Chapter Forty-Five
Raimie
I didn’t head toward Oswin after trudging free of the sand. Instead, I retrieved my things, donning my armor while waiting for him to approach, and once he had, I turned my most mischievous smirk on him, one that wavered when I saw how tight his face was.
“What is it?” I asked.
“You should come with me,” he said. “Something requires your special brand of crazy to fix it.”
At that, my eyebrows shot for the sky. It had been significantly less formal than he typically was with me, almost sounding like something a friend would say.
“What exactly is this ‘something’?” I asked.
Shaking his head, Oswin said, “Not here. Please. Just trust me.”
As I chewed my lip, I glanced over the spy, but a question of trust wasn’t what prompted this. Surprisingly, I had no question when it came to that. I was more concerned with whether I could handle something that had rattled a former spy of a Hand.
“All right,” I said. “Lead on.”
With a sharp nod, Oswin started running, moving so fast that I had trouble keeping up. At least while maintaining this pace, I only caught brief glances of people when they bowed to me. At some point, I should address their deference, let it be known that I wouldn’t take the throne if we overthrew Doldimar, but that was a problem for later.
When people started diminishing in number, Oswin slowed down, which let me rattle off a question.
“Will you tell me where we’re headed?”
“Where you’ll be sleeping while here. Some of the soldiers took it upon themselves to prepare a place for you.”
When I clicked my tongue, Oswin smiled, a small one that seemed mostly directed at himself.
“Don’t worry. It isn’t fancy. After the journey here, everyone knows you don’t like preferential treatment,” he said. “When we went our separate ways, I headed there, meaning to check it before writing my report, but something happened while I was doing that. I had a different surprise in mind for you today, but this problem needs you to diffuse it.”
Hell, I had so many questions. What surprise had Oswin had in mind? Why had he felt the need to check my sleeping place for safety?
Those weren’t important right now, though.
“You won’t share what I’m about to walk into, will you?” I sourly said.
Oswin glanced my way before fixing his eyes in front of him.
“It’ll be better if you see it for yourself,” he said.
Well, that was just great.
Ahead of us, the line of tents on either side bent until our passageway curved out of view, and in front of this turn, a red-haired woman and a very small man… or maybe teenager were playing keep-away, dissuading soldiers from advancing past the point they were guarding. Conversely, neither of them looked at me or Oswin when we strode past them. Obviously, they knew the spy, but before I could ask him about it, we turned the corner, and with my heart leaping in my chest, I faltered in my step, forcing him to steady me.
We’d stopped in a cleared space, one formed by a circle of tents. The campsite wasn’t finished. Its fire pit was still in the midst of construction, and several weapons had been left lying in the grass, but even still, I loved it. It felt homier than the rigid discipline found elsewhere.
One problem with it, though.
Misty, white light was billowing over the ground, partially concealing the grass. Rising to mid-shin, it roiled like angry thunderclouds, and tendrils of it quested through openings in the circle, seeking escape.
In the middle of this, Bright was pacing back and forth with their hands in their hair and a chant on their lips.
“WhatamIWhatamIWhatamI?”
Oh, my heart hurt to see this. They were in such distress, and no matter how exuberant I was to see them—I’d been starting to doubt their earlier appearance—I had to fix them.
Forget Oswin, watching me with his arms crossed, and what him bringing me here must mean. Forget what might soon happen if he hadn’t secured this scene quickly enough.
A being I cared for was in pain. Until I did what I could for them, everything else could go straight to the void.
Taking a step into the mist, I said, Dim, I know you’re avoiding me, and yes, they’re your enemy, but…
“I’m already here, ya idiot.”
So, they were. I didn’t know when they’d appeared at my side, but they were tracking Bright with singular fascination, even if their nose was also wrinkled.
“How is Order…?” they said. “How?”
I don’t know, but if you have any suggestions for how to proceed, I’ll take them now, I said.
“Suggestions? Really?” Dim said. “Raimie, Bright shouldn’t exist. I’ve never seen one of us come back after one of those swords has destroyed us, and I’ve been around for-fucking-ever.”
Greeeeeaaaaat…
When I reached Bright, they didn’t acknowledge me, just continued to pace. Unlike with me, their passage through the mist sent it flurrying behind them, and if that hadn’t been enough, every time they tugged on their hair, more white light spurted from them.
Hell… my poor heart…
How in the void did I fix this? I didn’t fully understand my splinters in the first place, and now, I had to tackle something about them that had never happened before. It was overwhelming, and I was halfway tempted to abandon this endeavor but Bright…
Fuck it. I had to start somewhere.
Bright, I said, can you hear me, buddy?
For a breath, the Ele splinter faltered before picking up their pace and volume.
“WhatamIWhatamIWhatamI?”
“You think talking to them will change something?” Dim asked, warily eyeing me.
Shooting a glare at them, I said, “How about this? Any better?”
Mid-step, Bright stopped before shooting toward me. They seized my arms, a hold I could actually feel, and I’d have marveled more at this if the fight against madness in their eyes hadn’t stolen my breath.
“I need you to tell me what I am!” they shrieked.
Shit. Shit, shit, shit.
No! I couldn’t indulge in panic or fear, even if that was what Nylion was shouting at me right now. It wasn’t what Bright needed.
Hovering my hand over their shoulder, I said, “You’re Bright, a splinter of Ele, although you’d probably snap at me for calling you that. You give me access to your whole, and on more than one occasion, you’ve saved my life. You’re a regular pain in the ass sometimes, but I need that. We need that.”
With their brow furrowing, Bright mouthed the word ‘we’, and I motioned Dim forward.
“This is Dim, a splinter of Daevetch,” I said. “I don’t know why yet, but you two have set aside your differences. Considering how they’ve been acting since you left us, I’d say that you might even be friends now-”
“Yeah… no,” Dim said. “Friends is a strong word for what’s between us…”
They trailed off at the look on my face.
Please, Dim. I know you want them back too, and they’ll need the truth for that.
Slumping, Dim rubbed their eyes.
“By me, I won’t be me by the time this is over,” they said to themselves before pushing me aside.
Not that I minded. While they rested their hands on their hips, meeting Bright’s placid gaze, I rubbed my chest. Not only had the pain in my heart spread, but it had become physical in nature, an ache that my fingers couldn’t relieve.
With an exasperated sigh, Dim threw their head back.
“Our human’s right. I need you back, weakling,” they said. “We had a plan, remember? Something our wholes don’t agree with-”
“Raimie in the balance point,” Bright blurted.
As they started murmuring to themselves again, repeating the conversation from the beginning, Dim shot a sidelong glance at me, but I just stared back, digging into my skin. If I was supposed to catch a hidden meaning from that, it had gotten lost in the vice tightening around my chest.
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“That’s right,” Dim said with a frown forming. “I can’t do this alone. Our human pulled you back from whatever happens to us when we’re destroyed. Don’t ask me how. Over our time together, I’ve stopped trying to figure him out, but you need to take the final step in fixing yourself, and… and you should do it fast.”
Why did they look so concerned?
I quickly gave up on answering that. This pain, threatening to buckle my knees? It was coming from Bright, had to be with how much worse it had gotten while standing in their presence. They were defying nature’s laws, a dissonance marring the world’s music. Something that a simple key change would fix.
With their face scrunched, Bright cocked their head.
“I… am Bright,” they said. “I exist to help Raimie, fixing the imbalance in the Eternal War. I am Bright.”
With a decisive nod, they stepped back, there to wait.
“Now what?” I wheezed.
“Hell if I know,” Dim said, still watching me with concern. “I was taking a wild guess when I told them they should accept their existence. It’s your turn to contribute. Raimie, are you…?”
Holding up a finger, I scanned my surroundings. Besides Bright, the only thing out of place here was the white light—so like Ele—all around us. Visible to even a norm like Oswin, that primal energy must have penetrated the barrier between it and the physical plane.
Maybe that could explain why Bright was looking at me so expectantly.
Closing one eye, I reached for my Ele source, half-expecting that it wouldn’t exist, and instead, I found it all around me, not in Bright. No wonder my heart was hurting so badly. My access to Ele’s well, what I’d come to associate with wellbeing, had shattered into pieces around the campsite.
“I don’t know how this is possible since it’s supposed to be them,” I said, pointing at Bright, “but my Ele source is broken.”
With their eyes popping, Dim recoiled.
“Into pieces? I wonder how that happened,” they said before glancing around. “Has it moved?”
Oo… this might end poorly.
“Um… no,” I said. “You’re standing in it, actually.”
Sucking in a gasp, Dim became a statue before zipping out of the mist. They fell to their hands and knees with wretched coughs filling the air, and with each heave of their stomach, their form shivered, letting slivers of black peek through it.
Yup. Bad. I’d have more sympathy for Dim if I hadn’t felt like I was dying myself.
Fortunately, the splinter quickly got to their feet, wiping their mouth.
“Can you put them back together?” they said.
Doubtful. I was having a hard enough time with simply thinking right now but even still…
“I’ll try,” I said.
Reaching for the shards around me, I drew them close, releasing a relieved wheeze when the touch of them eased the pressure on my chest, and once I held a few, I embedded them into position within Bright.
For close to an hour, this continued. I cobbled the pieces together as best I could, but some refused to fit. These, I had to mold into shape, which wasn’t pleasant to do.
Eventually, though, the last of the shards passed through my hands, returning the campsite to a scene of normalcy, and I stumbled. Nothing was crushing my chest anymore, but I was exhausted, trembling at the effort to stay on my feet.
Meeting Dim’s eyes, I took a deep breath, reaching for my newly reconstructed source. Would it work? Considering it was of human make, I was half-convinced it would shatter when I pulled Ele to me, but the energy came as called, and nothing in my source so much as shifted.
Biting my lip, I fought to keep from crying as I released the Ele coating my hands.
Had that-? Was Bright-?
Gods, please say they were ok.
“What… happened? Where-?”
With a cough, Bright started violently shivering, hugging themselves. Meanwhile, Dim edged toward them.
“Raimie resonated with the wholes, which was unexpected. So few humans can do that,” the Ele splinter said to themselves. “I was distracted. Teron got behind me. Lighteater…”
Moaning, they clenched their eyes for a breath before opening them again, searching for something. Skipping over me, Bright focused on Dim, and I was worried that in their disorientation, they might start a fight, but stumbling forward, they fell into the enemy splinter, taking fistfuls of their clothes.
“Chaos! Oh, my old foe,” they gasped into Dim’s chest. “I don’t know what to- fuck! It was awful…”
They lifted their head with tears in their eyes.
“You have to help me!”
I’d never seen a person so clenched tight before. Dim found me over Bright’s head with such panic written on them, and I crossed my arms.
Help them, I said. Unless you want them to stay this wrecked, probably for longer than we can afford?
“Damnit,” Dim murmured.
Grimacing, they lifted their arms, wrapping them around Bright with the most potent expression of repulsion on their face.
Patting the Ele splinter’s back, they said, “There, there, you useless brat. Can’t believe you’re making me do this.”
For some reason, this made Bright laugh before they buried their face in Dim’s chest once more.
“Make yourself useful, Raimie,” Dim growled. “You can’t have missed that several norms are staring at you. After we went to all this trouble, I’d prefer it if you didn’t get strung up today. I know you’re ecstatic to have the milksop back, but…”
They had no idea. I hadn’t felt this light in ages. Bright would need time to recover, but they were ok.
I’d done it! I’d dragged someone precious to me back from the brink.
Somehow. At some point, I’d have to ponder how I’d managed the impossible, but for now, I let myself watch my reunited splinters for a breath before spinning toward the norms at my back.
Because Dim had been right. These people must know I was a primeancer by now, and I was afraid that I’d have to soon run into the dangerous unknowns of Auden.
When he’d retrieved me earlier, Oswin might not have seemed hostile, but with the crisis over, that neutrality might disappear. If that wasn’t enough, several other soldiers had joined the spy while I’d been working.
Two of them, I recognized: the red-head and the small man or teenager from before, but the other two were strangers. One of them was the definition of plain, although he was taller than the others, and the second was more thickset. Despite the glow emanating from Nylion at the sight of him, he was also the one I was most worried about, given how much his throat was working.
“You’re… you’re…” he said.
How should I play this? I couldn’t be too cocky, or it might push them into summoning a mob, but maybe with some projected confidence, I could calm them down, enough so they’d listen to reason.
“I’m what?” I asked. “Average looking? A competent fighter? A fast learner?”
When the stocky man started shaking his head, the tall one rubbed his back, although he quickly removed his touch.
Clearing his throat, Oswin said, “Forgive us, sir. We’ve had our suspicions for quite some time, but seeing them confirmed… it gives us hope.”
Wait, what?
“Hope?” I asked.
That wasn’t usually a word associated with what I was.
Elbowing Oswin, the small man said, “Sure! You’re a primeancer, right? When it comes to the war effort, that’ll be a huge advantage.”
“…War …effort?” I squeaked.
What the hell was happening here?
With a frown, the small man turned to Oswin, who was still rubbing his side.
“Is he ok?” he said. “He sounds like a parrot.”
Rolling his eyes, Oswin said, “Little, that’s no way to talk about your king.”
When the small man huffed, crossing his arms, the red-head smacked him upside the head.
“Listen to him, ya brat,” she said.
Squeezing my eyes closed, I started rubbing my temples.
“Would someone please explain who you are and why you aren’t trying to murder me?” I said.
When someone snorted a laugh, I cracked an eye open to find a range of amused expressions facing me.
“Why would we kill you?” the small man asked. “You’re an… Ele primeancer, right? At least, the stuff you were playing with looked like Ele.”
Oh… this was too much. My poor head… Gods, why couldn’t I just go to sleep like my body was begging me to do?
“I primarily use Ele, yes,” I said, dragging the words out of my mouth, “but at times, Daevetch comes in handy too.”
“Are you kidding me?” the small man said. “You mean these four were telling the truth about-?”
He cut off as Oswin returned his earlier elbow ribbing, but soon enough, he continued.
“That’s impossible, though. Primeancers belong to one side or the other, never both.”
He was right. I’d never considered it more deeply than surface level, but the old primeancer legends had never talked about someone wielding both energies.
With my head cocked, I reached for my sources, pulling Ele to one hand and Daevetch to the other. As always when using both, a miniature war threatened to rip me in half, but I ignored it to stare at what I was holding.
Why could I do this? Was I really so different?
When one of the strangers coughed, I winced, casting both energies aside. That had been stupid… or maybe not. This group did know what I was, at least in part.
I should clear that up.
“So far as I’m aware, I’m the first of my kind,” I said. “A dual primeancer.”
And here was where the lot of them ran, screaming, from me.
Shifting in place, the tall man rasped, “You were right, Middle. Alouin help Doldimar. We have a secret weapon again.”
Again?
“You know how I said I’d never swear vows, spymaster?” the small man said. “Yeah, you can forget that. I’ll swear whatever I must if I get to work for him.”
As the others nodded agreement, I took a step back, fighting to ignore my pounding head.
“Hang on a minute. Why haven’t you ‘ended the threat’?” I said. “Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad you haven’t, but isn’t that what usually happens to primeancers?”
With a grim smile, Oswin said, “Oh, it is.”
“But we don’t care what you are or what power you might have,” the stocky one added. “What matters is who you are.”
“And you seem like a decent enough kid,” the red-head said before smirking. “Definitely not the ‘end the world’ type.”
“And if you do ever trend that way, we’re more than capable of ending the threat you’d become,” the tall man rasped.
With a cheeky grin, the small man said, “I just think primeancers are cool.”
I glanced between these strangers, opening and closing my mouth a few times before I could push free of shock.
“Ok. Who the hell are you people?”
“Who they are doesn’t matter right now. When you’re established in Auden, I’ll introduce them more fully,” Oswin said. “For now, suffice it to say that they’re my subordinates, no matter how much they might like to forget that fact.”
He scowled at the others while details clicked into place.
“So, they’re spies too?” I said, sweeping a finger over the unknowns.
“Ha! You could say that,” the red-head said.
With a pointed glare at her, Oswin said, “As I mentioned, what they are doesn’t matter. What does is that if they do their job, you’ll never see them.”
So… spies. Hmm. Where had Oswin found these people?
“All right. Good to know,” I said. “What now?”
Could I trust these people to keep their mouths shut about my magic? Too many among the soldiers had learned about it. If we weren’t careful, knowledge of it would spread among the rest, and I knew what would happen after that. I wasn’t sure how to date, I’d been so lucky with who’d uncovered my secret, but that good fortune couldn’t last forever.
“Now comes something that should have happened a while ago,” Oswin said.
He drew his sword, getting down on one knee, and I internally groaned while Nylion sent a spike of queasy dislike from the depths.
“I, Oswin, humble spy of the King’s Hand, do swear fealty and unwavering support to Raimie, the rightful claimant of the Audish throne,” he said. “Ever will I be your knife in the dark, ever to safeguard you and keep blood off of your hands. May my heart and mind always belong to you.”
Looking down on this man, I wasn’t sure why I wanted to rage against what he was offering, leaving my fingers twitching, but I did know that I couldn’t accept this gift.
“I don’t want this,” I said. “I’m not a king, Oswin.”
He said nothing, and I knew he wouldn’t move until this exchange was completed. Sighing, I nicked my thumb on his blade instead of drawing my own before pressing it into his forehead.
Struggling to speak each word with gravity instead of rattling them off, I said, “I, Raimie, last in the line of Audish kings, do accept Oswin as my faithful servant. I swear to honor and protect you as best I’m able to. Ever will I work toward your benefit, ever to provide opportunity for you. May I always serve you as a leader should.”
Pausing, I nearly removed my touch, but Nylion—as well as something unknown inside—had me pushing my thumb into Oswin’s skin, hard enough that he had to look up at me.
“I also swear to be your friend, no matter how much of a snarky, stubborn jackass you can be.”
Maybe Oswin gasped. I wouldn’t know, too busy jabbing my finger at the others.
“Don’t. you. even. think. about getting down on one knee right now,” I said. “You want to swear fealty? You can do it after you’ve properly introduced yourselves.”
Grinning, the stocky man said, “You present an interesting pattern, young one. Should be fun to follow.”
He and the other three bowed before scurrying off, all while Oswin got to his feet.
With his hand to his forehead, he mumbled, “My friend?”
I didn’t bother replying, checking on my splinters. They too had vanished, removing the last trace of abnormality from the campsite, but I didn’t try calling them back to the physical plane. I could do that after I got some much-needed rest, time that would let Bright heal too.
“So. Which of these is mine?” I asked.
I’d rather not dwell on what had just happened or the fact that I had another subject. I wanted to collapse onto a bedroll and lose myself to a dream state. Maybe I could talk with Nylion while I was there.
“Forgive me, sir, but your father would probably appreciate an update from you,” Oswin said. “Don’t you agree?”
Or that could wait for another hour or two.
“You’re right. Of course you’re right,” I groaned. “I don’t suppose you know where he is, do you?”
Glancing over my shoulder, I caught Oswin sweeping a hand back the way we’d come before.
“Right this way, sir,” he said.