“I’m worried about Rafe.”

With the day almost over, I was sitting in bed, waiting for Lirilith to join me. She was taking a long time in the washroom tonight, long enough that my thoughts had once more turned to the anxiety that had been eating at me in the months since Rafe’s recovery.

It hadn’t been too bad at first. People had reacted to something they’d considered ‘unnatural’ with unexpected stoicism, but tensions had been rising in the city lately. Despite the thrashing we’d given them a decade ago, the human kingdoms had once more moved against the empire. Rumors of another war were rife in the city, which had people on edge, and this had started eroding Rafe’s protection.

“That boy will be fine, Eri. He has people looking out for him, and his status as a noble will make anyone think twice before hurting him,” Lirilith said. “So, stop worrying. Tell me how your research went today.”

Groaning, I thunked my head on the wall. Shortly after the accident, Arivor and I had compared notes about what we’d experienced on the day in question, but unfortunately, my friend couldn’t add much to what I’d already known. Considering he’d been unconscious throughout those events, his ignorance hadn’t surprised me, but from the smattering of disconnected memories that Arivor did recall, one thing had stood out.

Unlike the strange circumstances that had me in consistently perfect health, Daevetch, the substance that had infected Arivor, wouldn’t let him heal. Fortunately, it ignored small things like bruises or stubbed toes, but anything more, like burns, would stay present for the rest of his life.

When Arivor had woken up in that place of darkness and light, this delightful fact had been the only thing that Alouin had shared before sending him away like he had with me.

My healing trick didn’t work on him either. We’d learned that the hard way.

Since then, Arivor and I had spent every free hour scouring the city for information about Daevetch. We hadn’t found much, just vague or useless facts, and I was getting frustrated with the lack of progress. In a sick way, I was glad now that it had taken so long to find a cure for Rafe. That struggle had taught me the value of having patience when a search for answers looked endless.

“Well?” Lirilith asked.

“Can we please not talk about it?” I said. “I don’t want to think about the accident or the burns on Arivor’s face or any of it. Not here.”

“Why not?”

For a moment, I was lost for words. Was she serious?

“Because this is the only place where I can drop all my cares and worries,” I said. “Because this place is safety, somewhere I can focus completely on-”

“Me?” Lirilith interrupted.

Standing in the entrance to our cramped washroom, she was leaning one shoulder against the doorframe, but as she smirked at me, I couldn’t focus on what that look might mean, not after I recognized what she was wearing.

It was her uniform from the war, but she’d removed the medals that typically hung from it, and the jacket’s top buttons were undone. With her hair pulled into a messy bun, a few strands—

The exact same ones. By the stars, how had she remembered that?

—had fallen around her face, and she’d painted her lips and eyes.

The clencher, however, was the necklace peeking from beneath her neckline. Lirilith only got that piece out for the most serious and special of occasions. It was all she had left of her mother.

Looking at this ensemble, I was struck by a sense of déjà vu, one so strong that it transported me to the years of the war. On the night Lirilith was evoking, we’d camped near the battlefield, too tired to flee the cries of the dying and the smell of those already gone. She’d received new orders a few hours previous, and after she’d shared them with us, I’d crawled into my bedroll, dreading the next day.

Right as I’d been drifting off, I’d heard a voice outside my tent. When I’d lifted the flap, I’d found a twin of the woman before me now, and she’d said-

“May I come inside, Sergeant Eriadren?” present-day Lirilith asked.

Licking my lips, I scooched backward in bed, remembering one of the best nights of my life.

“Of course, commander,” I said, echoing a past version of myself.

Lirilith stalked forward, crawling over our bed sheets until she was sitting in front of me. Hesitantly, she brushed my cheek, and I leaned into it, exactly as I once had.

“Are you ok?” she asked.

And again, I felt the urge to look away from her, although the cause was different now.

“I’ll survive,” I said.

Again, Lirilith smacked the bedding beside me, drawing her face into the fiercest of expressions.

“That’s not good enough,” she said.

As my cajoling urge insisted, I looked away, focusing on the sword that I kept propped in the corner of our room. It was a much better sight than the blood-stained blade that had once lain at the head of my bedroll.

“What do you want me to say, Lirilith?” I said. “Should I talk about how terrified I am or my fear for Arivor? What if I can’t keep him safe, like I promised? Should I share how I won’t sleep tonight, too eaten up by guilt to find dreams?”

Hell, it was uncanny how well those words fit my present-day circumstances too.

“I understand,” Lirilith said.

And here, she’d paused. And here, I’d silently begged for her to stay. I hadn’t been sure what I’d do if she’d left me alone in that cold tent.

When her voice burst on my ears, as sharp as it had been back then, I almost smiled instead of reeling away, as I should.

“You’re not the only one feeling these things, asshole,” Lirilith snapped. “All of us are, but if we’re to survive this war, we must help each other with them. So, help me, Sergeant Eriadren, by letting me help you. At the least, I can fix the last thing you mentioned.”

I couldn’t help but smile now, even if I kept my eyes fixed on my sword.

“I don’t know…” I said.

By the stars, I’d tried to project uncertainty into that phrase, mimicking the same tone I’d had back then, but hell, if I hadn’t failed miserably with it.

Wrapping her hands in my tunic, Lirilith growled, “Look at me.”

When I refused with my grin turning impish, she shook me.

“I said look at me.”

So, I did, but here, Lirilith went off script. Releasing me, she grabbed something lying on the bed beside her, bringing it into view.

“Join with me, Eri,” she said with a shy smile.

I stared at the red sticks she was holding. She wanted to do a Joining?

First, the necklace and the recreation of our first night together and now, this. Suddenly, I was apprehensive. What was going on? Was something wrong?

“Are you sure?” I asked. “It’s been a while…”

I trailed off at the pleading in her eyes.

“I know,” Lirilith said, “but still, I’m asking.”

Hesitantly, she extended a stick toward me, and I took it.

“Thank you,” Lirilith said, more relieved than she should be. “I love you, Eri.”

She broke her stick, breathing in its red particles, and bracing for what was coming, I did the same.

But then, I was her, and she was me, and we were we. We knew exactly what the one we loved wanted and what the one we loved feared, but those fears dissipated once we realize how silly they’d been.

As the one we loved wished, we reached for them, drawing them to us. Our lips pressed against something wonderfully soft—or was it familiarly chapped?—and when we opened our mouths, letting our tongues taste tongue and teeth and skin, we sighed, running our hands over our loved one’s body. We pulled clothes off of them, desperate to press our skin together, and when we did… ahh…

Pulling on our loved one’s hair, we panted, “Stop, stop. We need-”

But they quieted us with a kiss, whispering into our mouth.

“We know, love.”

It was slow and careful, but soon enough, we were as thoroughly merged physically as we were mentally. And all we could do was look into our loved one’s eyes, watching them go wide. Their face slackened, leaving only bliss behind. Every muscle, every vein, every bit of us was filled with this, and consciousness was gone for however long it took that swell to crest and diminish.

When we returned from this, we were lying on our loved one, struggling to breathe. Their weight was uncomfortably pinning us, so we rolled over, bouncing as our loved one curled up beside us. The Joining, however, wasn’t over, although it was fading… fading…

Hazily, I, Eriadren, watched Lirilith as she paced across the kitchen, gnawing on her thumb. What…?

Holy shit, she’d reversed it. I was seeing her past after our consciousnesses had wound together. How on earth had she-?

I was dragged across time. Its events flashed by too quickly for me to register them, and when the rush slowed down once more, I was sitting beside Lirilith in a healing house’s waiting area.

Oh, no. Was she sick? Was that why-?

“Lirilith?”

A stout woman beckoned my wife into a private room, and once inside, Lirilith took a seat.

“Go on, my dear,” the healer said, getting herself settled. “What’s wrong?’

Uncomfortably shifting, Lirilith clasped her hands in her lap, staring at them, and I wished that I could have been there to support her.

“My- my cycles,” she said, swallowing hard. “They’ve… stopped, and I… I’m sterile, so I’m worried…”

She couldn’t continue, and I was stuck watching her. Oh, Alouin, why hadn’t she come to me?

She hadn’t wanted to worry me. Yes, I got that, but I could have told her-

Wait. Was this what I thought it was?

“All right,” the healer said. “I’m going to list some symptoms, and you’ll tell me if you’ve experienced them. Can you do that?”

When Lirilith nodded, the healer started, and as she went on, I leaned my elbows on my knees, hiding my face. My poor wife… she’d avoided this side of her life for so long that she’d thought this, something most women would recognize, had been her body failing her.

Once the healer was finished with her list, she chuckled.

“My dear, you’re not sick,” she said. “Unless you consider the miracle of life a disease, that is.”

When Lirilith stiffened, I laid a hand on her arm, even knowing she wouldn’t feel it.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

The healer’s face crinkled.

“Why, you’re with child, my dear,” she said.

The Joining snapped, leaving me alone in my body. I had no connection to the one I loved, and as I shuddered, tears spilled over my cheeks.

I didn’t know how long I stayed like that, adjusting to a solitary existence again, but when I was aware of the world once more, Lirilith was hovering over me with worry pinching her face. Softly smiling, I tangled my fingers in her hair, humming when she leaned into my hand, until everything from the Joining integrated. Once it had, I snapped my eyes open wide.

“You’re with child?” I said.

Grinning, Lirilith nodded.

“We… we’re having a baby?” I asked, terrified and desperate for the answer.

Years, we’d wanted this. Years and now… now…

Leaning down to me, Lirilith whispered, “Yes.”

She kissed me, and for a beat, my poor brain tried to process everything.

But then, I tackled her into our sheets. Thus, we performed a repeat of our Joining.

Once we’d finished, we stayed awake for a while, making plans and talking about our hopes and joy and everything, but eventually, Lirilith fell asleep on my shoulder. For a while, I watched her dream before following her into that unconscious state.

----------------------------------------

As I watched a woman weep over her murdered daughter, my sword was heavy in my hand. I let its tip fall into the dirt, and she spun, becoming fury incarnate as she stalked toward me. She screamed and cursed, soon bending down to pinch my blade. Resting it on her chest, she fiercely grinned at me.

“I told you. You shouldn’t have done something you’ll regret.”

She thrust herself onto my sword, and life fled from her, but as it did, her skin and clothing flaked away, revealing the figure of white light beneath. As it stepped free of my blade, another guise oozed over its body, and I stared at a copy of myself while the wound in his chest knit together.

“Now, you’re ours,” he said.

----------------------------------------

Gasping, I shot upright, half-aware of the cold sweat covering me, and with a shiver, I rubbed my arms.

“Eri?” Lirilith sleepily said. “What’s the mat-?”

A frantic noise, coming from below, interrupted her. Who could be knocking at this hour of the morning? Whoever it was, they couldn’t have brought anything good with them.

As I got out of bed, I pointed at Lirilith.

“Stay here. I can handle this,” I said. “You have more than yourself to worry about now.”

If you come across this story on Amazon, be aware that it has been stolen from Royal Road. Please report it.

Paling, Lirilith glanced at her abdomen.

“Ok,” she said.

As I got dressed, my best knife went into my trousers’ waistband, and snatching my sword from its corner, I raced downstairs. Once at the door, I eased it open, hiding my weapon behind it.

Arivor was on the other side.

As always, I sought out the bandaging on his cheek, but it wasn’t there tonight, displaying his burns for the world to see. Frowning, I was wondering why he’d do such a thing when he snapped his fingers in my face.

“Let us in,” he hissed. “They’re coming.”

Automatically, I flung the door open, ushering Arivor and- and Rafe—fuck—inside.

“What’s going on?” I asked.

Nervously, Arivor glanced at his son, and I saw how badly Rafe was shaking. Crouching, I touched his elbow, and when he focused, I squeezed it.

“Hey, buddy,” I said. “You ok?”

Swallowing hard, Rafe said, “I’m scared, Uncle Eri. Angry men came to our home, looking for me…”

As he went distant, my stomach dropped. This was it, what I’d been afraid of for months. Why hadn’t Arivor gotten his family out of the city like I’d told him to do? Why had he thought he could make changes in the Council before something like this happened?

I couldn’t say any of that, not to Rafe. Never to Arivor.

“You’re safe here,” I said before pausing.

I wasn’t sure how to comfort the boy. Fortunately, Lirilith saved me, as usual.

“Why don’t you come with me?” she said. “I should have some cookies in the kitchen.”

Rafe barked a shaky laugh.

“That sounds good, Aunt Lirilith,” he said.

Once they’d gone, I turned on Arivor to demand an explanation, but his drawn demeanor—by the stars, my stomach clenched on seeing that look—almost had me pausing.

Even still, I had to know.

“Well?” I said.

Rubbing his eyes, Arivor said, “Goons from the Council came to our estate, demanding Rafe. I had Clariss stall while getting him out and…”

He shuffled in place, and I suppressed a grin, knowing why he was uncomfortable.

“And you came to me because with my history, I might know a way out of the city,” I said.

Ducking his head, Arivor said, “Yes. I’m sorry, Eri, but I didn’t know what else to-”

“I have a way out,” I said.

When he looked up at me, I stuck my tongue out.

“Of course I have a way to escape this city. I’m not some pampered noble,” I said with a smirk.

But then, I turned serious.

“You were right to come here.”

Frowning, Arivor drawled, “So…?’

I grimaced.

“So, you won’t like it,” I said. “My bolt hole starts in my shed.”

Recoiling from me, Arivor said, “But that’s where-”

“I’m perfectly aware of where it is,” I interrupted. “This is my home.”

Arivor and I still weren’t sure what Alouin had made in my shed. After the fire, Lirilith and I had rebuilt the rickety place so we could hide that wretched, black pinhole, but the sense of unease it gave off had us believing that it wasn't good.

“You’d be exposed for thirty seconds, tops,” I said. “The entrance is in the shed’s corner while the exit’s in my mother’s home. You remember her?”

With a fond smile, Arivor said, “How could I forget such a gracious lady?”

Somehow, I hid how much his words warmed me. Since graduation, I hadn’t interacted with my mother, and I missed her dearly.

“She’ll get you out of the city,” I said. “She can also get letters back in, although I’d limit that as much as you can. We can work out next steps once you and Rafe are safe, though.”

Shivering, Arivor nodded.

“Ok,” he said before shaking his arms out. “Ok.”

He looked determined now, which was heartening. Over the next few days, he’d need a great deal of fortitude, something he hadn’t been showing before.

Lunging for me, Arivor dragged me into a hug.

“Thank you, Eri,” he said. “You have no idea-”

Pounding on the door interrupted him, jerking us apart with a fearful glance exchanged.

“Open up,” someone shouted outside. “By decree of the Council, we have leave to search any home for our fugitive. If you can hear me, you have thirty seconds to open this door before we break it down.”

“Fucking damn it,” Arivor muttered.

Giving him an incredulous look, I shoved him toward the kitchen.

“Less cursing, more running,” I said.

He spared me the most cursory of glares before taking off, and I turned to my task: stalling.

“All right, all right. I’m coming!” I called. “Hold your horses.”

Meanwhile, I was ruffling my hair into more of a mess while rumpling my tunic.

“Citizen, if you don’t let us in, we are authorized to arrest you for obstructing our search,” the same voice shouted, sounding much more annoyed.

“Yes, I understand. By the stars,” I said, louder now. “I hope you understand how much of a hellion my wife can be if you wake her up before she’s ready.”

A snort had me looking over my shoulder. Leaning out of the kitchen, Lirilith signaled the all clear, retreating once I’d nodded.

“Journeyman Healer Eriadren, this is your last-”

Oh, so they did know whose home this was. Good to know.

Yanking the door open, I poured as much disdain as possible onto the squad of city guardsmen on the other side.

“What the fuck do you want?” I snapped.

One of them, their captain I presumed, waved at the air as if swatting at a bug.

“Step aside,” he said.

Crossing my arms, I said, “No. Not until someone tells me what’s-”

With a click of his tongue, the captain shoved his way past me with his subordinates filing after him. The last guard pinned me to the wall with a look of delight on his face.

Hell. What had I ever done to him?

When one of the guards ducked into the kitchen, a piercing shriek sounded, followed by a thunk. The guard hurried back out, chased by a host of utensils and plates, and I snorted. Trust my wife to create a distraction from nothing.

This went on for a while before the captain herded a wriggling, hissing Lirilith toward me. When he tossed her to me, the guard pinning me backed off, giving me barely enough time to steady her stumble.

“Control your woman,” the captain snarled.

Somehow, I kept myself from laughing at the scratch marks on his face, nodding instead. Once he was gone, I squeezed Lirilith, perfectly aware of the other guard’s scrutiny.

“Are you hurt?” I asked.

Grimacing, Lirilith said, “Manhandled but fine.”

She looked me over.

“From the way they’re tearing through our home, I’m surprised they’ve let you keep your clothes on,” she sarcastically said. “Who knows? Maybe you’re somehow hiding their quarry under there.”

‘Keep your clothes’. One of our many codes, used to ask if someone was armed during the war. Considering I was still holding my sword, Lirilith must be asking about hidden weapons.

“Even if they take my clothes, I doubt they’ll want my underpants,” I said before cupping my mouth. “They don’t seem like the type to enjoy that sort of thing.”

Our guard growled a warning, but we ignored him.

Smirking at me, Lirilith said, “Well, that’s good. I don’t have much on under this shift. If they took it, they wouldn’t get much of a strip tease.”

Got it. If this became a fight, I was in charge of protecting us until Lirilith got her hands on a weapon.

For a while, I held her with both of us flinching whenever something made of glass broke, but eventually, the captain rejoined us, looking like a cat who’d caught the canary, and the first bit of a crack spliced into my world.

“Our work’s done here,” he said. “Time to get back.”

Nodding, our guard relaxed, but I wasn’t paying attention to him.

“What are you talking about?” I asked.

Turning gleeful eyes on me, the captain smiled.

“Your bolt hole wasn’t as well hidden as you might think, Journeyman Healer,” he said. “We found our fugitives in there as well as several interesting items. In fact, now that I think about it, you should probably join us for this evening’s proceedings.”

He nodded at our guard, and that man grabbed me while the captain took my sword. I wanted to fight them, but Lirilith was standing right there. As they pulled me out of our home, she turned wide eyes on me.

“Rastchaka, Eri,” she said.

Rastchaka, the last battle of the war. Where Arivor and I had infiltrated the enemy’s ranks on a suicide mission. Where Lirilith had led the cavalry charge that had eventually saved our lives.

She wanted to repeat that.

Ok. That might work but… but she had no backup. She’d be alone in a sea of hostiles, and our home’s door was closing with her behind it, planning to do something stupid.

Now, I struggled against the guard’s hold.

“No!” I shouted. “Lirilith, no. You have to stay-”

But the door had closed, and the crack in my world spread a little further.

I was shoved into a carriage, barely catching myself on the floor before it was spurred into motion. Haltingly, I climbed into a seat. I scanned the carriage’s interior, stopping my eyes’ swing on Arivor.

He’d propped his elbows on his legs, clawing at his hair, and in the sparse moonlight, I caught a glimpse of the hysteria building in his eyes before homes threw us into shadows again.

I also noticed one important piece missing from this picture.

“Where’s Rafe?” I asked.

With a choked giggle, Arivor said, “In another carriage, taking a different route to our destination. Alouin, he must be scared.”

I was quiet for a moment, trying to think.

“Where are they taking us? The temple? The Council’s chamber?” I said. “If we know where the other carriage is headed, maybe we can intercept it. Alouin knows how easy getting out of this one would be. We’ve done it often enough.”

But Arivor was shaking his head.

“He could be anywhere. Better to stay… stay put for now,” he said while restrained sobs made him hiccup. “They too-took my son, Eri. They took him. I just- just- just- Fuck!”

He folded on himself, muffling his voice with his knees.

“I can’t lose him, not after we worked so hard to heal him.”

His shoulders started shaking, and I laid my hand on one.

“Don’t, Arivor,” I said. “He’s not lost yet, and that means we can save him. Again. By the stars, that boy’s going to owe me so many life debts.”

Laughing, Arivor relaxed, hanging from his legs for a moment, before wiping his eyes.

“You’re right. We can do this,” he said. “So, what do we have to work with? I don’t have any weapons on me. Didn’t have time to arm before fleeing.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I groaned.

“Stars, if you’d made it to the slums, you’d have been fucked,” I said before shaking my head. “I’ve got a knife. Not much, I know, but it’s something.”

I shrugged, and perking up, Arivor lifted a finger.

“And we have Lirilith,” he said. “Knowing her, she’ll be gathering our friends…. not that many of them are left in the city. Or maybe she’ll sneak into wherever we’re going-”

“She’d better not,” I growled. “Getting our friends? Sure, that’s fine, but other than that, she’d better keep her ass at home.”

Rocking back in his seat, Arivor glared at me, clearly wanting to throw a punch my way.

“Why wouldn’t she help?” he asked with a sharp tone. “We’ll need all the help we can get-”

“She’s with child, Arivor,” I snapped.

At the look on my friend’s face, I turned away.

“She told me earlier this evening.”

After a beat of silence, Arivor said, “Hell.”

“That sounds about right,” I said, chuckling.

When I glanced back at him, Arivor had his brow scrunched together while opening and closing his mouth like a fish.

“What should I-?” he said after a moment. “Do you want my congratulations? Or maybe… I’m sorry for the shitty timing? I don’t know.”

Grimacing, I waved his concern away.

“Don’t worry about it. Focus on Rafe,” I said, “but considering how little of an advantage we have, we’ll probably have to wing it with this.”

Frowning, Arivor said, “Yes. We don’t have another option, unfortunately.”

“Great.”

Sighing, I slumped in my seat, and for a long while, Arivor joined me in silence, although he looked like he was working up to something. When our carriage started slowing down, it gave him the push he needed.

“Listen. In case this goes poorly and Rafe…”

His face contorted into an expression that I’d never wanted to see on my friend, and I leaned forward to take his hand.

“Hey, it’ll be-” I started.

Jerking away from me, Arivor said, “No! I need you to listen to me!”

Stunned, I nodded while the carriage stopped, and as footsteps crunched toward its door, Arivor stared at it with panic.

“About the day of the accident,” he said. “Eri. There’s something I haven’t told you-”

The door opened, letting in a wash of noise, and at the sight of the mob on the other side, I forgot what my friend had been saying. So many people were here, people from all over the social spectrum, and all of them looked ready to murder someone.

“Not good,” I muttered.

Arivor grunted beside me, but then, we were dragged through the crowd. Fortunately, they weren’t focused on us but on the wide terrace ahead.

As guards marched us up its stairs, more of them filled in around us, and with a dry mouth, I forced my fingers away from the knife in my waistband. This was not. good.

When we climbed a final stair, letting us see across the terrace, I stopped short, ignoring the guard pushing against me. The Council was here, chatting amongst themselves, but one of them was set apart from the others. Reive scowled at his comrades from where he was babysitting… humans.

Sitting around a table, a delegation of humans was being catered to, and when Arivor and I came into view, a few of them stopped talking, glaring at us instead.

They knew us. Former enemies, perhaps? And why on earth was Reive keeping watch on them?

This, however, wasn’t what had rendered me immobile. No, that honor went to the pyre, built in the center of the terrace, and Rafe, trussed into a sitting position atop it.

Trembling so hard that it was visible from here, he kept looking around him, occasionally flinching, and when he turned his tear-streaked face toward us, his eyes went so. damn. wide. Jerking against rope, he raised his voice in a high-pitched shriek, one I hadn’t heard from him in years.

“Daddy! Daddy, please! I’m scared! What did I-? I’m sorry. Please, let me go!”

…I would end every single fucking one of these people.

When a roar split the night, the crowd’s attention snapped from a screaming little boy to Arivor. Escaping the guards around him, he ran for the pyre, easily downing two hostiles.

And with not a single weapon on him.

I was moving to help when Arivor froze in place, which made me do the same. Given the current chaos, I wasn’t sure what was happening—my friend would never stop fighting until he’d saved his son—and until I did, it was probably best to bide my time and wait for an opening.

As Reive advanced on his nephew, he had two fingers lifted in front of him, and while guardsmen took hold of Arivor, I went cold. Reive could control another person’s body? That- that was old magic. Why hadn’t I known about this?

He dropped his hand, and immediately, Arivor struggled to reach his son, but the guards had a firm hold on him this time.

“Be brave, Rafe! Everything will be fine,” he shouted. “I’ll fix this, so just- just- calm down, and don’t apologize! You did nothing wrong, ok? I love you.”

Reive stopped in front of his nephew, who demanded an explanation, and while the bastard gave it, I half-listened, scanning my surroundings for something I could use. With every reason the Councilman gave—needing to intimidate the human kingdoms, ridding the world of an abomination, restoring the family’s reputation—my face further twisted with disgust, but that dropped from me when I saw a figure roll over the terrace’s edge opposite me. She quickly scuttled into the shadows, but still, I knew her.

Lirilith. I’d know her anywhere. What was she doing here?

“I don’t understand. You have nothing more to justify murdering a child, Uncle Reive?” Arivor asked. “He’s family!”

But he said this so quietly that I could barely hear him, and I knew the fight was going out of him. Why did he always give up like this?

“I know he’s family,” Reive said. “That’s why we have to do this.”

Arivor was quiet for a moment before bursting into laughter, and sagging in the guards’ arms, he lifted his face to the sky.

“I get it now,” he gasped. “I always wondered why Eri hates you so much, but I get it now. You’re an evil son of a bitch.”

Still drooping from the guards, he lowered his head.

“If you do this, it will destroy me,” he said with his voice dead. “You will rip out every shred of decency in me and what remains…”

He clicked his tongue, and the monster mask that he revealed had me shrinking away from him, even seeing as small of a portion of it as I did.

“The shade that you’ll make of me will do everything in its power to destroy you as thoroughly as you did me,” Arivor said.

And even knowing it was a risk, I squeezed my eyes closed. Did Reive hear it? That hadn’t been a threat, meant to scare him into stopping. That had been a promise. That had meant, ‘You light this pyre, and you’re making your life a living hell.’

With a world-weary sigh, Reive said, “Someday, you’ll see I’m doing this for your own good.”

Gasping, I opened my eyes in time to see him summoning fire to a spot above his hand. While the other Council members did the same, he turned away, and as the group bent to the pyre, I reached out for that flame, desperate to pull it away from Rafe, even if it might kill me. Distantly, I was aware of Lirilith’s arm shooting out of her cloak while Arivor’s face turned red with effort.

It wasn’t enough. These people were Council members for a reason. Their control on what they were holding was too strong.

They touched that fire to the pyre’s wood, making it blaze into the night, and with their cries twining through the fire’s roar, a father and son howled.

“NOOO!”

“Daddy, no! Please!”

I’d waited too long. Too. fucking. long.

Even still, the strategist in me was ratcheting through options and their projected odds.

Option one.

I could eliminate enough of the Council to weaken their magical hold. Once I’d summoned the fire to me, I’d have to trust that Arivor could snap out of his shock in time to save Rafe. After all, using that much magic would weaken me.

Even with that, though, I seriously doubted I could finish my side of the plan before a guard ended me, which would negate any other part of the plan.

So, it would leave Rafe to die by fire.

Option two.

I could charge the pyre, sweep through the flames, and pull Rafe free of them. There were two problems with that plan, though. After twice passing through flame, I’d be in no condition to fight, and my condition would draw Lirilith and Arivor in to defend me.

Even together, fighting our way free of this mess had infinitesimally low odds of success, and again, guards would probably cut me down before I reached Rafe, leaving him to die by fire.

Who’d chosen this method of execution anyway? It wasn’t enough that they were killing an Alouin damned child, but they had to do it in such an agonizing way as well?

Absently, I watched while, as if in slow motion, a boy I cared for kicked away from the fire, scrunching on himself when it came closer. Weeping, my friend screamed his throat raw, reaching for his son from where he’d fallen to his knees.

This was Cruelty, and I loathed it.

Maybe I could devise other plans, ones with a better chance of saving Rafe’s life, but if so, I didn’t see them now. I looked at this horrible image and wanted, with all of my heart, to spread as much Mercy here as I could.

Even if it meant that when I did, my surviving loved ones would hate me.

Including Lirilith.

When I found her, my heart stopped on seeing glinting steel in her hand. She’d come to the same conclusion as me, and somehow, I knew that she’d sought me out, as I had her.

“No,” I said, even if she couldn’t hear me. “This isn’t for you.”

The guards around me shuffled, and drawing my knife from my waistband, I threw it. The blade seemed to spin, end over end, for forever, while the worst pressure I’d ever felt fought to burst free of my body, but as it had always been meant to, my knife reached its target.

And missed.

Which was impossible. During the war, I’d been the best in my unit at knife throwing. That skill couldn’t have rusted so quickly…

Rafe lifted his head toward me, and at the betrayal I saw there, radiating off of him as strong as a gale, I stumbled backward.

‘Uncle Eri-?’ I watched his lips form.

But then, his body jerked while something shiny appeared in his neck. As blood seeped around this foreign object, he toppled into the fire that he’d tried so hard to escape.

The world went still, and as it inched forward, the crack that had been growing in my vision snapped. It split like lightning, shattering the world.

And chaos erupted.

As if a hand had lifted him off of the ground, Arivor was on his feet, and shadows, like what we’d seen in Alouin’s domain, furiously whirled around him, setting the pyre’s fire into a greater frenzy. With mania and grief battling on him, he took a step forward, seeking a target among the crowd, and when his eyes landed on Reive, he smiled, raising a hand with darkness around it.

People on the terrace were running away from him, probably screaming, but I didn’t hear it. I’d gone deaf.

In silence, I watched a guard sneak up on Arivor and smack him in the head. In silence, I watched my best friend crumple, which dissipated his summoned darkness. In silence, I watched Lirilith stumble away, soon slipping over the terrace’s edge. In silence, I watched as order was restored on the terrace.

Healers rolled Arivor onto a stretcher so they could take him away, and Reive strode to a stop in front of me. He examined me while the sound all around returned to normal: a dying fire’s crackle, excited conversations, a host of footsteps.

When I focused on Reive, he nodded before glancing to the side.

“Take him to the dungeons,” he said.

Had he waited here just so I’d hear him say that?

It didn’t matter. Any reaction that Reive had meant to goad from me didn’t happen because as the guards led me away, I was numb.