Undyne hates puzzles for many reasons.

First, they give her a headache.

Second, they’re a waste of time. For everyone involved.

Third, they’re inefficient. What’s the point of making puzzles that are solvable by the people they’re trying to keep out? A wall would be enough.

After getting the life-sized block puzzle wrong for the fifth time, Undyne had enough. She punched the block to smithereens with the intent of bulldozing her way through.

Except… the offending blockade just respawned.

“COME! ON!” she screamed. “Why can’t you just stay wrecked?!?”

It’s not like the puzzle or its owner would give into her demands anyway; she's left to just sigh at the predicament.

At least it can be broken. Unlike that dang Barrier.

“Where’s Grillby anyway?” she wondered out loud. He’s a real ninja for a man who shines.

She heard loud stomp on the ceiling. Looking up, she spotted a crack. Undyne summoned her spear and stepped back. Was that a friend or a foe? Better to be safe than sorry.

One more stomp, and the ceiling gave way. Grillby took the effort to carefully hang-drop instead of jumping like a standard anime protagonist.

The hole soon closed up into its pristine state. Just like everything else in this labyrinth.

“Oh, it’s you.” That’s a relief. She put away her spear. “Found anything?”

Grillby nodded. “…Two things…”

He handed Undyne a rolled up piece of paper. Opening it revealed an overhead map of the puzzle. It’s drawn in a black, powdery substance.

Squinting, she commented: “Whoa, where did you get this? Looks like wallpaper.”

“…Because it is… Some chambers have wallpapers… They regenerate… but they don’t revert…”

Thus Undyne noticed that Grillby had stuffed his pockets with folded pieces of flammables. They might come in handy.

“What’s the second piece of info?” she asked.

“…The walls and floors… feel like hardtack…”

“Hardtack?”

“…Biscuits…” he explained. “…Relatively easy to break compared to concrete… I didn’t even need to muster any Determination…”

“Huh. So we’re practically walking on super tough cookies? Does that mean this entire labyrinth is edible?”

Grillby shook his head. “…Don’t know… One thing is for sure… this labyrinth is made to be broken…”

It made even less sense for Undyne. “So, we can just punch our way out of here? That’s the most pointless trap ever.”

“…No… If everything is brittle… it means the floor can also give way… If that happens… we’ll fall forever…”

“Huh? Can’t just grip on a ledge and--”

Then, it clicked. Those would break on impact. In fact, even a heavy run might cause the ground to crack. It now made sense why Grillby was so cautious.

Suddenly the idea of a punchable labyrinth didn’t sound so good after all.

“Gimme a moment.”

Undyne proceeded to break off a corner of a puzzle block. Sank her huge spiky teeth into it.

It’s chewable. Savoury. And despite its dryness, it had a distinctive aroma of baked flour goods.

“…Grillby, they really are biscuits. Oh my god. An edible trap. This is so Sans, I don’t even.”

She read the layout again. “We should try to solve this without causing a collapse, I guess.”

Together, they completed the puzzle with just half of the time required for Undyne’s previous attempt.

A section of the wall vanished upon completion, prompting the duo to traverse a new pathway leading left. It’s hard to tell what’s around the bend.

“…Think we’ll get more puzzles?” asked Undyne.

Grillby shrugged in return.

Without an alternative non-violent option, the two monsters had no choice but to advance. The road led them onto a platform suspended over a long drop into darkness.

Knowing that she’s standing on wheat flour made her stomach queasy.

“Hey guys. ‘Savouring’ my labyrinth?”

It’s Sans. All sense of fear was replaced with anger.

“Come out and show your ugly mug, PUNK!!!” she roared.

“Sure.”

Sans teleported into view. Being a woman of shoot-first-talk-later, Undyne summoned a hail of spears. Rained them down with great prejudice.

She was sure she heard Grillby yell ‘no’.

Her water spears smashed through the biscuit world and soaked into any edge that didn’t get obliterated.

Wet and softened biscuits will NOT hold anyone’s weight.

“Ah crap!” Together with Grillby, she retreated back to the dry entrance.

The drenched platforms collapsed upon themselves, falling straight into the deep drop below.

The pieces then melded back together far away. It’s floating in the middle of the darkness, further mocking them with sheer impractical distance.

Sans soon resurfaced. Hands always in the pockets of his jackets, alongside that all-knowing grin…

If only she could suplex the guy…

Undyne yelled: “Damn you Sans! What are you trying to do?!”

“Teaching you that you can’t just brute force your way through everything. Sometimes, you gotta solve the puzzles of life on their own terms. Cheat only if you think you won’t get caught. But…”

Wink.

“Maybe it’s safer to just follow the rules.”

“I don’t have time for your philosophical bullshit!” Undyne fumed. “Stop this madness and give Frisk back!”

He shrugged. “Welp, too bad. It’s my mission to waste all your precious time.”

Grillby stepped forward to ask a question; “…How do we progress…?”

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“Turn back,” Sans replied. “When you can’t see a way forward, you’ve got to retrace your steps sometimes. Contemplate past actions. That’ll lead you down the correct path.”

“…Thank you…” The man of fire did as he was told, returning to the corridor from whence they came.

Undyne protested against the decision. “Wait, what?! We’re giving up already???”

“…You heard him… The more we resist… the more time we’ll waste… We should hurry to the next puzzle…”

“How are we sure that he won’t lead us astray?”

Without looking back at her, the man replied: “…Knowing Sans… that’s the least of our worries… Let’s go…”

Undyne now had a fourth reason to hate puzzles. They’re playgrounds for the manipulators, mocking and oppressing from their lofty distance.

A familiar sight replaced the previous puzzle block chamber.

It’s cold. Snowy.

Complete with a straight road cutting through the sheets of white.

Up ahead, a plate of spaghetti sat on top of a table. It filled Undyne with sheer dread.

Oh god. Is that what I think it is?

She caught a whiff of the sauce’s unmistakable ‘aroma’. It’s one she thought gone and dead forever. The goop doctor saw to that.

Instructions lay by the side of the plate. It detailed the rules and conditions to pass this particular trial.

Consume the meal to pass.

Undyne grimaced. “That’s ‘wonderfully’ vague.”

There doesn’t seem to be any visible traps around. So she pondered what would happen if she tried to skip it.

“C’mon Grillby, let’s ignore the plate.”

So the two continued walking.

And walking…

And walking…

Right up ahead, it’s that very same table.

“Did Sans just spawn another one? Seriously? He really wants to waste our time.”

“…Wait…” said the fire knight. “…I’ll stay here… If you don’t see me… turn around…”

I have a bad feeling about this.

Undyne quickened her pace down the road. A part of her hoped that Grillby was wrong, but her current true-to-anime life will surely dictate otherwise.

Lo and behold, at the end of the path stood none other than her senior.

Fish stared at fire.

Fire stared at fish.

“Fuck,” Undyne said, “It’s a loop, isn’t it?”

Grillby nodded.

“God. There’s a thin line between a jokester and a sadist.”

Megalovania’s owner spoke through the sound systems: “Looks like you figured it out. Yup. You’re stuck here as long that plate of spaghetti still exists. It’s not a hard puzzle anyway. Nothing is too much for Ultimate Undyne, right?”

Ugh. Sans has a point. I can’t let a dumb pasta get the better of me.

But Undyne had a flashback of eating Papyrus’ hard work for the first time.

She didn’t want to remember that ever again. Not the taste. Nor the smell. Nor the texture. Nor anything about it.

Grillby reached out for the fork, but Undyne snatched it away from him. “Spare yourself, sir. It’s. Bad! And I mean really, really BAD. Like really!”

“…Huh?… But he always barged into my bar… touting his culinary mastery…”

All these years, he lived in ignorance.

“…Could it really be ‘that’ bad?…”

“YES!!!”

Undyne inhaled. Held her breath, and then explained: “OKAY! I tried to teach Papyrus how to cook so he could have a different career option. Except, I can’t cook either! So. SO! Anything pre-Gaster is as horrible as shit no matter what he tells you.”

Grillby narrowed his eyes.

“…And Sans didn’t teach him how to cook?…”

“That slob can actually DO that?! What the fuck I don’t even-- Okay, okay, nevermind. Point being, Papyrus is now BETTER than you! No offense. But back then? No way! Nothing was edible until the doc taught him some real skills.”

“…He never tried his own meals?…”

Undyne gave that a thought. “…I dunno. Maybe he just scarfs it down?! Like how I eat my own crappy cooking.”

“…Nobody ever told him the truth?…”

A deep sense of shame turned Undyne’s face pink.

“Sorry Grillbz,” said Sans. “I’m part of the blame for that ‘badghetti’ too. None of us had the heart to break the news. Oh, right. You guys might want another fork.”

Sans spawned replacement cutlery for Grillby. There’s no saving him now.

The man of fire poked his utensil into the noodles and twirled a helping. He popped it straight into his mouth.

His face contorted in an instant.

“…Why?…” he asked. “…How?…”

Undyne avoided direct eye contact with profuse sweating.

Now she too had to swallow down the most intimidating roll of pasta on the planet.

C’mon. Eat the ‘badghetti’. Force it down with determination or something.

The closer her hand moved towards her mouth, the more it trembled. At this rate, the slippery noodles will slide off her fork first.

Slid it did. Splatted into a mess on the table as well. A few seconds later, it respawned back onto the plate.

The metal grip began to bend in Undyne’s stressed grip. In the end, she can’t make herself do it. She stabbed the fork into the table and walked away.

Sans must have expected this reaction. “I guess you need a little motivation. Stand aside for a while. I’ll show you what Papyrus did.”

A hologram of Papyrus stood before the plate in silence.

The Sans of the past said, “Just a reminder bro, there are other ways to solve this puzzle.”

“I WANT TO EAT IT.” Papyrus replied. “BECAUSE I NEED TO KNOW WHAT I’VE BEEN SERVING TO OTHERS ALL THIS WHILE.”

Papyrus slurped right in. His bony face winced at his own disaster.

“OH GOD. IS THIS MY PLATE OF FRIENDSHIP? IT’S SO… SO… SO UNFRIENDLY!”

“It’s the thought that counts.”

“NO, IT’S NOT. THIS IS A CUISINE OF UNWELCOMING MISUNDERSTANDINGS! NO WONDER NOBODY WANTED TO BE MY FRIEND.”

“It’s not because of that, bro. It’s not. Think of it this way: if people befriend you only because you make good food, they’re not sincere.”

“SANS. I APPRECIATE THAT YOU’RE TRYING TO PROTECT MY FEELINGS. BUT, I CAN’T IMPROVE IF I DON’T KNOW ANYTHING. SURE, YOU, UNDYNE, AND FRISK CAN LOOK PAST SUCH MISTAKES BECAUSE OF OUR HISTORY. BUT MY POTENTIAL FUTURE FRIENDS CAN’T BE EXPECTED TO.”

Papyrus forced himself to continue eating. Orange tears streamed down his skull while he whimpered from every bite.

Watching her best friend suffer like this… made her boil over in rage. She couldn’t find a reason why Sans mandated this puzzle. Why put Papyrus through all this?

“Bro. You really don’t need to finish that. Enough is enough. I’m the boss here. I can give you leeway.”

“PLEASE DON’T.” Papyrus replied. “I MUST KNOW WHAT I PUT MY FRIENDS THROUGH. I MUST KNOW WHAT I PUT YOU THROUGH. YOU ALWAYS FINISH MY COOKING. HOW?”

“I just do. Guess being a cold killer helps.”

“DOES THIS MEAN ALL MY OTHER DISHES WERE BAD TOO? HOW DID ANYONE TOLERATE THIS? MAYBE NO ONE ATE THIS PARTICULAR SPAGHETTI BUT…”

“We’re used to it.”

“WHAT ABOUT THE TIMES I BECAME KING? DID I REALLY FEED THIS ATROCITY TO ALL MY CITIZENS?!”

“Nope. Upscale mass production had to be standardized. Fixed everything to a set portion and method. Tastiness guaranteed. Besides, your name was on the line.”

The younger brother sobbed harder. “THANK YOU. I MEAN IT. I WOULDN’T WANT TO GIVE ANYONE AN ACCIDENTAL POISON.”

By the time he finished, Papyrus looked a little green. He didn’t move from his spot. Rather, he didn’t dare to do so. Step in the wrong direction and his inner magic contents might just eject upwards.

The Sans of the past spawned a bowl of mint chocolates and a glass of water. Undyne recognized them as classic mouth fresheners of their region.

“Take some of that, bro. It’ll help. If you want something leaner, I can conjure something else from Judge Thyme’s stash. Hmm, sugar coated seeds with dried coconut. Fennel, anise, and sesame. That sounds awesome.”

“It appears that he’s got a long list of gastrointestinal medicines too. Do antacids work with skeletons? We don’t have any real acid. Uh… what is an ‘antiemetic’? Oh, so that’s what they’re for. Yup. I think that will do.”

“I’m making a room for you to rest, bro. Complete with a sink if you need it. Let that gut settle down. I know we don’t technically have a visible one but… we’ve both been through those bad times now.”

The playback ended there.

“How could you…” Undyne’s mutterings soon escalated into an all-out scream. “How COULD you?!? Why didn’t you just make the plate vanish with your stupid godmode powers??? Why must you WATCH Papyrus suffer like some freaking psycho?!?”

The Sans of the present paused to mull over her query. “You’re right. I ‘could’ have done that. Paps would have been offended, though. Besides, I was too shocked. Didn’t… didn’t expect him to finish it all.”

“Hey, that’s why we all love him. Right? He’s so brave. So wonderful. Ever since he was a little babybone, he was the only one who’d surprise me in areas that matter. It’s a miracle watching him grow up so happy.”

“…That is, until I messed up hard. I could have done so much better. Hmm. Maybe he should have gotten into science after all. I do the planning and research, he brainstorms and builds. That’s a good combo. At the very least he’ll see the fruits of his efforts sooner than that whole Royal Guard plan.”

“Welp. Enough of my rambling. You two still need to finish that meal.”

Red warning flags. Everywhere. Sans had all the hallmarks of a misguided anime antagonist.

“God, Sans…” said Undyne. “What the fuck happened to you?”

“Nothing.” Sans replied. “It’s just a side you don’t see often.”

She yanked the pierced fork off the table. This man must be stopped at all cost.

That’s what her heart says anyway. When push came to shove, however, she still found herself intimidated by the sheer horrors of botched gastronomy.

Be determined. BE! DETERMINED!

Grillby snatched the plate away from her.

“Uh what are you doin--”

A menacing, rage-filled aura exuded from his being. She had never, EVER seen Grillby anywhere near this state. Not even heard rumors during his time as Captain of the Royal Guard.

Steam wafted from the offending meal. The bottom side started to sizzle. Grillby had turned the plate in his hand into a hot pan.

It didn’t stop there. The heating process continued unchecked until the charring noodles reached ignition point. They’re now on fire.

The plate cracked from the rapid increase of heat. When that happened, Grillby smashed the whole thing against the wooden table. Set that ablaze too.

Slowly yet surely, he made a funeral pyre of ancient human lore out of a piece of furniture.

In all her limited wisdom, Undyne chose to back away: the right decision.

Even Sans had not a single word left to exchange.

Embers rose in the heat. The wood crackled. Popped. Splintered.

Once the longest minute had passed, Grillby himself broke the silence.

“…I ‘consumed’ it in flames…” he said, “May we proceed?…”

“…Welp. You made your point.”

Sans commanded the systems to shift the landscape, replacing the next section of the looping path with the Ruin’s exit.

“One more puzzle remains. See you on the other side.”