“Iggghhhhhhhhğğğğğğhggghhhhhıaaa...”
It had been a week since they had been banned from leaving the city.
There had been no news from Rechapel in the past week and they had spent their time there unproductively.
Yu frequented the city library for leisure, but eventually he got bored and wandered around the city with Yurine.
Right now, every muscle in Yu's body was working for one purpose, to get what was inside out.
Shlop.
As the feces fell down, the water in the toilet bowl splashed all the way up to Yu's buttocks.
“Uh, fuck, it's like I dropped a bomb.”
He had a hard time doing this because he had eaten foods he didn't know what it was.
Lucie, who was at the inn for dinner, brought him strange things and waited excitedly for him to eat. Yu finished the whole meal, not knowing whether it was good or bad because he couldn't taste it, and made Lucie happy by telling her it was good.
But now he realized that if he had a sense of taste, his interpretation of the food might have been very different.
“Off...”
He put his head in his hands as another turd fell with a clop.
“Lan... I've never seen Yurine pee... I mean, of course I shouldn't normally, but she never said she went to the bathroom.”
When they was in the adventurers' guild, she had gone to the bathroom to clean up after spilling juice on herself, and that was the only time he had ever seen her go to the restroom. She said it when she was thirsty or hungry, and she didn't hesitate to say it every time she was bored, but he had never heard her talk about the toilet.
“Don't the sword fairies excrete? I'd say she's hiding it because she's embarrassed, but we've been together for so long, the kid really doesn't go to the restroom. Although... She once peed her pants while sleeping.”
Yu started to think about how Yurine had gotten her food out.
“I mean... Maybe she's turning it into mana? Maybe she's doing it when she's awake and she can't do it when she's asleep, so she's excreting it naturally. Since she doesn't go to the toilet during the day, it has to be excreted somehow and she doesn't piss herself all the time, but now... The mana she used to heal me... Her... I'd better not think about it."
When he had finished, he stood up and took one last look at his work.
“Just in time for the renovations.”
They had asked them not to use the bathroom on their rooms, saying that some rooms on their floor were being renovated. Otherwise Yu would not have used the public toilets.
He poured the water into the toilet bowl to wash away the filth.
“If you saw this thing, you wouldn't be able to tell it came from me.”
The water level rose, then fell, and a “flolop grurrr...” sound echoed from the drain, indicating that the water was swirling away, but the dirt was still there.
Grumbling, Yu refilled the water in the basin and poured the water back into the toilet bowl.
“No way.”
When the mess didn't go away, he did it again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
At some point, the water level only started to rise instead of falling.
“Oh, no...”
He poured a little more water, hoping that if too much water accumulated in the toilet bowl, it would weigh it down and cause the blockage to drain away, but it didn't do anything except bring the water level up to the rim of the bowl.
“What the fuck do I do now?”
He looked around for an object with which he could open the toilet, but he could not find a plunger or anything else in the stalls or anywhere else.
But he couldn't leave the toilet like that, so he took one of the brooms from the toilet, turned it upside down and dipped the handle into the toilet bowl. He didn't want to be the one who would have to use this broom later.
Yu tried for a few minutes, but he still couldn't open the toilet.
“Did you wait for me to do that?”
He pressed the handle of the broom harder. As he put his weight on the handle while pressing the broom against the toilet bowl, his head almost went into the bowl when the broom broke, but at the last moment he grabbed the corner of the bowl and saved his head.
“Oh, shit.”
Yu stuck his head out of the cabin and looked outside. “No one saw me come in here, I'll be fine if I escape without anyone noticing.” After washing his hands, he put his ear to the restroom door.
“I can't hear anything, except that damn ringing.”
He realized again that his ears were ringing. At a moment when he should have been concentrating on his work, the ringing was distracting him.
“Oh, fuck...”
He put his pinky in his ear and tried to reach the cause of the ringing, but all he did was hurt himself.
“Anyway...”
He opened the restroom door and walked out slowly, silently, surely, ignoring the ringing. He was like a ninja, gliding through the shadows without his feet even touching the floor.
“Luckily the toilet is on the first floor, otherwise they would have suspected the people on the third floor directly.”
The sound kept getting louder as he went, holding his breath when he felt the slightest vibration.
It took him two minutes to cover a distance that would have taken thirty seconds at most, but the result was successful, he reached his room without anyone noticing.
He called out to Yurine to check if she was asleep, and she was still asleep. So she hadn't even realized she had left the room.
“Mission completed.”
***
An hour had passed after breakfast. Yu had nothing to do, so he tried to pass the time by playing chess with Yurine.
"What's worse? Using a straw instead of toilet paper or not having internet?"
If he were in his own world right now, he would probably spend his time studying or watching videos on his phone.
Given his low motivation during his last summer on first world, it would have been more likely that he would have chosen to watch videos on YouTube instead of studying.
But there was not much he could do here. He knew that other people worked all day, but he couldn't find anything to do.
The world history lessons he had taken from Yurine had ended quickly because she had a superficial knowledge of the subject, and he had read most of the important history books in Rolderhelm's public library.
Apart from history and geography, there was not much else he could learn because Yu believed he was better at the positive sciences than anyone else in the world.
“I don't know what good knowing physics and biology will do me in this world, though I don't use them much in my normal life outside of classes. I can't learn magic stuff either... Foreign languages? Maybe I can get into those. There was a language called Aramish.”
Aramish, along with Rolderish, was one of the most widely spoken languages in the world and was named after the Aram Empire on the continent of Aram.
“I'll keep that on my mind and I'll look at it later.”
Since the Second World was not as “global” as the First World had been, learning a language might not do him much good, but he was sure it would be better than idleness.
“I have to write it all down so I don't forget the information in my head. Ah... I wonder if I can find the anatomy of different creatures.”
He was excited by the idea of a biology book in which he also studied the creatures of this world.
“I've never looked into it, but it could be that my predecessors passed on the positive sciences. Yes, I found something to pass the time.”
The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.
But he still had the problem of not having internet. When he was bored with studying or writing, he couldn't relax by spending time on the internet.
He wanted to do fun activities with Yurine, but he didn't think she would let him swing her in the park or play hide and seek with him.
“And if we play hide and seek, won't she find me right away? No, she won't.”
He had thought Yurine could sense mana and find him in hide and seek, but Yu had no mana, she couldn't sense where he was.
“That would be a fairer game than the one we're playing now.”
The only game Yurine agreed to play was chess. She said that she had played chess with her mother a couple of times and had made assertive remarks against Yu, but she was no good at the game.
“If you go there, I'll eat you.”
“What? What are you saying? Why are you eating me?”
“You're so sweet - I mean... I'll take your rock.”
He had made a blunder on purpose to embarrass Yurine, but she blushed and focused on the game board instead of entertaining Yu.
“You were talking about giving me an advance.”
“You tricked me, you didn't say you knew how to play.”
“Hmm, so you agreed to play because you thought you could beat me. How cruel of you, Yurine.” Yu chuckled. “But I didn't say I didn't know how to play, it was your fault for ignoring my brilliant mind and assuming I didn't know how to play.”
His older sisters had taught him chess when he was in first grade, and from then on Yu played the game like a maniac to show off to his older sisters how great he could be.
He had memorized all the modern theories, had taken online courses, and had won several first prizes in competitions in elementary and high school.
“What are you going to achieve by playing that pawn there? You're looking in the wrong place, look at your king. I'm going to attack him soon.”
“But then I can't eat your stone.”
“You can't eat, but your king takes precedence.”
When Yu didn't turn out to be a bad player as she expected, Yurine got bored and dropped out of the game. Apparently she didn't like games she couldn't win.
“Well, I can't say anything about that. I don't like to play games I can't win either.”
Even if the games he played were small and insignificant, they became a matter of pride for Yu and he was hurt when he lost. So he avoided games with a high probability of losing.
“But if intelligence is involved, I win most games, hehe.”
As he picked up his queen to make his next move, he felt a warm breath in his ear.
“Are you playing chess?”
The voice and breath of an alluring elf made Yu shiver.
“Come on, I'm the guy with the ear-licking ASMR fetish, we'll get burned.”
If Lucie whispered in Yu's ear all day, Yu was ready to listen without lifting a finger.
“Yes, is it a game you like?”
“I learned it at some point, but I can't claim to be very good. Of course, my sister is different, she plays chess very well.”
“Maybe I'll offer her a match sometime, I don't think there's anyone in the world who plays better than me, but it would be fun to be forced to think a little bit.”
“You're very assertive.” Lucie sat next to Yu. Their shoulders were touching. “Yurine seems to be in a bit of a pickle.”
“Hmph, I'm just playing for fun. If I played seriously, the result would be very different.”
Yurine made an excuse for her inevitable defeat and when Yu drew the first king that would lead her to mate, she knocked over the pieces with both hands.
“Congratulations Yurine, I think I'll need an advance next time.”
“Bullshit.”
Yurine turned her head and looked out the window. Seeing that their game was over, Lucie turned her head to him and interrupted.
“There's something I want to ask you.”
Because their shoulders were close enough to touch, their faces were close enough to feel each other's breath.
“What are you going to ask?”
“Uh... The toilet is clogged, did you see who used it last night?”
“Is this a fucking trick question?” His brain started thinking quickly. “Someone could have seen me and told Lucie that I was using the restroom. In that case, I'd say Lucie must have thought she could catch me off guard when she approached me, but Lucie is always like that with me, and I'm pretty sure no one saw me. She can't have an ulterior motive right now.”
“No? Why?” He pretended not to know.
“Some animal somehow managed to clog the toilet.”
“Isn't that a little rude?”
He had never heard Lucie speak rudely. It was the first time he had heard her talk like that and it was against him.
“These are uncivilized people who have not learned to live in society,” Yu said. “Animals.”
Lucie nodded. “Seriously, we give them food, clean water, a place to sleep, but look what they do.”
“And I bet he's looking at our faces and laughing inside.”
“Isn't it? That's what pisses me off the most.” Lucie spoke heatedly, her breath constantly hitting Yu's face. “Maybe he's the guy we face every day, but he's an animal. The idiot also stuck the broom in the toilet bowl and broke it, we can't get it out... Ouch...”
Lucie rested her head on Yu's shoulder, exhausted. Yu heard her take a deep breath.
“Is she fucking sniffing me?”
“I didn't want to talk to you about something like this, can we pretend we never talked?”
“Mission completed, man, mission completed. No one suspects me. Of course they don't, of course no one would think that a humble gentleman like me would do such a thing! Like a wise man once said, fear the silent one.”
He was proud of his success. There was no sign of happiness or stress on his face, it was completely natural.
“Fine by me.”
Lucie lifted her head from his shoulder and looked into Yu's eyes. After staring for a moment, she turned her eyes out the window.
“Well, Mr. Valarfin, well... I'm free today-”
“Uh... I'm bored." Yurine suddenly interrupted Lucie. "I'm bored, I want to go out, let's go check with the adventurer's guild to see if there's any news from those idiots.”
“Sure. Do you mind if we stop by a clothing store on the way?”
“Why?”
“Because I thought a cape would look really cool on me.”
This morning, as he stood in front of the mirror with the blanket thrown over his shoulders, the idea of buying a cloak came to him.
"Why is it that in everything else you say we should save money, we should spend our money carefully, but when it comes to you, you don't hesitate to spend money? I won't let you waste money."
"I'm not wasting money, I'm investing in myself."
“No! Pick up those pieces and let's go.”
Yu stood up and stretched. He kept one eye on Lucie as he started to put the chess pieces in the box.
“What were you going to say?”
Of course he understood what she was going to say, she was simply going to ask him out.
“N-nothing... Never mind.”
“Are you sure?”
When Lucie lowered her green eyes in disappointment, Yu felt bad, he didn't want to upset her.
“It was nothing, I'll tell you when you're free.”
Yu shook his head. He felt sorry for upsetting her.
***
“You seem a little jealous of me...”
“Huh, where did that come from?”
“I don't know, interrupting Lucie when she was about to ask me for a date... You don’t want to share your daddy with someone else?”
“SHUT UP!”
Yurine leaped forward, took a few steps and left Yu behind. Her tail swished at a speed that was hard to follow.
“If I have to be honest,” Yu said and look at his ring finger. “I’d like to marry with her. Having a wife and children seems great to me. But you know, she is an elf. She will stay young while I’ll getting old. Even I really really really want to have an elf anime girl waifu, it’s not fair for her.”
In Second World, races are really different. Even if international relationships can be tolerated a bit, interracial relationships are not healthy. An elf’s body can’t age easily, a dwarf’s body full of hair, harpies laying eggs, which means they couldn’t mate with humans. Most healthy one seemed elf and human relationship but still it wasn’t as good as it sounds.
Lucie thought it would be wonderful to be with Yu now, but when Yu became an old man and could no longer satisfy his wife, she would realize the mistake she had made and, at best, wait for Yu to die.
“Wait a minute!” A truth revealed to him. “Half of a harpy’s body is bird, half of a mermaid’s body is fish, that means they don’t have a vagina, they have a cloaca. And even gorgons! Because of their half-snake body, they have only a cloaca. If you have sex with one of them, it means you are having anal sex. Aphrodit didn’t just make her a snake, but also banned her from vaginal sex.”
Yurine was the first to enter the adventurers' guild as she was ahead, Yu didn't want to leave her inside alone so he sped up and grabbed her by the shoulders when he caught up.
“Stay with me.”
The Guild was the most crowded it had ever been. In the center of the guild, many adventurers were celebrating, clinking their goblets together and singing.
“I don't like people singing in public.”
Although he had a beautiful voice and the ability to sing, he didn't like it when others sang. He listened to songs on the internet, but it made him uncomfortable to hear it in real life.
“I think it's because I can't shut them up when I want to.”
He ignored their singing and walked towards the reception desk.
“Good afternoon,” he greeted the receptionist with a raised hand.
“Good afternoon, how can I help you?”
“We were expecting a letter. It should be addressed to Yu Valarfin. Guild number two eight six eight.”
The receptionist was sitting in a chair with wheels underneath. Supported by the desk, he pushed himself back and turned around in the chair to stand in front of a cabinet with small drawers.
With the key from his pocket, he unlocked a drawer labeled twenty-eight, pulled the drawer out and started rummaging inside.
“There are two letters, one from Red Chapel and one from the Wizarding Academy.”
The receptionist handed the envelopes to Yu.
“Thank you.” He took the envelopes and went to the nearest empty table and opened the letter from Redchapel first. “Sivina sent their home address, nothing else.” Then he opened the letter from Maron Martin and began to read it.
“What did he write,” Yurine asked.
“He wrote something that he claimed would get us out of the city.”
Yu didn't think that Maron Martin would actually give such a reference. It would be great if this letter really helped them get out of the city.
“It was the right decision to come here. You should be grateful to have a great being like me by your side. If it wasn't for me, you would never have gotten the letter because you would have been fooling around with that girl. Yes, you should be thankful.”
Puffing out his chest, she took the letter from Yu's hand and began to examine it.
“Where do we take this now?”
“To be honest, I thought things like travel bans were issued by the courts, so I was surprised when Floy was the one who said we couldn't leave the city.”
He had never had much to do with the courts in the world. His knowledge of law was limited to history lessons and what he had heard and seen.
“Since Floy is the one who gave us the punishment, I say we take the letter to him, and if we need to take it somewhere else, he will tell us where to take it.”
***
“You again?”
"To be honest, I don't want to come here either.” It was the third time they had been in Floy's office, and Headcommissar Floy was tired of seeing them. “I came here today to bring this letter, to get the travel ban lifted.”
Floy took the envelope Yu handed him and opened it.
“Holy shit, how did you convince Mr. Martin to write this? Did he really send it?”
Floy's mouth hung open in astonishment, he didn't think that two ordinary people could get a reference from someone important.
“What do you think bitch...”
Floy was turning the letter over and over, trying to make sure it was true.
“Yes, he did. He gave us a job, and if we don't get out of the city, we won't be able to get it done.”
“Look, copying signatures is a serious crime. Did he really send this?”
“How low is our level of credibility in your eyes? Yes, this letter was sent by Maron Martin himself.”
The letter must have been more important than Yu had imagined.
“Can we get out of the city now?”
“Do you have a court date yet? Did they send a letter to where you are staying?”
“How will they know where we stay? I don't remember giving residence anywhere.”
He did not live in a specific house, but in an inn that he could change at any time.
“Go to the palace of justice and find out when the court date is. I hope the court date hasn't passed, because if it had, the guards would have already found you and taken you to the court by force. Once you know the date, you can act accordingly.”
“So... Can we leave the city?”
“You can leave tomorrow.”