By the time I turned onto my home’s street, I hadn’t seen any humans for a while, and because of this, I let hope niggle into my heart. It was a mistake, I was sure, but I couldn’t help it. After every awful thing that had happened today, something good had to come out of it.

I barged into the house with the door banging behind me, noting its darkened state with dread and relief. It could mean that my girls were still hiding.

It could also mean other things.

“Lirilith! Sepi!” I called. “Where are you? We need to go!”

I made my way through the common room and the kitchen, grabbing things that might be useful for our escape, before stopping short.

The back door was cracked open.

I was outside before I’d registered moving. Beyond the door, the garden—Lirilith’s refuge from the world—was wrecked. A stack of pots had been knocked over with their broken bits scattered across the ground, and clumps of grass had been torn from the earth, all evidence of a concluded fight. I didn’t see my girls, which…

Stars, what was this pressure, squeezing my lungs flat?

Slowly, I made my way to the shed in the corner, scanning my surroundings as I went.

“Sepi?” I called. “If you’re here, it’s ok, honey. I’m here-”

A pained grunt cut me off, and for the briefest of moments, I squeezed my eyes shut, ignoring what I’d heard.

“Eri…”

Her voice tore me out of my body. From far away, I watched myself trudge toward a tree, watched myself stop beneath its canopy, watched myself examining her injuries like the healer I was.

And I knew that I could do nothing for the love of my life. Not conventionally.

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I crashed into my body at the rate of my fall to the ground, and once I was on my knees, I reached for Lirilith’s cheeks, the only untouched part of her, while calling on a power I hated.

A voice screamed at the back of my mind, shouting of a worse death to come if I healed her, but I ignored it. Reive wasn’t here. He couldn’t cleanse the world of any ‘abominations’ I might create.

Trembling, Lirilith grabbed my wrist.

“N…no, Eri,” she gasped. “Don’t want…”

Her eyes started glazing over while her hand slipped away from mine, and I had every intention of ignoring her. Lirilith couldn’t stop me from saving her life, not when it was the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

When I touched her, however, she snapped back into place.

“You… can’t take… injuries. They’d slow you…” she fought to say, “and Sep…i needs… you.”

Sepiala? Was she-? Could she be alive? I’d thought…

Usually, the humans treated my people’s children much worse than our women.

“Choose her… over me,” Lirilith gasped.

I didn’t have to choose, though. Couldn’t she see that? I could save them both.

“Taking her… to Arivor,” Lirilith continued.

And I stopped breathing. I… I… I…

Huddling over Lirilith, I rested my forehead on hers.

“I’m so sorry,” I said. “I should have been-”

“Were doing what… needed,” Lirilith mumbled.

My eyes burned as I pressed my lips to hers, tasting her and the metallic tang of her blood. For as long as I could, I let myself stay there, breathing her in while tears drizzled over my face. As I pulled away, I started shaking, running my fingers through her hair.

“I love you,” I said. “I have always loved you, from the moment you first stepped into my shop.”

Lirilith’s grin looked wrong with how much red was staining it.

“I know,” she said. “Why do you think… invited you to dinner?”

A broken laugh filled the space between us, and as it faded, I reached for a knife. I wouldn’t leave her to suffer. When I brought it into view, however, Lirilith weakly shook her head.

“My choice,” she gasped. “Give.”

Her fingers twitched on the ground, and at her insistence, I couldn’t help the relief that swirled in me. It almost choked out my shame or the wrench of my heart as I pressed the blade into her hand.

With her smile twisting, Lirilith said, “Now… go.”

My body had become a wooden doll, and as I got to my feet, fuzz had cloaked the world. Once on them, I couldn’t move, swaying in place as I looked down at her. How had this happened?

Then, I turned away, hurrying to the door, and Lirilith called after me.

“I love you… too, my Eri.”

Slapping a hand to my mouth, I pushed against it—maybe if I pressed hard enough, I could swallow the sobs bursting free of me—and stumbled into a home that was no longer mine.