Chapter Twelve

Raimie

Focusing in this place was fucking impossible. With every step I took, I struggled to break free of Daevetch’s enticing touch, and each time, I barely kept myself from falling into a hole I’d never escape from. That dark energy had been so heavily utilized here that its remnants whispered temptation to me, promising power and an easy victory, both in this place and elsewhere. It would be so easy to draw from Daevetch, destroy the Kiraak and Conscripted, and never let that power go.

Maybe I should take just a little, enough to quiet this damn screaming need for it…

At my side, Hadrion asked, “Are we lost?”

With a jerk, I pulled myself out of my head, glancing around. How the hell had I forgotten about the teenager and my goal in the Birthing Grounds for so long? Damn. We could have circled this entire pit by now, and I wouldn’t know it.

“Hang on,” I said.

Squinting at the sun’s position in the sky and the trebuchets peeking over the cliffs’ summit, I quietly cursed. Hadrion was right. I couldn’t figure out where we were based on my present landmarks, something that hadn’t happened to me in forever.

And it was mostly due the effect Daevetch was having on me right now.

Dim, can I dull what I’m feeling? I asked. It’s distracting. Could get me killed.

With a hesitant frown, Dim said, “I honestly don’t know. Most of my humans have enjoyed places like this. I’ve never had one who’s wanted to block out the feelings they find here.”

Gods, they looked positively vibrant with their nondescript visage practically glowing. Bright, on the other hand, had wilted with a sickly aura hanging over them. It was somewhat reminiscent of the time after they’d been destroyed, and seeing it, I had to stop myself from asking how they were. They’d always gotten snippy with me when I’d done that in the past.

Almost croaking, they said, “Have you tried accessing my whole?”

And I wanted to smack myself for my stupidity.

“Duh,” I said under my breath.

But then, I drew light into my body, making my skin glow the slightest bit, and Daevetch’s lure faded, although not by much. Even if it was only a minute reduction, though, it was better than nothing.

Behind me, Oswin said, “Sir, is something the matter? You’re acting… strangely, and I don’t know if you’ve noticed it yet, but the Kiraak have started leaving their barracks.”

Of course they had. Without the threat of plummeting boulders hanging over their heads, those assigned to defend the Birthing Grounds should be hurrying to do their jobs.

Swearing up a storm, I dragged Hadrion into a patch of concealing shadows, where Oswin had already retreated.

“Are we lost?” the spy whispered to me.

I nodded, watching the Kiraak sprint past our hiding spot with pinched eyes.

“I’m having trouble focusing,” I said. “Daevetch is spread so godsdamn thickly here. It keeps demanding my attention.”

“Hm. Is that going to be a problem?” Oswin asked.

I gave him my best incredulous look.

“It already has, hasn’t it?” I said. “I think I can control it now, but… you should probably take the lead. For now.”

Rearing back, Oswin hissed, “What makes you think I know where to go?”

With my eyes narrowed, I glared at him.

“You’re the spymaster of my Hand, for Alouin’s sake!” I growled. “Isn’t doing impossible stuff, like finding whatever random place I need to be, part of your-?”

“Huh. Is that Little?”

Seemingly unaware of my conversation with Oswin, Hadrion pointed at a clump of Conscripted soldiers, who were pushing their way against the Kiraak’s flow, and yes, the short man prodding them along did look familiar.

“Oswin, can you-?” I’d started.

But the spy was already moving to intercept. Hooking his elbow around Little’s neck, he ruffled his youngest subordinate’s hair, and after a few unheard words, the two led their group of Conscripted soldiers to where Hadrion and I were hiding.

There wasn’t enough space here for everyone Little had corralled toward us, forcing most of them to form an awkwardly obvious barrier at the mouth of an improvised alley, so I supposed I should thank Alouin for the Kiraak’s all-consuming obsession with violence. Otherwise, they might break free of their rush to battle, all to investigate this anomaly in their midst.

Glancing over a mass of unfamiliar faces, I said, “Who are these people, Little?”

I doubted the spy would have brought a bunch of enemies straight to me, but still, I couldn’t help my wariness of them.

“They’re defectors from Doldimar’s army, sir,” Little said, “and they’d like to prove their new loyalty by providing you with an escort to the center of the Birthing Grounds.”

Before I could decide whether I should trust people who could change their allegiance so quickly, one of said people pushed his way through the others.

“This is your king, Private?” he said.

With a crooked smile, Little said, “Captain! I present to you Raimie, rightful claimant to the Audish throne by birth and foretelling.”

For a moment, the captain only glanced between me and the spy, chewing on his lip.

Then, he hesitantly asked, “Are you aware that he’s glowing?”

That made Little scoff, although I wasn’t sure why he was doing that. Maybe he was hoping to stave off questions about my primeancy, but… but I wouldn’t have that. Not anymore. I wasn’t ashamed of my magic, and I wouldn’t let other people make me feel that way. Damn them if they tried. I’d handle any threat to my life that came with this, if it meant I could stay openly true to a part of who I was.

“The glowing would be because of the Ele energy I’m holding,” I said. “Will that be a problem for you… captain, is it? Do you have a name to go with your rank?”

With a chuckle, the captain raised an eyebrow.

“Nah, no names here,” he said, “and I honestly don’t know if we have a problem yet. Right now, I’d say no… but that could change. I hardly know you and what you mean to do with… that.”

He waved at my glowing skin, but I didn’t blame him for his hesitancy. The captain seemed like a man who hedged his bets, and I could respect that.

“Fair enough,” I said. “As long as you’re aware that I don’t trust you either, we should get along famously.”

Throwing his hands over his head, Oswin growled, “Fantastic! We’re all nice and aware of our general unease of one another. Can we move toward our objective now, or is the plan to stand around, posturing, until the Kiraak kill us?”

Little lifted a hand to his lips.

“Goodness, spymaster. For someone who’s lost his way, you sure are eager to insult the people who’ve come to save you.”

Closing his eyes, Oswin hissed out a breath before fixing his eyes on Little.

“There were mitigating circumstances for us,” he said, “which I don’t have to explain to you, Little.”

Shrugging, Little said, “Whatever you say, spymaster. Just come with me.”

Fucking whistling a godsdamn tune, the younger spy practically waltzed out of the shadows, and as he moved, the Conscripted defectors surrounded the three out-of-place men in their midst, which I was grateful for. Any amount of cover was good right now.

Several paces ahead, the captain sidled up next to Little.

“You never said your king was a primeancer, Private,” he said under his breath.

“Eh. It didn’t seem relevant when we talked. I was more worried about returning to Tiro,” Little said before glancing at the other man. “Why? Does it matter?”

“Well… the only primeancers I’ve known have been crazy bastards,” the captain grumbled. “Granted, I’ve never met someone who uses Ele but…”

Chuckling, Little said, “Trust me. Raimie’s nothing like the asshole Enforcers you’ve been around, and he doesn’t command Ele alone. He can use both Ele and Daevetch.”

Hearing that, the captain tripped over himself, nearly face planting.

“Both?” he hissed.

And I couldn’t hold myself back anymore.

Rolling my eyes, I said, “Yes. By the way, I can hear you two. Just so you know.”

Glancing at me, the captain clicked his teeth together while Little shoved his hands in his pockets, returning to the whistle he’d taken up earlier. Gods, much as I might like it, that kid’s flippancy and carefree attitude were going to get him killed some day.

When a fence up ahead broke the monotony of slapped-together barracks on either side, I started paying attention to my surroundings again. Beyond this barrier, an average looking house occupied the yard within, and despite Little’s much-advanced warning about this, its normalcy took me by surprise. I’d expected that a place dedicated to transforming humans into Kiraak would look more imposing or sinister.

As Little had also said, lumps were littered across the yard, piles of flesh and clothing. After making quick work of the gate’s lock—I’d been practicing with my lockpicking since Da’kul—I flung it wide, which had those lumps fighting to reach their feet, and soon enough, a handful of people jostled their way past me in their bid for freedom.

“Wait! Please,” I shouted after them. “We are here to help you, but you should stay put for a little while longer, just until the battle’s over.”

Most of those left in the yard settled back into the grass, but several people had already been lost in a panicked need to escape. Oswin stopped me from pursuing them.

“You warned them.,” he said. “Let them make the choice about whether to heed your warning or not.”

Slumping, I nodded before turning to the Conscripted defectors.

“Little, you and your friends can stay here,” I said. “Watch for Kiraak, although I doubt they’ll be a problem for much longer. Once Ryvolim has eliminated the Enforces, they should go docile, and after that's happened, I want you to join the rest of our army in herding them into their barracks. I’ll get to them as quickly as I can.”

Tossing a loose salute my way, Little said, “Sure thing, sir.”

He spun in place, barking orders at his group of deserters, and I chuckled at the sight of those weathered people flinching away from that kid’s affected gruffness.

“Can you keep watch on them, Oswin?” I asked under my breath. “I don’t trust these ‘deserters’. Not yet.”

“I think that would be wise indeed, sir,” Oswin said.

Smirking, I said, “What? No quips about forcing the bodyguard to leave his charge’s side this time?”

Oswin looked completely serious as he said.

“If I can’t keep a threat out of that house, then I either don’t deserve to be your bodyguard or the threat is more than I alone can handle.”

“It was a…”

Sighing, I rubbed my eyes.

“All right, fine. Hadrion? Let’s see what this house of horrors holds for us.”

Forging through a loose crowd of emaciated people, I kept my chin tucked to my chest. I couldn’t see their pain, not when I couldn’t help them. I’d be able to soon! But not yet.

There was a span of empty space between the last of these people and the house, one that Hadrion and I quickly passed through, and uneasily reaching for the front door, I led the teenager inside. As soon as we’d crossed the threshold, though, I stiffened, and distantly, I heard Hadrion gagging behind me, just as faintly as I noticed Bright going perfectly white in the face while even Dim paused.

Someone had made changes since Little’s first visit to this place. A reportedly peaceful foyer was gone, replacing its furniture and decorations with stacked bodies.

They were piled along the wall with some stacks reaching up to my height and others, several rows deep. Each of these people bore a mortal wound with some so horrific that I couldn’t bear to look at them, but still, I heard them all breathing, a sound that loudly echoed in this tiny room.

In the center of it, a man was waiting in a chair, hugging his guts in his lap.

“You are Raimie?” he gasped.

In a fog, I said, “I… am.”

Struggling for air, the man unsteadily nodded.

“We have a message for you from our Dark Lord,” he said when he could. “Will you hear it?”

Oh, gods. Oh gods, oh gods, oh-

“Do I have a choice in the matter?” I asked.

The man in the chair chuckled, setting his insides quivering.

“You’re perceptive. I’ll give you that.”

And he took a breath, alongside every other person in the room.

“Raimie from the ancient line of Audish kings,” a host of voices intoned, clearly echoing a memorized speech, “welcome to Auden. Please, accept this gift. I hope you’ll enjoy the task I’ve entrusted to you.

“These are the people that you failed to dispatch during your battle against that incompetent fool, Teron. I thought you might like to finish what you started.

“Consider this the first of many such gifts. Maybe in time, you’ll understand what I’ve done for you here. I hope that eventually, you’ll learn how useless Ele is, abandoning both it and E in favor of joining my side of the War.

“With some measure of respect, I, Doldimar, the Dark Lord of Auden, greet you.”

They fell silent, and I couldn’t think through the cotton clogging my head. Doldimar had left these Kiraak, these people, in misery, simply to deliver a message? Why the hell would he think I’d appreciate that?

And fuck. Doldimar knew about my abilities, my name, and… AND he thought there was a chance in hell that I’d join him. Alouin. I’d laugh if I weren’t so… numb.

“What does he expect you to do here?” Hadrion whispered into the quiet.

I couldn’t stop my throat from working because I didn’t want to answer him. I didn’t want to undertake the task that Doldimar had forced me into, but if I didn’t do it… if I didn’t…

Hefting Silverblade, I hoarsely told the kid, “I’m to deliver Mercy.”

Starting with the man in the chair, I moved around the room’s boundaries. At first, Hadrion merely watched me work with turmoil written across his features, but he helped me with the task soon enough.

Many of the Kiraak here thanked us before we separated their heads from their shoulders. Fucking tears of relief streaked across some of their dirty faces, and by the time we were finished, blood had been caked onto our skin. My uniform, the one Oswin had given me what seemed forever ago, was ruined, and I itched to tear it off of my body. Unfortunately, decorum wouldn’t allow that, so the soaked fabric remained pasted to my flesh, making my every body part crawl.

“I didn’t think the first Kiraak I killed would be helpless and begging for death.”

As Hadrion’s whisper filled the room, it sounded deafening, now that no labored breathing could compete with it, and cringing, I closed my eyes.

“This is war,” I said. “It’s not glorious. It’s people, thrown into battles. Often times, it’s for a cause they’ll never understand, but still, they’re forced to fight for survival. It’s despicable acts like this, designed to test your enemy’s resolve and instill doubt in them. Are you sure you’re ready to participate in it?”

I could hear Hadrion’s swallow, even from halfway across the room.

With his voice trembling, he said, “I already have, haven’t I?”

“Fair enough.”

When I took a breath, hoping to clear my head, I only smelled blood and death, and it almost had my roiling guts leaking acid from between the fingers I’d pressed to my mouth, but I couldn’t let that happen around Hadrion. Turning to him, I clasped his shoulders, ducking so I could meet his eyes.

“If it helps, death was the kindest gift we could have given these people,” I said. “If I’d made them human again, not only would they have endured terrible pain during the process, but they’d have died anyway, once it was done.”

When Hadrion recoiled, hugging himself, I bit my lip. What had I done to this kid? Having listened to his story about his past, I’d known what the Birthing Grounds meant to him, and still, I’d dragged him into this place once more. I’d thought I’d be helping the kid face his past, something he clearly wanted to do, but this? This was one more nightmare that would plague him.

The narrative has been taken without permission. Report any sightings.

I’d made a terrible mistake with this. Hadrion was too young to have appreciated the weight of what he’d been asking for…

The teenager straightened with something like resolve in his eyes.

“I know you’re right,” he said. “That doesn’t mean I should stop wishing for a better solution to problems like this.”

Or maybe Hadrion was more grown-up than I gave him credit for. Sheathing Silverblade, I winced at the thought of how much blood I’d need to scour from it later today.

“Do you need a minute?” I asked. “If you want, we could go upstairs for a bit. Little said that part of the house was relatively peaceful.”

Shaking his head, Hadrion sat cross-legged in the middle of the corpses.

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to pay my respects to these lost people,” he said. “You go on, though. You’re needed, so… I’ll catch up.”

This made me hesitate—I was supposed to watch the kid, after all—but leaving him here wouldn’t put him in danger. A wealth of allies had surrounded this house, and if anything could get through them, then we were all probably dead.

So, I gave the teenager his space.

Thank Alouin for no further surprises. The ground floor’s second room looked exactly like Little had described it last week. Doldimar had left his victims dangling from the ceiling: several dozen captives, hanging in neat rows.

These people, I could save. Open cuts and slashes might decorate their skin, but each wound was superficial, something they could heal from, and I didn’t see any signs of deadly infection on them.

As I moved into the room, I brushed against the closest prisoner, swinging him, and that fixed his pained eyes on me.

“Please…” he rasped. “Let me down.”

How long had these people been left hanging like this? Glancing up, I tensed on seeing so many blue fingers brushing against the ceiling. Their captivity must have been lengthy for necrosis to have set in so deeply. If they had any hope of retaining their hands, I’d need to release them quickly.

So, I hugged the waist of the first prisoner I’d encountered, lifting his rope-bound wrists up and over a hook, but as I was lowering the man to the floor, he shifted his weight, and I lost my balance. Tumbling, we both landed hard.

Desperately, I sought the air that had been knocked out of my lungs, but my search got impeded by the forearm that bore down on my neck. Peeking over it, the freed prisoner feverishly grinned at me. Combined with the shock of my fall, the feeble pressure he was applying might have been enough to keep me pinned, if not for my primeancy.

I blasted the man with Ele, watching more prisoners swing in the wake of his flight. As I should have expected, desperate pleading and screams started ringing out, which soon had Hadrion stumbling into the room.

“Raimie!” he said.

“Keep back!”

As I’d shouted, the freed prisoner had tried to stand, but another Ele burst helped to flip him onto his back.

“Stay down,” I growled.

But the prisoner refused to listen, unsteadily climbing to his feet again. Thankfully, arms wrapped him in an embrace before he could collect himself, and although he tried to break free, the hold on him was tight.

“Quickly, Raimie!” Hadrion shouted. “I can’t hold him like this for long.”

Fuck.

What do I do, Dim? I snapped. I know I should draw Corruption out of him. That seems intuitive, but I need specifics.

Sputtering, Dim said, “I don’t… specifics? Are you kidding me? All of mine just force Daevetch into and out of the body. There’s never any finesse to go with it!”

Well, that won’t help right now, will it? I said. If I get this wrong, I’ll kill him.

“What?! I don’t even-!”

“Just think about it for a minute, dimwit.”

Even as my splinters dove into their typical argument, an urgency from within demanded my attention, and Bright’s suggestion faded to the background.

Nyl? Is that you? I said. What’s happened? Why can’t you speak to me? Did… did that thing back in Sanc hurt you-?

A distant sense of exasperation rose to stop my rapidly tumbling thoughts.

Right. Focus on the current-day problem, I said. Can you help with it? What do I-? Could you… I don’t know… take control? Like you did with Teron-?

The world shifted, making me lose control of my body’s strings.

Are you paying attention? Nylion snapped at me.

He didn’t wait for an answer, simply calling for the Daevetch within the prisoner opposite us. That man screeched long and loud, or he did so until he lost consciousness, but even still, black tendrils streamed from his limp body to our hand until those threads sputtered and died. Upon their cessation, Hadrion dropped the prisoner.

“Did that work?” he breathlessly asked.

“What do you think?” Nylion growled.

Hadrion didn’t seem to notice the sudden change in ‘my’ mood, only staring at the perfectly smooth skin of a man, newly freed from Corruption.

“Wow!” he breathed. “You can do it. I mean… I knew you could but… you can do it.”

Huffing, Nylion turned away from the teenager.

We cannot release them before they are cleansed, he said. If each of them fights us, cleansing them will take far too long, and I… WE need sleep soon.

Is that… why you sound so… angry? I hesitantly asked.

I’d never known my other half to be mad at me, and the idea of it… it shuddered something horrible loose from deep inside.

Pinching our eyebrows together, Nylion said, Regret? Why are you feeling…? You should not feel guilty, heart of my heart. Is it because of my mood? You should not worry about that. I have merely been keeping a more vigilant watch over you since Sanc. So, I may be a little… exhausted.

Oh. Oh, that made perfect sense. Thank the gods.

Damn, why was my relief about this so strong?

After a pause, Nylion said, Can you handle this cleansing job on your own? I do not know if-

Of course I can, I said. Of course. Although… please, keep an eye on me still? I’m not sure if I’ll be able to do this right.

Frowning, Nylion said, I do not understand what you are trying to say. You are giving me self-confidence and then uncertainty? What does that mean? Should I give you control or not?

Yes, I-

I stumbled from the force of Nylion’s departure. He must be truly tired if he was letting go that fast and… I thought he might be angry about something without telling me what it was as well. He’d been acting a little more irritable in the last month or so, and I wasn’t sure why.

Maybe I should ask him about it face-to-face. I hadn’t been able to visit him since after we’d arrived in Auden, needing uninterrupted sleep in the brief times I’d been able to get it. When I went to sleep tonight, I’d be sure to visit our shared space, but first, I had several real-world problems to tackle.

When I moved to the next person in line, Hadrion followed me with wide eyes.

“Do you mean to heal all of these people?” he asked.

Cocking my head, I said, “It’s not healing, Hadrion. I’m not taking on these people’s wounds. I’m merely removing the Daevetch in them. Now, hush. I need to work.”

Before I could get started, Dim popped in front of me.

“Hang on,” they said. “What’s going on with you? Bright disappeared for a second. Are you…?”

Bright had disappeared? That was concerning, but when I looked for them, there they were, watching me with a pained look on their face and their arms hugging their chest.

Gods, I still got freakishly terrified whenever Bright was anything less than ok around me. Back when I’d reconstructed them, what I’d done had seemed so intuitive, like the easiest—and yet, most painful—thing in the world. Now that I knew how impossible what I’d done actually was, something Rhylix and both of my splinters had been uneasy around me with, I wasn’t sure if I could replicate the process. The mental block of ‘first person to have done it’ would probably stop me from saving the splinter if I ever needed to again, and this made me anxious beyond measure.

It didn’t help that all parties who knew about that process have been on-and-off interrogating me about those few minutes I’d needed to break their world view. Of them, Bright seemed to have finally accepted what had happened, if only in recent days, but Rhylix and Dim were still having trouble wrapping their minds around it. It was another source of pressure added to everything else, and I couldn’t handle it, now when I was supposed to be finishing up my side of a fucking battle.

Not now, I told Dim, hoping they’d drop the subject.

Fortunately, they did, and swallowing any apprehension I might have about possibly making a mistake, I felt for the Corruption entwined around my first subject’s wet tissue. First, I carefully unlatched each of Daevetch’s holds on her before sucking that energy to me. A familiar feeling of invincibility clamored to take over as shadows rushed over me, but as always, I held the feeling at arm’s length. I couldn’t let it come any closer because if it did, I didn’t know what would happen. I wasn’t strong enough to resist the temptation that Daevetch always brought.

After what felt like seconds to me, the last of the Corruption in my subject’s body came to me, and I opened my eyes. Sprawled out on the floor nearby, Hadrion covered a yawn, grinning at my startled look.

“Is she human?” he asked.

Glancing over my subject, I nodded.

“Yes, I’ve removed the Corruption in her,” I said.

“You did it without her screaming too! Good job,” Hadrion said. “Took a while, though.”

Oh, no.

“How long?” I asked.

Humming, Hadrion tapped a finger on his lip before holding it in front of him.

“Maybe five times as long as the first time?”

Groaning, I rubbed my forehead. I wasn’t going nearly fast enough. When forming this plan, I hadn’t thought there would be a time crunch on me. If Ryvolim failed in his half of our saboteur mission, then my half was doomed to fail anyway. In the long run, it wouldn’t matter how long I took to give these Kiraak their humanity back.

But if Nylion was suffering right now, exhausted as he’d claimed, then I needed to finish this as quickly as possible. If there was one thing I’d noticed in our time since reuniting, it was that our wellbeing affected one another. When he was tired, I got cranky. When I was worried, he got over-protective and aggressive. When he was happy, so was I.

That didn’t mean our emotions necessarily matched, just that one of our moods might splash onto the other in this duo.

And I didn’t want to crash and burn in the middle of enemy territory. I also didn’t want to indulge in sleep until I’d at least helped the people in this room. They were the ones most at risk for long-term complications from Doldimar’s ministrations. I had to see them safe.

But I also couldn’t spend as much time here as I’d need, if we healed them my-

“I cannot keep doing these things for you,” Nylion snarled.

Spinning to the next prisoner, he yanked Corruption out of them, finished with the process over the course of a dozen breaths, and I was left stunned, floating behind our eyes.

Nylion had never taken control like this before. He almost always waited until he had some measure of consent from me before sliding into that front-most position. So, this abrupt takeover? It had addled me, more than I would have thought it could.

“Are you ok, Rai-?” Hadrion started.

“Fine!” Nylion snapped before wincing.

He rubbed his eyes for a moment, slowly leaking tension from our body.

“I am sorry,” he said. “I did not mean to snap at you. I am simply… tired. And sick of always having to do tasks I would never have taken on if I had been asked.”

Softly smiling, Hadrion came closer, but he restrained himself from touching our body.

“That’s all right. You’re under a lot of pressure right now. I’m glad you apologized once you noticed what you’d done,” he said. “It must be hard, dealing with all of this.”

He vaguely waved around the room.

“Can I help you with it?” he said “Obviously not with the primeancy part, but maybe there’s something else I can do?”

Blankly blinking at this kid, Nylion was quiet for far too long, and I wasn’t sure what he was thinking.

“That… would be nice. Thank you,” he said. “If you could lower each of these people’s bodies from their hooks once I have finished with them, I would appreciate it.”

Grinning, Hadrion said “Sure thing, boss!”

He skipped to the woman that Nylion had finished cleansing, straining to take her weight, and all the while, Nylion stared.

I have not met someone like him in a while, he whispered. He is… good.

Yes. Yes, he is, I said.

But I said nothing more, waiting for Nylion to rally. Soon enough, he did so, and I made not a single comment more as he began his work, something he apparently hadn’t wanted to do.

…I wished he’d told me about that before accepting the task from me.

I watched Nylion go down the line of Kiraak, getting more and more concerned with each one he cleansed. As Daevetch’s power arced over our body with every instance of this, I might recoil from it, but Nylion embraced the feeling. After he was finished with his third prisoner, he started singing along to an unheard, discordant song, and three or four people later, he shoved the next one into a swing, chuckling when they released a pained yelp.

What in the-?

“Nylion. You need to release the portion of the whole that you’ve accumulated. Don’t let madness take you this soon.”

As Nylion laughed, I somehow gained enough control to focus our eyes on… on Dim. Considering he was wielding Daevetch, I’d known my other half would have a splinter, but why did he have mine? Yes, we were two halves of a whole, a singular entity split in twain, but our personalities couldn’t be more different. We should have attracted different splinters.

“Oh, you have figured it out, have you? I thought it might take you longer,” Nylion sang to Dim. “Also. You should let me do as I please for once, Chaos. You have added inordinate trouble to an already chaotic life. Why can you not simply help me when I need it instead of preaching at me?”

Ripping more Daevetch from his next victim, Nylion shot a tiny bolt of it at Dim. The splinter didn’t move, leaving a disapproving look fixed on their face, which I found weird. Dim had been nothing but … well, chaotic with me. What was with the suddenly serious routine?

“You’re being foolish,” they said. “Raimie needs-”

Jerking his hands down into fists, Nylion shouted, “Do not tell me what the heart of my heart does or does not need, you constant fucking nuisance. If you mean to be so intrusive, then I shall be so as well.”

He jerked our face toward the splinter.

“You shall SHUT UP and WATCH!”

As Dim’s mouth snapped closed, they clawed at their throat, which had me wincing. I knew how much the Daevetch splinter despised getting commands from me, hence why I didn’t use them. Much as I didn’t like seeing Nylion do this now, I was also grateful for it. The sooner this was done, the sooner I could sleep. The sooner I could figure out what the hell was wrong with my other half.

Nylion moved on to the next line of prisoners, drawing more Corruption from them, and as an ecstasy of power pounded through our body, I choked on it. My other half, however, thrived. He skipped from body to body, less intent on the task of returning humanity to these near-Kiraak than on the Corruption held within them.

Somehow, I heard a door opening behind us, despite all the worries and turmoil trying to drown me. I shoved aside Daevetch’s constantly roiling temptation, focusing on learning who’d come inside, but Nylion didn’t move to investigate, too intent on his current project. When steel clashed on steel, however, I turned cold.

NYL! CHECK ON HADRION! I shouted.

Finally, my other half spun toward the noise, stumbling to a stop as soon as he had.

With an amused smile distorting her features, a black-eyed Enforcer was casually defending herself from Hadrion’s attacks toward the front of the room, and after a breath, Nylion sprinted for them, releasing a portion of the power he’d accumulated at her feet. Deflecting the bolt with a shadow-coated hand, the Enforcer dragged an off-center Hadrion against her chest, lightly pressing her blade against his throat, and Nylion halted, spinning his arms to keep from careening to the ground.

“Oh, good,” the Enforcer said. “I wasn’t sure if you cared about this one, considering how much Corruption you were consuming.”

Nylion, let me out, I said. I’m better at-

“Let him go,” Nylion snapped.

What was he doing? This was neither the time nor the place for him to practice with his social skills and-

“Why would I do that? If I did, you’d only kill me,” the Enforcer asked. “No. Let’s play hostage exchange instead. If I were to release this weakling, I’d need someone more important than him as a replacement, perhaps someone my master’s been wanting to add to his collection. If said person wouldn’t need to have primeancy forced on him, it would be an added advantage.”

When she flashed a smile, Nylion bristled.

“Are you talking about me?” he growled.

Fucking bitch, you fucking bitch, I will KILL you, I will… no, no. Cannot do-

Were those… Nylion’s thoughts?

Nyl, you should do as she’s suggesting, I said. Come on. You know we could escape her clutches later, once she’s let her guard down. It would be so easy…

“Why would I do as you have asked?” Nylion said. “The exchange you are proposing seems uneven, to say the least.”

Frozen in our mind, I hissed What the HELL, Nylion?

And Nylion blinked.

Heart of my heart. You are not asleep, he said. You- you should not be here. If this does not go well…

No. You listen to me, I said. That is Hadrion, Ren’s little brother. Go with the Enforcer. We’ll be fine, and you know it. Even if we couldn’t escape from her, we have Rhylix watching over us. Once captured, nothing would stop him from rescuing us, not even death.

“I thought you cared for this one, but perhaps I was wrong.”

Tightening her grip, the Enforcer pushed her blade into Hadrion’s neck hard enough to draw blood.

Taking a jerked step forward, Nylion said, “No! I will-”

But Hadrion cut him off.

“Don’t do it, Raimie! She’s going to kill me any-hrrk.”

Having punched the teenager in the throat, the Enforcer shook out her hand.

“That’s better,” she said.

Oh… I am going to DESTROY her. Fucking horrid bitch, just like HER. All of them. I will annihilate them all.

With a slow breath out, Nylion calmly said, “What have you done with the rest of my people? Have you harmed them?”

Panic squeezed my thoughts into a pinpoint of need.

What are you doing? I shrieked. Drop your weapons and give up! Or give me control back! I can-

“They’re fine. I shade melded past them,” the Enforcer said. “The poor dears think that all’s well in here.”

Shifting Nylion lowered Silverblade a fraction more.

I cannot give you control, heart of my heart, he whispered. If this goes poorly, I will not have it on your hands.

…What? I said.

Ignoring the storm raging within us, Nylion said, “I will give myself into your custody as soon as Hadrion is safe in the hands of my people outside.”

“Ha! Why in the void would I trust you enough to take the first step like that?” the Enforcer said.

“Because I am not like your master,” Nylion growled. “When I give my word, I keep it.”

Holy hell, the outrage flooding from my other half… it washed over me, and I went limp beneath the deluge of it.

I was resuscitated when Hadrion’s stance shifted, turning both me and Nylion cold.

“You can’t give up, Raimie,” he said. “You need to be free if we’re to see Doldimar dead, so…”

Taking a few short breaths, he quirked a sad smile.

“Tell Ky I said I’m sorry.”

Then, he grabbed the Enforcer’s blade with his bare hands before using both his hold and a jerked forward body to cut his own throat.

“NO!” NO!

For a space absent time, two people controlled one body, completely in concert with one another, and the world slowed down. Hadrion slipped out of the Enforcer’s grasp, uncaring of the sharp edge that was peeling away his skin. Behind the woman, the room’s door banged open, revealing Kylorian’s anxious face, and the Enforcer’s eyes widened.

Screaming, Nylion and I shot Daevetch at the woman’s legs, and everything below her knees disappeared. She dropped to the floor, and we leapt on her, vaguely aware of Kylorian sprinting past us. We swung Silverblade in violent curves above our head and into her flesh over and over and over and over and over and over…

When the average pace of time resumed, the Enforcer was meaty paste beneath Nylion’s boots, and our throat was rubbed raw.

This is… my fault, my other half haltingly said. If I was better… or if I had seen-

No, it’s mine, I breathed. I was supposed to protect him.

The sobs behind us could only be Kylorian, and we let his grief speak to our sorrow.

We always do this, don’t we? I said. Assume responsibility for the horrible things others do. Neither of us is to blame for… this. She is.

Nylion kicked the last intact fragment of the Enforcer’s head, sending it skittering across the floorboards.

“What happened here?”

At that threatening tone, Nylion twirled like a top. Kylorian was hovering over his younger brother with his sword drawn, and his cold eyes bored straight through Nylion and into me.

With his voice choked, Nylion said, “She took him hostage while I was working on a Kiraak, and before I could remand myself into her custody, he cut his throat on her blade.”

“And why would he do that?” Kylorian asked, taking a step forward.

Oh, shit. He was looking for someone to blame, and we were the closest target. Fucking hell, no! Why couldn’t it have been someone else?

Swallowing, Nylion said, What do I say?

And despite how bad of an idea it would be, I said, Tell him the truth. It’s what he needs.

No matter how much it would most definitely hurt us. Kylorian was the one in more pain right now. He needed help. Not us.

Never us.

When Nylion spoke, the words felt as if they’d been torn from me, no matter that I wasn’t the one speaking them.

“He believed that I must remain free so I can fulfill that damn foretelling and defeat Doldimar.”

Alouin, how that had hurt to say… or maybe hear, echoing in this miserable place like the loudest of bells.

“So, this is your fault,” Kylorian said.

Lifting his sword’s point, he advanced on us like an approaching storm, and cautiously raising Silverblade, Nylion backed away.

“I did not ask him to do what he did,” he said.

“You were supposed to protect him,” Kylorian roared in response.

Stopping short, Nylion went stiff, and on feeling all that was coursing through my other half, I reached for him, only to touch him too late.

“I am only responsible for protecting one person in this world,” he said, “and it was not your brother.”

Oh… fuck. Oh, no. Oh…

“I’ll kill you!” Kylorian cried.

He attacked with a ferocity that startled me, but my other half countered it with ease. Every time Kylorian jabbed at us, Nylion blocked the strike. One of them swung, and the other dodged, but as in every fight I’d ever watched him in, Nylion had the upper hand.

When he landed a glancing blow along Kylorian’s ribs, he gleefully hissed, and I knew something had gone very, very wrong with him.

Nyl, I think you should let go now, I said.

Snarling, my other half rained a flurry of blows on Kylorian. The other man dodged and evaded as best he could, but he rolled his wrist too far on a final parry, which had his sword flying out of his hands.

Nyl…

Triumphantly shouting, Nylion kicked Kylorian’s feet out from under him before swinging his sword toward the other man’s face.

GIVE ME CONTROL RIGHT NOW!

I barely stopped Silverblade from cleaving Kylorian in two. Rolling away, he retrieved his sword, warily watching for my next attack, but instead, I flung Silverblade away from me.

“You’re right!” I said. “I was supposed to protect him, and I’m sorry that I couldn’t. But I didn’t kill him. That’s on the Enforcer.”

“You shouldn’t have killed her,” Kylorian hissed.

With a nod, I said, “I should have left that for you, yes. But ultimately, the blame for Hadrion’s death lies squarely at his feet. He decided to die rather than pose a liability to me, never trusting that I could save him or myself, and now, we have to live with his decision.”

“How dare you!” Kylorian choked out with tears spilling from his eyes. “He did it for you!”

“And it was very noble,” I said. “But it was also a mistake.”

For a moment, I hoped logic might have won out over emotion for once, but as I’d thought might happen once I was finished with speaking, Kylorian rushed me. I sprayed a cone of Ele at his chest, pinning him to the far wall. Now, I only needed to maintain this flow of energy until…

Oswin and my best friend burst into the room. They started to take in the carnage, but I couldn’t wait for them to process the scene.

“Rhy!” I shouted. “A little help, please.”

My friend jerked his head up, flicking a thread of Ele into Kylorian’s eyes, and as he lost consciousness, I gratefully released my hold on white light.

“What happened in here?”

I wasn’t sure who’d said that, dazedly stumbling toward Hadrion’s older brother as I was. I didn’t know how long I stared at Kylorian’s sleeping face before the numbness that had overtaken me slipped away, but once it had, I slid down the wall next to someone who could have been my friend, huddling in a ball.

“Rhy? Can you-?” I asked without hope, gesturing toward the mess by the door.

After a moment, my friend said, “I’m sorry. He’s long gone.”

Nodding, I banged my head on the wall. The sensation felt nice, relieving some of what was threatening to tear me into pieces, so I did it again. And again.

I didn’t understand why I was so upset. Sure, Hadrion and I had been growing closer, but even still, we hadn’t had many interactions with each other. During the winter we’d spent in Tiro, he’d been more Rhylix’s friend than mine.

Unconsciously, I skittered my gaze toward my friend, which was a mistake. Ryvolim had assumed the distant, otherworldly look he donned when he was in the midst of fighting off a breakdown. Compared to that or Kylorian’s devastation—to Ren’s yet to be realized loss—what was my pathetic grief?

Hadrion’s gap-toothed grin floated into my vision, tearing through me, but before I could lose myself to the storm waiting in the wings, the door opened once more.

Little didn’t bother with commenting on the scene spread before him. He simply crouched and took my hand, and that single point of contact stopped me from once more smashing my head against the wall.

“I bring you good news, Your Majesty,” he said. “The Birthing Grounds are yours. The day is won.”

At this, I scanned a room full of hanging Kiraak, a mash of paste that had been an Enforcer, and the corpse that had been a friend. I crookedly smiled before anguish dragged me, kicking and screaming, into the maelstrom of its relentless hold.