Sivina's confession made everything more complicated for Yu.
Until now he had thought it would be okay if he ignored her love because he would turn back the time, but at this point it seemed impossible to ignore it.
Sivina said she was in love again and again, not caring about anything Yu said. Even when he told her about his crimes, she kept talking about her love for him.
“How long will it take us to reach Ethalot? Maybe three or four years. What am I going to do until then?”
Before, he didn't want to think because thinking made him tired, now he didn't want to think because he was afraid of thinking.
“I wish I was really heartless, then I wouldn't care.”
But now he couldn't get it out of his mind. How could he forget? Sivina would always be there for him, always reminding him of her love.
But at the same time his chest burned for the star he longed to touch. His soul was angry with Yu, hurting him and trying to rub in his face memories that he didn't remember, memories that didn't belong to him.
The sound of the lullaby was in his ears and whoever the woman was singing the lullaby, she was sadder now.
He was on one of the minarets of the Aquarius Cathedral, facing southwest. When he moved in this direction he met Rolderhelm.
Aqua was a different city. It resembled ordinary medieval European cities, but in some ways it was reminiscent of Chinese architecture. Especially the hot springs were built in an oriental style.
Yu had no doubt that these artifacts had belonged to the Interworld Travelers who had come here before him.
The wind was blowing a little hard and the sun was beating down. He put down the towel and smoothed his hair with his hand. He didn't feel like combing it.
“I might be afraid of heights,” he thought as he looked down at the city below. It was scary from up here, but not so scary that he wanted to turn back immediately.
“I have to save Rie, I have to give Yurine a happy life, I have to destroy the obstacles in their way. Then... After that, I must find a way to survive, and if I can't, I deserve to die.”
He had cried a lot today and was still crying. At least now, there were not as many tears as there were at the spa. Only a few tears fell down the minaret.
“I don't want to die. I don't want to fight. I want to be happy.” He continued to watch the sea as he listed his wishes to himself. “But I want to fight, I want to kill them, anyone who stands in the way of happiness... I don't know what I want.”
His anger continued to grow as he thought back to his brief encounter with Yu Zao, and this anger strengthened his resolve.
“I never forgot what I had to do,” he said to himself. He turned around and made sure the door to the balcony of the minaret was closed. “I never stopped rewinding time, I will save Rie, I will reunite Yurine with her mother.”
Yu Valarfin's determination had never wavered since he set out on this path, and now it was even stronger.
“I will give this soul whatever it wants and at last my soul will be at peace. I will be the man I was meant to be.”
He wasn't laughing, he wasn't happy, but he was more serious than ever.
He realized that he was still not so different from before. He was still confused and if he had to sin, he would not hesitate to sin.
Yet something was different.
He looked at his left hand, examined his claws. “My inner expression. I'm not as beautiful as I used to be, huh?”
He was touching his left hand with his right, but there was no feeling in the bony tissue of his left hand. When he pressed, he could feel the weight, but not the sensation that his skin normally created.
He hit the wall of the minaret with the bottom of his fist. When he hit the minaret with his left hand, the same thing happened as when he hit it with his right, nothing.
This black hand did not give him any special abilities except ugliness. The only good thing about it compared to his right hand was that when he hit the wall he felt the pressure but not the pain. Still, his shoulder ached.
“The sun touching my skin, the wind caressing my hair... It feels so different now.” He took a long, deep breath. “This Yu Valarfin is clearly better than the last one, and tomorrow's Yu Valarfin will be even better than today's Yu Valarfin.”
He sat on the floor and shielded his hand from the sun as he tried to look up at the cloudless blue sky. All the while he stretched and wished someone would come and massage him.
“I'll start again. This time I'll take Vermia.” If someone heard him talking to himself, they would think he was crazy, but he continued. “And then Virgo Cathedral will be the most popular cathedral, we will gain power and we will enter Ethalot. The easy way or the hard way, we will get there.”
He clenched his left fist. It was a hand that didn't belong to him and the look reminded him of a dragon.
“And after that I will start again, again. No, this time we will start again. When that time comes, the Yu Valarfin who starts again will be much, much better than he is in this world. The Yu Valarfin then will be a miracle maker. I will write destiny the way I want it, I will never lose anyone again, no one will suffer except me.”
He stood up and looked out to sea one last time before opening the door to the balcony.
「I #####'###!」
When he shouted, the crows, which he hadn't realized were standing on the funnel-shaped top of the minaret, flew away in fright, and feathers from the wings of some of them fell near Yu.
In fact, if someone had asked him what he said when he shouted, he would not have been able to answer. He shouted, but he himself did not know what came out of his mouth.
But he didn't care and opened the door and went down the stairs.
He wanted to go straight to Yurine's room. Even though this confrontation would be painful for him, he had to do it.
When he came downstairs, he turned to a male servant of the cathedral and asked. “Where is the Virgo Cardinal's room?”
“Turn left ahead,” said the servant.
Yu had gone straight to the top of the minaret because he was too ashamed to face Yurine, but now he could find the courage to do so. The new Yu Valarfin and Yurine would meet for the first time.
“You're not wearing your butler clothes.”
Dimen was waiting at Yurine's door. Apart from the steel on his chest, the rest of his armor was leather, and since they were not allowed to carry weapons in the cathedral, he was ready to use his claws in case of danger.
“I don't want to wear it anymore,” Yu replied.
He was wearing the same outfit he had worn after the dragon had brought him to the Vermilia camp. White pants and a white dress with short sleeves. A purple line ran down the center of the garment.
Even though his outfit was very simple, Yu Valarfin was still handsome and he still looked good in everything he wore.
The only thing he complained about this outfit was that he could not hide his left hand. He could do it with the help of a long-sleeved outfit and a glove, but if he wore them he would sweat and he didn't want to sweat.
Dimen moved out of Yu's way and Yu opened the door and spoke before entering. “Call Link, Sivina, and Ana.”
Although the room was much smaller than the one in their own home, it was furnished with the luxury befitting a cardinal. The curtains and windows were wide open and the sunlight illuminated the interior.
Tulle hung around the bed where Yurine lay. Kigaro sat in a chair at the head of the bed.
“Are you feeling better?” Kigaro asked. He didn't hesitate to look at Yu's left hand.
“I am better than yesterday and worse than tomorrow.”
He didn't pay much attention to Yu's answer. As he continued to sit with his arms folded over his stomach, he glanced at Yurine out of the corner of his eye.
“She must not die before us.”
“I agree with that.”
Although Kigaro probably mentioned something about the roaron ritual, he agreed with Yu. The roarons had to keep Yurine alive and if she died, their existence would lose its meaning.
Yu pulled the veil and sat down next to Yurine's head. Yurine was not sleeping peacefully, her face looked like she was in a bad dream. Yu put his right hand to Yurine's hair and stroked it.
“You're just playing game,” said her sister, or what took the shape of her sister.
Whoever had said it, the words had hurt Yu. Yu had never been a father before, of course, and the last time he saw his father was when he was a baby, so he didn't know how to be a father, but it felt good to tell himself that he was Yurine's father. He was even proud of it.
No matter what anyone said, Yu was the only father Yurine had and he resented the humiliation of such a cherished bond.
“Father... What a father I am...” When he remembered what he had done with Uhrimi, his regret grew. “Why did I let that woman? And I was going to fuck her...”
His face was red with shame. If Yurine knew this, she would be angry and upset. Yu had let that woman play with him for a brief moment of relief.
He didn't just allow it, he asked for it.
“Regret won't help and I don't want to waste any more time humiliating myself.”
He had things to do and they could not be done by a Yu Valarfin who was struggling with himself. So he would put his problems aside for the duration of his mission, and only when he had finished would he look them in the face again.
The genuine version of this novel can be found on another site. Support the author by reading it there.
He was thinking, “Where are they?” when there was a knock on the door of the room.
“Come in,” Yu called out.
The door opened and Ana, Sivina and Link entered in turn. Then they closed the door and left Dimen outside.
Since Sivina remembered, assuming Yurine also remembered, there were two people inside who didn't know what had happened. One was Ana and the other was Kigaro.
He also had to tell Ana and Kigaro what had happened. He also wanted to be as honest as possible with all of them and confess what he had done.
“Feeling better?” Link asked. He sat opposite Yu, at Yurine's feet.
“Yes, thank you.”
Sivina moved to the other end of the bed and sat at next to Yurine's head. Ana sat in the last empty corner of the bed.
“Why have you gathered us all here?” Ana asked.
“To separate us if Yurine strangles me again,” Yu replied. He was serious.
He didn't want to die and he didn't want his death to be by Yurine's hand by mistake.
“Will you wake her up?” Sivina asked.
Yu glanced at Sivina out of the corner of his eye and immediately averted his eyes like a shy lover. He didn't think he would do such a thing, but because of the freshness of the moment, he was afraid to look her in the eye or speak to her. So he just nodded his head in agreement.
He put his right hand on Yurine's cheek, warm and soft. He called out gently as he stroked her gently. “Yurine.”
Yurine did not wake up at the first call, as is often the case. So he called out twice more.
“Yurine, Yurine.”
When he called out to her a little more, he got what he wanted. Yurine's long black eyelashes parted to reveal her red eyes.
At first she said nothing, she just waited. Then she raised her hands and took Yu's hand. When she did that, tears came to her eyes.
“We are safe,” Yu said. “You don't need to be afraid.”
Yurine said nothing, but she was sniffling and sobbing. Yu straightened her up and put her head on his shoulder, hugging her and stroking her hair.
This time he didn't let Yurine put her arms around his neck. Instead, he made Yurine put her arms through his armpits. So that Yurine couldn't strangle him.
He was still hugging too tightly and hurting Yu, but Yu could take it.
Yurine began to cry louder and louder. She was sobbing, sometimes coughing because of the sobs, but she didn't speak. She just cried.
“Everything will be beautiful, I promise,” Yu said. “We will get there, we will accomplish our mission. I promise.”
He had promised this before, but he was saying the same things again to reassure Yurine.
Yurine stopped hugging Yu and stepped back a little. With tears still streaming from her red eyes, she sniffled, raised her hand and slapped Yu's left cheek.
It was clearly a mana-enhanced slap, because Yu's lip exploded and one of his molars separated from his jaw and fell onto the bed. His mouth soon filled with blood.
As Yu and everyone else looked at Yurine in confusion, Yurine grabbed Yu by the collar and started yelling.
“IDIOT! IDIOT! IDIOT!”
hE had never heard HER shout so loudly before. This tone of voice was going to be difficult for Yurine too, so she coughed and had to lower her voice.
“Why are you scaring me! Why are you hurting yourself! I said let's go! I said let's run away! Why don't you listen to me! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot Yu!”
He was sad to see his teeth go, but Yurine was the one he needed to focus on right now. He listened silently to Yurine's scolding, his face falling again.
“I was scared...” Yurine said in a trembling voice. “I was so scared... I was scared of losing you, Yu.”
Of course Yurine could have said a lot more right now, but she was crying harder than ever, her sobs and the tears prevented her from speaking.
She put her head on Yu's chest and hid her face. Yu hugged him again.
“Yu, let's give up.” Yurine spoke as she squeezed Yu's shoulders. “There are other countries, let's go there. Don't get hurt again...”
These were words he had never expected to hear from Yurine. So he could not believe what he heard and waited for her to speak again.
“I can be your sword fairy. Let's run away, this path is hurting you. This dream is hurting you. Yu, please let's not fight again...”
Yurine's words were hard for her to say too, Yu knew that. He wished he had never made Yurine say them, but he had. He had made her hurt herself, broken her heart perhaps more than ever.
“I can't,” he said, forcing his aching jaw to speak. “I have to finish what I started.”
Yurine asked shouting. “WHY?!”
“I...”
He wanted to tell Yurine about what he had seen, about the Sky Palace, but doing so now would not lead to anything good. Not only were there people here who didn't know their true purpose, but Yurine would feel bad if he told her that he had seen Rie when she had already given up on saving her mother.
So he could only say, “This is bigger now than it was before. I will succeed. We will reach that world. My resolve is stronger than ever, Yurine.”
If Yurine had said these things at Rolderhelm, Yu might have been very happy, he might have given a different answer, but now he was on a path of no return.
The soul he carried wanted Rie to be saved and the feelings he had for her in his heart would not let him leave her.
“Yu...” Yurine cried.
***
Of course, he had been to the dentist before, but this was the first time he had encountered such a treatment.
Sivina had taken Yu's fallen tooth and replaced it, and Yurine had restored it with a healing spell. He didn't know what to say to this method of treatment.
Sivina smiled coquettishly as he removed her fingers from Yu's mouth. As seductive as that smile was, he avoided thinking about her beauty and decided to think about something different.
“How can she smile even though she's dead?” He sighed. “That's all that was missing, the waifu who lost the ability to think clearly.”
He himself was aware that he was not in the best of health at the moment. Normally he would have thought he would have gone mad after being burned like that, but thanks to the Sky Palace's influence, he was able to keep his sanity.
Yet he felt a strong attachment to the Sky Palace, to Rie, to whatever had happened in the past, and maybe he could call it a kind of madness.
After wiping the blood from his mouth with a handkerchief, he was still sitting on the bed. The others were in the same place.
Yu hadn't paid attention to the others while Yurine was talking, but now he looked up and saw Ana's eyes were red. She had cried.
“Okay, I can't be completely honest, but I'll try something,” he said, looking at his friends. “I told Link and Sivina something, but I'll tell them again...”
He wasn't sure if he should tell Sivina about the theft, but he felt that if he had told Sivina about it and now kept it from the others, it would ruin his reputation with Sivina.
Maybe that would have been good in a way, but Yu Valarfin was still a proud man and he didn't want that to happen.
“Yu, what are you going to tell me?” Yurine asked.
“I'll start with the fraud in Rolderhelm,” Yu replied.
Link and Ana approached him with concern, even though he knew because he had told Sivina. Kigaro didn't care.
“Fraud?” Ana asked.
“Yes. I got the gold I gave you in İlonya by scamming people in Rolderhelm. It was a trick I saw on the internet, giving people fake match results and taking money in return. Well, half of the results I gave were correct and about three thousand people got rich, but in the end about as many lost their money.”
Link put his hand to his face. “So scamming is something you've done before...”
“If you look at it not only in terms of money, all my life I've been introducing Yu Valarfin, who is not really me.”
He thought Link would be angry, but he didn't seem to be, or preferred not to show it.
“I can't deny that I am disappointed,” Ana said. Her face was completely grim. “I understand you did something similar with Link...”
“I plated copper with gold and traded with Leshua. We bought the supplies that are now in the army at a much lower price than usual, and we did it by posing as royalty.” That was the scam he and Link pulled together.
But this was a current event, he had older things to tell.
“I also committed a robbery in İlonya, I took the gold in İlonya that I brought here, that's what I called it. When Leoral spoke to you, I used Luna to find out what he was up to, and when I did, I killed Leoral and Bart, and I was the one who told Yurine to kill Raul.”
He looked at Link and Ana's faces, hesitant to look, but thinking that if he was making a confession, he should be brave and look them straight in the face.
They were both disappointed and could not hide it.
“When Rie died, the Hunter and Virgo Blessings passed to me, I was the original bearer of them, but I thought Yurine would be more easily accepted as a cardinal, so I played a trick and made it look like Yurine was carrying them.”
This was the last confession he made in the contemporary world. He couldn't say anything else. Now it was time for what he had done in the unlived world.
“Ana, Kigaro...” The two of them did not know what had happened. “We have been to Vermia before, but we were incomplete, very incomplete. We were traveling on the lake when we were attacked by the Jade Dragon.”
Seeing that Ana was about to ask a question, he raised his hand and stopped her.
“The survivors went to the Vermian camp, I fell into the lake and somehow I reached Jade Island and met the dragon, he said he could get me to the camp in exchange for my hand. That's why my hand is like this now, because I gave it to him. I think.”
Ana's questions were still unanswered and Kigaro listened curiously.
“On the hill where the camp was built, we set up a defensive perimeter to meet the enemy. When the royal army arrived, they attacked us and towards the end of the battle the Cardinal of Libra came to support us with his army. He told us that Yu Zao was coming with another army.”
Thinking about Keichi still made him nervous.
“Of course, there are two things I did before they came, first I convinced Cornelia to capture Cecilus and imprison him, but instead of doing that I killed Cecilus. So I tricked Cornelia. And before I killed Cecilus I killed Shimen von Bishory because the Bishorys were preparing to switch sides. They had a prior agreement.”
He had to deal with this problem again. He wanted to kill not only Shimen but also Sir Devan, because after Shimen he would be the commander of the Bishorys in the army and he had a belief that he would betray Cornelia.
“Then Yu Zao's army came, we fought and lost, then the Libra Cardinal used the Libra Blessing and rewound time. And here we are.” He anticipated Ana's question and spoke before she spoke. “The reason I remember this, or rather the reason we remember this, is that I have the Virgo and Orion Blessings. At least that's what I assume.”
Ana and Kigaro were silent. He waited for them to say something and after a while Ana spoke. “Who remembers? You and Yurine?”
“I remember too,” Sivina said.
“Probably those close to me remember,” Yu added. “A wizard destroyed our army with lightning bolts and I didn't see the roarons after that, probably because the roarons died before that happened...”
Yu came up with an idea that gave him hope and eased his guilty conscience.
If the roarons died before time was rewound and therefore do not remember what happened, it would mean that the Blessings that Yu carries have no effect on the dead.
“Because we died...” Kigaro spoke curiously.
“You don't remember...”
So Yurine and Sivina were not dead as far as he remembered. This hypothesis eased Yu's guilty conscience as much as a feather.
“Here are our problems,” Yu said, taking no more questions. “First, there is someone or some people in the third division who will attack the Jade Dragon and provoke it into attacking us.”
“We can separate the third division from the army, but what could they have done to provoke the dragon?” Link asked. He was accepting things too quickly.
“It amazes me how quickly you are convinced of something like the rewinding of time,” Yu couldn't help saying. “A great flame arrow was used against the dragon. We need to investigate the presence of a mage. Maybe Yurine can sense his presence if she gets close, but that's dangerous too.”
“Why?” Kigaro asked.
“Because the attack that angered the dragon could be against Yurine,” Ana replied. She too was accepting the situation very quickly and Yu was really stunned.
“Why is that?”
If it was Yu, they would not have been able to persuade him so easily.
“I can feel the mana too,” Ana said. “I can control it instead of Yurine.”
“Will it be less dangerous if you do it?” Yu asked. “Can't he attack you?”
“Better than him attacking Yurine...” Ana's feelings were incomprehensible.
Yu remained silent and accepted the offer with a nod. Now came the second and much bigger problem.
“Yu Zao's army contains a wizard powerful enough to destroy armies, we cannot defeat him. We must take Vermia and take refuge in the city before the first enemy army arrives, that's the first option.”
“Can't the wizard attack the city?” Sivina asked. “I think he is strong enough.”
“I don't think Yu Zao would allow such a spell to be cast against the city. We'll be in a very difficult situation again, but it's better than being in the field.”
“And how do we take the city? If we could, we would have done it the first time.” Sivina made the point Yu was about to make.
“The Jade Dragon has no heart and wants it back. In our first deal, I was to give him my hand or take his heart from the underworld and return it to him. This time I will offer him a new deal and offer him his heart.”
Yu couldn't tell whether they were looking at him with a stunned expression because he wasn't being taken seriously or because he was being taken seriously.
“I have no intention of entering the underworld now. It will be a long-term deal, I will make it in the future. If he agrees, I will ask him to attack the city walls. This is where the second option comes in, I will suggest it before the first option.”
Yu came to the original plan he had in mind.
“If he agrees, we will attack Yu Zao's army with him. Maybe he is strong enough to defeat the sorcerer who destroyed our army without even showing us his face.”
“What if he refuses?” Link asked.
“If he doesn't accept one of the two things I ask in exchange for giving him his heart in the future, I have to give him his heart now, not in the future. I will go down to the underworld and take his heart and he will accept it.”
The only way out Yu could think of was to make a deal with the dragon. Otherwise the wizard would destroy them again.
“I hope we get a better deal this time...”