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The Golden Quiche
Chapter 134: Illusion Road

Chapter 134: Illusion Road

‘Though battered and bruised, the hero knew there’s no time to rest. Dear brother had made the universe his enemy.’

‘Heartbeats thundered as drums of war. The bounty price piled by the minute.’

‘Yet the young hero was not perturbed. Rather, joyful relief filled his heart. The coolest brother that Papyrus had admired still existed: not lost to the slobbish caricature of a wannabe comedian.’

‘That alone inspired The Great Papyrus to believe in the smallest glimmer of hope.’

Since Papyrus was a little babybone, Sans had always been a major part of his life.

The parents of other children tend to look at him with a sense of pity. Papyrus didn’t understand why. The teachers tried to explain with great reluctance, so afraid to break his heart.

‘It’s because you’re an orphan.’

He still didn’t get it. Why should he be sad over folk he had never met?

After all, he had the coolest brother in the world.

There was nothing that Sans couldn’t do. He knew everything like the back of his hand, from knowledge to application, and never failed to inspire.

Papyrus did his best to imitate him. Learn his skills and tricks. Ended up with the top-three students in magic class.

Then one day… Sans stopped functioning. He wasted his days at the bar. Never cleaned his room. Slept more than he should. The coolest brother he knew ‘vanished’ under slothful ways.

It was only then Papyrus understood the pain of orphanhood.

For ten long years, Papyrus tried to get Sans back on his feet.

For ten long years, Papyrus tried to be living proof of all things right.

For ten long years, Papyrus tried to catch up to his brother's legend.

If he must be honest with himself, he thought his labour would never bear fruit.

Then, today, the younger brother gazed upon more than a mere return of that lost glory. The impossibly lazy one transcended beyond the limits of ordinary mortals.

It brought forth a mountain of complex emotions.

Anger.

Fear.

Confusion.

Worry.

Annoyance.

Despair.

Papyrus’ bones quaked. Their marrows were filled with grief over that man’s dark decisions, and joyful pride for his accomplishments.

“Are you alright?”

He looked to the side. Frisk had their brows frowned in worry.

After a whole lot of mental fiddling, he let the roaring ocean of complication settle into a still lake of realisation: as smooth as glass.

“I’M HAPPY.” He said.

Everyone gave him funny looks.

“Have you gone nuts?” Flowey put them to words. “Do you honestly approve of Smiley Trashbag’s plans?!”

“OH COURSE NOT!” Papyrus replied. “I’M HAPPY FOR PERSONAL REASONS.”

“What?! I don’t get you!”

Undyne’s face changed. “I do. But, Paps… is that really a good thing? I mean. He makes the worst enemy.”

“THAT’S AN EXCELLENT IDEA!”

“Wait!”

Papyrus yelled his challenge straight at Sans’ face. The furnace of passion reignited in his SOUL.

“SAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!!!”

“I, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, WILL CATCH UP TO YOUR NEWFOUND AWESOMENESS! IN RETURN, YOU WILL NOT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING HALF-BAKED!”

“NO LAZINESS!”

“NO SLOPPINESS!”

“NO SHRUGGING APATHY!”

“YOU MUST USE ONLY THE BEST OF THE BEST WORLDS!!!”

“FIGHT US! DON’T HOLD BACK! OTHERWISE YOU WON’T BASK IN MY FULL GLORY! NYEH HEH HEH!”

Flowey exclaimed, “You can’t be serious!”

“You know what, I’m gonna agree.” Undyne grinned fin to fin, filled with anticipation for battle. “No more stupid running!”

Sans meanwhile… laughed. It wasn’t maniacal or cynical. ‘Impressed’ might be the closest match.

“I see what you did there, bro.” He said, “You know how I work, and you’re gaming it to the max. Challenge accepted. Won’t settle for anything less than the best.”

“In return, you guys have to work together. Pool together your hopes. Dreams. Power of friendship and so on. Heh, that’s a nice cliché, ain’t it?”

“WE PROMISE.” Papyrus replied.

“A promise it is.” Sans began to retreat into the fog. “See you on the other side, brother.”

“WHICH SIDE?” Papyrus hollered back.

“That depends on you.”

He vanished. More exclamations of frustration filled the air. But, Papyrus paid no heed.

DID SANS JUST GIVE ME A CLUE?

YES. THAT’S RIGHT. WE CAN STILL MEET HIM AT OUR SIDE OF REALITY!

Without warning, he pressed down the acceleration pedal. Inertia jolted all eight other passengers in the car.

Frisk’s face didn’t change. But, their tone of voice did. They said: “A warning would have been nice.”

“I’M VERY SORRY,” Papyrus replied, “BUT WE CANNOT DALLY IN THE SLIGHTEST. WE MUST CATCH UP WITH SANS!”

“And do what?”

“BE THE BEST PEST IN HISTORY, NYEH HEH HEH!”

The human chuckled. At least they found that funny.

“…We still have a chance of victory?” asked Toriel, concerned.

“YES, QUEEN TORIEL. BECAUSE OUR REALITY IS THE BEST REALITY.”

“It is?”

“ONLY IF WE MAKE IT SO!”

King Asgore thought this was the best opportunity to make a formal apology. “Oh… In that case, I’m deeply sorry. I shouldn’t have surrendered so soon.”

The Great Papyrus didn’t mind. “THAT’S FINE, YOUR MAJESTY! THE TRADE DIDN’T HAPPEN.”

The car continued to zip down the road. As time went by, the gang began to notice a certain… oddity.

No matter how far or fast they drove, Sans Serif was nowhere in sight.

“THAT’S WEIRD. I’M VERY SURE MY BROTHER COULDN’T HAVE FLOWN VERY FAR WITH THOSE UNWIELDY WINGS.”

Gaelic searched high and low. The fire burned bright enough for Papyrus to see the light reflected on the dashboard.

The attempt ended in frustration. “Argh that hollow bonerot! Ah cannae find a speck o’ the angel anywhere. This accursed fog be far too thick.”

“It bothers me too.” Gaster mused. “It’s such an unnatural presence in The Void.”

“Agreed.” Lucidia responded, “Query: how big is this nebula?”

Nebulae, or ‘colorful space clouds’ as Papyrus calls them, are full of dust, hydrogen, helium and other ionized gases. Much like this fog.

Alphys stammered, “I really hope this anime moment isn’t real. But w-w-what if we’re trapped?”

“B-b-because the fog only thickened after you travelled PAST the last tunnel and we have not seen a new one since then so maybe maybe just maybe we’ve been driving in circles???”

Papyrus tightened his grip on the steering wheel. “YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.”

If the dashboard wasn’t full of vital equipment, Undyne would have punched it. “More timewasters?!? Is Sans still trying to toy with us??”

“NO. THIS ISN’T A JAPE. IT’S TOO COMPLICATED TO BE ONE.”

Frisk stared back, dumbfounded. “What do you mean, Papyrus?”

“HE’S TESTING US. FORTUNATELY SO. OTHERWISE, HE WOULD HAVE BLASTED US TO OBLIVION FROM THE VERY BEGINNING.”

“A test?” Frisk rubbed their chin. “Trial of The Crimson Hall, Version Sans?”

“YES, FRISK! YOUR GENIUS MATCHES MINE, NYEH HEH HEH!”

“SANS WANTS TO KNOW IF WE HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO CHANGE THE FUTURE. AND HE’S PUTTING US ON A STRICT TIMER. BUT, I’M CONFIDENT WE CAN PULL THROUGH!”

“FIRST THING’S FIRST, DO WE HAVE ANYTHING TO GET RID OF THIS IRRITATING FOG?”

More pondering from the human.

“I have an idea!” Frisk pressed a button and retreated all the way to the backmost row. Papyrus kept watch of their actions through the rear-view mirror.

“Mom. Can you make a lantern?”

“Of course, my child.”

The Boss Monsters combined their efforts to create a stable ball of flame. Then, Frisk imbued it with a Yellow Mark. The white monster magic gained a golden sheen.

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“Okay Dad. We’re gonna poke this onto the trident. Turn it into a lamp.”

“Golly, that sounds interesting.”

King Asgore raised the tip up high. Within moments, the shine of Justice revealed Truth.

Vast twisting and turning roads curled over their heads.

Where’s the beginning?

Where’s the end?

Nobody knows.

Alphys gasped. “A-a Möbius Strip!”

Cenna dropped her jaw. “The heck?! We’ve been driving on that all the while?”

“Affirmative.” added Lucidia. “As long as Sans Serif maintains a set central gravity point for our vehicle, we’re tricked into believing this continuous surface is a single flat path.”

“Then what about the weird worlds?”

For a moment, both tech-minded women talked at the same time.

“Please go ahead, Doctor Alphys.”

“Thanks? I-it’s like a theme park ride! With the right adjustments, Sans can match the scenery to our perception. An illusion in an illusion!”

“Uuuuh,” Undyne questioned: “Does that have anything to do with that wibbly-wobbly forcefield up ahead?”

Before anyone could answer, Papyrus drove straight through.

The scenery changed. Ebott Goldenflowers -- Cheaters of Death -- stretched as far as the eyes can see. They covered the grasslands and the rolling hills, basking under the sun. A beautiful sight of serenity to behold.

They then turned heads towards the car. They all had the same face, greeting in unison.

‘Howdy!’

Flowey’s trademark echoed in the air.

‘Howdy!’ ‘Howdy!’ ‘Howdy!’ ‘Howdy!’

“What. The. Eff…?” The flower prince asked, shaken by the sights. “Why are there a million ‘me’s?!”

‘Howdy!’ ‘Howdy!’ ‘Howdy!’

Papyrus had a thought. It’s a crazy idea. And for once, he hoped that he’s wrong.

He asked: “IS IT POSSIBLE TO GET DETERMINATION WITHOUT HUMANS?”

The three brainiacs of the team began to discuss.

“F-Flowey can generate his own Determination as a DEMON, right?”

“Affirmative. The quantities are lower than a Red Major, however.”

“And Ebott Goldenflowers have this special property of storing the essence of the deceased…”

“S-sensei, what if they can they store ANY data??? Like nature’s solid state drive!”

“Hypothesis: the Ebott Goldenflower do not discriminate the source. It is thereby possible to imbue false identities with the aid of a HVM.”

“Egads, a farm of clones?!”

“YES!!!” Alphys shouted with gusto. “A-all you need to do is to inject a faux-personality and a Determination starter seed. Then you’ll have a renewable supply without ever depending on a human. This is classic scifi crazy brilliance!”

“I wonder…” Gaster muttered to himself. “If that might prove to be a better solution than stealing SOULs.”

Flowey yelled, “Of course NOT, you stupid goopy mad scientist!”

Like mentor, like student. Little wonder why Papyrus had to deal with two men of questionable morals.

“I’M AFRAID I HAVE TO TAKE FLOWERY’S STANCE HERE, UNCLE GASTER. TREATING MY FRIEND AS A VEGETABLE… I CAN’T ALLOW THAT!”

“…I see. Prince Asriel, please forgive my careless tongue.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever doc. Just don’t be dumb again.”

Flowey soon became distraught. Whined. His voice shook and it’s rather out of tune. In a way, he slipped back into his pre-death mannerisms.

“Papyrus, can we please get out of here? I don’t… I don’t like this place.”

“SURE THING,” he replied. He won’t let his oldest friend suffer any more needless creepy. “GRILLBY, WE’RE GONNA BOOST OUT OF THIS ILLUSION.”

The request was granted in a heartbeat. Nobody wanted to stay in a realm filled with Floweys.

Alas, they were too quick to act on their discomfort. The jet’s intense heat incinerated some unfortunate flowers.

‘YOU IDIOT!’ ‘YOU IDIOT!’ ‘YOU IDIOT!’ ‘YOU IDIOT!’

Every plant sprayed their ‘Friendliness Pellets into the air in retribution for their scorched kin. It’s one thing to get hit by a pebble, it’s another to get rained on by a billion.

Fortunately the boost of speed was enough to evade the immediate shots. But, how long can it last? Those deadly fragments of LOVE still trailed behind.

‘YOU IDIOT!’ ‘YOU IDIOT!’

Papyrus wondered about the strange, terrifying world of flowers.

SANS, ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING?

THAT MAYBE EVEN IF WE AVOID ‘THE END’, UNSPEAKABLE WRONGNESS MAY STILL HAPPEN?

IF THAT IS TRUE, I’M GLAD YOU’RE SHARING YOUR THOUGHTS WITH ME.

IT MEANS I’M ONE STEP CLOSER TO BECOMING YOUR EQUAL.

Just when he had this epiphany, that darn annoying dog started barking like mad. It ruined whatever ‘zen revelation’ Papyrus had achieved.

“OH YOU DASTARDLY LITTLE CANINE!! WHY CAN’T YOU LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT OF ULTIMATE COOL???”

Undyne grabbed the back of his skull and redirected him from the road to the dashboard. That sudden jump was far from appreciated.

“THAT’S SO DANGEROUS!”

“Paps, look!”

She pointed at the shield display. It read:

SHIELDS 70%

70?! IT WAS 85 EARLIER! WHAT’S HAPPENING?!

Then the number ticked down one more to ‘69’. Then to ‘68’. ‘67’. ‘66’.

“ARE WE GETTING HIT BY STRAY UNWANTED FRIENDLINESS?”

“I don’t know.” Undyne replied. “Grillbz can’t hold on forever either. We gotta get outta here!”

She’s right. Stalwart the ex-Captain may be, he’s struggling to maintain this intense pace.

Papyrus tried to use his Blue magic to lift the car off the ground, but it refused to budge. Strange. It worked just fine when they escaped the crumbling planetoid.

“FRISK, COULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND? USE YOUR BLUE MARK ON THE CAR ITSELF.”

“Where should I put it?” they asked back.

“AS MIDDLE AS YOU CAN. JUST IN CASE YOUR POWERS DON’T BALANCE OUT RIGHT.”

Frisk moved to the mid-row.

Papyrus felt the thump of them planting a Mark with their boot.

A frightened yelp soon caught his attention. Did his human friend trigger a trap? When he looked back, he saw the final moments of a shattered Mark.

“Well shit,” said Cenna. “Should’ve expected that level of sneakiness. If I’m Sans… I’d trap the road itself.”

Gaelic leaned over the side. He had his head down and tongue out, reaching for the source of the problem.

He coughed away while pushing himself back out of the fray.

“WHAT’S WRONG?”

Between the hacking, he uttered one key word: “Karma.”

“Wait, isn’t that a poison?” asked Frisk.

“Yeah, it is.” Cenna confirmed. “Doesn’t mean he can’t combine it with other traits to make specific clauses. Such as tethering the car to a set path by any means necessary.”

Undyne unbuckled her seatbelt and stood up above the windscreen. She conjured a number of spears. Tried to pierce through the road with them.

Sans being Sans, however, had taken her destructive habits into account. The road engulfed her spears and redirected them. They joined the rain of Friendliness Pellets.

One big spear zipped over poor Grillby’s head. He glared in displeasure from the sheer number of close shaves.

Undyne sat down, buckled up, and clawed the side door. Her grip was so filled with frustration, she crunched the chassis. “Fucking Sans.”

Papyrus pitied her. She had the face of an angry kicked puppy: humiliated and helpless.

Meanwhile, the Magi started strategizing. “Lucy, what if Gael and I team up?--”

The discussion was disrupted by some ‘friendly’ pellets pelting against the shield.

‘YOU IDIOT!’ ‘YOU IDIOT!’

Negative news spread faster than the wind. The Floweys further down the road jumped on the offensive as soon as they heard of the threat.

‘YOU IDIOT!’ ‘YOU IDIOT!’ ‘YOU IDIOT!’ ‘YOU IDIOT!’

Shields, failing. It’s getting close to the low thirties.

Lucidia commanded: “Redirecting power to the underside.”

“What?!” said Frisk. “If you do that we’re gonna…!”

“I am aware. But if Karma grinds the mechanisms, we’ll compromise structural integrity. It leads to a zero chance of survival.”

They’re left with ten percent on the top, and fifty below.

The density of the Friendliness Pellets increased from dozens to hundreds. Hundreds to thousands. Sheer overwhelming numbers.

The dashboard screen flashed red, blaring warnings before the last of their protection gave out.

Top hull: Five percent.

Four.

Three.

Two.

One.

Undyne summoned her spear. Sitting duck syndrome be damned. She raised her weapon high above her head and channeled every bit of her Green to the tip.

Zero.

It created a new shield in the nick of time. The pellets shattered upon the surface.

“GREAT JOB, UNDYNE!” Papyrus praised. She grinned back ear to ear.

HMM, WHAT’S HER MAXIMUM RANGE AGAIN?

As it turns out, it wasn’t enough to protect the full length of the vehicle. Both royal goats fought hard to defend the back end with their bubble of compressed flames. It incinerated all incoming attacks that escaped the frontal guard.

Asgore grunted as he struggled to maintain integrity. “T-there’s too many…!”

“Mom! Dad!” Frisk cried out, “You have to burn the field!”

“They’re right.” Flowey agreed “And you gotta do it together. Like that rain-fire stunt at the adoption fiasco.”

The Dreemurrs hesitated. Toriel said, “But, my son…”

“No, you silly goose! One, they’re illusions. Two, they’re not really ‘me’. T-they’re just mass produced fakes!”

“L-look. I wish the world could be live and let live. It’s just… now isn’t the right time. Okay?”

Papyrus recalled the hostage situation at the water plant. There’s a difference between being kind and being unwise. Besides, Flowey had a point. Illusions will remain illusions. One cannot be fooled by their realism.

“…Papyrus, can you stop the car? Or at least slow down.” The sombre command weighted the Queen’s words. “The spell will be ineffective otherwise.”

Asgore tried to put on a smile. “Please bear with us a little longer.”

All military members echoed a resounding ‘Yes’. Grillby stopped pushing the boosters while Papyrus put on the gentle breaks. And Undyne continued to bear with the assault.

The moment they slowed down to a crawl, a great wall of fire surrounded the car. It then spiralled outwards into the fields. The collective scream lasted only for a second before they were replaced by crackling embers.

Smoke smoldered from the remains. The earth lay covered in the blackened char of scorched earth and the greyness of ash. Remnants continued to burn at the far edges, echoing a child’s wailings into the doomed land.

This level of destruction… it rivalled the Great Ebott Fire.

“…Damn.” Cenna shook her head. “That didn’t wreck the illusion at all. Gael, anything up ahead?”

One quick scout later, and Gaelic answered in a deadpan manner. “Flowers and more flowers. They be angry: a ne’erending sea o’ spite.”

“What the hell? Just how big is this bloody field anyway?!”

“It ain’t that. ‘Tis be a loopin’ world. Up ahead be the beginning o’ our nightmare.”

“Argh! So we’re STILL trapped!”

Hopelessness threatened to sink in.

Everyone then heard a muffled sob from the real world.

“Al?…” Undyne asked.

“W-what have I done…? My research will lead to this? I… I… I’m scared…” That poor lizard. Since Papyrus met her, she battled with anxiety and guilt.

“An erroneous presupposition.” Lucidia responded. “Even if the flower experiment was not under your name, another scientist may discover the same principles.”

“Discovery is both a curse and a blessing. At least, you get to decide if your applications are for good or evil.”

A cold, logical approach. Perhaps a forced one. Lady Lucidia had responsibilities unimaginable… it’s clear that she spoke from experience.

Papyrus thought hard about their current predicament.

Sans, who can foresee their counterattack, would set things up in a way where they’d lose no matter what.

Karma. ‘Inevitability’.

How appropriate a trap. At least his naming schemes were on point.

Papyrus reminisced back to his first meeting with Mezil. Back then, the visions of a happy outcome bothered him. Frisk was dead, yet he kept seeing them alive.

WAIT.

METTATON’S CONCERT IS SUPPOSED TO TAKE PLACE CLOSE TO FRISK’S BIRTHDAY. RIGHT BEFORE SUMMER. IF ‘THE END’ WAS A CERTAIN OUTCOME, WHY DID I RECEIVE THOSE HAPPY TIMES IN THE FIRST PLACE?…

THE GOLDEN PATH DOES EXIST! THE FUTURE IS NOT SET IN STONE!

He clutched his scarf.

Papyrus wanted to save his most secret of weapons for the final takedown. But…

“FAIRY GODMOTHER, WHY CAN’T I USE MY SPECIAL EYE AGAIN?”

“Good question,” added Undyne. “We won’t have such a giant headache if he could jump straight to the answer-page of our problem.”

One could hear the woman take a troubled breath at the other end of the microphone.

“…Those ‘Seal Scars’ you exhibit are a phenomenon where the body can no longer safely regulate the power that your Eye demands. Should you activate it now, the unregulated Determination will burst from the cracks and… kill you.”

Doctor Gaster added: “Once you pass a certain threshold healing becomes impossible. My stopgap measure served to prevent extensive scarring, but only that. It does not remove the root cause of the issue. Proceed with caution, my boy.”

“IT WILL BE FINE IF I KEEP THE LEVELS SAFE?”

“By theory, yes. But… young man, won’t you lose your main trump card?”

“CARDS ARE MEANT TO BE USED WHEN THEY ARE NEEDED.”

Papyrus stopped the car. He unwound his mother’s scarf from around his neck.

That worn yet vibrant red fabric… the symbol of his family’s affection. How blessed he was without even realising it.

Once it was a normal cloth at the end of its lifespan.

Now, it’s going to be the binds that support his wounds.

He began crisscrossing the fabric around his skull. Papyrus wasn’t deaf. He could hear the questions of confusion from all sides, but he won’t answer to any of those yet.

It’s better to show first before telling anything. If needed.

The frayed ends were secured with a loose knot. He made sure his right socket remained unobstructed.

When he activated the hidden codes, the voices of questioning turned into reactions of awe.

“Whoa. Badass!”

“Is it even the same scarf?”

“What’s with the magic circuit lines?”

“When did you upgrade it?”

Gaster cleared his throat. “Your mother wonders if it can still be counted as a ‘scarf’ and not a ‘scroll’. And… whether or not it’s still hers to begin with.”

“Doctor Gaster, if you have any issues please direct those to me.”

“Oh no, Lady Lucidia! S-she’s not angry. It’s just… peculiar. What is it anyway?”

She answered, “It’s an Arcanagram to safely bind, root, and disable its intended target. It will also nullify all magic. The effects are complete once it wraps around the torso or the Psychia. Elsewhere it’s localized to the area it covers.”

“AND THAT IS THE KEY TO MY PLAN! NYEH HEH HEH HEH HEH!”

REACH. REINFORCE. RESTORE.

Eye, activated.

The orange flames burned bright, tinged with streaks of blue and green. Papyrus felt a flash of heat on his face. But, the woven threads of red suppressed the harmful scars.

“Hey Paps…”

“YES, FRISK?”

“You’re glowing.”

They’re right. His body once again resonated with his heart and mind. In doing so, it unleashed his full potential.

I SEE, THEREFORE I SHINE.

Thus so the hero proclaimed:

“SANS. BROTHER. HERE I COME.”

“THIS TIME I WON’T LOSE.”