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The Golden Quiche
Chapter 233: Substitute

Chapter 233: Substitute

Experience taught you to be safe rather than sorry. There was a real possibility that some leftover Marks didn’t get cleansed one way or another. You imagined tiny little Personas laughing at you from beyond the grave.

To tackle that, you had a plan. A pretty swell one if you wanted to brag. Once your big sister blew up the DEMON, you would load Niton and some speakers onto a van. You would then lend him a hand to boost the power up to eleven! With Dayton’s surprisingly decent yet illegal driving skills, your entourage would go around town to blast that purifying music everywhere. You’re willing to ignore the age limit for the sake of saving people.

But then…

You saw The God of Hyperdeath flying in the sky, flying with radiant wings.

Wait.

Wait wait wait wait wait!

You shook your head and looked again. It’s hard to tell from here, but you already noticed that he’s wearing all the wrong colours.

The God of Hyperdeath would NEVER wear green, magenta, and black! Who is this colour-swap clone?!?!

“Hahaha, you are certainly quite adorable, Frisk.”

Was that… telepathy? You covered your ears to cut out the external sounds, focusing on the words beamed into your head.

“I’m sure you have plenty of questions, but they will have to wait. The citizens take priority. I shall give aid to the rest of town. Meet me at Doctor Alphys’ Lab later.”

Then, he flew away from the library area, leaving you no wiser over the unexpected new development.

Alphys’ phone started to buzz like mad. “E-excuse me. Looks like the internet is back. I wonder what’s happening everywhere else…”

A few seconds later she started to hyperventilate. “Oh. My. God. F-Frisk, come look!”

You looked at her phone screen. Her dashboard was filled with buzz about the strange Boss Monster emergence.

The hot topic? ‘Prince Asriel and the Fallen Human, Chara.’

Apparently, ‘Asriel’ transformed at the entrance of The Town Hall. Several people recorded the event from their phones before posting it on social media. Videos of his grand claim already went viral, and it wasn’t even five minutes ago.

You felt your gut twist from the shock.

Undyne asked: “Is… is that really Prince Asriel?!”

No! Impossible! You’ve fought the REAL Asriel and lived with the REAL Chara! That mystery goat is a fraud!

“Then, why are we still gawking here?!” she exclaimed, “You gotta tell everyone the truth before the fake gets even MORE viral!”

…The numbers just quadrupled while you were talking. The can of worms had been opened… and those same worms escaped to the stratosphere with superpowered jetpacks.

Edmund patted you on the shoulder. “I think it’s best that you focus on being a Crimson Keeper first. We still have a guy to put behind bars.”

Ah, yes, the scummy fake reporter who hacked Mettaton. What is his name anyway?

“His ID card said ‘Mike Fletcher’, provided it’s real.”

You asked everyone to do what they need to do. Meanwhile, you will take Niton and Dayton out through the staff backdoor, far away from the media.

“Who’s driving?” asked Victor.

You pointed at Dayton.

The man rubbed his chin. “Isn’t he a bit underaged?”

“I have a special licence as the first son of a farmer!!”

“Uh, I don’t think it’d be recognized here.”

“Huh?!?!? B-but I drove all the time!”

“O-oh dear… Don’t let the police hear that.”

From the corner, you heard a man speak up, “Excuse me, but I could give you all a lift. It’s better to use a less suspicious car to throw the media off.”

You don’t recognize him at all, but apparently Alphys does. “Mister Conroy!” she exclaimed, “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

Niton seemed delighted to see this person too. However, his voice had gone hoarse from all that singing. He was unable to speak properly, resorting to waving both of his arms.

If Alphys and Niton know him, then that means he can be trusted… right? Does he still count as a random stranger?

“I-I-I’ll go with Frisk,” Alphys volunteered. “T-the show can’t go on without Mettaton. So. I shouldn’t be here.”

Undyne offered to defend you. “I’m going too! Gotta keep you guys safe.”

But you declined, instead telling her to go back to the front lines. The aftermath could get crazy. She will protect everyone better by leading the force to maintain order.

“Heh, that’s more like the Frisk I know. Stay sharp, punk! Don’t let some random schmuck run you over!!!”

Roger that, Captain!

The five of you then hurried out to the back, where a snazzy dark brown car waited. The owner of the car took the wheel. Alphys sat shotgun, while you crammed together with the Aratet boys in the backseat.

With the internet back online, Alphys keyed in the address for her Lab on the built-in driving guide. Once it found a path, the car started to move.

Despite Alphys’ company, you still felt a bit awkward hopping into a stranger’s car. Just a tiny bit. You had done crazier things in the past.

“Wow,” said the driver, making small talk. “Can’t believe a ten-year-old kid is my niece’s new boss.”

New boss? She’s a Magus?

“You know a girl named Anise?”

Yes! Anise Anise, the Alchemist!

“That’s her, alright.” He breathed a tired sigh. “If only she stayed a normal Artificer…”

You noticed a name-card holder hung on the back of his seat. You pulled out a copy to read his name.

‘Zack Conroy, Dance Choreographer’. The rest of the card contained details about contacting his studio for classes or business.

While you rode on the ground, the fake Asriel continued to fly around, emanating healing magic. You could feel the Peaceful Determination of his presence. Checking your phone, videos of praise and cheers followed him wherever he went. His plan was super effective… but to what end?

At some point, he made his way towards the direction of the Lab. Seems like he finished taking care of the town.

Zack stopped the car when he saw the crowd ahead. “Drats, we’re looking at trouble right there.”

“Um… L-let’s try an alternate route.” Alphys keyed the new directions on her phone and showed it to the driver. “How about this way?”

What followed after was an alternative of an alternative of an alternative, taking you on a twisty-turny detour to the Lab. All that turning made you a little car-sick.

The moment the ride ended, you staggered out of the car on first notice. Your knees, wobbly. Brain, spaghetti.

Niton too could barely stand. Dayton, on the other hand, stepped out with his head held up high, letting out a courageous huff. “That was nothing compared to the mountain roads back at home!” Again, the brothers were like night and day.

You asked Dayton if Niton is prone to get motion sickness.

“Nope. He rides just fine back home. It must be from the stuffiness inside the car.”

Alphys wheezed away while muttering praises of ‘fresh air’, as if she was about to suffocate.

Zack apologised while loosening his collar. “Sorry about that. I forgot to turn the aircon on…”

You ushered everyone inside, then left them to their own devices. You could always check up on them later. Meanwhile, you searched for the fake Asriel. You sense his Determination coming from the lower floors where Alphys kept the hospital beds.

Along the way, you passed by three people covered in hooded purple cloaks. One of them definitely had antlers of some kind, as they were poking the hood taut.

Could they be the Lemurian delegates? Since they’re here, then the fake Asriel should be nearby as well.

Ah, there he was, standing by your parents’ side, wrapping your sister Cenna in a bubble of magic light.

Alarmed, you yelled at him to stop whatever he was doing!

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But, Cenna said: “Chill, Frisky. I’m alright. The prince here is helping me out.”

Help? Like healing her wounds?

The fake Asriel noticed your presence. “Yes, my sibling. Our sister needs healing. I am trying my best to mend the connection between her nervous system and her Psychia.”

Instead of being glad, your head went dizzy from sheer indignant anger.

Quit lying! You know that he’s not Asriel. Who is he, and why is he trying to usurp your family’s throne???

You strode forward. The intent of kicking the fake crossed your mind. But, your parents’ giant fluffy hands held you back, preventing you from jumping to the offensive.

“Frisk,” said Mom, “I know you are upset, but please do not resort to violence.”

Dad added: “We should not interrupt the process either. Your sister’s health takes priority for now.”

…Alright then, you’ll hold back for your sister’s sake. It didn’t look like Cenna was being hurt by him in any way. Even if the fake was a dirty liar about his identity, at least he was being truthful about his magic.

Minutes passed without anyone saying a word. All focus was placed on the healing process, and nobody wanted to interrupt.

Finally, the light around your sister faded, she sat up to stretch her arms.

“Maaaan that felt good,” she said. “I dunno who you are, but you have my thanks for fixing me up.”

Ralsei bowed slightly. “No problem. I have done what I can. Please take care of yourself. You still have to participate in the Spring Mission.”

Your parents breathed a sigh of relief. You and Mom began inspecting Cenna for a single hint of any mistakes or missed bruises. Channelling that trademark Dreemurr overbearingness, you massaged her arm.

She tapped your hand lightly and said: “Frisky? Mom? Thanks, but I’m alright. Really.”

100% healed?

“Can’t confirm yet. But hey, I’ll take 95% over 0%. I was ready to become a potato for a while. Live with the consequences and so on.”

Potato mode, avoided! Talk about a lucky save.

Despite that, you still narrowed your gaze at the fake Asriel. You said you’re grateful for the help, but you’re not ready to trust him just yet. He had trampled over the birthrights of your floral siblings by causing this impersonation mess. Unforgivable.

The fake gazed at you with his formal smile. “My, my… that’s true anger on behalf of your family. I have heard about those flowers via The Magus Association. They appear to be soulless remnants of our past selves, continuing our memory from the day we died. Clones, perhaps? Nevertheless, your bond is admirable. I am glad that they had such a good sibling to lean on.”

Your Dad cleared his throat. “Excuse me, if it is not a bother. You… introduced yourself as Ralsei, The Prince of Lemuria. A descendant of Toriel’s line, I might add. Care to explain?”

So his real name is Ralsei and he’s from Lemuria. You took note of that.

“Ah,” the impostor replied, “‘Ralsei’ has been my identity for the past fifty years. It would be too jarring to claim that I was your son on our first meeting. If things went differently, I would have kept my origins a secret.”

“After I perished, my spirit drifted in a dark space for a long, long time. Half-awake, half-asleep. I thought, ‘this must be the afterlife’. My existence seemed to be a perpetual dream… Until one day, I woke up as a baby, reborn in a completely different land with different parents, as the firstborn of Rallon and Essei.”

You objected. That’s straight up isekai tensei! Who’s gonna believe a cliché story like that?!?

He replied, “I thought such lofty tales weren’t possible either. Yet, here I am. Perhaps the death of a god is an extraordinary circumstance. But, to be honest, Chara and I were extremely lucky. Most Mergers never return to the mortal coil.”

“Anyways,” he continued, “It took a while to regain my bearings, infant development and all. But, I studied the way of royal Boss Monsters as soon as I was old enough to read. I swore that I would never repeat the mistakes of the past.”

“What about Chara?” Mom asked, “You said they are here with you? Were you reborn together in the same body?”

“No. According to my Lemurian parents, they found Chara a year later. The navy discovered them alone on a drifting fishing boat. At first, we wanted to return the child to human society, but their parents had already passed away. Upon further inquiry, The Chronographers learned that both of us were born on the same day. They were thus adopted as my sibling ‘Kris’. And together we became known as the Twin Princes.”

Then why did Kris become a DEMON? Why didn’t The Vanquishers exorcise them?

Ralsei’s face turned sombre in genuine sadness. Despite the lies and deceit, you knew that there was no trickery there.

“Many years ago, Chara developed a rare, aggressive cancer of the lymphatic system. Their immune system collapsed. No amount of Lemurian magic or human medicine could help. Just like that, they had less than a month left.”

“At first, The Leemurr Royal Family was prepared to let them go. But… Chara wanted to live. Someway, somehow, they no longer embraced death. I didn’t want to waste their newfound heart. Therefore, I made a special plea to The Grandmaster.”

“I volunteered to become the host for a Merger, as I had done as Asriel. However, this time we made an oath. We will never ever kill another person. Should we do so, a Vanquisher will erase us for good. Since then, we have dedicated ourselves to the art of healing as ‘The God of Hyperlife’.”

You tell him you don’t believe one bit that Supreme Judge Mezil Thyme agreed to this.

Ralsei replied with a slight chuckle. “Oh yes, he was very much against it. Yet, that is why I like him. It’s not often you’d find a sharp, honest man with the grit to stand by his convictions. You’re very fortunate to have him as your mentor.”

…Yeah, you know.

Wait! You shook your head, then challenged Ralsei head on. He may have a fantastical cover story… but does he remember ANYTHING of his time as Asriel? All his claims would be moot if he doesn’t remember at least the family moments with his Dreemurr parents.

Ralsei cleared his throat, a little embarrassed. “Father, do you recall our attempts at arts and crafts? I made macaroni art of a flower, while Chara tried to knit a sweater. Thinking back, maybe it would be better if we had done the reverse.”

You watched Dad widen his eyes. “Yes… Yes of course! In fact, I still have them.”

“That’s over sixty years ago!” Ralsei raised his eyebrows. “I’m not so surprised about the sweater, but I can’t imagine the macaroni surviving the test of time. Won’t they decay?”

Dad smiled in pride. “A little magic goes a long way. I could teach you some, if you wish.”

You still don’t believe it. You asked if he remembered anything about Mom.

Looking at Queen Toriel, he said: “Mother, do you recall how Chara used to fill up their glass of water until it peeked over to the brim? It was the most efficient way to fill it, they said. I started doing it too, causing quite a bit of spills around the house.”

Mom was shocked to hear that. “Goodness! That… that was true! Oh dear, you two were so silly.”

No way! How does he know that? Did YOU even know that? Maybe once upon a timeline, Mom told you that story. But you can’t remember when.

“Do…” she asked, “Do you still love butterscotch pie?”

“I still love sweets, yet they do taste somewhat different. Being reborn in a new body meant subtle changes to my senses. Then again, no one bakes butterscotch pie quite like you do, Mother.”

“I would be happy to make you one, whenever possible.”

Mom… She’s getting swept up too. You were losing the battle of wits against this wily goat.

Sensing the uncomfortable shift in the air, Cenna jumped out of bed. She then grabbed you by the hand and said: “Gosh darn, I’m hungry. Hey Frisky, let’s go to the kitchen and see if there’s anything for us to eat. Uuuh make yourself comfortable, Brother Prince Asriel Ralsei whatever?”

“Haha! I certainly will, Sister Cenna. Please, don’t let me make you dally.”

“Yep. Okay. Buh-bye.”

She hurried you away as fast as possible. Looking back, you watched your parents glow with cautious happiness as they continued talking with Ralsei.

When you’re out of earshot, you told Cenna that you knew that lunch was just an excuse. What’s her real goal?

“I’m kicking Mez out of bed. Right now. Man ain’t got no time to sleep anymore!”

Excellent plan. Will Lady Lucy allow it though?

“No. But I’ll still try, dammit! I don’t know enough about the Lemurian royalties to do anything!”

It’s scary going up against Mezil and Lucy, but you’re determined not to back down. For the real Asriel and Chara’s sake!

As you approached The Tsunderjudge’s room, you noticed that the door stood wide open. Lady Lucy was nowhere to be seen. There was only the Tsunderjudge, sitting on a chair in the back, all dressed and groomed, with his fancy cane firmly planted on the ground with both hands. Was he expecting you?

The usual aura of intimidation surrounded him. Glancing at Cenna, you noticed that she was a little tense from the nerves.

It’s okay, sis. You’re here to support her, giving her a thumbs up as proof.

“Y-yeah. Let’s go.”

The two of you entered the room. You wanted to close the door behind you, but then the old man said: “Leave it open.”

If that’s what he wishes…

The Tsunderjudge explained: “I’ve already been updated about the recent happenings. The detonation of the Wanderstar woke me up. After that, The Prince of Lemuria himself paid a visit.”

He did?

“Indeed he did. He’s very courteous, even by royal standards.”

Has Mezil heard of his big scheme?

“Yes. The air was thick with political tomfoolery.”

Cenna furrowed her brows. “And you’re okay with that?”

“Hmph. I’ve certainly not given him my blessing. Yet, he has chosen to perpetuate this farce, stating that a little mystique goes a long way.”

A little? Ralsei knew things about your parents that you don’t! How is that possible???

“Say,” your sister pointed out. “Those memories are a bit too clear, don’t you think? I mean, that goat lived for a whole extra fifty years. That’s one helluva long time.”

Thinking about it, she’s right! A normal person wouldn’t remember THAT much. You have no recollection of the finer details of your earlier adventures either!

Mezil made a hypothesis: “It’s likely that Prince Ralsei had the assistance of an experienced Chronographer -- someone other than Lucidia -- to install Asriel’s memories into himself. The Underground may have been difficult to access in the past, but Flowey’s continued presence on the Surface provides an uninterrupted link.”

In other words… they datamined the flowers? That makes sense because they’re both the same person. Then… Mezil could debunk the whole thing!

To which he responded: “Could you provide hard evidence that Prince Ralsei is not the rebirth of Prince Asriel? That the death of a god does not create extraordinary circumstances?”

Cenna flashed out a finger-gun. “Sans. Let him scrutinise them with his Seer’s Eye. Goat prince can claim whatever he wants, but the True Name will stay.”

Yeah! Not only that, there’s the Functional Universe Number and Personal Universe Number. If they don’t match Flowey, then he’s not Asriel. Full stop.

“It wouldn’t be that simple. Doctor Gaster has recently demonstrated the miracle of rebirth. Besides, Prince Ralsei made sure to emphasise that his genetic makeup has changed. He would play it off as a biological difference.”

…You recalled how he told Mom that the butterscotch pie tasted different. Dammit! He really thought of everything!

“Consider this,” Mezil added, “Who do you think matches the memories of the citizens better? A kind prince with healing powers, aided by a noble human? Or two murderous bratty flowers?”

………………………………

You knew the answer. Every citizen fondly remembered Asriel as a sweet little boy, ‘the kind prince’. They also only knew Chara as the child of prophecy, ignorant of their boiling resentment towards humanity.

“There was only one moment in time when Prince Asriel could have reclaimed his rightful place without any doubt, and it would be right after he broke The Barrier. Alas, he instead chose to abandon his duties. This left a massive void in the royal power structure.”

You told Mezil that you did EVERYTHING to fill that very void! Isn’t that enough???

“Frisk. Only Asriel can replace Asriel… which is why Ralsei stepped in with his current gambit.”

So, it’s not enough after all. It’s never enough.

You stared at the ground, right at your feet. Tears dripped down despite you holding them back. Cenna tried to comfort you, but that didn’t make you feel any better.

You heard the taps of an approaching cane. Mezil’s shoes stepped into view.

Then… he gave you a hug.

The Tsunderjudge?

Giving you a hug?

You looked upwards. The biggest tsun actually smiled at you.

He said: “You may never replace Asriel, but you were responsible for creating the best case scenario today.”

But, how? You don’t understand.

“The town didn’t burn to the ground. Nor was I arrested in my sleep over frivolous claims. Above all, there were no casualties. An excellent job, especially for your age and experience.”

Hearing his rare yet honest praise ironically made you cry harder. You told him that you were very worried that you had ruined Tsunderjudge’s efforts yet again.

“These issues were always mine to deal with. That’s why I took a nap: to clear my head and heart.”

He passed you to your sister. “Prince Ralsei’s stunt has upset the status quo, for both man and monster: Ebottian and Lemurian. Somewhere in there is the opportunity to turn the tables to our benefit. I will handle the upcoming PR nonsense circus from here onwards.”

Wiping your tears away, you made a cheeky grin. Could this be the ‘butterfly effect’ in action?

“Hmph,” the Tsunderjudge huffed tsunderely. “My Mark carries that symbolism for a reason. Get some rest in the meantime, both of you.”

Supreme Judge Mezil Thyme walked forth with confidence. To think how down in the dumps he had been before his nap. He really was just tired after all.

Cenna hollered back: “Don’t cause a tornado on the way out, old man!”

He didn’t even acknowledge her teasing. Seeing that made you two burst into kiddy giggles. That’s his tsundereness cranked up to the maximum alright.

This unexpected outcome was your light of hope in the midst of all that smoke of chaos.