Ok. I have to get this off my chest. So please, forgive me for a moment.

Kinlith. Is such. An ass.

I mean… I know I’m growing up, getting into those ‘troublesome years’ that people always talk about. I get it.

But I swear. If that stuffy tutor gets on my case one more time about ‘proper decorum’ and ‘lines of succession’, I will fucking punch him in the face.

All right. I think I got it out. Maybe I should explain now.

I know it’s been a while since I last wrote in here. I forgot I had a diary for two solid years, and when I remembered that it existed, I may have been a little too busy with… stuff to do any journaling. Stuff involving girls. Also swords and learning to fight and shit like that.

Prince stuff. I promise it wasn’t all fun and games.

Anyway. Now, I’m back because…

Well. Because there are things happening that I don’t know how to explain to other people. And I’m not sure who I can talk to about it.

Which leaves me here.

I think something might be going on with my brother. Last time I wrote in this journal, I may have mentioned how much I love Nebailie? Yeah, that’s still true. My little brother is probably my favorite person in the world, and he’s just… not happy.

Help support creative writers by finding and reading their stories on the original site.

Not that I can blame him. People in the castle are the worst around him. They act polite and nice to his face, but behind his back, it’s all gossip and deriding comments, and I swear to Alouin, I’m going to get the next person who makes fun of him banished from the capital.

Sorry. Apparently, I still have some anger to work out.

But getting to the point.

Today, ‘bailie and I were in our usual lesson with Kinlith, learning about… something.

I’ll be honest. I wasn’t paying that much attention.

My brother was. He’s always been the better of us with studying, almost like he’s trying to prove his worth through our lessons. Which… it makes me furious that he has to do that, but whatever.

Kinlith asked us some questions about our neighboring kingdom, Lyzencroft, and I didn’t know the answer. I mean… I know that at some point, their crown princess and I will be getting married. Don’t know how I’m already engaged.

But beyond that, I don’t know much about Auden’s neighbor.

Nebailie was happy to jump on the question. He had the correct answer and everything, and fucking Kinlith just had to be snarky about that. I don’t know why a tutor would make fun of his student’s smarts, all while making the insult sound like a compliment, but that asshole did it.

I was about to get in his face, but ‘bailie grabbed my arm before I could shoot out of my seat. He smiled and said ‘thank you’, like he hadn’t heard the disdain behind Kinlith’s words, and the lesson moved on.

How can he put up with that? If someone treated me so horribly, I don’t think I could be as calm about it as my brother was.

But he deals with things like that all the time, much as I hate it. Much as I still don’t know why it happens.

Alouin, I wish someone would explain it to me. I wish the subject of my brother didn’t keep getting brushed aside in polite conversation. I wish I could understand so I can help him.

I don’t like living in a lie, like there’s some obvious truth that no one’s telling me.

And I don’t like that he’s having to live like that too.