Shouts and the ringing of clashing swords filled the morning hour. The knights of Ildemar, paired in twos, brandished their weapons in a mock battle. Whenever one of the opponents was tapped on a vital spot, he would be sent away to the side where a group of pages and squires had prepared benches, water, towels, and ointments for the unluckier ones. The winner would be paired with another successful challenger and the whole would repeat. As the outskirts of the training grounds slowly filled up, only two people remained engaged in battle.
“Damn, ain't they getting tired?”
“You’re talking about a beast and a bear. No way they are.”
“Sir Duncan is a monster!”
“Yea, to move like this at his age…”
“Yall, the Duke is the true monster! Ever tried receiving one of Sir Duncan’s strikes head-on?”
“No way! He’d made your arms numb for the rest of the day.”
“I dislocated a finger once while sparring with him.”
“You see?! But His Highness faces him like it's nothing!”
“The Duke is no better than our old bear. When he swings down, it’s like he’s hammering an anvil.”
“Wanna bet how long they’ll last?”
“Forget it, newbie. The last time we wagered, those demons kept going for an hour!”
“Yea, and they stopped only because Stone-face William came to drag the Duke to do some paperwork.”
“By the Fathers, those two are really monsters.”
“They sure are. But still… isn’t today's spar a bit too severe for a training duel?”
Not too far from the knight’s heated discussion, Noah and Duncan were locked in a power struggle. Their blades scraped against each other as both men stubbornly refused to step to the side but met head-on instead. Finally, they separated, only to attack immediately. Again and again, they clashed. Occasionally, sparks flew from their blades as their screech made everyone present flinch. Instead of a swordfight, their spar was turning more and more into a competition of bulging muscles and sheer willpower.
“What’s… gotten… into… you!?” Duncan gnawed his teeth and suddenly stepped back, releasing the pressure on his opponent’s sword.
Noah lost his balance and tumbled forward. Instinctively, he took a large step and swung his sword up, targeting Duncan’s abdomen. It was a vicious strike and Noah realized it a second too late. His eyes rounded and he opened his mouth to shout a warning, but the loud clang of Duncan’s sword, deflecting the stray blade, silenced him.
Panting heavily, Noah steadied himself and lowered his weapon.
“Enough for today,” he rasped and handed the sword to Jessup, who had rushed to him with a towel and a pitcher of cold water.
“That was a dangerous move you pulled there.” Duncan poured some water on his head and snarled contently at its cool touch.
“I just acted on instinct.” Noah took a swig from his pitcher, avoiding the old knight’s gaze.
“Forget instinct. Your head wasn’t in the duel today. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing’s wrong! I just made a mistake.”
“A beginner’s mistake like that isn’t like y-”
“Oh, damn it!” Noah shoved the jug back in Jessup’s hands, spilling some water around. “When I say it’s a mistake then it’s a mistake. Won’t you just leave it like that for once, you prying old nagger!”
Stomping the ground like it had personally offended him, Noah made his way to one of the crude benches the pages had brought and threw his weight onto it. One glance was enough to deter any attempts on Duncan or the knights’ side for conversation but to further drive the point, he put the towel over his head. Now hidden from all, he was free to scream internally.
‘You no-good, dumb bastard! You almost gutted Duncan! Get a grip, you ninny!’
And yet he couldn’t get a grip. Duncan was right. His head wasn’t in the spar. His mind hadn't had a moment of calm ever since last night. Ever since… Lorelei ran away from him.
His heart tore at the memory. There had been such fear written all over her face. Her eyes had looked at him and seen… a monster. Noah’s fingers touched the rough, leathery skin of his burnt cheek. He shivered and clenched his teeth so hard that they were about to break.
She had never wavered at his sight, nor had she shown any other signs of aversion, so he thought that she didn’t care about his deformity. But obviously, she had seen him through the eyes of a physician all this time. He had been a patient in need of treatment. At least at first. And after that… He had been a benefactor that had saved her life. Had he mistaken her gratitude for something else? He had hoped that she shared the same desires, the same feelings, and the need for closeness. Well, his interpretation of her behavior had been wrong. Likely all her actions had been a courtesy to pay back what she thought she owed him. How difficult it must have been for her to suppress her true emotions and not show her disgust openly. But she had done it, in order to spare him the humiliation. She was like that - gentle and caring, sacrificing her well-being for others… even for strangers. And he had failed to grasp the truth and had put her in a terrible position. Last night, he had tried to cross a border he shouldn’t have and had seen something he’d never wished to.
His fingers dug into his hair.
‘Blind fool. She’d never see you as a lover. Why would she? She is a young, fair flower, and you… You think she’d like to wake up every morning next to someone disfigured? Someone who reeks of blood? Last night… maybe she thought that I would force her to… Oh, Gods! What did I do!?’
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With the memory of Lorelei’s terrified gaze, his heart withered bit by bit. He had been too greedy. Now, he didn’t dare to even approach her and beg for an apology. And yet, his wounded soul yearned for her. For just one more look. For a single word, uttered by her sweet voice.
‘Coward. You call yourself a knight? You’ve wronged her again. Go and face her! Apologize! Even if she rejects you and says she hates you, you owe her this much… But… I… I want her to love me, not to fear and despise me!’
The confession left his mind blank, a myriad of thoughts buzzing aimlessly between his temples. His ears picked up the laughter and the conversation of the knights like the burble of a distant stream.
“I’m telling you, lad, you will end up regretting it,” Duncan rumbled not too far away.
“Come on, Sir Duncan! Since when have you become such a great expert on love?”
“I’ve had enough wives and lovers to tell you, little prick, that what you are pulling won’t end well.”
“He’s right, Eren. Why on earth do you think that cheating on your lover will make her love you more?”
“For the last time, you thick heads, I’m not cheating! I’m just pretending. My lass has been nagging all the time about how much better her friends have it, how I’m doing this or that bad. Well, then I’ll let her see how it is when another woman snatches me away. I’m going to make her feel so jealous that she’ll beg me to be with me.”
“Or rather you’ll wake up with your balls cut off and stuck in your mouth, boy!”
Something in Noah’s stomach churned. Anger bubbled in his veins and he had to put in all his willpower not to twist the neck of the bastard sitting next to him. Did he think his lover had no feelings? That she was a doll to be played with? If he could be together with the woman he loved… He would make sure Lorelei never felt a drop of rain or a gust of wind. He’d make sure she never cried and only that lovely smile graced her face, her sweet laughter ringing through Ildemar’s halls all day. He would offer her the world should she wish for it. And yet… he was cursed to never be with the one he yearned for. That fool Eren didn’t deserve the blessing of having a lover!
‘You are jealous of him, be honest. Pathetic. So If you aren’t happy, no one else deserves happiness. What a great leader you are!’
Swallowing hard, Noah willed his stiff limbs to move. He could no longer stay and listen to all that blabber without doing or saying something he’d later regret. Throwing the towel aside, he stood up, his face - a mask of stone calm. Without a word, he left the training grounds. No one dared to follow after him.
Noah’s feet lead him in the direction of Lorelei’s chamber, but as fate would have it, their encounter happened much earlier than planned. As he was climbing up one of the broad granite staircases, his eyes glimpsed the train of a familiar dress disappearing behind the corner.
“Lorelei!” Her name escaped his lips before he could stop himself. “Lorelei, wait!”
Taking two steps in a single stride, he climbed up the stairs and stormed into the empty corridor. Looking frantically around, his stomach turned. It was definitely not a hallucination. He had heard clearly her familiar steps, her perfume still lingered in the air. But the hallway was devoid of her presence. His wandering eyes found a door ajar nearby. Almost inaudible suppressed breaths came from behind.
For a second, Noah felt the urge to storm in. To force her to face him. But his reason and the bitterness of realization prevailed. She had been so scared that she hid away the moment he shouted her name. He had no right to bother her anymore.
With a dead heart, he turned around and hastily walked away.
The way back to his study was a blur. He neither heard nor saw what was going on around him, his feet finding the right path by the grace of memory. That’s why, when something soft collided with him, he needed a few moments before his thoughts began running on the right track again.
“L-Lady Pricilla?”
He blinked at the staggering woman before him and instinctively grabbed her shoulders to steady her. In the light of the fresh morning, without the face powder, the heavy jewels, and the pompous dresses, she looked just like a regular young girl.
‘She looks so much like Lorelei.’
The thought hurt. And indeed, they both had the same soft chestnut hair, the same straight nose, rosy lips, and brown eyes. And both stared at him terrified. Although, Pricilla seemed to have a harder time hiding it. Poor girl. She looked at him like he was about to twist her neck.
“I-I… I’m sorry, my lord!”
Even their voices carried some similarities. But Lorelei’s was a bit deeper and more melodious.
“I should be the one apologizing, Lady Pricilla. I was lost in thought and didn’t see you.”
“I too am guilty of the same crime.” She laughed, but something in her laugh irritated Noah’s ear. Some giggly notes brought dissonance in a familiar melody.
“What made the lady wander so early in the morning…” Noah slowly got out of his lethargic state, his senses’ sharpness gradually returning. “And moreover, in front of my study?”
His eyes looked around and saw the two servants accompanying Pricilla. One was her personal handmaiden, the other one - a girl in a uniform in the colors of Norden.
“Your Highness,” the maid from Ildemar curtsied, “I am sorry for disturbing you, but the esteemed guest urgently requested to meet with you.”
“Alright, Lady Orten. Tell me, what sort of business do you have with me?”
“I… Duke Norden…” Pricilla fidgeted a bit like a little child caught in mischief. “I wanted to talk about… last night and apologize for what my father did…”
She blushed and threw shy looks around.
“Would… Would it be possible to converse in your study and not outside in the open?”
Her words struck a nerve in Noah. The sheer mention of last night made his blood boil and his heartache. He balled his fists and was about to shout for her to go away when a small hand pulled on the sleeve of his shirt.
“Please, my Duke!” The eyes of Pricilla Orten were sparkling with tears, her doll-like face turning pale. “Don’t send me away! I have wronged you and I want to make amends!”
The plea in her voice sounded sincere. Noah’s heart wavered. He sure hated the Ortens for what they had done to Lorelei. Both father and son had earned their places amongst the lowest of maggots. But this girl, that wasn’t even past the age of twenty… did she deserve the same animosity? Did he unjustly project his hatred towards her brother and father onto her? For some reason, there was desperation in her eyes that reminded him of the frightened Lorelei.
A sudden thought jogged his mind. With a sigh, Noah carefully pried his sleeve from her grip and bowed.
“Lady Orten, I appreciate your sentiments, but I can’t accept you right now-”
“Won’t you even give me a chance to clear up your opinion of me?”
“Let me finish, my lady. If you give me an hour to wash away the grime of training, I’d be happy to have tea with you in the Crystal Room. You just ask one of the maids to bring you there.”
“Thank you, Your Highness!” In a fit of excitement, Pricilla grabbed his hand but quickly blushed and released it. “T-thank you for the generosity!”
Gathering her skirts, she quickly left, but on the way, she turned back several times to throw shy glances at him. Only when her group was safely around the corner did Noah exhale and rub his face. He entered his study and sank into the soft chair behind his desk. His fingers drummed on a stack of documents before pulling out a clean sheet. Dipping his quill in the ink bottle, he began to write, pausing from time to time to think before putting the words on the paper.
After setting the last dot, he pulled a cord hanging next to the desk, summoning a servant.
“Bring Sir William to me.”