Chapter Forty-One

Raimie

With a start, I woke to the forest’s quiet. Sitting up, I gradually recalled where I was and what had happened last night. In a bit, I should find Rhylix and Ren, but for now, I wanted to sit and enjoy this sense of peace, one that was complemented by my surroundings.

How could a forest be this still? Back home, even when Nylion and I had gone exploring, birdsong and leaves had stirred in the fitful breeze, breaking the quiet. This place had none of that, just an unnatural stillness that was unnerving and beautiful in its own way.

Leaning back on my hands, I heaved a sigh before freezing solid. Had I-?

Holy shit. I had! Fighting a closing throat, I circled burgeoning knowledge until I was close enough to touch it.

And for the first time in nine years, I remembered who I was.

One of two, a half of a whole, Nylion and I were the same person but different in personality. I was… well, me, and Nylion was our quiet protector, contentedly waiting behind our eyes to save us.

While this epiphany was as much of a relief here as it had been in my nightmare realm, now that I was awake, I also found it disconcerting. On the one hand, I’d lived alone in my head for nine years, and in that time, I’d learned to appreciate the solitude of a seemingly natural state.

On the other hand, remembering Nylion was like coming home to warm companionship after a long winter in the cold.

I chose to focus on that while reaching deep inside of myself.

Are you there? I asked.

And from within, wellbeing and joy flowed forth to fill every part of me. Shuddering, I turned boneless, thumping into the fallen leaves. I slapped my hands over my mouth, covering my ragged gasps as tears streamed from my eyes.

Nyl… this isn’t quite perfect, I know. I don’t remember what it was like before, but even still, I said. I- no. WE can communicate here now. That’s something.

Fuck, if abandoning the singular, if only for a moment, hadn’t felt amazing. I’d never noticed how much ‘I’ and ‘me’ had bothered me until I’d learned that I didn’t have to use them.

As amusement echoed from Nylion, I wiped my face clean, sitting up. Much as fully reuniting with my other half was life-altering, blissful, the end of the conflict that had eaten away at everything for the last nine years, I could only sit here, reveling in it, for so long. As in all things, life moved on, and because of that, I should go looking for the similarly reunited siblings.

Huh. Interesting that both such circumstances had happened within the same day.

When I made my way to their encampment, however, neither of them was there. Frowning, I crouched, hovering my hands over an extinguished fire. A scuffle had recently taken place here.

As I followed a set of tracks away from it, I called, “Rhy? Ren?”

No one responded, not that I’d expected them to. I wasn’t sure what had happened, but it didn’t worry me. From what I knew of him, Rhylix had probably survived this attack.

Unless his injury, the one I was suspicious as hell of, had caused a problem.

“Anyone?” I called again.

I was about to ask for Dim, hoping they’d help me scout, when Ren appeared from nowhere, plastering her hands over my mouth.

“Why are you announcing our presence to the entire Cerrin Forest?” she hissed.

At her touch, something reached into my core, paralyzing me, and I could do nothing more than stare while she cocked her head as if listening. After a moment, she nodded, pulling her hands off of me, and I suppressed the trembling that had taken hold of my extremities.

“Well?” Ren snapped.

“I’m sorry. I saw there was a fight,” I said. “Why didn’t either of you wake me up for it?”

“We shouldn’t have had to,” Ren said. “Taking the watch includes a promise that you’ll stay awake long enough to keep it.”

Sneering, she shoved something into my chest before stalking off. I barely maintained my hold on this, keeping it off of the forest floor, and when I could examine what it was, I blanched. Hurrying after Ren, I extended Silverblade’s scabbard toward her.

“Why do you have this?” I asked. “Where’s Rhylix?”

“Gone,” Ren snapped. “Off gathering intel for your war effort.”

That sounded like Rhylix. Of course he’d run off for something like that. Could he have also been running away from me, avoiding the explanation he’d promised me?

Making a face, I shook my head. Months ago, I’d decided that I’d trust my friend. Why would I suspect anything malicious from him?

As Ren gathered things from the encampment, I asked, “So, what happened last night? I see evidence of a struggle but…”

“Four Kiraak attacked us,” Ren said. “Rhy and I took care of it.”

I glanced over the campsite, crossing my arms.

“Then, where are the bodies?” I asked. “Unless… are Kiraak incorporeal?”

It seemed like a legitimate question, considering I knew nothing about these mysterious enemies, but from Ren’s derisive snort, I gathered that it might have been more foolish than I’d thought.

“Incorporeal,” she said, shaking her head. “No. I moved the bodies. Wasn’t sure how you’d handle them.”

With an eye twitching, I said, Well. That was mildly insulting.

Something that might have been laughter burbled inside of me, which was enough to soothe my hurt feelings, but then, Ren turned on me.

“Rhy claimed you’re not from Auden,” she said. “Is that true?”

He’d told her that?

Of course he had. She was his sister. That didn’t mean, however, that I was ready to share my secrets.

Gods, I wished I could call on Dim right now. Their ability to detect ill will in others had been of enormous help recently, but if I asked for them now, Ren would see them, which she wouldn’t take well. I’d have to rely on my own judgment.

“That’s right. I’m from Ada’ir,” I said. “Why?”

“Just trying to decide which direction to head in,” Ren said, unsheathing a knife. “If you’re from across the sea, you and your people came here in boats. There’s only one cove nearby where they could have made landfall, so we’ll go that way.”

Approaching a tree, she scored a mark in it, all while I watched, before striding into the trees. I followed, keeping my mouth shut until she marked another tree. She was leaving signs for her brother.

“So. How long will reaching this cove take?” I asked.

“Several hours,” Ren said. “Will that be a problem?”

Hell, she had such scorn for me.

“No, of course not,” I said. “I just wanted to know.”

“And I want to travel in silence,” Ren said, pointing her knife at me.

Gulping, I lifted my hands. I’d faced down a queen who’d thought I was a rebel and a monster with battle magic, but something about this woman intimidated me, even as it stirred my curiosity. She was confident and poised, spurning masks, but at the same time, she’d shown competency with violence, which made me certain I didn’t want her as an enemy.

What do you think of her, Nyl? I asked.

Cautious intrigue welled up in me, nearly matching my assessment, and I smiled at the proof that our opinions still aligned.

As I followed Ren through the forest, I found that Rhylix’s claim from yesterday was true. In the light of day, I did like what I saw of Auden, even if it was a sample of a forest on the kingdom’s shore. It was much too tropical to be my forest, but even still, it was nice. Having leaves overhead was comforting, something I’d missed over the months since leaving home.

When I paid attention, even the stillness that I’d found so unnerving was broken by the occasional noise. A rare breeze rustled the leaves, coming less often than I was used to. So far as I could tell, no birds had made this place their home, but if I listened hard enough, I could hear the buzz of insect wings.

Ren set a backbreaking pace through the woods, seemingly surprised when I kept up without a problem. She had no way to know this, but I’d grown up walking through terrain like this. Picking my way over roots was second nature to me, especially when compared to dragging my legs through the tall grass of the plains or pulling my feet free of a marsh’s mud.

From what surfaced from Nylion, I gathered that my other half didn’t find it nearly as natural as I did, although I wasn’t sure why. As kids, we’d spent so much time exploring the forest. Why would this one make him uneasy?

When Ren called for a halt, I wasn’t sure who she was doing it for. I was slightly out of breath while she didn’t look the least bit tired, but when she handed me a strip of dried meat, I understood. It was time for the midday meal.

Once we’d settled on the forest floor, I cleared my throat.

“Don’t suppose you have any water to go with this, do you?” I asked.

Rolling her eyes, Ren retrieved a waterskin from her belt, and after I was finished guzzling from it, we started on our meal.

Ren finished first, and after some fidgeting, she started pacing. Good gods, she was impatient to get rid of me. In a fit of spite, I savored each bite of my flavorless meat, taking my time with it.

My willingness to hurry wasn’t helped by the pleasing picture in front of me. Wearing a loose tunic, ankle boots, and leggings, Ren walked the line between concealing her body and revealing it, which was fascinating for me.

Fortunately, that sensation was negated by the weapons on her. A bow and its quiver hung from her shoulders while various knives were strapped to her arms, and a sword and dagger, as well as two strange weapons, sat at her waist. In the light of day, I could see these odd weapons more fully, and looking at them, I wondered why someone had modified iron knuckles so that a blade had replaced what covered the wielder’s fingers.

And that face! Gods, she couldn’t hide a thought to save her life, but in a way, I found that… cute, something Nylion agreed with. That was directly contrasted by the unease I felt with every disgruntled look she sent my way, of course. She’d pulled her hair out of her face, binding it into a ponytail, and that black mane bounced with every step she took.

All in all? A nice distraction

Wait. Only black in her hair.

“Forgive me for presuming, but you are Eselan, yes? You have to be if you’re Rhy’s sister,” I said. “I shouldn’t ask you that but…”

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

I shrugged as Ren stopped short, turning fiery eyes on me.

“If you must know, I’m a half on both counts,” she said. “Half-Eselan: my father was human and my mother Eselan. Half-sister: I only share a mother with Rhylix. When Mativon fell, Rhylix’s father died. Our mother met my father years later.”

“I see,” I said. “I’m sorry to hear of your troubles.”

Crossing her arms, Ren glanced to the side.

“Then, you shouldn’t have asked such a sensitive question,” she said.

“Perhaps not,” I said.

And perhaps I should feel worse about discomfiting her, but she hadn’t gone out of her way to act kindly toward me. Although…

Now that I looked at it, I typically didn’t antagonize people like this. Why did I have that urge with her?

The rest of the day went by much the same as the first. Blindly following Ren through the forest, I prattled far too much at Nylion, to the point that he might wish I’d stayed ignorant of him. In response to that thought, he sent a swell of biting petulance through me, which only made me smile.

When considering today—how easy had it been, having Nylion in my life once more?—I found myself looking at the last nine years as if through a fog. That person, wandering through his life so utterly broken? That couldn’t be me. Could it? In a way, those years feel like a separate life, even if its events weren’t all sapped of vibrancy.

As the sky turned orange and purple, the trees started thinning, and when we stepped onto a field of grass, sloping down to a mass of tents ahead, I blew out a slow breath. I hadn’t thought Ren would hurt me, but leaving my life in an unknown’s hands hadn’t sat well with me.

“Aaaand I’ve completed the favor for my brother,” Ren said. “Unless you need an escort for the rest of the journey?”

Her mocking tone soured the good mood that I’d gained over the last few hours.

“I’m good,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Wonderful! Good luck with your… whatever this is.”

Throwing a hand toward my people’s camp, Ren stalked toward the forest’s embrace, and watching her go, I found myself opening my mouth.

“Wait!” I called.

…What in the void had that been? I’d almost been done with this frustrating woman.

Stopping, Ren glanced over her shoulder, and I cleared my throat.

“Come into camp with me,” I said. “Let me get you some supplies as way of thanks. You’re running low, aren’t you?”

I wasn’t sure where I was going with this. Had my subconscious recognized an advantage in helping Ren? Had Nylion nudged me into speaking up?

When I checked, though, only bewilderment rose from my other half.

Bewilderment that was matched by Ren.

“All right,” she cautiously said. “I’ll never turn down an offer of free food, not from a non-Kiraak at least.”

And there was another mention of Auden’s mysterious monsters. When would someone explain what they were to me?

“Follow me, then,” I said.

As I hurried down the slope, I mulled over why I’d asked Ren to stay with me, but by the time we’d passed into camp, I had yet to decipher an explanation for it.

Things were chaotic here. Around us, soldiers were scurrying from place to place, although a few had huddled around campfires. With pots strung over the flame, they picked at their food, occasionally chatting.

I knew none of them. Besides a brief morning outside of Sev, I’d only interacted with the people stationed on the same boat as me over the last few weeks, and that group had only been a fraction of the army.

Even still, some among them knew me. Pressing their fists to their chests, they bowed, and noting this, my cheeks burned. What must Ren be thinking after observing this?

Wait. Did she know who I was? Would that be a problem here? After all, the Audish people had been living in the nightmare of Doldimar’s reign while my family had sat in comparative luxury across the sea.

At the same time, I was supposed to herald their oppressor’s end. How would they receive me?

However that turned out, I was grateful that most of the soldiers ignored me or outright stared as we passed. I understood why they did that. Ren made an impressive picture, and I was…

Hmm. What words best described me? Maybe plain?

In any case, I hoped these people’s wariness would offset any shows of respect that Ren might see.

Since I had no idea where to find provisions, I wandered through camp until I spotted a well-known face ahead.

“Give me a minute,” I said in Ren’s direction.

As I approached a familiar head of hair, I stayed behind him, and I must have done it well because no one had noticed me by the time I was in position.

Clearing my throat, I said, “Hey, dad. I’m back.”

My father faced me so quickly that I was afraid he’d fall from dizziness, but before I could steady him, I was engulfed in a hug. As I raised my hands to pat his back, a spike of heated dislike flared from the depths of me before receding.

Nylion? I asked. What was that?

But I didn’t receive an answer from him. To be fair, it was probably too complicated for emotions alone to convey. I couldn’t ponder this for long, though, because my father released me, and as he did, something walloped the back of my head.

Hissing, I rubbed the impact site. Had that been one of my father’s new tics? It didn’t look like it, considering he was glaring at me with his arms crossed. Why-?

“You do not lock me in a room before running into a life-or-death fight alone,” he said. “I am your father. My job is to protect you, and when I can’t do that, I’ll help you through your difficulties. Do. not. ever. think that you should protect me.”

Wow. I’d known he’d be pissed about that, but this was a little extreme. I thought. Was it?

“Now, who’s the girl?” my father said, jerking his chin over my shoulder.

He wasn’t giving me a chance to apologize? Fine by me.

Stepping to the side, I threw a hand toward the newest person in my life.

“This is Ren,” I said. “Ren, this is my father.”

Pursing her lips, Ren looked my father over before dismissing him.

Turning to me, she said, “You said we were getting provisions, not introducing me to your family.”

“We will. I just had to…” I started before clicking my tongue. “You can’t give me a moment to handle a personal matter?”

“I did, and now, it’s over,” Ren said, crossing her arms. “Get me what you promised, or I’m leaving. Now.”

Oh, my gods. She was fucking impossible. Once again. Why the hell had I brought her with me?

“May I ask why my son has promised you anything?” my father asked.

When Ren stared at him instead of replying, I stepped in.

“She got me safely through the forest,” I said, jerking my thumb toward distant foliage.

“So, she is Audish?” my father asked, lifting an eyebrow.

“And Rhy’s sister.”

My father’s eyes popped as he shifted them to Ren, who was drumming her fingernails on a weapon’s hilts.

“Ah. I see. That’s unexpected. I thought…” he said before shaking his head. “Where is Rhylix anyway?”

“Off scouting,” I said. “He should be back soon.”

“Maybe even before you get me my food,” Ren said under her breath.

Huffing, I turned to escort her along when a familiar voice rose above the surrounding conversations.

“Your… Ma… jes…ty!”

Great… Well, if Ren hadn’t known who I was before, that was about to change.

Stumbling to a stop, Oswin leaned on his knees, panting so hard that his hair bounced on his head. After a pause, he gulped before straightening.

“Forgive me… sir,” he gasped, “but we’ve been… looking for you. Someone… came to tell us… that you’d arrived and…”

He shrugged, and when I glanced at my father for clarification, he followed the captain’s example.

“Who’s ‘we’?” I asked.

“Oh!”

Grimacing, Oswin fanned his face, which seemed warranted given the sweat dripping from his temples.

“That would be myself, the commander, and a few others, sir,” he said. “He wants to speak with you. The commander, that is. I gather it’ll be quick.”

…Shit. Marcuset. I’d forgotten about our last conversation. Given that, I badly needed to oblige the man but…

I glanced at Ren, who looked ready to explode. Why did I still feel the need to keep her close by?

“Oswin, can I ask a favor from you?” I said.

Crinkling his brow, Oswin said, “Technically, sir, if you need me to do something, you can order me to do it, but sure. I’ll do you a favor.”

When I rested a hand on Ren’s shoulder, she bristled, but I ignored that.

“This lovely woman helped me find my way here,” I said. “Can you make sure she’s properly rewarded for that?”

Stiffening, Oswin saluted.

“Certainly, sir,” he said. “What about the commander?”

“I’ll speak with him. Don’t you worry,” I said with a chuckle. “Where is he?”

“Um.”

Glancing about, Oswin pointed, and when I caught sight of Marcuset, much closer than I’d expected, I nodded.

“Thank you.”

I didn’t wait for a reply, taking off through the soldiers around me, but I needed that speed. Not only would my father, who must remain ignorant of my primeancy, be right behind me, but I didn’t know how long it would take Oswin to get Ren her ‘reward’. Before she left, she and I should speak once more. Best to end things on a good note between us.

As I stormed toward Marcuset, something shifted on his face, but I didn’t stop to read it, assaulting him with words instead.

“About what happened on the boat-” I started.

Lifting a hand, Marcuset shook his head.

“I don’t care,” he said. “Whatever special abilities you may have don’t matter to me, and I will never speak of them unless you allow it first.”

I slowed down with him having stolen my thunder. He was just ok with the fact that I was one of the reviled primeancers?

“Oh. Ok, then,” I said. “If I may, how long have you known?”

With an enigmatic smile, Marcuset said, “Long enough.”

“And you’ve said nothing for that entire time,” I said, frowning. “Why?”

Picking up on my skepticism, Marcuset rested his hands on his hips while staring at the ground.

“For many reasons,” he said before glancing up at me, “but the biggest of those is that I truly don’t care what you are. Not three hundred years ago, primeancers were revered, the only humans who could use magic. Given that, why wouldn’t people somewhere in our wide world be indifferent to them?”

…Should I believe him? His claim sounded reasonable, and considering I hadn’t been murdered when I’d stepped into camp, Marcuset might actually keep his mouth shut about this.

But now, he knew a secret that could see me dead, if he leaked it, and my subject or not, I hardly knew this man. Could I trust him?

What do you think, Nyl? I said.

I never caught his response as my father soon ambled to a stop beside me.

“That Ren girl is a piece of work, Raimie,” he said. “How did you come across her? And why bring her here when she clearly wants to be gone?”

Ah… the question I’d struggled to answer since leaving the forest. I opened my mouth, meaning to say that I had no clue what I’d been thinking, but different words spilled from me instead.

“I mean to accompany her home. Unless she’s living alone, I’ll find other Audish citizens there, people who could be our allies,” I said.

Of course, that was why I’d kept Ren with me! It was so logical, unlike some of the other, completely ridiculous reasons I could think of.

“We should learn if we have common ground. Plus, I’d like to know what they need from us, although our ability to help strangers would depend on our stores. A lot of our supplies must have gone down with the flagship. Do we have anything left?”

Humming to himself, Marcuset said, “For now, we have enough to share, depending on these allies’ needs. After Teron’s magic dissipated, the Zrelnach quickly came to our aid. We transferred most of the ship’s cargo before it sank.”

“That was good of them,” I said.

Maybe it would bridge the gap between the Zrelnach and the soldiers from Ada’ir. Alouin knew we couldn’t afford any division in the ranks right now. In fact…

“Commander, would your people let the Zrelnach train them?” I said. “They are the best warriors from back home, and we’ll need every advantage that we can get.”

With a smile, Marcuset said, “That’s a wonderful idea, Your Majesty. Now that we’re on solid ground, I meant to start the process, but if my orders had your weight behind them, the soldiers would more easily accept them.”

“Then, do that,” I said. “Anything to get us prepared for what’s coming.”

“Wait. Can we go back a few steps?” my father said. “You’ve just returned to us, and you’re already planning on leaving again? You haven’t even shared what happened with you and Teron!”

“He’s still alive,” I said, “but that’s all I’ll say on the matter.”

Hell if I was telling my father that I’d died this morning.

“I only lured Ren into camp so I could keep an eye on her while looking for you or Eledis,” I continued. “I figured you’d want to know I was ok.”

While Marcuset had turned contemplative, my father had started sputtering.

“Of course we wanted to know you were ok!” he managed.

Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes.

“Raimie. You need to stay. You can’t go gallivanting off on an adventure when there’s so much for you to do. We have to get settled, take stock of our surroundings, send out scouts-”

“All of which we can do without him,” Marcuset said, inclining his head to me. “We’ll need allies, Aramar, and there’s no better person to make contact with them than their rightful king.”

At that, I fought to keep my face blank. Even weeks after accepting what others expected of me, I hadn’t made a decision about the whole ‘king’ business, but other things, like getting established in enemy territory, had always seemed more important.

Groaning, my father passed a hand over his face.

“Fine,” he said, “but someone should go with him so they can watch his back.”

He gave Marcuset a significant look.

“Are you sure now’s the best time?” the commander asked.

When my father nodded, Marcuset set his jaw before facing me.

“You know Oswin, yes?” he said.

Raising an eyebrow, I said, “You just sent him searching for me.”

Where was this going?

“He wasn’t the captain of your ship by chance,” Marcuset said. “I placed him there to keep an eye on you… after he requested it.”

And I was lost. Why would Oswin have done that? Before the night we’d fled from Daira, he and I hadn’t known each other, and besides that, he didn’t seem important enough to request a position from the commander of Ada’ir’s armed forces.

Huffing, my father rolled his eyes.

“He was—big emphasis on the past tense—the Middle of Queen Kaedesa’s Hand,” he said. “He’s a spy, Raimie.”

For a split second, I forgot how to breathe.

But then, I was shouting, “What?!”

Queen Kaedesa’s Hand. The top five spies in Ada’ir, a kingdom renowned for its intelligence network. Other nations, namely the principalities of the Southern Kingdoms, had Hands, but none of them compared to what was found in Ada’ir. Having one of them defect to us was quite the acquisition.

Still.

“I can’t believe it,” I said.

“Which is the point,” my father said. “You want to run into the unknown? Bring him with you. It’s the only way you’re leaving this camp without a fight.”

Still reeling, I lifted my hands.

“Sure. No need to get hostile,” I said. “Bringing someone with me seems reasonable.”

“All right, then,” my father stiffly said. “Let me know when you get back.”

And he walked away. Had I upset him somehow?

“Nicely done, convincing him,” Marcuset said. “Now, you’ll have to do the same with her.”

When he nodded behind me, I glanced over my shoulder and winced.

Ren looked pissed. Oswin... the godsdamned spy—how had I not noticed it?—was chattering at her, skipping backward as he led her along, and at the sight of this, a confusing mix of nostalgia and irritation rushed from Nylion.

“Good luck, Your Majesty,” Marcuset said.

I whipped my head toward him in time to catch him merging with the soldiers around us.

Helpful. So helpful.

Making a face, I rushed after Oswin and Ren, and when I caught up, she watched me catch my breath.

“Did you get what you needed?” I asked.

“Yes. Your… friend—”

Hell, that had been disdainful.

“—was helpful in that regard,” Ren said. “I’m going home now. Over the next few days, I’ll check whether Rhy’s made it back, but when I do, I doubt we’ll see one another. This is goodbye.”

As she turned away, I said, “Actually, I was wondering if we might join you.”

Still facing away from me, Ren said, “We?”

“Sure. Me and Oswin,” I said. “I’d like to meet your people. See if I can help them.”

Ren held still as she considered this, and watching her, I ignored Oswin’s intensely pointed gaze, resting on me.

“Fine,” Ren eventually said, “but don’t expect me to slow down for you.”

She hurried in the direction of the forest, leaving me shaking my head. This would be such a pain in my ass, wouldn’t it?

“Sir…” Oswin said beside me.

Did he know that I’d learned what he was? If he somehow did, it wouldn’t surprise me, but right now, I didn’t have time to learn one way or the other.

“Later, Oswin,” I said.

And I took off, chasing after a woman I’d rather never see again.