit more personal than expected. However, duty distracted her concern and curiosity.

In the meantime, the Queen and the Captain attended to their respective duties in different areas of the Hall. There’s much ground to cover.

Just when the buff bunny and dragon couple presented their report, Undyne heard a small explosion.

It came from the holding room.

“Dude. That’s, like, totally magic,” said the bunny.

“Any monsters in there?” Undyne asked.

The dragon shook his head. “…No.”

The bunny nodded, “Heard from the Magi fellows that they may be lightning-head punks. Pretty dangerous for us. So, like, we let the humans deal with each other.”

Undyne’s detective anime protagonist instincts kicked in. “I’m gonna check it out. Watch my back, okay?”

After they saluted, she headed straight to the source.

She walked right into utter chaos.

Cenna’s fellow colleagues had glued her transformed SOUL to the wall with a mixture of purple and green seals. They required the full focus of their casters just to keep it there.

Two others tried to restrain her physical body the old-fashioned grappling way.

The far end of the table and a few unfortunate chairs now lay about as toothpick-sized splinters. The kind of damage left behind fit the description of an explosion-based magic.

On the other side, the group of terrified criminals huddled together in a tight ball. They stayed far away from the site of destruction.

“P-police brutality! This is police brutality!” a woman exclaimed. “Magic should be banned!”

Cenna yelled back: “Might as well ban breathing all together, yeah?! I feel fucking sorry for your kid, Linda.”

“Hey, I wasn’t the one who abandoned her sibling to foster care!”

The bird-shaped SOUL then broke free from its restraints. From its beak, it fired a yellow hailstorm of bullets.

Now the lopsided table had more holes than a mouse-approved cheese. Anime was real once more.

“You dare say that again?” so said the Magus.

This Linda must be either stupid, gutsy, or both. There’s a sense of defiance in her pose and she’s not backing down.

“It’s the truth,” said Linda. “You want to kill me? Go right ahead. That’ll just prove Gungnir is right!”

As if the fallout between Sans and Gaster hadn't soured the day enough. Now it’s two human ladies who had their own brand of bad bones to pick on.

Undyne knew she had to act fast. She could see in Cenna’s eyes that she will answer the provocation without mercy.

What should she do? Throw a spear at the skeptics, turning them green? No way. They’ll just accuse her for inflicting harm, even if it gives them shielding.

Grab the bird? No, Cenna was an experienced fighter. If she could fight Sans with her magic, there’s no way an ambush of that kind will work.

Then there’s only one other option.

Target the body.

“Get away from her!” Undyne yelled. She then charged forward like her life depended on it.

The Magi let go of their grip just in time. If they’re any slower, they would have a first-hand taste of The Suplex Queen’s might.

Wham! One swift throw on the floor and Cenna was down for the count.

Without the caster’s conscious focus, pieces of the bird-shaped SOUL returned to their original form. The yellow heart then floated back into her chest.

“She’ll be alright.” Contrary to popular belief, Undyne knew how to fight without inflicting harm. It was one of King Asgore’s earliest lessons.

Instead of being thankful, Linda seemed discomforted by the monster’s presence. Maybe even disgusted. “…Did you really have to butt in?”

Undyne clicked her tongue. This woman is a piece of work. No wonder Cenna blew her top.

So she said, “It’s either I butt in, or you get a trip to the ER. Look lady, sounds like you got a kid waiting for you at home. How would they feel if Mommy ended up dead because she can’t keep her fucking mouth shut?”

“‘He’,” the other lady grumbled. “He’s a boy. Don’t bring your third-gender nonsense into the picture. I can’t believe you let your Ambassador embrace the queer culture.”

“Okay. Fine. Your son won’t be happy either way. Also leave Frisk out of this. I still have no damn idea about their gender and you know what, it’s not important. All that matters now is that NOBODY dies under my watch. You included.”

Undyne scooped the downed Magus off the ground and hurled her over the shoulder. Glaring at Linda’s gang, she gave one last warning:

“Don’t make my job difficult. Just. Don’t.”

What a toxic atmosphere. No wonder none of the Royal Guard members wanted to stay.

Undyne carried the dazed Cenna all the way to the cafeteria. Set her down on the bench and waited for her to recover.

If you discover this narrative on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen. Please report the violation.

The Magus soon groaned, slinging her arm over her eyes to block out the light. “Guh. I don’t wanna get up.”

“Are you Sans or what?” the fish lady asked back.

It prompted a laugh. “Oh god, not you too. Cinnamon Roll called me a tall girly Sans once, and I can’t believe just how damn right he is.”

“You wanna chug down some ketchup?”

“Nah man. I hate that stuff to be honest.”

“Good. Then you’re only half of a tall girly Sans.”

More bitter laughter. Undyne squinted. This woman had her own share of major issues. She wondered if it’s possible to get her to talk about them…

Too bad the kid didn’t follow. Frisk would be a ton better in the talking game, but it’s unreasonable to depend on them all the time.

What would they do?

Food and drink are the best icebreakers. Might as well try that.

“You want a drink?” Undyne asked.

“Sure. But, I’m actually more hungry than anything else.”

The Popato Chisps vending machine stood right next to the regular drinking fare. That should do it.

Undyne bought two cans of cold coffee and some chisps. Drank one can for herself, and set the rest down on the table. The sound of rustling salty treats motivated Cenna to sit up.

“Thanks.”

The human lady ate the chips one at a time, but they vanished quick. Then there’s the coffee: it’s as though she’s guzzling down some high-alcohol liquor.

“You know this Linda woman?” asked Undyne.

Cenna answered, “Yeah. Classmates. Juuuust like Mez and the Persona. Go fucking yay.”

There goes another shot.

“How old is her kid anyway?”

“About a year younger than Frisky.”

The fish started counting the years. If those two ladies were classmates, and they were still in school when Frisk was born… “Wait. Are you telling me she’s a teenaged mom?”

“Bingo.” Cenna took out her wallet and smacked it down on the table. “Buy me a few more cans, will ya? And an extra bag of chips. Use everything in there if you need to.”

Looking inside the wallet, it’s clear that this woman didn’t carry much money. Was she underpaid? It couldn’t be. Someone with rare talent like hers should have a pretty good paycheck.

Where did all that cash go?

Undyne’s conscience wouldn’t let her use the limited funds in peace. She folded the wallet and passed it back to its owner.

Flashing her huge trademark grin, she said, “Don’t worry, treat’s on me. And ‘no’ is not an answer!”

“Awww thank ya lots, Captain.”

Hopefully, she didn’t need to buy any more than requested.

The empty cafeteria echoed from the metallic pop. Cenna started her story. “I found that out on my first PR field trip. I’m good with kids apparently. Pretty face. Sporting personality. Fresh and talented Vanquisher. So, the brass paired me up with a senior to educate the little ones.”

“It’s all fine and dandy until I saw her pick up her tyke. That’s when it hit me: Linda was a mom. Raised him together with her parents and some friends. Fucking lightning-head friends.”

Undyne commented, “Let me guess. She met them from those teenaged-parents support groups.”

“Yup. Just great, isn’t it? The best time to rope someone into your bullshit. They helped her lots. And that’s why she thinks they’re the best in the world. Logical, yeah? I mean, I ain’t any different.”

Half a can gone in three seconds. “Yo Captain, ever wondered how I became a witch?”

“No,” Undyne replied, “But you got me curious now.”

She began her tale with her debt-ridden uncle. Undyne had heard that story before, but this human lady repeated it anyway.

Cenna then talked about her first birthday cake. How she cried not because of the generosity, but the fact that she didn’t know her own birthday to begin with.

Undyne wanted to say that it wasn’t a big deal. She doesn’t know her own birthday either. But… she relented. Her life was pretty good despite being an orphan. The Underground watched out for children one way or another, and she’s lucky to be fed for free. Then, things got better when Asgore took her under his wing.

The first can, finished. Soon, right after that, it’s the second. The monster was pretty sure that it’s not healthy for humans to drink that fast.

Cenna talked about how she discovered her talent for magic. Grew curious of her Magi family’s work and tried to emulate them. Ended up as a big success. Everyone threw a celebration. For the first time, she felt valued. Empowered.

She would go out to the playground and use her powers to scare the bullies away. Tossed them around as free and effortlessly as the monsters of myth.

The ignorant non-Magi people of the neighbourhood feared her. Accused her as a witch.

But she laughed.

Laughed like a true witch of fantasy.

Laughed in the same borderline psychotic streak she had became famous for today.

She confessed: “When they called me less than human, I was fucking stoked! I hated being a vanilla human. Powerless… It’s boring, it’s frustrating, it’s way too bloody close to my biological parents!”

There goes the third can of coffee and the second packet of Popato Chisps. This human had unhealthy levels of sodium, sugar, and caffeine running through her systems now.

“I was like what, six?” she said, “Seven? Not even in school, and I ain’t sure if my bio parents gave enough fucks to put me in one.”

“My home was like, a trash dump disguised as an apartment. And I exist only because of an accident. I ain’t even sure who’re my real Mom and Dad. I just slap those titles on the one male and one female adult that I remember, just to keep things convenient.”

“They’re always drunk or high. And they’d beat the shit outta me because I’m a hungry mouth to feed. Sucking away their precious cash, you know. When you’re poor everything’s so dang bloody expensive that it costs blood.”

Undyne had no words. It’s the kind of background she had only heard from fiction washed down from the river. She thought it’s just angsty, edgy stuff to pull on the heartstrings of readers.

To think it was based on real stories… it blew her mind. If that’s all Chara heard about, no wonder they became so bitter.

Does Frisk know anything about human society’s dark side?

Of course they do.

Cenna continued her story: “One day, they forgot to lock the door. So this sick little kid thought, ‘I can finally go to a place where kind people will give me ice cream for free’. And, ‘I'll get a real bed to sleep in, complete with nice hot meals’.”

“I don’t even know what it’s called. But I knew what it’s supposed to look like. So I walked aaaaall the way there.”

She started to cackle.

“It’s a hospital,” Cenna said, “A damn HOSPITAL! This filthy brat thought a hospital is heaven on earth. Do you know how fucked up that is?!”

“And you know what’s the kicker? If I wasn’t so stupid, I’d be dead by sunrise. God, the docs were amazed I could even walk to begin with.”

“Yeah. I got my ice cream, bed, and hot food for free. That’s ‘cause Social Services paid them for me. I even got my first teddy bear. Never had a real toy before that. Sad, yeah?”

Then.

All that front came crashing down.

The hot-headed, ever-confident, cool Magus broke down into a puddle of tears. Right before the Suplex Queen, of all people.

She confessed between the sobs. “I know myself. I can see where things went wrong. God, I made Mez the freaking stoic vampire flip shit over me! You know how much it takes for him to do that? Lots.”

“If I could punch him over his stupid shit, what makes you think I won’t do the same with Frisky?”

“When I heard Sans and god damn Linda raised their little tykes, I was fucking ashamed of myself. If they could do it then why the fuck can’t I? I bet Mez and Lucy would be more than happy to help me out and yet… yet I gave them up to foster care!”

“I’m scared. I’m scared that I’d… I’d… I’d hate them for being a burden. Like how. My old folks. Used to beat me up for just existing.”

For Undyne, it’s a moment of epiphany. Hearing just how bad things were in Cenna’s past put her actions in perspective.

In the end, she chose to secure Frisk’s safety at the cost of their relationship.

The urge of action spurred Undyne to smack her hands on Cenna’s teary cheeks. Held them tight and turned her head so they met eye-to-eye.

So the strongest fish said: “You need to stop putting those two on a pedestal. And I mean it. Stop. S. T. O. P.”

“Eh?” Cenna was more confused by the action than the statement.

“Linda kept her kid. So what? Do you think it’s healthy for anyone to stay long term with her brand of overt racism? Hell, I’m not even sure if her kid can stand her!”

“And Sans. Goddammit Sans. That guy is more opaque than a freaking brick wall. He could pull it off because he’s a genius with Gaster’s support. But I’ll be frank, he’s nuts. I’m sure something may have snapped in the background and Paps is too damn innocent to notice.”

“Like you said, YOU know yourself! Not Linda. Not Sans. Not any other damn critic out there. Raising a baby is NOT easy! I know it’s a hard decision and you struggled like hell for Frisk’s well-being. But the most important thing is the NOW!”

“You’re here for the kid. You’re helping us, making sure those freaking lightning-head punks don’t tear the town apart.”

“You’re doing the right things, right now! THAT is waaaaay more important than your perceived past mistakes!”

Undyne’s softened to a sympathetic gaze. Toned down her volume to match. “Got it?”

It turns out that Cenna’s monster-like side was more than just her magic. Though she nodded to acknowledge the hopeful speech, she wailed louder: the dam of professionalism had burst in all its entirety.

“You okay with a hug?” asked Undyne.

Cenna let her body lean forward. That’s a yes. So she wrapped her arms around the human and let her cry it out.

Though her cold, scaly skin won’t have the same warming effect as Toriel’s fur, it’s the thought that counts.

The clock ticked past Midnight. It’s Wednesday now.

The Queen returned from her important business.

The Magi made an agreement with the police, Toriel explained. In return for securing Mount Ebott, they promised to provide a proper resolution to the missing children’s case.

With that agreement signed and in paper, the non-magical cops sent the trespassers back to their homes.

“That’s the best we can do,” said Cenna. “Otherwise, sensationalists will set the world ablaze with their crackpot nonsense.”

The goat nodded in acknowledgement. “Thank you so much, Miss Cenna. I apologize for putting your people in a difficult situation.”

“Eh, it’s a lose-lose situation for everyone involved. Us humans get bloody paranoid over the wrong things sometimes.”

Undyne nodded. She then asked, “Any news about Paps?”

“He’s fine. Our Chronographer is taking care of him,” Cenna answered.

The Magus rubbed the back of her neck, feeling downright awkward. “Hey, Miss Toriel, er, I mean, Your Majesty. I wanna confess something.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah. Um. Remember that time when I asked ya to spy on my convo with Mez?”

If Undyne had a dollar for every brow-raising moment, she’d be set for months.

“Yes,” said Toriel.

The awkwardness intensified. “It’s, uh, an act. Mez decided to play the bad guy’s role. Be the punching bag. If you guys went up against Gungnir or some other crappy political group, it might…”

With a smile, the queen said, “It might get blown out of proportion, right? I figured that out a long while ago. If I decided to fight against the Magi, no doubt he’ll explain the full story whenever appropriate.”

“In hindsight, it’s the only time you ever addressed him by a proper title. Rather unnatural there.”

“Aww shucks. You’re sharp.”

Undyne wondered if it might be better for the town if Toriel returned to politics. She had the skills for management. But then, she was so much happier being a teacher. Would it be right to sacrifice her dream for the good of the community?

Only Toriel herself could answer this question.

They said their goodnights and went back to their resting stops. Cenna, the inn. Toriel, her home. And Undyne, Asgore’s house.

Undyne kept thinking about the events that transpired today…

The Genocider’s story.

Sir Philip’s plea.

Chara’s background.

And the final Persona’s fight with the Vampire of Time.

From what she understood, humans were not supposed to have strong magic. Yet that battle took all the preconceived notions and shoved them down a shredder.

Were they talented people like Cenna, or is there more to it?

Cenna is strong. I won’t deny that.

But her firepower is nothing against my spear. I could deflect them without any problems. Is it because she lacks determination?

Determination is a Living Victory thing, right? Makes me wonder if it had a role in making that Persona’s punch so dang super powerful.

Undyne stared at her own hands.

Alphys had already examined her physiology. Noted Undyne had elevated levels of Determination for a monster, and how it could kill her if she pumped out too much.

What if someone with more experience examined her? A person with a cross discipline of combat, medicine, and magic…

There’s only one that fit the bill. Unfortunately, it’s also the one man with a worse track record than Sans.

God, must all the good info be in the hands of Doctor Gaster? Seriously.

Still, I can’t rest on my laurels. It’s time to hammer together my new training plan. Even freaking Papyrus is now ahead of me…

If I don’t improve myself, I’ll be as bad as that Genocider jerk!