Chapter Seventeen: What You Are

Rhylix

Every day, its madness overtakes more of my mind.

It took a few hours, but when the sun was halfway to the horizon, we reached Paft. The farming village had seen better days. Half of its fields had been left untended for long enough that weeds had grown almost as tall as the crops, and as we approached the village itself, I winced at how dilapidated most of the buildings were.

A man, Paft’s mayor most likely, was waiting for us on the village’s outskirts, and in his shadow, several people with shoddy weapons looked ready to attack at the slightest provocation. While the Zrelnach arranged themselves in a better defensive position, I pushed through them to the royal family at the group’s head. I arrived in time to see Paft’s leader welcoming Eledis into a squat house, leaving the younger Audish royals outside.

Gistrick, standing at Aramar’s side, nodded when I approached. A few days ago, he and his friends had haltingly apologized for their aggressive behavior near the tear, and we’d spent far too much time working out our differences, or at least, we’d done so enough that we could tolerate each other’s presences again.

In other words, the two of us were back to square one.

Both Gistrick and I deliberately ignored the bow and two arrows that Aramar was loosely holding. We doubly ignored Raimie, who was staring at the door Eledis and Paft’s leader had disappeared behind. With his arms crossed, he was tapping a finger on his elbow.

Hell, if both of those men weren’t of Audish descent, I’d eat my sword.

“Aramar,” I said, stopping beside the human.

“Hullo, Rhylix,” Aramar tiredly replied. “You ready to fix up more people if it comes down to that?”

With my lips thinning, I examined him, noting the tension in his shoulders and how his eyes were skipping over Paft’s people.

“You don’t think we can work out an agreement?” I said. “Allanovian certainly sent enough items from the tear with us, trying to get us out the door more quickly. We’re not without tradable resources.”

“A lack of resources isn’t what I’m worried about,” Aramar said under his breath.

His hand spasmed, almost sending one of his arrows into the dirt, and he winced. With an eye twitching, I laid a finger on the band around his waist.

“Come see me before you go to bed tonight,” I said. “If I must find you instead, I will make your life a living hell until you learn to cooperate with your healer. You’ve seen me working. You know that’s not an idle threat.”

Swallowing hard, Aramar nodded, and I removed my finger from his waist.

“Why only Eledis?”

Blinking, I switched tracks, turning to Raimie. The kid hadn’t moved, only narrowing his eyes a bit.

“That man, their leader. He greeted all of us by name, looking at me like he knew me,” he continued, “but I’ve never been on this side of the Fractured Peaks. Still, he looked at us, knew us, and only invited Eledis into his home. Why? And why didn’t Eledis have us accompany him?”

Interesting questions. Even more interesting: Aramar’s hitched breathing and Gistrick’s uncomfortably shifting feet.

“I don’t like this,” Raimie said, slapping his hands to his thighs. “We should make sure Eledis hasn’t made a mess again.”

He’d taken a step toward the squat house while Aramar had drawn a breath to speak when the door slammed open, letting Paft’s leader limp through it. The poor man looked awful with red splotches covering his exposed skin and his arm held at an unnatural angle. The villagers who’d been guarding the house hurried to him with a cry while Eledis serenely sailed around them.

When the older man joined his family, Raimie hissed, “What did you do?”

While keeping half of my attention on them, I slowly moved in a circle to watch the mass of villagers around us, and seeing the majority of them hefting their pathetic weapons, I rested a hand near where I’d hidden my blades.

“That was me getting what we needed without wasting our limited resources,” Eledis said. “We can’t afford to barter with every town we resupply in, especially one as down and out of luck as this one. We’ll need what we have to buy horses and carts later.”

“So, you played bully and beat up their leader instead,” Raimie said.

A string twanged, making several people flinch, although Raimie just glanced at the arrow jutting from a wall before turning back to Eledis. The projectile was quivering a breath from a man’s face, one who was caught halfway through a step.

“Oops,” Aramar dryly said. “You’ll have to forgive me. I’ve been plagued with spasms in recent days. My finger must have slipped.”

Damn, that man was good with a bow. I hadn’t seen him nock or sight before the arrow had reached its target. The other villagers must have read something similar from the exchange because their hostility receded a fraction.

As if their conversation had never been interrupted, Eledis said, “Sometimes, you have to do things you don’t like in a negotiation. I did what I must so we could get what we need.”

Groaning, Raimie rubbed his face.

“There are other ways to get supplies,” he said with a muffled voice. “You didn’t have to be so brutal.”

With a smirk, Eledis crossed his arms.

“And I suppose you’ll show me these other ways now?” he said.

“Sounds about right,” Raimie said. “Dad. Rhy. Would you join me, please?”

Exchanging a glance, we followed him to Paft’s leader. That man’s guards stepped between us, but while Raimie stopped at their unspoken threat, he also ignored them.

“Hilderel, right?” he asked, addressing Paft’s leader. “I’d like to introduce my friend.”

He clapped a hand on my shoulder.

“This is Rhylix,” he said. “He’s the best healer I’ve ever met, and if you’ll let him, he can take a look at your arm.”

Glancing up, Hilderel sneered at Raimie, but his eyes were also glazed with a faint tremble running through his body.

“Why would I do that?” he growled. “Just… leave town and we’ll send your food along soon. You’ve hurt us enough.”

Raimie’s expression went from concerned to flat, sending a chill down my spine.

“Much as I love him, I am not my grandfather, good sir. If I’d known what he planned to do, I’d have insisted on joining you in your home, no matter how much you didn’t want me there. All I’m doing is cleaning up the wreckage left in Eledis’ wake,” he said. “ So, accept Rhylix’s expertise, if you want it. Let me and my people help Paft, if you like. But if you want us to stand idly by while you gather the supplies you’ve promised, we can do that too. It’s your call, Hilderel.”

The village’s leader would be stubborn. I saw this in the set of his jaw and how he was drawing himself up, and while I was all for people making supremely poor decisions if they wanted to, that didn’t mean I’d let them do it easily.

“I can ease your pain,” I said.

When Hilderel swung his head to me, he loosened his jaw, releasing a breath after a moment.

“All right,” he said. “Tarnavis can direct your people where we most need help, but you’ll have to excuse me if I retire to my home until you’ve gone. I don’t want to see anyone in your family again.”

“Of course,” Raimie said, folding his hands in front of him. “And our supplies?”

Making a face, Hilderel said, “Again, Tarnavis can help you with that. May I go?”

“Please,” Raimie said before bowing. “Many apologies for your suffering.”

Hilderel ground his teeth together, but whatever scathing reply he’d wanted to make, he retained it, shuffling into his home. Without prompting, I went with him, smirking on hearing Aramar murmur.

“Nicely done, son.”

A closing door blocked off any further words.

Before Hilderel could collapse at the cottage’s table, I took his good elbow, guiding him to the bed on the other side of the room, and once I had Hilderel settled, I rummaged through my pockets, perfectly aware of the other man examining me.

“Take this,” I said.

After placing a pill in Hilderel’s palm, I handed the man a water skin, carefully watching him swallow his medicine. I almost never used these ‘painkillers’, certainly not on the Zrelnach and even more certainly not on myself. The small number I had were given only in the worst of cases, like when someone had burns as bad as Raimie’s had been after Fissid. This man, however, had been hurt in a way that might have him blaming the injury on the kid, and I wouldn’t have my ally making an enemy. Not this early.

So, I knelt in front of Hilderel and did what I could to prep while waiting for the pill to take effect. As I spread a salve across the worst of the man’s bruises, he shifted in place, drawing my gaze up, and when our eyes met, the town leader looked away.

“You’re Eselan?” he asked with his voice tight.

Ah. That explained why he looked so uncomfortable.

Lowering my head to my work, I said, “Yes. Do you have a problem with that?”

Hilderel didn’t speak for a long time. Too long.

“No,” he eventually said, “but only because you’re actually being useful, unlike the rest of your race. Also, that family vouches for you.”

I contained my laughter, wondering if this man knew that almost every stranger outside of his door was Eselan. Would the acid in his voice disappear if he understood the disparity in numbers between the humans and my people in this town right now?

“Why would you care what Raimie and his family think?” I asked instead. “One of them just beat the shit out of you.”

“Sure, but in Ada’ir, everyone who’s anyone knows about that family,” Hilderel said. “I may have retired to this back-end-of-nowhere village, but most of my life was spent in the capital. I even considered joining one of the rebellions in my younger years, so I know who those three are, and if someone of their repute says an Eselan deserves to live, it will be so.”

Frowning, I took Hilderel’s broken arm more gently than I wanted to.

“But they’ve been in hiding,” I said. “How are they known in Daira?”

Hilderel burst into laughter, wincing when his arm bounced in my hands. The pill must be working if that was his only reaction to a jostled broken bone.

“Is that what they’re saying?” he gasped. “That’s… Alouin, that’s hilarious but… it would explain why the kid’s acting strangely. He could have lost his cruel edge while ‘hiding’.”

Ok. The pill was definitely working. When I tried to imagine Raimie as cruel, I almost laughed out loud. It was interesting the delusions that this medicine brought out in people, such as believing oneself important enough to have known the Audish royal family.

At least it had kept this man from attacking me. Now, I only needed to avoid doing the same to him, and everything would be fine and dandy.

“Bite this,” I said, handing Hilderel a strip of leather.

The pill might have dulled his pain, but it couldn’t completely cover what happened when a bone was set, as evidenced by Hilderel’s scream a few seconds later. He fainted, leaving me scrambling to catch him and hold the bone in place.

Cursing, I left Hilderel at an awkward angle while placing splints. I considered abandoning him like that, but shaking my head, I shoved him into bed, dragging a blanket out from under him to lay over his sleeping form. Breathing hard, I slammed a jar of salve on the table before storming outside, grumbling under my breath all the while.

With the foul mood that their leader had left me in, my bedside manner took a sharp turn downward while attending to the citizens of Path. A lot of people were sick here, more than there should be, and that, combined with the rundown state of the village, made me wonder how hard of a time Paft had fallen on.

Fortunately, the sun quickly fell below the horizon, and I was released from healing duties. I picked my way through the impromptu celebration that had started in the village square. Someone had pulled an out-of-tune lute and a pair of drums from storage, and this had raucous music filling the air.

Apparently, an afternoon spent laboring together was enough to erase prejudices for a time.

While looking for Raimie, I noted the evidence of why these people were celebrating. Several roofs had had fresh thatch laid on them, and many doors looked repaired, enough so that they wouldn’t fall off of their hinges at least.

Hopefully, these changes would help ward the villagers against winter’s coming freeze. How many people might survive because of the help we’d provided today?

I found Raimie with his father and some Zrelnach friends. Wildly gesturing, the kid was walking around the group’s perimeter, telling a story. Pausing, he whirled in place, painting shock on his face, and his audience laughed, starting a barely audible chant when they could breathe.

Worrying at my lip, I watched this and considered what I meant to tell this kid, my friend. Gods, Raimie looked so happy, and it was perhaps the only time I’d seen him like this.

Maybe I should delay. One more day wouldn’t hurt, would it?

Before I could leave, though, Raimie caught sight of me, gesturing for me to join them, and I sighed. Tonight, it was.

Striding to them, I put on my practiced smile.

“Well, this looks fun,” I said. “Why wasn’t I invited?”

One of the Zrelnach straightened with pursed lips, but her disgust dissolved beneath Raimie’s exuberance. With his face a bright beacon, he stepped between Gistrick and Aramar to clasp my shoulders.

“We couldn’t find you, of course,” he said, “but you’re here now. Will you join us?”

Here was another chance to delay. It would be so simple to acquiesce and sit in the circle but…

“Actually, I was hoping I could borrow you,” I said. “You had questions earlier? I should finish answering them before they get swept aside again.”

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Widening his eyes, Raimie drawled, “Riiiight. I forgot.”

He twisted to the others.

“Does anyone mind if Rhy and I pop off for a bit?” he asked. “I was hoping he’d walk me through a technique he showed me today.”

At the question, so many hooded eyes stared at me, but leaning back on his hands, Aramar looked genuinely pleased with his son’s request.

“Go, go! And have fun,” he said. “Gistrick. Aya. Would you accompany them? Keep your distance, of course, but I’m not sure how safe we are, even after this afternoon.”

“Probably a good idea,” Gistrick said.

Rising, he brushed himself off while Aya stretched, soon to join him. Meanwhile, Raimie rolled his eyes.

“Like I need an escort,” he sighed, “but thanks, dad. I guess.”

“You’re welcome,” Aramar said with a teasing grin. “I love you, son.”

With his mouth dropping open, Raimie turned a brilliant crimson, and even I had to laugh at the sight of it.

Raimie snapped his teeth together.

“I love you too,” he hissed through them before striding into the dark. “Come on, Rhy!”

I hurried after my friend.

When I caught up, neither of us said a word. I didn’t, as a general rule, tease people, but hell, if I wasn’t tempted to do it now. In the end, though, I decided to abstain from that mischief, if only because I knew how much trouble I’d be bringing Raimie tonight.

Together, he and I left the confines of Paft’s buildings, strolling alongside a field. It was empty with its produce picked and stored. Eventually, we reached the plains around the village, but I didn’t wander far into their tall grass before dropping to the ground.

While Raimie sat, I stretched my legs out, leaning back to see the stars. They’d always been so bright once firelight was left behind and the moon…

Closing my eyes, I could almost imagine that its beams were caressing my skin like the sun’s did.

“How angry is Eledis?” I idly said.

Chuckling, Raimie said, “Pretty damn furious. It’s an interesting experience. I’ve never irritated him on purpose before but… he’s not talking to me.”

Something ripped nearby. Probably Raimie tearing grass clumps from the ground.

“Don’t worry. He’ll get over it.”

Lowering my head, I gave my friend a half-smile.

“You’re his grandson, after all.”

Raimie ducked his head, trying to hide his answering grin.

“I suppose that’s true,” he said before peering at me, “but that’s not why we’re out here.”

“No, it’s not.”

Sitting up, I crossed my legs and pressed my palms together.

“Listen. Raimie. This thing we’ll be discussing? It’s dangerous,” I said. “I showed you my splinter. If you took that information to… well, anybody really, it would get me killed.”

It would also see Raimie dead, but telling him that would distract from the point. I needed my friend to understand what he was getting into. I had other reasons for starting our conversation like this, but that was the biggest one.

“I don’t think you’ll do something like that to me. It’s not in your nature,” I continued, “but if you made yourself as vulnerable as I have, it would make me more comfortable. I’d like to see your splinter, Raimie, and if you’re ok with it, I’d like to ask it a few questions as well.”

Having solemnly watched me while I’d spoken, Raimie tilted his head to the side, looking up at the stars as if thinking.

“Ok. That’s reasonable,” he said. “How do I do that, though? Usually, I’m the only one who can see them.”

Oh, gods. How had this wonderfully terrifying kid achieved everything he had and yet not know how to do something so basic?

“Um. It- it’s fairly simple, actually. You tell them that you want me to see them, and they’ll make themselves visible,” I said, “and don’t worry about our watchers by the field. They’ll still be blind to your splinters.”

“Oh! That’s- hmm. How did I not figure that out by myself?” Raimie said before shaking his head. “But my idiocy doesn’t matter right now. Here goes. Bright? Dim? Could you please-?”

Another Raimie, a version of him with light streaming through slits in its face, popped into view beside the original, and after a pause, another one, leaking inky darkness, appeared behind them. With its arms crossed, it snarled at me, hovering somewhere between cowering and wanting to claw my eyes out. Meanwhile, Bright—why had Raimie felt the need to give them nicknames?—rushed forward with its hands outstretched.

“Thank the whole!” it gasped. “Maybe you can tell him what we are.”

Before Bright could collide with me, I rolled to my feet, leaving the splinter teetering.

“What do you mean ‘tell him who you are’?” I asked. “You haven’t done that already?”

Recovering its balance, Bright shook its head.

“We-”

“You understand them?” Raimie said.

Pausing, I narrowed my eyes at the kid.

“You don’t?” I asked.

Raimie rubbed the back of his neck, shrinking on himself with one eye closed.

“Not always?” he said. “When we talk about anything important, all I hear from them is buzzing.”

Turning to Bright, I asked, “Is that why he doesn’t know? I thought it was strange that he didn’t yet.”

“Partially, yes,” Bright said. “We’ve had other problems-”

“Stop! Staaaahp!”

Jerking to the source of this voice, I fought off a wave of nausea. Dim had chosen an interesting compromise between its previous two desires. Crouching behind Raimie, it had one hand on his shoulder while the other was raised, holding a lump of penumbra. This, the pull of Dim’s substance to the physical plane, had me hunching on myself, hugging my stomach with one arm.

Trembling in place, Dim shouted, “Will anyone acknowledge the bind that you’ve put me in, one I’d never have come near on my own? Stopping myself from clobbering that sniveling piece of the enemy is hard enough, but no. You had to go further. Where do you put me? Not fifteen paces from… from him. I am doing my fucking best to resist my nature, but the lot of you are making it near impossible. Why do I have to be here?”

The splinter was screeching by the end of that rant. Its guise undulated over the waves passing beneath it, and despite my revulsion, my jaw dropped open. This… this was impossible.

This might help me break the cycle. I had to keep Dim stable.

Lunging forward, it roared into our silence, and I snapped my hands above my head, spreading my fingers to make it more obvious if I meant to attack.

“I… I’m only here to help Raimie understand his situation,” I said. “I swear that I won’t touch you. This time. Damn. Never thought I’d say something like that.”

Dim looked like it was on the brink, and for a heart stopping moment, I thought it would attack, forcing me to banish it, but Raimie, who’d been flicking his eyes between us the whole time, rested his hand over where Dim was touching his shoulder.

His palm sank through the splinter to his own skin, of course. Dim’s non-corporeal form wouldn’t allow physical touch, but it calmed the splinter down nonetheless. Taking a shuddering breath, it backed off, lowering a hand filled with darkness.

“Well. That was interesting.”

Licking his lips, Raimie joined me on his feet.

“You ok?” he asked.

Lowering my hands, I choked on a crazed giggle when I saw how badly I was trembling. Gods, it was almost as violent as Dim’s shaking, but what could I say? This? An enemy splinter tolerating my presence? It was exactly what I’d been looking for.

“Yeah,” I breathed. “Yeah, I’m good. I’m just-”

Fucking hell, was this joy? Was this hope, when that emotion wasn’t held at bay? How had I forgotten what it felt like?

“What about you?”

It took me a second to realize Raimie was asking that question of Dim, but that was long enough for Bright to return to its human.

Resting its hands on its hips, it asked, “Yes, how are you, oh most rash force of destruction?”

Sarcasm had been laced through that question, but I could swear I’d heard concern—of all thing—too.

Hugging itself, Dim weakly growled, “Fuck off, stick in the mud.”

Bright clicked its tongue.

“You can do better than that,” it said before turning to Raimie. “The idiot will be fine, given time.”

“Good,” Raimie said. “Because I’m still pissed at you for your behavior at the tear. I still don’t feel right, you assholes.”

He shoved a finger toward them.

“So, no more fighting, or almost fighting as the case may be, for the rest of the night. Be on your best behavior.”

With a fist held in front of my face, I bit a knuckle to keep from laughing. After all, Raimie had just berated two of the most dangerous beings he’d ever encounter, but considering he didn’t know any better, the splinters should forgive his disrespect.

So, when they instead bowed their heads, mumbling apologies, I dropped my arm to my side. When would this kid stop surprising me? I should be used to oddities like this by now, but I… most definitely was not.

“We were discussing communication issues, I believe?” Raimie said, lifting an eyebrow.

Jumping, I cleared my throat.

“Right. You said you hear buzzing from them at times?” I asked.

“Usually when they’re about to tell me something important, yes.”

“Huh.”

That was strange. It could be why Raimie’s use of his ‘energies’, as he’d called them, had been so sporadic too, which wasn’t good. In the future, he’d need that to be consistent, but I wasn’t sure how to fix it.

“I wonder if the block is between you and your splinters or all of them,” I said.

“Why don’t we find out?” Raimie asked. “You have a splinter. Creation, yes? Why don’t you have it join us?”

Behind him, Dim tensed.

“Raimie…” it muttered.

Glancing over his shoulder, Raimie said, “It would only be for a few seconds.”

“And I’ll keep it from attacking you,” I added.

Because this was a good idea. If the problem was merely with Bright and Dim, maybe Creation could intervene for Raimie.

“Fine,” Dim groaned. “I’ll just sit here and, you know, hold myself together while you invite another enemy to the table.”

“So glad to have your approval,” I said, showing the splinter my teeth. “Creation, do you mind?”

“Yes?” a small voice asked.

If I squinted hard enough, some of the damage done to Creation appeared to have healed, but the splinter still looked like hell. At its arrival, Dim barked a laugh before slapping a hand to its mouth. Still, its amusement was strong enough to knock it to the ground, where it rolled back and forth with barely muffled snickers.

“Why haven’t you banished that repugnant stain?” Creation asked.

Even exhausted as it looked, it fell into a ready stance from a long-vanished fighting form, fixing its eyes on Dim.

“It’s Raimie’s splinter,” I said.

“Oh.”

Gradually, Creation relaxed, wincing as if doing so hurt it.

Once it had stood down, it wearily asked, “Why am I here?”

No protests over leaving the enemy on this plane of existence? No attempts to override my decision? Curious.

“I need you to tell Raimie where you come from,” I said.

When Creation wrinkled its brow, light scattered through the cracks found there.

“You mean the whole?” it asked. “Why does he-?”

“It’s buzzing,” Raimie interrupted.

Huh. So, the kid’s splinters weren’t defective. Did that mean he was, or had something weakened his ties with his splinters or-?

What was I doing? The night was getting late, and I hadn’t gotten to the issue that I’d brought Raimie out here for in the first place. Drawing his splinters into the physical plane had been meant as a subtle hint as to what his life would soon become. As an added bonus, I’d also got the chance to speak with them, but neither of those side-goals had been the point. It was time to focus.

“Thank you, Creation,” I said. “That will be all.”

“But the enemy-” Creation started.

“I can handle one splinter,” I interrupted before lowering my voice. “I need you to heal, please.”

Sighing, Creation said, “Ok.”

After it vanished, Raimie said, “So, this communication problem-”

“Can wait,” I again interrupted. “We’ll work on it together, but for now, I can tell you most of what they’re trying to say. So, let’s allow Dim some relief, shall we? Although…”

I turned on the remaining splinters, raising an eyebrow when I saw Bright’s proximity to Dim. How on earth can they stand being so close to one another?

“We can excuse your human’s failure to properly introduce himself, considering he doesn’t know what you are,” I said, “but I’d like to know your aspects, please. It’s only fair since you know mine.”

I let my feral grin out, hoping Dim would hear my unspoken threat, but the splinters ignored me, exchanging a glance.

That was new. Usually, I had to deal with adoration or fear from them and nothing else. Well, except for from Creation.

“Doing this will advance the plan more than harm it,” Bright said.

Plan? What plan?

“I fucking hate agreeing with you,” Dim hissed, bristling as it faced me. “I’m a piece of Chaos.”

“Which makes me a piece of Order,” Bright said, flourishing a bow, “but please. We’d prefer to be called by the names our human has given us.”

When Dim flashed its teeth in challenge, I raised my hands placatingly.

Gods, such powerful aspects. I should have expected as much but still.

Once this was over, I’d need to shudder the prickles out of my skin for a good five minutes. Enemy splinters didn’t work together. They just didn’t.

Rubbing my eyes, I said, “Will you tell them to leave us, Raimie? They’re giving me a headache.”

“Sure thing,” Raimie said. “Do what he says. We’ll talk later.”

“Of course.”

“Be careful, kid.”

After another five heartbeats, I lowered my hands, grateful to see only one version of my friend in front of me. Suddenly tired beyond measure, I sank into the grass before patting the ground in front of me.

“So,” Raimie said. “Finally going to explain yourself?”

“Almost,” I said. “One last question and then, I’ll talk. I promise.”

Shrugging, Raimie said, “Sure. Why not?”

All right. Here we go. From this point, nothing further could delay us, and I wasn’t sure whether I hated that the time was here or annoyed that it had taken so long to come.

“I need you to tell me everything you know about magic, whether you believe the stories or not,” I said.

Not exactly a question but… details.

Raimie looked confused.

“Including yours?” he asked.

“Everything, Raimie.”

I needed to know how thorough the kid’s knowledge was. What lies would I have to disabuse?

“All right. So far as I’m aware, only two magics have existed in our world, or so it’s said. It wouldn’t surprise me to learn that others are real as well,” Raimie said. “There’s Eselan magic, your magic. Conjuration, shifting, and illusions. Supposedly, more types of this magic existed when Alouin brought the Esela through the Accession Tear, but in the millennia since, these other types have been diluted from your people’s blood.”

He paused as if seeking approval.

“Sound about right so far,” I said. “What else?”

Swallowing, Raimie glanced over my head, probably checking Gistrick and Aya’s positions. The Zrelnach were still waiting on the edge of Paft’s fields, having never moved, but when Raimie met my eyes, he still seemed skittish, like prey trapped in a corner.

“You want me to talk about primeancy?” he hissed.

“Yes. I know the subject’s taboo, what with people’s disposition toward them-”

“You mean how everyone reviles them?” Raimie snapped. “Even centuries after the last one died?”

I took a moment to clamp down on the heat rising up my throat.

“Yes,” I eventually said. “I’m sorry. I know this might be uncomfortable for you, but learning what you know about magic is important. Trust me.”

“I trust you, Rhy. I do,” Raimie said, “and the subject isn’t uncomfortable for me, more…”

He swallowed, darting his gaze between me and the plains beside us.

“Look. I like stories about primeancy, ok?” he said. “But that interest hasn’t exactly been encouraged over the years.”

Oh… fuck. For several tense heartbeats, I had to close my eyes so the burn in them wouldn’t embarrass me.

“I understand,” I said. “I still need you to tell me what you know.”

“Ok,” Raimie hesitantly said. “So… the primeancers. Let’s see.”

Drawing his knees up, he rested his chin on them, hugging his legs.

“They’ve caused or worsened every calamity our world’s seen, setting the clock back on it every time-”

“I don’t need to know about their history.”

Somehow, I kept the heat bubbling up my throat from crawling into my voice. What was this need to find something hostile and tear its throat out? Was… was this anger? If it was, why was I so potently experiencing it now? Why were so many emotions returning to me so quickly, gradually filling my shell of a heart?

Clearing my throat, I said, “Just tell me about their magic, if you please.”

“I- I’m sorry, Rhy, but I don’t know much about that part. Most of the tales I’ve read don’t focus on it,” Raimie said, clearly getting flustered. “I know that unlike Eselan magic, only two types of primeancy existed, and each of them was the opposite of the other. Supposedly, their power originated in the gods or forces of nature—I always preferred that theory—that run our world, but these forces are at war with each other… or something. I know primeancers could use energies from those forces to do wonderful and horrific things.”

Trailing off, he screwed his brow up in concentration, and I fought to keep quiet. Raimie needed to reach this conclusion without me handing over the answer.

As he straightened like a spring, the kid’s face lit up.

“Oo!” he said. “I know that they talked to the sources of their power, invisible beings-”

After a moment spent choking on his next word, Raimie slammed his mouth closed with the whites of his eyes eating into their blue color. Prey trapped by his predator.

“I’m surprised. That was all true, if colored by history,” I said. “You know less than I expected, though. We’ll have to work on that.”

“What are you saying?” Raimie whispered.

I quirked an eyebrow at him, which was apparently all the answer my friend needed.

“No.”

Scooting backward, Raimie shook his head.

“This is a joke, right?” he said. “A bad prank to top off the upheavals in my life.”

This was why I hadn’t wanted to tell Raimie his new truth. After everything that had ruined his life, I hated to slash another rent in the fabric of it.

I looked into my friend’s eyes, though, and saw that he was perfectly aware I wasn’t playing a prank on him. The kid knew the death sentence he’d been handed.

Because if anyone learned what he was, that was what would happen. The fingers of hate from the last primeancer calamity had yet to loosen. Even now, anyone suspected of claiming that magic was near instantly torn limb from limb.

I should know. It had almost happened to me a few times. I wasn’t sure if even Raimie’s status as a royal could protect him from this.

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I wish I could laugh and rib you about how gullible you are, but I can’t. This is your reality, Raimie.”

Biting my lip, I dropped my gaze to my hands, unable to bear the look in my friend’s eyes, but I forged on regardless.

“I am a primeancer. Specifically, I’m aligned with the primal force that those of this world name Ele,” I forced myself to say.

Squeezing my eyes closed, I reached for my source, teasing the smallest thread of Ele from it, before bringing it to my hands. Once done, I stared at that hated, soft glow for a moment before releasing it. Then, I raised my eyes until I met a terrified gaze to match mine.

“You’re a primeancer too, Raimie. Ask your splinters if you doubt me. They’re the sources of your power,” I said. “Oh. In case you were curious, they’re true names are Order and Chaos. I’ll let you figure out which of those belong to which of them.”

I dragged my traitor tongue to a stop before it could worsen this for Raimie.

Raimie, my friend, who was looking through me. Whose spirit was draining from his eyes, all while I scrambled for a way to keep it in place.

Without a word, he got to his feet before marching away, and for reasons I couldn’t explain, I watched him go, not once trying to stop him.

I felt sick. My lungs refused to fully inflate, and a stone had replaced my heart. Gods, what was this pain?

Collapsing in a sprawl, I wondered why the stars were sparkling more than usual until a drop of moisture rolled over my cheek. Hastily, I scrubbed my eyes, cursing myself. What had I thought would happen when inviting emotions into my life again? That it would be all exuberance and fizzy happiness? How naïve.

And I couldn’t indulge them right now. I didn’t think Raimie would betray my secret. Within a few days, he’d come to accept his new reality—he’d had enough practice with such adjustments, after all—but I needed to prepare for if I was wrong. How did one protect one’s ally after they’d decided to hate them?

If it came to that, I’d deal with it. For now, I had one more task to complete this evening.

When I returned to Paft’s town square, most of the Zrelnach had bedded down while the rest were preparing for sleep, but beside the door to a smaller hovel, Aramar was leaning against the wall with his arms crossed. When he spotted me, he jerked his head for me to join him.

On approach, I said, “Raimie knows.”

Already halfway through the hovel’s door, Aramar froze. The question I’d expected, however, didn’t come from him but from someone inside the cottage.

“Knows what?” Ferin asked.

Of course. I should have expected that the Zrelnach’s commander would sleep near a member of the royal family, and it definitely wouldn’t have been with Eledis. With Raimie… with Raimie handling recent revelations, that left Aramar. How unfortunate.

Striding inside, I said, “That I’ll be teaching Dath at the same time as him. Hello, Ferin.”

“Hiya, Rhy,” Ferin said. “You here for Aramar?”

“I need to make some adjustments on his metal ring,” I said. “Should I wait or…?”

Ferin shook her head, gesturing for me to enter the room in truth. Sitting at a table near the hearth, she looked tired, and awful as it was, I was glad for her exhaustion. Otherwise, she might have noticed the significant glances that Aramar kept throwing my way.

“You do your healer thing while we talk,” she said, “because we badly need to do that.”

Settling on the bed behind Aramar, I lifted his shirt, working to keep disquiet off of my face.

“About what?” I asked.

“Our strategy for the next few weeks,” Ferin said. “I’ve talked to Eledis throughout the day, trying to change his mind about our route. I really tried, Rhy.”

With unease trailing fingers up my spine, I leaned to the side so I could see her. She’d buried her face in her hands with her shoulders shaking.

“After what happened this afternoon, though, I don’t think it’s possible,” she said, lifting a tear-streaked face. “We’re going through the Withriingalm whether we like it or not.”