Chapter 9

Going So Well

I made my way through the forest headed toward the faint fishy smell, and a bit north. Tapping my staff on the ground with my steps as I moved at a fast walk through the forest. It was strange, I felt like using the staff as a walking stick made it kind of… happy. That's what the slight sense of presence I felt from it seemed to indicate anyway. I didn't think much about it.

I had thought about running to save time, but my instincts flatly denied that idea. They expressed to me a feeling of danger coming from moving too quickly in unknown territory. I stretched its tolerance by walking as fast as I was.

After what I judged to be about two hours I slowed. I was starting to feel undeniably hungry, my belly empty in a way that the mana I was snacking on didn't fill. I was planning on ignoring it till I got to the river. I could smell it much more strongly now, but it was still distant enough that I couldn't convince myself to tough out the hunger pangs till I got there. Not when my instincts were bringing the scents of the wildlife around me into my awareness with such clarity. They smelled so delectable, I swallowed some saliva to keep from drooling when I considered them. A small quiet part of me that lived in the back of my head thought it was pretty disgusting to think about eating an animal raw. But that part was quickly shunted to the side. I was hungry, and my instincts were singing loudly in my ears.

Maybe I could have resisted them, but I had been relying on them so much to find my way that I had practically given them the wheel.

I paused for a moment to pick out a scent to focus on. When I decided on a target I became laser focused on the idea of the hunt.

The memories of the past hunts of the young mana beast played in my head. I knew exactly what to do, and how to talk to the mana like he had then.

I reached out to some nearby shadow mana, and carefully connected with it, asking it for its help concealing me. Shadows flowed over me, they didn't coat me in blackness, but moved around me in varying degrees of darkness. Some of which spread to the area around me.

I connected with the air mana, very careful not to get swept away in its intense joy at being contacted. I asked it to help move my scent away from my prey. I also gave it the idea of preventing sound waves from traveling through the air around me. The first request was accomplished easily. The second made it ask me for help. It was fine playing the game of stop the noise, but it couldn't do it without more energy. I funneled a bit of my mana to it, maybe a quarter of my total, to be sure. I'd eat enough to recover it later.

When it started working all sound abruptly cut off, nothing reached me, nothing came from me. It wasn't the best situation, the air mana had rendered me effectively deaf, but it was exactly what I asked for. I would have to come up with a better solution for stealth. But for now it was fine. I thanked the mana around me and asked for it to keep doing what it was doing.

Air was fine, I was already funding it. Shadow wanted more energy to maintain my cover if I was going to be moving. So through my connection with it, I sent it another quarter of my mana. It was probably excessive mana use, and it made me feel much, much more hungry. But outside of that dream of the mana beast's life, I had never been hunting.

My instincts were in overdrive at that point, the silence put me on red alert. I used my other senses to the world around me constantly. I began stalking towards my prey, a breeze provided by the air mana blowing its scent right to me. The shadows around me shifted as needed to disguise my movement. It felt like mere moments later that I found my prey. A large buck, food for several days at least if this realm and everything in it wasn't going to disappear in.. 21 and a half? hours now. It would be a waste, but this creature probably wasn't even real, so I didn't let it bother me.

I stalked around behind it, moving slowly and carefully, even with magical assistance. When it leaned its head down to nibble at something on the forest floor I leapt onto its back. The claws of my free hand, and my feet dug into it. Clinging to it, as it tried to dart out from under me. Instinct told me to bite it, but instead. I slammed it in the head with the now thorn covered end of my staff.

It collapsed to the ground under me, lifeless. Its skull caved in from the impact of my staff. It was pretty grisly to my old human senses. But my old human senses were pretty far in the back seat. Instinct ruled. I ate well, filling my stomach. I lost myself in the flavor of it. I savored every morsel. When I was pleasantly full I licked my fur clean. When I retrieved my staff from where I had let it fall next to the carcass I licked it clean too.

I wanted to nap after a successful hunt. But I was able to push my instincts aside before I ended up curled up on the ground. The human part of me, again tried to tell me I should be disgusted by all this. But I pushed it off. Everything screamed at me in the moment that this was my life now. I was not her, I would never be her again. The buck had tasted every bit as good as my instincts had told me it would.

I thanked the mana for its help, and told it that it could stop. The air mana seemed sad, and offered to help me feel less tired. It wanted me to move and run with it. I let it do what it wanted but sent that I wasn't going to be running. The mana sank into me, I felt the joy of it, as it expended itself to fuel me, I almost lost myself to it, but I managed to hold back.

After a moment the sense of the mana disappeared, and I did feel more awake. I was still suffering from having gorged myself on that buck, though, my stomach was actually distended, it was so full of meat. I started walking toward the river again, at a more sedate pace. I regretted giving in to the instinct to gorge when food was available. My instincts insisted that you never knew when hunting would turn bad, so you should make the most of what was there, feasting on any meal like it could be your last. I grumbled at myself, it obviously wasn't just mana that I was in danger of losing myself to.

By the time I reached the river another hour had passed, leaving me at roughly twenty hours remaining. I really hoped my judgment of time was accurate.

I sat down on the riverbank wanting a moment's rest. I wasn't tired, but there's a reason you want to nap after a big meal. I wasn't completely idle though, I turned on mana sense.

I watched streaks of blue, some sped along slightly above the river, but most of the mana moved with the currents of the river.

When I reached out to it, I noticed a taste that wasn't really taste so much as a sensation. Water mana was like a cool glass of water on a hot day.

The feelings I got from it were interesting, I had felt hints that there were maybe other states to the mana I contacted. This one seemed to be, pardon my pun, fluid. It was moving right now, flowing with great speed down the river, and it was totally focused on getting where the river went. But I got the feeling that stillness was something it was fine with as well. It would go with the flow, moving with intensity when it got going. Resting silent and unmoving when it found the right place.

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As I sat, I couldn't help but notice that I was still rather filthy from my hunt, my clothes were covered in stains. It occurred to me that I could just dismiss the clothes, so I did, but the rest of me needed a good wash. When I looked at the river I noticed how fast the water was flowing. I knew how to swim as my old self, quite well,, actually. But with my new, heavier, fur covered frame I just wasn't sure I wanted to test myself in a current like that.

I came up with a lovely idea to get clean, and get some practice talking with the water mana. My core was completely recovered from what I spent on the hunt, so mana use wasn't any sort of worry for me.

I stood up, took off my mostly clean leather pack, and set my staff next to it, leaving them on some rocks, before walking some distance downriver. I then reached out a strand of my personal mana and asked the water mana to redirect some of the flow. I wanted it to send water directly at me, and I was specific that I wanted only pure water. I pictured it spraying me like a shower head. The mana requested some energy. I gave it maybe an eighth of my pool.

I did not get a shower, I was knocked on my ass by a torrent of water. The water just kept coming, pummeling me from above as it flowed from the river arcing in the air to land on me. I desperately reached for the water mana asking it to stop. Inadvertently connecting directly in my panic. The mana flowed into my mind, and reacted to my desire.

The flow cut off. I laid in the mud and sputtered for a moment. But I had a goal, I needed to get clean, and now I was the opposite of clean. I was covered in mud. I had to get it off me, my goal was to get clean. The river would clean me, so I jumped in heedless of the fact that the current was carrying me downstream. I scrubbed at my fur as best as I could. The water mana, knowing my goal, tried its best to help. The course of the water changed to spiral around me, the force of it pulled me under, but I didn't mind at all. I held my breath, my entire mind was focused only on my original goal when I contacted the mana. I needed to be clean.

When I was finally clean of mud, a small amount of clarity reached my mind. I had a new, rather urgent goal. I needed to get air. The water launched me out, to land in a heap, on a grassy part of the riverbank. I vaguely felt some pain from the landing, but it was unimportant. I shook myself off like a dog. The water mana heard my desire to be dry, and the water flowed from my fur. I sat there, basking in the joy of a task completed.

I'm not sure how long I sat there, just connected to the mana, and feeling content. In the back of my mind something poked lightly at my consciousness. I was missing something important. I felt my staff, upstream, and on the other side of the river. I had to get to my staff! I ran down the riverbank as fast as my legs could carry me. When I was across the river from my staff, I judged the distance too far for even my new body to jump. So I jumped right back into the river, and swam for the other side. The river itself moved to assist me, and once again ejected me onto land. I landed on some rocks near my staff, it was a terrible place to land. I felt pain only dimly in the state I was in, I had to see my goal to the end. My right leg didn't work right anymore, it was bent wrong, and so was my right arm. I completely ignored it as I crawled on the rocks to grab my staff. Once I had my staff in hand, the pain became central in my mind. I realized I was quite badly injured, I knew how to fix that, but it meant separating my mind from the water mana's hold. With that goal, separating was easily accomplished, I groaned.

Water mana was, it seemed, pretty dangerous to lose yourself to. Tears of pain fell down my sopping wet cheeks as I took in my sorry state. I was clean, except for the rock dust. But bruised all over, my right arm, and leg were broken, from my hard landing onto the rocks, along with, from the feel of it, several ribs.

My mana was full. It seemed like losing yourself to the mana had some advantages. Which was good, because I was going to have to go lose myself to the life mana again.

I hoped I wouldn't try to become a tree this time.

I grabbed my pack, and hung it by one strap, on my uninjured side. Then I pushed myself up, leaning hard on my staff with my good arm, and limped towards the nearest tree. When I got there I slumped down against it, and called the life mana to me for healing. I won't describe the experience in full this time, as it was much the same. It wasn't a tree that captured my attention, of all the things to choose from in the mix biome, I became enraptured with the life of a ram on what I discovered to be a mountain to the south. I spent a lot of time living inside various members of a large herd. It took quite a lot of time for me to remember that I should pull myself away. When I finally managed it I saw that I was healed, but my head itched a little bit. I scratched at the itchy bits and some fur fell out. My stomach clenched. I touched the spot with my fingertips, and there was a hard nub there. I had changed again while connected to the life mana, this time it was definitely more than a couple points in a stat. I wished Dux was here so I could ask him to look me over. I couldn't see anything else.

Why a ram you ask? Because it looked like fun? They were climbing all up and down the cliffs, nimble and sure-footed, unlike yours truly. It also felt like there was something special about them. They shined brighter than all the other creatures around.

The horns were an unwanted addition, I was already a freakishly large cat man. How would people react if they saw horns too? It was done, and despite my thoughts, my instincts told me it was a very good thing. I needed to see if I could figure out how to quickly heal myself without connecting to the web of life like that.

I took a moment to check my status for changes.

Name Angel

Race : Spirit Beast

Level : 6

Class : Adventurer (Wild Mage)

Str 25 Con 23

Agi 21 Dex 16

Int 30 Wis 28

Per 42 Cha 12

So, yep there were changes. Not anything I could complain about there. One extra point in agility dexterity and another extra point in constitution. I had the momentary thought that letting life mana run wild had turned out pretty well for me both times I did it. But I rubbed the tiny nub of a horn I had grown, and wondered if some part of me I hadn't noticed had turned to wood. It was still something I should do very sparingly because maybe next time I would come out with something more extreme.

I wondered if demihumans had mixed breeds, could I explain away the nubby horns? Could I make them go away with shape changing? My instincts said no. I would try later anyway, meanwhile I had just wasted a lot of time. I looked at the sky. I think it had been morning when my time in the realm started. Now the sun was high in the sky. I had fucked-if-I-know hours left. Just great.

Looking on the bright side, I met some new mana. I'd even used it without losing myself, until I panicked. I consoled myself that it was a good lesson, and while I was connected to everything I had located some clay not too far upstream from me.

I walked to rocks that I had broken myself on and found a loose rock larger than my head. I looked around until I found some earth mana. Then I picked up the rock and carried it over. I somehow knew the earth mana could do what I asked. But it was outside its nature, so it would probably cost me a goodly amount of mana. I reached out anyway, giving it two requests to choose from. It could manifest a rock in the shape of a pot with handles, or break off the parts of the rock in front of me that it needed to, to reach that shape.

Unlike mana requests I'd gotten from the different elements before where they seemed reluctant to ask anything of me, the earth mana was demanding. And it was specific, it wanted half of the mana I had in my core. I also got the feeling from it that it did not actually need that much to do the job, but I should be happy it liked me, because otherwise it would ask for everything I had. I could feel that it was not something I could argue with, so I paid for it.

The Earth mana in the area slowly collected into the space in front of me, solidifying itself into a white stone pot shaped like I requested. The process took, perhaps 20 minutes. I waited patiently, idly rubbing my new horns. They still kind of itched. The horns on the rams I had watched were massive spirals, I really hoped that these little nubs would stay undeveloped. My instincts were weirdly insistent in trying to make me feel like it would be good if they grew.

When the pot was finished, I picked it up. It felt pretty heavy, but entirely manageable for me. I strolled upriver to the clay deposit I had seen, and filled the pot with the stuff. The stone pot was too heavy to carry around if I had an alternative. I scooped some water into the pot with the clay using my hands and a gentle, careful request to the water mana to keep it from flowing between my cupped fingers.

That concluded I made for the volcano. I thought I should get to know fire mana next. I had the idea that I could use it and earth mana to make the clay into an actually serviceable pot. I thought I remembered something about mixing volcanic ash with clay too. I'd try it when I got there. I probably didn't have to get it right, I fully planned on cheating with magic.

I picked up my clay filled pot with one hand, and my staff with the other, and marched off toward the scent of sulfur.