Yu: Tomorrow morning the ship will arrive at the Port of İlonya.
He took the storybook Lylphia had given Yurine as a gift and got into bed. After Yu got into bed, Yurine straightened the pillows and pulled the comforter over her legs to lean back.
Yurine: Pick a good story.
Yu: All the stories I tell are good.
Even though Yurine could read and write, she liked it when Yu read to her. Yu opened the book and went through the pages he had read before and came to one of the stories that was also in his world.
Yu: Snow White is here too? Well, then get ready to hear Yu Valarfin's version of the story, which is at least ten times more wonderful.
Snow Cardinal and the Seven Nekos
Once upon a time, in the days of Yurine Neko, before the most wonderful man in the world came here, there lived a beautiful Cardinal.
The Cardinal's eyes were a fiery red and his hair was white like snow. That's why people called her the Snow Cardinal and everyone loved her very much.
But the woman who was the Snow Cardinal's mother was a bit stupid, and after she became a widow, she started to burn with horniness. “I want a husband, I need a husband, I need a husband, I need a husband, I need a husband, I need a husband tonight,” she was eating herself up.
Finally the people in the palace couldn't take it anymore, because the queen was walking up and down, they said, “This can't be done like this, this country has a dignity,” and they arranged for the king of the lower country to meet this queen.
And the king of the lower country was a strange, crazy man. Anyway, only an idiot like him would look at this queen, but anyway, this guy would walk in front of the mirror every day and talk to the mirror saying, “Mirror, mirror, tell me: is there anyone more beautiful than me in this world?” Crazy maniac.
---
Yurine: Wait a minute, isn't it supposed to be the queen? Why would the king say that?
Yu: The king is metrosexual.
Yurine: Yu, what does metrosexual mean?
Yu: Underground faggot.
---
The mirror, being a characterless suck-up, would inflate this faggot's ego every day by saying, “Yes, my king, you are the most beautiful, my king.”
One day, when Snow Cardinal was passing by this mirror by chance, didn't the mirror see Snow Cardinal? “Woow,” mirror said, “Wooow... If this Snow Cardinal is human, what the hell am I?”
On the night of that day, the underground faggot came and asked, “Mirror mirror, tell me, is there anyone more beautiful than me in this world?”
And the mirror said, “There is Snow Cardinal, dude.”
Okay, the mirror is a suck-up, but he knows his job, he couldn't call the man with gray ass hair more beautiful than the beautiful Snow Cardinal.
When the king heard this, he got angry and said, “The girl who will be Snow will come here!”
Snow Cardinal realized that things were not going well and ran away from the palace. But the king would not let her go, he hired a witch and sent her after the girl.
The witch found our Snow in the forest, she looked at her... She was like a book, like a drink of water. The witch was also a woman, but Snow Cardinal was such a thing that she made her question her sexual preferences.
In short, the witch couldn't spare her, she said, “Here, you can have my heart, beautiful girl,” and gave her heart to Snow Cardinal, Snow accepted it as okay and continued to wander in the forest.
Snow found a house while traveling in the forest, entered the house, looked inside, and saw seven plates on a table inside. Then voices started coming from outside.
“We are the seven Neko, a giant with fourteen legs.”
Snow Cardinal looked outside and saw seven sweet, sweet Neko coming from outside, she could not stand it and showed herself.
---
Yurine: Yu, why don't you tell it like it is, it says dwarf.
Yu: Don't be silly, what's Rie doing in the same house with seven men? We're not wokist.
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Yurine: How do you know dwarves are men? And why is Snow Cardinal my mom?!
Yu: Yurine, every time this story is told, dwarves are men. Besides, Rie is my waifu, of course she's going to play Snow Cardinal.
Yurine: I feel like this story is going to ridiculous places.
---
Both the Nekos and Snow Cardinal loved each other very much and started living together in their sweet little house in the forest.
Anyway, this faggot king kept asking the mirror who was the most beautiful. The mirror managed for a while, but finally he couldn't stand this faggot and blurted out, “Who the hell are you when there is Snow Cardinal?”
The king got mad, of course, and said, “Come on, blind man, see for yourself,” he went into the forest in disguise and caught Snow Cardinal alone at home while the Nekos were at work.
“I brought you an apple, my dear,” said the king, disguised as an old woman, to the beautiful Snow Cardinal.
Snow Cardinal said, “Oh, I must immediately take the apple given by this strange and frightening stranger and eat it.”
And she took the apple and went inside, and the faggot king, thinking that Snow was going to die, ran back to his castle, tapping his heels on his ass to ask the mirror who was the most beautiful.
When the Nekos arrived, what did they see? Oh my, oh my... woe is us, Snow Cardinal is lying on the ground with the cap of an apple stuck in her throat. If they gave her two blows on her back, she would come to her senses, but they didn't think of that, they put her in a glass coffin and left her in front of their house.
Just then, a man emerged from the sea, smelling the scent of the waifu in distress.
---
Yurine: Aren't we in the forest, what about the sea?
Yu: I'll take care of that when I edit, don't worry about that part.
---
His wet brown hair increased his sexiness by ten million percent, while his violet eyes made girls fall in love with just one look. The prince's shoulders were dripping with sea water as the sunlight licked his white skin.
“Don’t worry, I am the prince,” he said.
Nekos were already canceled the moment they saw the prince. They ran away from the glass coffin, the prince opened the lid of the coffin with one hand and looked at Snow Cardinal.
“This woman has an apple crust stuck in her throat, she needs to be vacuumed,” he said.
Then he stuck to her lips.
---
Yurine: WHAWHAWHAT! WHY ARE YOU KISSING MY MOM! YOU PERVERT! WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING!
Yu: To heal her, of course! Should I have just left her there? Don't hit me please!
Yu crawled under the covers to protect himself from Yurine's blows, but Yurine continued to punch him.
Yu: Okay, I'm sorry. I'll tell you something different this time.
Yurine: No kissing!
Yu: And at the end of it, Snow Cardinal is saved and she and the prince live happily ever after. Let's see what else… I found it, how does Sleeping Cardinal sound?
Yurine: Tell without being nasty.
Yu Valarfin Edition is next in line to tell the tale.
SLEEPING CARDINAL
Once upon a time, when Yurine was still Neko, when the greatest man in the world had not yet arrived, she became the daughter of a king.
The king was so happy to have a daughter, he immediately had a baby shower. And he invited her friends and stuff.
They came to the castle, there were cakes, chocolates, fruit juices and so on and so forth, and this king had one enemy, a guy named Ton. This Ton came and said, “Wow,” he said, “You didn't invite me, but I know how to make you pay for this shame, and now I'm going to curse you.”
They said, “Don't do it, don't do it,” and tried to throw him away, but they couldn't silence him. The man said: “When this girl turns twenty, she will get a needle in her foot, then she will fall asleep.”
---
Yurine: Yu, it says ‘hand’ here.
Yu: Sorry, I misread it because I was sleepy.
---
The man said: “When this girl turns twenty, she'll get a needle in her hand, then she'll fall asleep.”
Then they impaled the man, of course, who can curse the king's daughter?
Anyway, the king said: “Let me see a single needle in this kingdom, and I'll put those needles in each of your hands...”
When the vizier heard this, he made a fuss and had all the needles in the kingdom collected.
The girl grew up, she was shorter than me, with a thin waist, a pretty face, white hair and red eyes.
One day this girl found a room in the castle while wandering around, “Let me go into this room and see what's in it...” she said and went in.
And the king put all the needles he had collected in that room, what luck.
Then a needle fell on the floor and pricked the foot of this beautiful princess...
---
Yurine: Yu, you read it wrong again.
Yu: Sorry, I'm sleepy.
---
When a needle pricked the princess's hand, she fell asleep.
The king said: “Okay, she's our daughter and all, but the story needs to move forward, let's leave her in a cave and run away.”
And they left a note on the girl, “This is the Sleeping Cardinal, may the prince who finds it be grateful.”
And what do you think happened? They left the girl, and in the morning and evening, a magnificent prince with such seductive purple eyes, brown hair waving in the wind, intelligent, charismatic, agile, handsome, hardworking, handsome, hardworking and handsome came and found the Sleeping Cardinal.
He saw a very beautiful cardinal and said, “I will make this woman my waifu.”
As I said, he was smart, he immediately realized that the needle in her hand was poisonous. Then he sucked the poison out of her hand and woke up the Sleeping Cardinal.
When the Sleeping Cardinal saw the prince who saved her, she fell in love at first sight, then they got married, had lots of children and lived happily ever after.
---
Yu: Look, no kissing.
Yurine: You, why are you suddenly obsessed with my mom?
She was calm this time, giving Yu a chance to explain himself.
Yu: You know, I can't live single forever. That's why I need a waifu, and since I saved the princess, I thought I'd take advantage of it.
Yurine grabbed Yu by the ear and pulled him down. But she did it slowly enough not to hurt him.
Yurine: I support the part about saving her, but don’t keep your nose in the air. I'll decide what happens afterwards.
Yu: Okay.
She put down the storybook and blew on the candle next to her to put out the fire as she adjusted the pillows and pulled the comforter completely over her.
Yu: Good night.
Yurine: Yu, good night.