“My, you are gorgeous! Just let me apply some powder and a little rouge on your cheeks, my lady,” Milly chirped brightly and fussed around her mistress with a makeup jar.
Lorelei closed her eyes and considered for a second declining the maid’s offer. She hated makeup. No, she abhorred it. But it was a special occasion and the Duchess of Norden needed to look the part, lest the Imperial Envoys found any flaws with the welcome. The Crown Prince’s visit depended on that.
As the soft brush pressed against her cheek, Lorelei stiffened, a painful itch crawling down her back. The sweet smell of rouge and powder reminded her of the banquets the Ortens held. The ones she was allowed to only glance at from afar. The Limerian Nobility sure liked their cosmetics and both men and women were competing over whose skin looked most translucent, whose eyebrows were best shaped, and who had the rosiest lips. A tantalizing and alluring vanity Lorelei had once dreamed to be able to participate in. Until that night.
She remembered the beaming face of the young noble, his soft features, the benign laughter. Her heart had fluttered - captivated, enamored, fooled. She had accepted the cheap powder jar from him, applying it so very carefully as if it were the most precious of salves. She had dreamed of them dancing together during the feast - a rebellious act right under her father’s gaze. But she had been sure that he would defend her from any harm. He had been her knight, her first love. She had been a foolish child of fourteen.
Lorelei’s throat tightened as the sweet fragrance of the rouge was displaced by the stench of horse dung and wet hay. She remembered the damp darkness of the stables. Her brother’s taunts and laughter as he had bent her arms behind her back, and the giggles of his friends. Their rough, thirsting hands over her tiny breasts.
Her breath stuck in her chest. Her bedroom disappeared completely. The young nobleman was over her again, his body crushing her against the hay, his fingers greedily rummaging through her skirts and clawing at her thighs.
Bending forward, Lorelei coughed and shook, a distant portion of her mind registering Milly’s frightened outcry.
“Lady! What’s happening!?”
“Water,” he rasped and greedily downed her cup.
She thought she had overcome it. Although she had never worn makeup after that day, she believed that she had locked away that night in the depths of her heart. She had helped Master Levi attend to whores and rich merchant wives day after day, year after year until that horrid, repulsive smell had become a matter of fact. But then… They smeared her face white on her wedding night, and the terror had rekindled. And after that… Danika’s murder and her kidnapping by Master Argente had flamed the cinders of her memory. That repulsive man had also tried to have his way with her. As if she was an object. A rag doll to play with… A piece of meat to devour whenever they wished…
In a blur, she grabbed for her handkerchief and poured all the remaining water on it. Without a word or thought, she began scrubbing her face clean. Her ears picked up the fluttering of skirts, the squeaking of the door, and some commotion outside of her bed chamber, but she didn’t care. She continued rubbing even when the sound of rushed, soft steps came next to her, or when a big shadow fell on her. It was when a familiar rough hand gently clasped around her wrist that she froze and returned to her senses.
“Lorelei,” Noah’s gentle voice tore through the darkness in her mind, “what are you doing? Are you alright?”
No, she wasn’t! She wanted to scream. Cry. Huddle in his embrace. But instead, she lifted her chin and looked into his worried gray eyes.
“Yes. I’m perfectly alright. Just didn’t like the makeup.”
“You are lying.” Noah pried the kerchief from her hand. “I think you’d better stay here.”
“No.” She shook her head, trying to sound more confident than she felt. “I’ll see my duty to the end. That was our deal, Your Highness.”
“Forget about that damn deal!” He raised his voice but immediately mellowed when he saw her flinch. “There is no need for you to strain yourself so soon after your recovery. And I talk from experience when I say that one’s family can be quite straining. Better not bother with those flies. Instead, I’ll call Rish-”
“Thank you, Your Highness,” Lorelei chuckled against her will, the image of her father and posh sister rolling in a dung heap buzzing through her head. “But I’ll have to meet them sooner or later.”
This story originates from Royal Road. Ensure the author gets the support they deserve by reading it there.
“I can hide you. After all, isn’t a Beast’s job to lock away damsels in tall dark towers?”
“And feeding them bread and water?” Lorelei’s eyelashes fluttered, as she fought a laugh, her dark thoughts blown away by his mischievous smile.
“I actually thought about a berry pie and some honey milk, but I could make adjustments.”
“No need. I will accompany you to the harbor, my lord. It is both my duty and my wish.”
“Your wish is my command, my lady.” He lowered his head and kissed her fingers. “In that case, would you accept a small gift?”
From his inner pocket, Noah procured an intricately shaped crystal vial and offered it to her. Unplugging the bottle, Lorelei was engulfed by the fresh fragrance of mint and lily-of-the-valley.
“I hope it is to your liking. If not, just throw it away.”
“It is.”
She felt the urge to say more. To thank him and praise his gift. But for some reason, the words didn’t want to get out. The perfume’s aroma lulled her strained mind, erasing the repulsive sweetness of makeup and memory. She dabbed a few drops on her skin, careful not to waste too much of the precious gift.
Lifting up her head, she noticed Noah staring at her with a faint frown and an absentminded gaze.
“Should I reapply the powder again, your highness?”
“You need no such thing. Even now, you are pale enough. Are you really sure you want to come?”
“I thought we finished that discussion.”
“Then, my duchess, lean on me. A boat is waiting for us at the pier.”
The two walked slowly, hand in hand, followed by Sir Lucas and Sir Aiden, who were part of their escort for the day. On the way to Ildemar’s boat house, Noah chatted with her, as she suspected in an attempt to lift her spirits and distract her from her worries. But still, something gnawed on her mind.
“Aren’t any Shadows going to escort us today?”
The presence of the white-haired guards had begun feeling like something routine and natural, so now their absence stuck out like a sore thumb.
“They will. But this time, they will act their shadowy part. I’ve come to know that the fine lords and ladies of the capital tend to get too nervous and sweaty when in close proximity to an armed shaman. Better not grind their nerves from the start.”
There was indeed some truth in his words. As Lorelei was about to inquire who their guards for the day were, secretly hoping for Rish and Rasha, or maybe Dederi and her brother Feste, a child called from behind.
“Father! Duchess! Please wait!”
Lorelei’s heart sank, recognizing Shana’s voice. She had no need for this meeting! Was this a bad omen? Another attempt to curse her? Would Shana dare harm her before Noah? But she had done so once already. With a buzzing head and a tight chest, Lorelei turned around, only for her mind to become completely blank.
Dressed in a simple pair of trousers and a linen shirt, Shana stood before them, flanked on both sides by Neli and Kush-turgan Akasha. The girl’s face looked gaunt, her beautiful eyes still carrying some dark circles. But the most startling change was the fact that all of her snow-white mane had been cut off, leaving a barren head behind.
Gasping, Lorelei looked at Noah but he seemed completely unimpressed, although there was some sadness in his gaze.
“It was her decision and I accepted it,” he answered Lorelei’s unspoken question.
“Lady Duchess!” Shana bowed deeply. “I know that whatever I say, won't erase the past and the wrongs I’ve committed against you. I wouldn’t dare beg you for forgiveness. But today, I give you my vow, before Mir-Mama and the ones who are most precious to me. I swear upon my soul, I’ll never bring you harm from this day and to the end of days. I’ll work hard to restore the Star of Norden and repay my debt to all I’ve harmed. I hope that by the time my hair grows back, I’ll be able to amend some of my wrongs.”
Saying that, the child bowed again to Noah and hurriedly walked back to the castle. Lorelei balled her fists and whispered quietly, avoiding meeting his eyes:
“What does she…? What do you expect from me?”
“Nothing.” He took her hand and rubbed it gently. “I know I have no right to demand, or even hope, that you forgive and forget. But at least give her a chance.”
“I…” Lorelei stared after the child. “I don’t know if I can.”
She thought of all the pain, the humiliation, the fact that she almost lost her life. But then there was her secret - her curse of being a nesvet host. And there was the prophecy and the horrid futures that could have come true. If she had been in Shana’s place, would she have behaved differently?
Licking her lips, she muttered:
“I don’t know if I can forgive her. But… I can at least try.”
“I don’t ask for more.”
With a heavy step and an even heavier heart, Lorelei walked down the gravel path and into the dark unknown of the future.