It’s Tuesday.
The clouds were dark and grey: a sign that it’s going to rain.
Your first order of business was to travel back to Ebott Town to collect some personal items.
Mezil had arranged a bodyguard to accompany you. To be exact, an invisible skeletal bodyguard. He’s none other than Mister Garamond Blanc, Snakeface’s cousin.
So off you go in your officially designated car. The media is still tracking your movements, so you can’t just shortcut your way there.
At least the hospital was a little nearer to your town than the Spire. Burning three whole hours was just plain tedious.
You know Sir Garamond sat beside you, but you can’t see him. The seatbelt is invisible too. You wonder…
…If you stretch out your hand, will you touch him?
You gave it a shot and managed to grab his arm. You could feel the fabric of his sleeves too! It’s weird that you’re holding something so solid yet invisible.
“Hm? Do you need something, Crimson Keeper?”
AAAH!! That frightened you. You didn’t expect that he could talk in this mode.
“Apologies,” said Garamond. “I tend to keep the nature of my abilities a secret. It looks impressive, but it’s rather easy to counter once you know the trick.”
Really?
“Yes. Judge Thyme sensed me on our first meeting.”
That badass is the last standard to compare to. He’s inhuman.
You noticed a strong scent stuck on your hand. You sniffed it.
…Tobacco? Garamond is a smoker?
“You have a good nose,” he commented.
How do skeletons even smoke?! Does he puff from his ribs?
“No. You know that we descended from humans, I presume?”
You nodded. Goopdoc told you about the history of his kind.
“The conversion deals with more than just bones. Key functions are also imported. Digestion, for example.”
But they have no stomach…
“Not a visible one. But, a proxy for the storage and breakdown of edible matter exists in our bodies.”
What about breathing? You know that they are immune to hypothermia. That’s about it.
“Oxygen levels are more important than the medium. We can survive fine in water, but air is preferred.”
Huh. So where does all the waste material go? Humans poop for a reason.
“Shedded dust. Much like dead skin cells. It’s the same for all monsters.”
Wow. An unvacuumed, unswept room is basically a monster’s version of a dirty toilet. That brings ‘living in filth’ to a whole new level.
Papyrus was right in keeping the house clean. Yes.
You stared out of the window, letting out an audible sigh.
“Is something the matter?”
Um, you didn’t get to ask the Tsunderjudge everything. He jumped right to business after you disclosed Alphys’ experiments by accident.
“It’s fine. You will have time to get to know him better. As for Doctor Alphys, please don’t feel guilty. Lady Lucidia and myself already had suspicions. We’ll take the blame for you, if we must.”
Oh?
Garamond explained: “I visited your town during Halloween.”
That means he had seen the Amalgamates in person.
“Indeed. It didn’t take much to understand that Determination experiments had occurred. It was all a matter of the ‘how’, ‘who’ and ‘when’.”
…………………
Time to change subject.
What does he think of Ebott Town?
Garamond paused for a moment, then replied: “It reminds me of happier times. Though, I’m not so rose-tinted that I’m ignorant of childish heckling.”
“…I just hope that your society can resist corruption better than mine did.”
Your car soon arrived at the town border, stopping for the Royal Guard’s inspection. It’s Doggo’s turn today.
You rolled down your window.
“Hey Frisk! I saw you in the moving car!” he exclaimed. “But, I can’t see you anymore. Only the fancy ride. I guess it’s because the running engine keeps it vibrating.”
You giggled. For his sake, you shook your body a bit.
“There you are. Finally coming home, eh?”
You explained to Doggo that you’re here for official business. So, not quite.
“Oh. Wow. That’s tough. Uh, mind hearing me out a bit?”
Sure. You have a moment.
“The past two days were pure crazy. Huge weird fog. A door in the sky. A Sans lookalike. Then the humans started hauling a whole lot of stuff out of Asgore and Alphys’ place. Upon the King’s own orders!”
It appears that their arrest was not announced. Understandable. It would have been a riot.
“There’s a whole bunch of humans at the skelebros’ backyard too. They’re in special suits. ‘Hazmats’, I think they’re called? Either way, they’ve been using robots to try pick the backdoor lock.”
That’s excessive, but you guess the Magi’s paranoia is justified.
“The worst of all? Curfew got tighter! Everyone holed up in their houses! Even MORE humans ran around. Constant high alert!”
“It’s getting on my nerves,” he said, “I ended up smoking four whole sticks.”
You ask Doggo to lean closer to the car. He started to get super excited.
“I’m getting a pet?”
Yup, for all the hard work he had done!
He’s beyond happy. Started spouting ‘pet pot pat’ over and over too.
You then let the driver know that it’s time to continue the journey.
En route, it started to rain. You feel the damp coldness on your skin.
The Temmie Vault lay up ahead. That’s where you stored your equipables once you got to the Surface.
It also serves as the Temmies’ new residence. Huge house is huge. During sunny days, the occupants hang around their porch. At night and on rainy days, they loiter around indoors.
“Temmies…” Garamond pondered. “Never heard of them before. It’s possible that they’re extinct outside of the Dreemurr Nation.”
Maybe it’s better that he stays invisible. The rest of Ebott Town doesn’t know of the Surface survivors yet.
Also, they might mistake him for a human. They love to pet humans. Even though the action gives them hives.
“I concur.” Garamond handed you an umbrella. It looked like its floating in midair.
“Crimson Keeper Frisk, please exit the car as you usually would. Don’t worry about the door.”
Okay… That sounds like he’s a pro at this. You trust in his ability to avoid getting face-smashed.
The car stopped near the entrance. Alright. Time to get out, open your umbrella, prepare your wallet, and ask Bob to open the lockboxes for you. Simple enough.
Then, before you even had the chance, you heard a cacophony of high-pitched screaming. Temmies fled their homes in terror. Some grew their legs ten feet tall just to cover more ground.
What would terrify them so much? Gungnir?! Jerry?!
The slower Temmies spotted you. They began crowding around your car, begging you to let them in.
This is bad. Driving now will only run them under the wheels!
You couldn’t see the effects, but you could feel a change in the air. It’s likely that Garamond was burning his Eyes to assess the situation.
You heard a slight gasp. “Gaelic?”… he muttered.
Mister Snakeface?
You pressed the button to roll the window down ever so slightly. Otherwise, the Temmies would try to climb in from sheer panic.
Whoa whoa whoa calm down! What’s going on?
“UWAAAAAAA! Tem! Sked!!!”
“Fud thief broke in!!!!”
“Tem is not Tem Flakes!”
“BONES R NOT CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!”
Anyone trapped inside?
“BOB!!!”
“And! Shop Tem!!”
“Let us in plz!!!”
There’s only one thing left to do… you need to rescue the two Temmies before they become accidental lunch.
You told the driver to stay put. And not to freak out if the monsters start getting rashes.
Then, your mission began. The moment you and Garamond got out of the car, the Temmies poured inside.
Once it’s full, they shut the door. Those squeezing against the human driver immediately contracted ‘hoives’, popping red spots all over their faces.
You hope that they have enough money for antihistamines.
Garamond’s invisible body blocked the rain droplets. You understood his weaknesses now: he’s solid no matter what. If you’re his opponent, you would try to fight him in a pool of shallow water.
He then dispelled his invisibility. Huh? He’s not going to keep it?
“…There’s no point in this rain. Besides. Gaelic can smell me from a mile away.”
Unlike Lady Lucidia’s porcelain mask, the now visible Investigator Garamond wore a tinted face shield. Reminds you of riot-control gear. Practical.
He rang his phone.
Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.
“Lady Lucidia,” he said, “Gaelic has escaped his confines. He’s just invaded one of the Ebott Monster’s homes. Is the Grandmaster unhurt? …Oh, I see. The Flower Children are not suitable watchers for him anyway.”
Pause. “You wish to speak with them? Alright. Ending call now.”
The moment he finished his side, your phone rang. It’s a private, encrypted number.
You answered it. Hello?
Lucidia said: “Crimson Keeper Frisk, I have a favour to ask… but I’m not sure if it’s an appropriate task for you.”
Does it involve wrangling a crazy skeleton?
“Something similar. I just hope it doesn’t come to any actual ‘wrangling’. Gaelic can be a danger to himself and others. If… if possible, could you lure him to someplace safe?”
Lure? Why lure when one can befriend? That’s the best outcome.
At the very least it sure beats sending a team of magical dog-catchers after him later. That’d be a sad sight you’d rather avoid.
“Are you certain?” Lady Lucidia replied, “A word of warning, getting past the initial barrier of aggression is risky at best, suicidal at worst. Please don’t hesitate to call upon Investigator Garamond’s assistance should the need arise.”
You have your ways. Don’t worry about it. If Gaelic is really too much to handle, you will run away and resort to Plan B. That good?
“I’m relieved. Thank you again. Remember. Safety first.”
End call. You had the thought that you should contact her again once you’ve succeeded in your sidequest.
It’s time to enter the Tem House.
Man, what a mess. From the living room doorway, you spotted upturned furniture, opened cupboards, scattered Tem Flakes, fallen drink cups…
But no sign of Snakeface.
You approached a smashed window.
“Gaelic must have entered through there.”
Uh… you’d understand if the floor had muddy prints. But why in the world is there mud on the CEILING???
“He can climb on any surface.”
That’s not a snake, that’s a gecko! What animal is he anyway? Nothing is consistent.
Papyrus did call him a wyrm once. But wyrms don’t climb walls either!!!
You then heard some angry yelling from the east wing. That’s where the Vault’s front counter is situated.
“NO!!!! Moi FLAKES!!!! LEV STASH ALONE!!!”
Hurrying to the scene of the crime, you found the culprit. He’s on all fours, gathering a handful, before pouring them straight into his mouth.
Heh. He’s wearing only a torn pair of pants, unlike the other well-dressed skeletons. Where did the rest of his clothes go…?
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo (dies).” Shop Tem screamed. In full Tem Armour, she flipped herself over.
Oh, right. You didn’t need that set anymore, so you didn’t buy it even though you had sent Tem to cooleg.
Bob meanwhile kept pushing out more food from behind the safety of the counter. “Our lives are more valuable than the flakes, Temmie!” He exclaimed.
“But!! Tem haz DEFENSE!!!”
“He almost smashed his way in. I’m not taking any chances!” Bob pointed at the myriad of radial cracks and scratches on the bullet-proof barrier.
Temmie then spotted you and flipped right back up.
“UwaaaaaaaaAAAAAA! D-don’t come! Dangerous for hooman! TOL hooman too!”
It’s alright. We’re pros.
“Oi-kay…” she whimpered.
Bob said: “Be careful, everyone.”
Thanks.
Focus. Bring up your battle interface.
MARK - ACT - ITEM - MERCY
In light of Lady Lucidia’s warning, let’s replace ‘MARK’ with ‘HELP’.
HELP - ACT - ITEM - MERCY
* ACT
* Check * Talk
Always Check first.
* A wild skeletal snakedog. Maybe.
* You need to communicate. But how?
Gaelic stopped eating.
“Mondie…?” he muttered. “Mondie. Why you be here?”
Garamond replied: “I’m here to escort the Crimson Keeper. Why are you here?”
“Why. Why?”
Thinking so hard about the question stressed him out. He began to growl. Drool seeped between his teeth.
There’s a certain glaze in his look, telling you that he’s not quite ‘there’.
“Zealot. Hungry. Grrrr. False angel. He be enemy. Must consume.”
Was it possible that he doesn't remember anything about Sans’ capture?
* ACT
* Check * Talk
You told Gaelic that Sans Serif had long been arrested. Lady Lucidia and Tsunderjudge have him trapped in a healing pod.
He began to sway back and forth, muttering in a series of distorted tones…
Isn’t that the Seer’s language?
* HELP
Can Garamond translate?
“‘Sound Symbols’. He’s frustrated that he can’t understand your words.”
Please pass on your message in their tongue.
“I’ll try. Though, it won’t work if he’s too deep in the abyss.”
Garamond attempted to sign to Gaelic. Slowly.
Anger turned into joy. Snakeface started to clap his hands and yelped upwards to the sky.
Looks like your message had been delivered. Problem solved, right?
* MERCY
* Spare
You wanted to invite him for a nice lunch at your house. You know how to cook a simple pasta, and that’s perfect for a rainy day.
But…
When you got close, Snakeface freaked out and tried to bite you. The Temmies screamed.
You can’t dodge this! Are you going to get bit?!
But Garamond nabbed you out of danger in the nick of time. Phew. T-that was a close shave.
Gaelic crouched on the ground, ready to attack again. His Eye ignited in a flare of orange and purple. It’s so unstable. Violent. Wild.
“DEMON!” He howled, “M’LORD SAY, KILL!!!!”
“You used Determination,” Garamond commented.
Uh, yes? That’s how you spare monsters.
“Wrong move. Gaelic’s primary targets are Living Victories and criminal Magi. They would try the same trick for malicious motives.”
In other words: a ‘Betrayal Kill’. Dang. You made him ultra-paranoid instead. Any ideas?
“Befriend him truly. Or retreat. You make the final call, Crimson Keeper.”
……………………
You won’t retreat yet. There’s still something you can do.
Round 2, start~
HELP - ACT - ITEM - MERCY
* ACT
* Check * Talk
You tested the waters by initiating another Check.
* Snakeface is watching your every move.
* You’re staying as still as possible to avoid any further provocation.
He’s not fighting back. That’s a relief.
* HELP
You asked Garamond why fighting Gaelic in direct combat is a horrible idea. You’ve seen the massive snake blaster, but nothing else. You need more information.
“He’s much stronger than any human,” Garamond explained, “Think Captain Undyne. But my greatest concern is his poison creation abilities. He can generate perfect replicas of any toxin he has consumed or experienced.”
Upon saying such, Garamond’s Eyes burned for a moment. He had Yellow. In other words, Truesight.
“He’s currently secreting a powerful venom. But… I can’t identify which animal. Your country may not have the antivenin. Nevermind your town’s lack of a hospital.”
Huh? He can’t find out any more details?
“No. I lack Perseverance for the job. My Eye is most useful in revealing ‘presence’. Specific stats require a separate investigation.”
Ah. Alright then.
Talk about a survival situation. If you get bit even once… you’re deader than dead.
* Talk
Gaelic backed himself against the wall.
“Who are you?” he asked. “Ah dunno ya. Ye wish ill fer M’lord?”
No. Of course not. You’re the newly elected Crimson Keeper. Mezil’s ally.
The hissing intensified. “Lies. Ya trust other. That. That tasty one. Yes, fruit. Spice.”
That’s a roundabout way to describe ‘ketchup’. Well, he’s not wrong about your relationship with Sans there. But it’s different now. Sorta.
Gaelic was there for your Trial, including the approval. H-he was part of the rescue team too!
Garamond joined you. “That’s right. I was Juror 1, and you were Juror 2. This human child speaks the truth. You witnessed the whole thing.”
“…I did?” The man glanced left. Right. Shook his head. “Don’t remember.”
* ACT
* Check * Talk
* Remind
You shared some of the more memorable bits of the Crimson Hall. Like the big butterfly cloud. And the Trap Harvester incident--
Gaelic hyperventilated, hissing harder than before.
Nonononono! Wait that gut-kick was an accident!
Oh goodness gracious… You feel your heart pounding against your chest. This is scarier than Hyperdeath because of the sheer unpredictability. Your mistakes threatened to bite you in the butt.
* HELP
There has to be a way to calm Gaelic without leaving the Temmies behind!
“Words won’t reach him anymore. I suggest a full retreat to call for backup. The rest will have to hide until help arrives.”
Give up? Now? Running away is a valid tactic, but…
Wait a moment. Bob managed to keep him at bay. And it worked!
‘The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.’
You pointed towards the kitchen. If he’s not going to understand words, then he shall understand taste!
“You plan to cook a proper lunch for Gaelic?”
Yup. For that, you need to check the fridge and pantry.
“To be honest with you, Crimson Keeper, Gaelic is not very particular about cuisine. You could give him raw produce and he’ll appreciate it nonetheless.”
It’s all about showing him your efforts. That means Snakeface has to follow us to watch. You’re letting Garamond decide on the handling.
“Very well. Please proceed.”
Off to the kitchen you go.
The stove appears functional. Is that a full set of pots and pans?
Now what’s inside the fridge?
It’s… well-stocked?!? That’s the LAST thing you expect from Temmies!
The drawers are full of dry goods as well. You can make anything: from pasta to bread to rice to a host of other stuff. What is this grain?
Millet? They’re smaller than you thought.
Quinoa? Never heard of it. Smells kinda bitter. Soapy?
Barley? Oh, so that’s how barley grains look like in real life.
Buckwheat? This the main ingredient for soba noodles.
Wow. The Temmies have gotten rather adventurous. Nevertheless, experiments can wait. You need to make an easy meal that involves zero knifework. Thanks to your ‘reputation’, holding a blade right now is totally gonna send the wrong idea.
You obtained a packet of macaroni from the drawers.
And from the fridge, you grabbed some cherry tomatoes and three eggs. You wished that they didn’t chill the eggs though. Those are best at room temperature.
Where are the plates and bowls? Salt? Pepper? Oil?
You groaned when you realised that Tem had placed them on the very top shelves of the cabinet. They could stretch their legs. You can’t.
“Need some help?”
It’s Garamond.
Sure! But uh, if he’s in the kitchen… who’s keeping watch on the hungry one?
He pointed at the corner. Snakeface had claimed that place as his safe zone.
“As long you don’t go near there, you’ll be fine.”
Thanks a ton. Okay, you’ll need the cheap salt for the pasta, the nicer looking one for seasoning, that black pepper mill, some dried oregano, and olive oil.
For utensils, two big bowls, one smaller bowl, paper towels, two dining spoons, a sieve, and that chef-y wooden spoon. You could get the pot and pan without further assistance.
The kitchen had become your new ‘combat’ focus.
There are three targets to choose from: the sink, stove 1, and stove 2.
HELP - ACT - ITEM - MERCY
* ITEM
* Pot
Use it on the sink.
* ACT
* Fill * Take
Fill it up with water.
* Take
Obtained a pot of water.
* ITEM
* Pot
On Stove 1
* ACT
* Fire
Start the boiling process. ITEM: salt into water.
* ITEM
* S. Bowl
* C. Tomato
* ACT
* Wash
* Dry with P. Towel
You’re not going to elaborate which is ITEM or ACT anymore. This is getting way too tedious.
* Measure Macaroni in Bowl 1.
* Add Macaroni to boiling water.
* Stir Pot once with W. Spoon. Leave it to boil.
* Crack all 3 eggs into Bowl.
* Season with a bit of salt. Not too much.
* Add dried oregano.
* Beat eggs with Spoon 1. Set aside.
* C. Tomato into Pan on Stove 2.
* Add Oil.
* Set low heat. Let it cook on its own.
* Wait.
You’re hearing a commotion coming from the front porch. Oh no, the Royal Guard must have received the call for backup! If they charge in now, your friendship plan will be ruined.
* HELP
Damage control time, Garamond!
He took out his phone. “The driver is still outside. I’ll have him pass the message.”
Phew. Okay, please inform the others that you’re busy with the suspect. For now quietly let them lead Bob and Shop Tem to safety. Emphasis on the ‘quietly’ part! Then, stand their ground.
“Understood.”
Time to resume cooking.
* Check Macaroni. Too soon.
* Check Macaroni. Nope.
* Check Macaroni. Just right.
* Drain Macaroni with sieve.
* Place Macaroni in Bowl 2.
* Add Oil to Bowl 2.
* Mix with Spoon 2 so the pasta doesn’t clump.
* Remove C. Tomato Pan from Stove 2.
* Pour egg mixture.
* Use wooden spoon to scramble.
* Put Pan back on Stove 2.
* Repeat pan on, pan off until creamy.
* Pour scrambled tomato eggs into Bowl 2.
* Grind black pepper mill into Bowl 2
* Sprinkle a bit more salt to finish.
* Scrambled tomato eggs on macaroni, complete!
You handed the result to Garamond. He delivered it to Gaelic and… you watched him eat from far away. Face, straight into the bowl for the chowdown. Spoon, ignored.
Careful with the tomatoes. They’re quite hot.
Now you’re the one who’s getting hungry. Oh well, you don’t want to sponge on Temmie’s supplies more than you need to.
Once he’s done… Gaelic stared at you in amazement.
“‘Tis be true?” so he asked. “Yer a Crimson Keeper, elected by M’lord?”
Finally. You could use the Talk option in ACT again.
ACT
* Talk
You nodded. That’s why you’re here. Gotta help ol’ Mez gather some stuff.
Gaelic fiddled his fingers. “Ah thought he dinnae want any more Keepers. He be done with them. None to trust.”
Including your parents?
“Yer parents…?” He tilted his head.
The Wanderstars? Cenna’s?
“Oooh. Nay. They died. Different.” He swayed left and right, showing signs of distress. “Ah was broken at that time. Injured. Scythe o’ death almost claimed me. When ah returned to duty, Crimson Keepers be gone. Disbanded.”
S-seriously…?
“Aye. M’lord thought ‘tis safer. The World’s power be always in his grasp. None should grow stronger than he. No Persona. No rebels. Nay.”
Unfortunately, that didn’t work. You pointed at yourself: the lone kid who disrupted the whole deal.
“But ye be Wanderstar. Suppose he had no choice.”
You remembered that Mezil had a big lock on the ‘Tsundere’ topic. Perhaps this unexpected event will give you a vital clue.
So… what happened to the rest of the Crimson Keepers?
“Mmm…” Gaelic tried to recall. “M’lady said many parted ways in peace. But Reds, they not be those who yield. They gathered the unhappy. Sought revenge. Placed a bounty on M’lord’s head.”
His sockets widened in madness for a moment. “If ah be there, ah maul those who dare hijack. Like that false angel. Yes. Monster, human, dinnae matter. Hunt. Kill. Consume.”
“But Cenna say… not good to eat foe. Grandmaster too. Images o’ Almighty make, they say. Difficult, difficult. The scent o’ their lifeforce whets me gut. The more they hate, the hungrier ah get.”
Question: could this ‘tasty lifeforce’ have something to do with Determination? If that’s the case, is Mezil Thyme very delicious?
He blushed. He freaking blushed.
Gaelic answered, “Aaah, M’lord and M’lady! Me heart longs fer their waters! Love be ambrosia, better than any blood or dust!”
What are you supposed to take from this?!?
Can you order one mind-bleach???
Investigator Garamond facepalmed.
“Please don’t continue that line of discussion.” he remarked, “Just know that he senses the world in a… unique manner.”
“Aye aye,” Gaelic nodded. “Yer meal. Simple ‘tis be, but warms me being. Taste o’ friendship. Like Cenna’s treats.”
Another question: is the friendship official now? Cenna IS your sister. A friend’s sibling is also his friend, right?
Gaelic frowned. “Yer pullin’ a fast one? Who are ye, the false angel? His brother be me friend. But he still remains me foe.”
Good point. Sorry for trying to be convoluted.
You sincerely want to be his friend on your own merit. Is that better?
He brightened up again. “Aye, aye. Yer heart shines through. There be any way ah can repay yer deed?”
By keeping himself safe.
You promised Lady Lucidia that you will take care of him while he’s in Ebott Town.
Does he know the way to Mom’s house? You live there too. There’s nothing important inside, so it’s perfect for a refuge.
“Aye! I know.”
Thumbs-up. You’ll catch up the moment you retrieve the important items from the Vault.
…Does he need extra clothes? It seems like he lost a whole lot of them somewhere.
“Nay? Nay nay. This be sleepwear.”
Aha. You get it now. Worn down, yet comfy right?
He nodded.
“Ah be going now. Thank ya.”
Gaelic left the Tem House the same method he broke in: through a window.
* YOU WON!
* You gained 0 EXP and 0 GOLD.
Oh. That counted as a ‘escape’ on Gaelic’s end, formally finishing your skirmish.
Garamond phoned right away; “Lady Lucidia, Frisk’s mission is a success. He’s safe now. …Yes ma’am. I’ll keep you updated.”
“Good job, Crimson Keeper.” He praised you. “It’s not easy to befriend my cousin.”
No kidding. You had to improvise a whole kitchen. At least you didn’t have to dodge flying bullets and skull lazers too.
Phew. Guess you can FINALLY ask Bob to help you unlock the lockboxes.
Geez. It’s only Tuesday, and this week is already off to a ‘great’ start…