Chapter Thirty

Raimie

I’d been doing this for three months, but even still, when I opened a window for tonight’s escapade, I looked out over Daira’s landscape with longing. It was rather beautiful, and as I had every night since Kaedesa had dragged me here, I wondered why I was seeing it again.

Escape would be so simple for me. Gods, I could hear it calling, but Eledis said he had a plan, and I trusted my grandfather.

“Get a move on, would you? We don’t have all night.”

I glared at Dim, which only made them giggle. If I wanted to, I could stop their delight. Weeks ago, I’d learned that if I wanted to insult the Daevetch splinter, I should be pleasant to them rather than nasty, but pissing them off didn’t seem like a good idea right now.

Instead, I drew on Daevetch, having its energy coat my hands like gloves, and Dim shuddered. Shaking my head, I climbed out the window so I could make my way down the castle wall.

The first part of my descent was easy with windowsills and buttresses serving as hand and footholds. Once those ran out, however, I had to hope that I could find a trail of holes—created over the weeks by Daevetch—to reach the ground. Otherwise, I’d have to make a new one.

Tonight, that wasn’t necessary. Soon enough, I jumped from a last perch, rolling when I hit the ground, and after dusting myself off, I glanced up at my room’s window with my hands on my hips.

I’d had to escape from my room unnoticed for about two months now, all part of my antics to keep the queen entertained. Despite every new and fantastic primeancy technique I’d learned over the last three months, this escape route would soon be discovered—how could it not be?—and when that happened, I wasn’t sure how I’d slip past my guards unnoticed.

The first few times I’d done this, I’d walked past the man, fast asleep on duty, who’d been watching my room. When he’d been replaced, I’d fooled a few of the new guards into thinking I was a servant, tending to the prisoners, before they’d known better, and once or twice, I’d gotten out during a shift change, but in general, that window had been my best way of escaping. Who’d believe that someone could survive a climb as impossible as that?

“Raimie, your timeframe…”

I know, Bright, I said.

Quietly racing through the castle’s grounds, I considered tonight’s destination, ignoring how uneven that made my breathing. It wouldn’t be like my trips to Kaedesa’s library, rumored to be one of the most extensive book collection in the world.

I’d been doing a lot of research there, mostly on things that might help me and Eledis escape—like a castle floorplan—but I’d also looked into other subjects of interest, such as primeancy or what little I could find on Doldimar. I’d even done more reading on etiquette, to my dismay, and on a single night, I let myself investigate certain foretellings as well as… as…

That night, I’d spent far too long tearing through the library, seeking a single mention of the Balancer. My splinters hadn’t been pleased by my poking around and I…

Besides that single night, I didn’t let myself think about that. Not anymore.

In addition to the library, I’d thoroughly explored the castle, frequently visiting its barracks. I’d needed a space where I could practice the skills Rhylix had taught me, but I didn’t go there often. It was too dangerous.

Not nearly as dangerous as what I had planned for tonight, though.

Kaedesa’s interest in me was waning. Where we’d spent hours together at first, discussing my life or other nonsensical things, she hardly ever called on me lately. Not only that but from what I could tell, her court’s disposition toward me wasn’t favorable. Given how highly they influenced their queen, I was pretty sure of my coming fate, once she’d made up her mind about it.

So, I’d decided to try something drastic tonight.

Having reached the door I needed, I nodded for Dim to scout ahead. I didn’t exactly trust the Daevetch splinter—they were far too mischievous for that—but unlike a certain someone, they’d do as I asked, at least in this area.

Bright, as usual, ignored my annoyed stare, but tonight, they also had their head cocked with a look of concentration wrinkling their face.

What is it? I asked.

Jumping, Bright gasped, flinging a hand to their chest.

“Sorry,” they said, licking their lips. “I have a suggestion for tonight’s activities, but I wasn’t sure… I was considering what the whole would think of it. Our… someone important to us uses the technique but it’s-”

Sneaky? I interrupted. Or that’s what I’d assume, considering what we’re doing tonight.

Nodding, Bright said, “And that’s very… of the enemy.”

Ah. The excuse that had interrupted my training so many times in the last few months. The one I was coming to despise.

With as much patience as I could muster, I said, Why don’t you share your suggestion anyway? Let me decide whether to take it. You should know I won’t abuse my powers by now.

Bright made a face.

“You have resisted Chaos’ influence admirably well,” they said.

And yours, I added with a grin.

With their expression souring, Bright said, “And mine.”

They turned to the door, keeping silent for so long that I worried Dim might return before they got their words out.

“Tell me again how it feels when you draw from my whole’s life source,” they eventually said.

Frowning, I said, There’s a point in you that’s distorted from its surroundings, and behind… or maybe through it? I don't know. On the other side of this point lies a well of unending peace and contentment, both with the world and with myself. I suck a bit of that to myself and-

White light briefly washed over my raised finger, circling my hand before it disappeared.

Now, what’s this about the whole’s life force?

“Interesting,” Bright said before wincing. “Technically, when you bring a bit of the whole to the physical plane, you’re contributing to its slow depletion.”

I just blinked at Bright.

Are you telling me I’m killing off a god when I use Ele or Daevetch? I asked.

“Technically, yes,” Bright said, “but-”

There’s no ‘but’ to something like that, Bright! I shouted. That’s awful! Gods, I should never touch primeancy again-

Bright slapped me. The blow didn’t actually land, so it didn’t hurt, but it did surprise the hell out of me, enough to shut me up.

“Get ahold of yourself, and let me finish! I swear. Humans and their emotions,” Bright hissed. “Like I was saying, both wholes’ life forces are basically infinite, or that’s how it would appear to you. You could never come close to draining one. Your primeancy use is comparable to when a mosquito tries to drain your blood. So, stop freaking out.”

A mosquito? Really?

Crossing my arms, I said, Fine. Why did you have me explain something like that?

“I had a reason for it, but I have another point to make before sharing,” Bright said. “The wholes infuse all of reality, from the ground beneath your feet to the air that you breathe, right? So, why can’t you see them?”

Unwilling to make a guess, I shrugged, but Bright didn’t seem to mind. In fact, they started pacing in front of me, randomly gesturing like Ferin had once done during her lectures.

“The physical plane covers us up. We influence it every way we can: through natural disasters, preying on living beings’ emotions, or through our primeancers,” they said. “We can’t, however, exert full control here.”

Tapping a finger on my elbow, I drawled, Fascinating. What does that have to do with anything?

Stopping, Bright wildly gestured around them.

“Everything,” they said. “It has everything to do with-”

Clicking their tongue, they sighed while rubbing their forehead.

“Look. As a primeancer, you bend the physical plane through me and Chaos, your splinters, thereby reaching through this layer of reality to touch the wholes,” they said. “You can also bend the physical plane, or reality, around yourself, essentially hiding behind the veil like the wholes do.”

So… I can make myself invisible like you, I said, which is just… holy shit, that’s awesome.

I was having a hard time with containing my excited squeal.

How do I do it?

“Draw the point you feel in me around yourself like a bubble,” Bright said. “You can manipulate your source as well as the wholes’ life forces.”

This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.

That would have been mighty useful to know before now, I said. Why didn’t you say something?

At that question, Bright looked distinctly annoyed with themselves.

“I didn’t think about it,” they said. “The technique is only useful for hiding people or things, like how Shadowsteal was concealed for so long, and besides that, the only primeancer who’s used it in recent days is… well. Your Rhylix.”

Shadowsteal had been hidden beneath the physical plane when I’d found it? If that was true, then how had I seen it?

However that question was answered, Shadowsteal’s state back then would explain why I’d fallen flat on my face when trying to pick it up for the first time. Why had my second attempt succeeded?

Shaking my head, I asked, Is this manipulating my source thing something I can only do with you? Or can I use the point in Dim as well?

Bright went still.

“You could use your source to the enemy’s whole as we’ve discussed,” they said, “but I would advise against it.”

Raising an eyebrow, I drawled, Why…?

Shifting in place, Bright picked at something on their nails.

“Using Chaos in that way would make you go insane more quickly,” they said.

Go insane? I shakily smiled.

I thought you and Dim weren’t recruiting for your wholes, I said. You seem to like that I won’t pick a side.

“No, we definitely want you undecided.”

Spinning, I nearly had a heart attack on seeing how close Dim had come to my back. While I caught my breath, the splinter stuck their tongue out.

“And the predictable one is right,” they said. “Primeancers on my side have unbelievable power at their disposal, but they all eventually go barking mad.”

Jerking forward, Dim barked like a dog, snapping their teeth in my face, and stumbling backward, I fell to the ground, which had the splinter roaring with laughter.

“You- you’re good to go inside,” they gasped, wiping tears from their eyes. “No one in sight for quite a ways.”

Carefully getting to my feet, I let out a long, slow breath.

“Ele it is,” I said.

With their eyes flying open, Dim said, “Wait, what?”

Ignoring them, I reached for my source in Bright. It was resistant to me, disinclined to stretch like I wanted, but after a few unsuccessful tugs, I got it around my body, sealing it where it joined together.

“Oh,” Dim said, slumping with relief. “Oh, I see. That’s brilliant, kid, and kudos on not using me. That would have been an interesting experience for you.”

Smirking, I said, Wasn’t my idea.

“Really?” Dim said, drawing their eyebrows together. “Then, who-?”

Beside me, Bright threw two fingers in a wave, and Dim made a funny noise before gagging.

“Nope!” they said. “Nope, I take it all back.”

Bright chuckled under their breath, although they frowned when they noticed my unabashed staring.

Did it work? I asked. And if it did, why can I still see you? Wait. Should I be able to see you?

“So far as I can tell it worked, but the only way we’ll know for sure is to test it,” Bright said. “As for seeing me… should we get into that now, considering your timetable?”

When I refused to move, they sighed.

“Fine. I’m your source, yes?” they said. “That means I’m surrounding you right now.”

I tried to hide how much that idea made my skin crawl, although I wasn’t sure if I succeeded with it.

With a sour look, Bright said, “As you know, what you’re seeing isn’t truly me. My true form is-”

Something that I never want to see again, I interrupted, remembering a war between light and darkness, viewed long ago.

Pausing, Bright flicked their eyes to Dim, whose countenance and bearing had gone grim.

“I hope you’ll never have to,” Dim said before turning away.

“The point, though, is that these human projections you’re seeing? They’re representations of us. Not real,” Bright continued. “So, why would they always appear where we’re located in the moment?”

After thinking for a moment, I said, They’re shown to make me comfortable. How much of what you do is for my comfort?

Dim spun toward me with a snarl.

“What’s it matter?” they growled. “You’ve wasted enough time talking. I swear to me, I’ll make your life miserable if you waste the time that I spent scouting, so chop-fucking-chop.”

They double clapped in my face, and with a single glare, I eased the door open a crack. I might be invisible, but a door opening by itself would look strange to the passing observer.

Once inside, I crept through the castle on silent feet, perfectly aware that other people could probably still hear me. When I ran across my first guard, I froze while she strolled past, yawning. I cringed in place until she disappeared around a corner, and after she had, it took considerable effort not to release my held breath in a burst.

I was invisible. Actually invisible. That was… gods.

As I hurried toward my goal, I could swear I was on top of the world. Every time Ele and Daevetch started to feel commonplace, another application came around to remind me that I had magic.

Hell, if only the Raimie who’d just learned he was a primeancer could see me now. It was amazing how drastically using primal energy had changed my view on it. I’d never forgotten what a death sentence it would be, if I was ever found out, but before that happened, I would enjoy this.

Once I reached my destination, I leaned against the wall opposite a set of doors, waiting for the coming guard change. I’d been here a few times before, but it had always been with an escort. Fortunately, figuring out the castle guard’s shifts had been fairly simple, which had surprised me. Shouldn’t security for a queen be… better?

For a little while, I’d thought the patrol patterns were so predictable because Kaedesa’s famed spies, most notably her Hand, gave her an extra line of defense, but in the time I’d been here, I hadn’t seen a sign of one.

Keeping to the shadows was, of course, part of a spy’s job, but seeing nothing in three months? That seemed strange.

What did I know, though? Court life and political intrigue were still new to me.

The next shift’s guards soon arrived, but before the two they were replacing could leave, the new arrivals had to secure their assigned room. When they entered it to make their check, I slipped in behind them. I waited until they’d left before letting my source retract to its starting point.

“All right,” Dim said beside me, rubbing their hands together. “This will be fun.”

Rolling my eyes at them, I started my search of Queen Kaedesa’s bedroom. Hopefully, I’d find Shadowsteal here.

I’d looked everywhere for it: the throne room, the entrance hall, Kaedesa’s personal weapons collection. Nothing. When the queen had first summoned me here several weeks ago, I’d noticed the plethora of finely crafted weapons scattered across her bedchamber, but I’d never gotten a chance to inspect them, and I’d delayed with searching this place because…. well.

It was the Queen of Ada’ir’s bedroom.

But with things looking desperate, I found myself here, breathlessly examining a familiar room in the dark of night. Without light to illuminate it, it felt more cavernous than it had in the past, and I took trepidatious steps across its woven rugs, starting a slow circuit of the room.

I passed a wardrobe, vanity, and divider, flushing at the memory of when I’d accidently seen Kaedesa changing behind that last piece of furniture. As always, when I passed King Belqarim’s portrait, I bowed, ever giving respect to the man who’d led this kingdom when I was born. Kaedesa, of course, got much more of my esteem, given all the shit that she’d had to put up with in the years since, but even still, I bowed to her deceased husband.

As I made my way to the doors that led onto the balcony, I found many wonderful and fantastic instruments of death, but none of them were what I sought. Before I knew it, I was a few paces from the room’s bed, and the sight of Kaedesa, asleep with her hair splayed around her head, stopped me short. I’d never seen her so unguarded before.

“Go on. You know you want to get in there with her,” Dim said with a wicked grin. “Imagine what that smart mouth of hers could do if you gave her the right nudge.”

I snapped my head to the splinter, half aware of Bright popping from behind Dim to my side.

“You’re disgusting,” we hissed together.

Dim only laughed, as if they’d told a brilliant joke, and I wanted to slap them silly. Before I could, however, Bright puffed up, seeming to tower over Dim, and the Daevetch splinter took a step back.

“No,” Bright growled. “I will… ignore many of your despicable habits, but you will not do or say things of that nature when around me, or our association is over. NO.”

With saucers for eyes, Dim slowly raised their hands.

“Ok. Understood,” they said. “I’m sorry.”

No, you’re not, I said.

But then, I squinted at a small table beside the bed. A stack of journals, much like the one Kaedesa had used during our first meeting, was sitting on it. Over the last three months, I’d seen her using those on and off. I’d always wondered what she was recording in them.

Flashing a grin, Dim said, “I’m glad at least you understand me.”

“Ugh. I can’t even-”

Vigorously scrubbing their face, Bright released a frustrated shriek into their hands while I glided around the bed.

Stop, Bright. They can’t help their nature, I said, and now that they know how deeply we dislike that sort of behavior, they won’t do it again.

Picking up the topmost journal from a stack of them, I flipped it open, frowning at what I found. Unintelligible scrawl filled the page—a shorthand, maybe?—but it was organized into entries, each labeled by date. Unlike with most private journals, however, there was a lengthy entry for every day of this week, and as I continued flipping through the journal, this trend continued. How curious.

Disappointed that I wouldn’t get a deeper look into Queen Kaedesa’s mind, I replaced the journal.

“Balancer,” two voices breathed behind me.

I jerked toward my splinters so quickly that I nearly knocked the journal stack over. Dim and Bright were staring at me with the same aura of fragile awe that they’d worn months before, apparently having forgotten their recent argument, and a shiver ran down my spine.

Don’t do that, I snapped. If you insist on turning into resentful assholes every time I bring that word up, then you don’t get to talk about it either.

I’d gotten past the sitting area in the room’s corner before either of them replied.

“I suppose that’s fair,” Bright said.

You SUPPOSE?

Something about a weapons display, hanging from the wall ahead, caught my eyes, and I hurried toward it. This search was taking too long.

“It is fair,” Dim sighed.

Rolling my eyes, I said, Thank you.

But then, I recognized the sword in front of me, and I forgot my splinters. Reverently, I lifted Silverblade off of the display it had been hanging from with my lips parted.

How had this gotten here? That Zrelnach… Jeme had said she’d get it into good…

A slip of parchment, attached to the sword’s cross guard, fluttered to the ground, and for a moment, I stared at it, scowling. How had I missed that?

Absently, I tucked Silverblade under my arm while retrieving the piece of paper. Unfolding it, I froze when I saw that the note inside was addressed to me, but then, my eyes were flying over its words.

> Raimie,

>

> It is with great sorrow and regret that I must inform you I’ve come to a decision about your status in my kingdom.

>

> First, I want you to know that this was not my first choice. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed having you here. Hearing about everything you’ve done while in Daira—my librarian’s outrage at your intrusions in their workplace my favorite bit of mischief by far—has been a joy, and as I’ve come to know you, I’ve grown to like who you are. Your intelligence, ingenuity, and wit put my courtiers to shame, and from the glimpse of it that you’ve shown me, I know your kindness is vast. I would hate to deprive the world of such a talented youth.

>

> I’m afraid, however, that this is what I must do.

>

> Outside forces have pressured me into this decision, people who believe you’re a rebel. After our time together, I know that even if you are one, it was a role you unwittingly accepted, but I haven’t convinced others to share my certainty.

>

> Thus, this note. I’m hoping that soon, you’ll come to collect what’s yours, and when you find it missing, you’ll accept this gift, along with my message, instead. I know it’s not the blade you wanted, but it’s what I can surrender for now.

>

> Raimie, please heed my words. Flee while you can. Leave the old man behind because he isn’t who you think he is. Unlike you, my decision about him was made long ago.

>

> So, I beg you. For once, think of yourself first, and save your life.

>

> Thank you for the most diverting few months that I’ve had in years. May we meet again under more favorable circumstances.

>

> -Kaedesa

“Shit,” three voices muttered together.

I dropped the note and ran. Bursting through the doors, I heard guards shouting for me to stop, but I’d soon left them behind, careening through the castle.

Frantically, I pulled my source around my body. Yes, my slapping feet were echoing down the corridor, but if a possible hostile couldn’t see where I was coming from, it would give me a slight advantage.

When I reached the corridor my room opened onto, I didn’t stop. I barreled for the guard stationed outside of it, even as he turned toward my clatter. At the last second, I dropped my bubble, and the guard’s eyes sprang open, right as I tackled him.

I was upright the second we hit the ground. Taking hold of the guard’s head, I smashed it into the flagstones until he went limp. Then, I pressed my fingers into his neck. On feeling a steady pulse, I slumped over him for a moment, catching my breath, but as soon as I could, I leapt to my feet.

Barging into my room, I shouted, “Eledis, that plan of yours better be ready because we need to-”

Clicking my teeth together, I pulled up short, teetering in place. In front of a cracked-open window, Eledis was sitting in our only chair, and a man wearing a military uniform was standing over him.