Compared to the bustle in the knights’ wing, the floor with Shana’s quarters was as quiet as a graveyard before a storm. The heavy, sluggish air was full of fearful anticipation and magic so thick that one didn’t need to possess a Binshi’s sight to feel it prickling on one’s skin. As Noah approached the familiar white door, the sunlight seemed to be sucked away, the colors of the spring day - dulling down to pale dream-like shadows.

With a dry mouth and back bathed in cold sweat, Noah crossed the threshold. The neat bedroom was now more akin to an ice cave with its tall white walls and filigree-carved ceilings. A thick fragrance of juniper called forth the image of snowy peaks and winter woods, making Noah shiver. He shook his head, trying to drive away the uneasiness, but in the depth of his heart, he knew this was his last chance. If he failed today, he would lose his daughter forever.

“Mother Above,” he whispered, clenching his fists, “please, give me another chance. Don’t rip away yet another piece of my heart… There isn’t much left anyway.”

“What did you say, little wolf?” As if from nothing, Kash-baba materialized next to him, shrouded in her perpetual mantle of fragrant smoke.

Noah nearly jumped up and staggered, the sudden appearance of the old shaman catching him off guard. This earned him a toothless smile and a heavy pat on the back, accompanied by a wink.

“You finally came to see the little one at a humane hour. Before sunrise and after midnight definitely aren’t the best times to visit a child, although you seem to have a persistent preference for them.”

“Is… Shana awake?” Noah needed all of his will to feign composure but the twitch of Kash-baba’s wrinkled lips told him his act was far from convincing.

“It depends on what you call ‘awake’.” She chewed on her pipe’s mouthpiece. “Her eyes are open and she is not dreaming, in any sense of the word. But… See for yourself.”

Saying that, the old Binshi led him to the bed and pulled the silver-laced curtains. Past and present merged into one as Noah stared at the familiar unsettling scene. Nestled between the soft cushions, Shana looked like an inanimate doll, her beautiful blue eyes, now two soulless glass beads, staring into nothingness.

“Is she still rejecting magic?” Noah’s chest hurt but he forced himself to keep his gaze on the child.

“You asked me the same this morning, and yesterday, and the day before. Her condition remains unchanged. Not even my powers are able to reach her.”

Swallowing dryly, Noah just nodded. From the reports of the healers, the only time Shana had shown some reaction had been on that one morning he had visited her before riding out to hunt for Nekor and the traitors. A spark of hope kindled in his heart. Maybe… he still had a chance.

With a heavy step, he crossed the distance to the bed - so short, yet so insurmountably far away - and sat on the edge. Kash-baba quietly stood next to him, her eyes vigilant, ready to interfere should a magic outburst happen again. This didn’t bother Noah. Magic and pain were constant companions in his life. What terrified him and froze his limbs was the thought that he’ll never be able to reach Shana and bring her back. Deep down, he knew he had little right to call himself her father, and yet… he loved her as such. At first, it had been a duty he had to fulfill in honor of his dead friends. But little by little, with every day they had spent together, every smile, every tear, every hug, his heart had recognized this little girl. Shana was his child, not by blood but by love.

Mouth completely dry, Noah inched his fingers until they wrapped around Shana’s little hand.

“Starlet.” His voice was little more than a whisper. “Please look at me.”

His touch made the child flinch, her whole body stiffening.

“She reacts to you!” gasped Kash-baba and her eyebrows arched.

Noah ignored her, his whole being concentrated on Shana. Her skin had begun to exude a burning cold that painfully bit into his fingers. Noah’s grip around her hand tightened.

“Starlet, please, talk to me. Say something. Anything!”

As if pricked by a needle, the girl jolted and tried to tear away from him, but Noah didn’t budge. Instead, he pulled the struggling child into his embrace, his arms wrapping securely around the freezing little body.

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“N-no!”

As muffled and weak as they were, Shana’s words were a balm for Noah’s soul. He began gently rocking the child, no longer feeling the piercing cold.

“I’m sorry, Starlet,” he whispered in return. “I’m sorry for not being there for you.”

“No…” The girl wriggled in his arms.

“I’m sorry for failing to protect you.”

“No!”

“I’m sorry for being too late… For not realizing sooner…”

“NO! L-let go!”

“You suffered because I was negligent. I was a bad father.” The words stuck in his throat and he had to force them out. “Please, forgive me. I promise… I’ll do better. Whatever it takes… Please, Shana, give me one more chance. Please, I love you.”

“N-no! P-please… L-let go!” Shana’s quiet sobs had turned into loud wails. “I always… Always hurt everyone. Let me be! Let go!”

“I won’t.”

“You got burned because of me!” Her little hands pulled on his shirt. “You got injured… So much… So often... Because of me. Because of my evil magic... My evil prophecies... I don’t… I… Let me go!”

“I won’t!”

“B-but… I even… I t-tried t-to harm y-you. Those b-blue flames... Even now… The magic… I can't control… Y-you’ll freeze! L-let go!”

“I won’t. ”

“Please, papa! I don’t… want to hurt anyone... anymore. I don’t want to hurt y-you!”

“Then you won’t,” said Noah in a hushed voice, his breath coming out in white, puffy clouds. He stroked the child’s messy hair. “And even if you try, a little pipsqueak like you couldn’t harm the big, bad Beast of Norden.”

“B-but… I… did! I just… wanted to protect everyone. But… I saw you bleed. And Uncle Gerash… I hurt him too. I… did something very… very bad! I always do something bad! I didn’t mean for this to happen. I… was supposed to save you all.”

“Oh, Starlet…”

“You… you must hate me. You should hate me! That stupid magic is evil! I’m evil. I… should better die…”

“NO!” Noah pushed the child gently away, enough to be able to look into her teary eyes. “Don’t you dare mention death! You hear me?”

“But… I did so much bad… To you… To Uncle… Even… That woman… I… want to turn back time! To undo… But… I can’t…”

Noah’s heart quivered. He looked at Shana's tear-smeared face; peered deep into her eyes. He could lie. He could tell her she did nothing wrong. Maybe he should. And yet, a trust built on a lie was a slow-acting poison.

Pressing his forehead against Shana’s, he said softly:

“Yes, you did something wrong. But only a coward runs away from responsibility. And Yanosh’s daughter… My daughter is not a coward. I know, it’s scary. It hurts. You wish to disappear. To act as if it didn’t happen. But it’s wrong. When we do something bad, it is also our duty to amend it. It’s easy to run away. But it is right to stay and work hard to atone. If you really are sorry, if you really want to change what you did, don’t talk about dying. Think about how to live and do good to compensate for your mistake. And I’ll help you, every step of the way. And someday, peace and forgiveness will come.”

“Even after what I did? I broke the Star… Lied to you and blamed… that woman? I tried to curse her… To drive her away… I brought her pain! And then I sent those flames after you and Uncle! I… I’m sorry… I know it isn’t enough. It’ll never be enough… There is no way I can atone…”

“Nonsense!” Noah gave her a warm smile. “I know you weren’t acting on your own accord. There was someone evil manipulating you. Both Gerash and I don’t hold a grudge. As for Lorelei…Broken objects can be repaired; broken bonds can be mended. As long as everyone is alive, as long as you show the will to change, there is still a chance. But no matter what happens, I’ll be by your side.”

“W-why…? How can you forgive me so easily? You suffered so long because of me.”

“Those are the plights of a parent.” Noah tried to joke but seeing her earnest little face, he sighed and kissed the girl’s forehead. “On a beautiful spring morning nine years ago, I witnessed a miracle. I was just a foolish youth back then, living by blade, brawl, and death. Your father used to call me dur-bagirse, and indeed, I was no better than a crazy lion-cub. And yet, on that day, the day you were born, something changed. Have I ever told you? After the midwife and your parents, I was the first to hold you. I was terrified. You were so tiny. I thought that one wrong breath would be enough to break you. And yet you were crying so loudly that the whole village shook. You were so full of life, so frail, yet your tiny fists were curled up as if to fight the whole world. And then, you went quiet and stared at me with those tiny eyes that couldn’t even open properly, and smiled. That was the moment I knew. I would do anything to protect that smile. To protect you. You are my treasure, Shana. And you’ll always be.”

“P-papa!” Burying her face in his broad shoulder, Shana began sobbing, no longer trying to push Noah away. “I’m so sorry, papa. I won’t do it ever again. I’ll be good. I’ll make you proud.”

“My foolish little Starlet. I am already proud. I love you, Shana.”

“Pa… pa! I vuv… too…” Whatever more she had to say was drowned in sobs.

Noah rocked her, no longer able to suppress the stinging in his own eyes. His whole body felt light and warm as the tears washed away his worries. Whatever the future had for them, he was no longer afraid. His precious little girl was back. His heart was mending and soon, hers would too.

“Mir-mama,” he choked, “thank you!”