Midway through eating my second meal, I started slowing down. I didn't feel any less empty, but I felt an internal stress building up. To my great shame, I didn't even consider stopping.

As I pushed more and more food into my mouth, I felt something shift inside me. The sense of pressure disappeared, only to be replaced by an unsettling awareness of the mana in the meat as it moved through my body. The whole thing was entirely uncomfortable, it didn't stop me from eating the rest of the meat in front of me.

When I was finished, I was filled with regret, and worm meat, but mostly regret. It, of course, did nothing to sate my Concept induced hunger, and I felt awful. I was overcome by a sluggish, heavy feeling, even my thoughts seemed clouded. I also got some mental warnings from the System about limited access to Assume Form. I wasn't allowed to shift to anything smaller than my current form until my meal was digested or otherwise removed, it was apparently some sort of failsafe.

The warning gave no indication how long that would take. As much as I'd stuffed myself before, it had never been this much. I remembered stuffing myself to the point where I felt the need to nap after my class change, but for some reason this felt very different. Perhaps it was because it was my true form, perhaps it was just how much mana had come in with the meat. It was probably the second one.

I stretched my body, trying to get over the sensations that were assaulting me when I heard a snort.

"So when are you due?" Pierce asked, before breaking down laughing.

I sent him an angry glare, I didn't doubt that a normal person would have been quite scared. Pierce laughed harder.

His amusement at my condition radiated from him through our still existent link. Ivo wasn't amused though, he was concerned, and a little exasperated with Pierce. There was a clang as he slapped the man in the back of his helmet with his gauntleted hand.

"Enough of that."

I couldn't see the look on Pierce's face, but it felt like it would have been precious. I could feel a mix of shame, and guilt as he seemed to realize that there might be a cause for concern with my current state.

"I'm okay, it's one of those consequences I told you about. It's temporary, but I'll have to cope with it for a couple weeks. I'm not sure I can stop eating once I start right now."

"You're still hungry, I can feel it. It's like a constant hum in the background of your emotions. I thought you just needed to eat a lot, since you're so big. That's not it though, is it? That seems like a terrible curse."

"A curse that gets stronger the more people know about it. I really can't explain how it works, but not thinking about it is the best way you can help with it. Well, that and maybe helping me stop before I get this far. I really don't feel well at the moment."

"I don't imagine you do. Does this have to do with that other thing that I am trying very hard not to think about right now?"

I nodded.

"I feel like we should talk about something else then."

I nodded again.

"Wait, what the hell? What are you two talking about, and why does it make you feel anxious?" The heartwarming feelings of concern Pierce emanated for Ivo were a little spoiled by a sudden distrustful anger pointed at me

.

"Oh, trust me, it's something better forgotten. Angel simply told me something he didn't know counted as restricted knowledge. It was nothing malicious, and it seems to have grown less restricted to me over time. You can understand why I hesitate to share what it is, but I'm thinking about it now, and it doesn't seem to hurt."

"Mage shit?"

"It does seem to be their kind of thing."

"Well, okay then. Let's talk about what happened during the fight."

I groaned, and lowered my head. "I panicked. The worms didn't act like I expected, and I didn't know what to do."

"That much is obvious, cat. I could feel your little panic attack loud and clear. Do you know what to do next time?" Pierce's voice was gruff, and full of condescension, but I felt something entirely different through the link. He was disappointed with my actions, but he was also concerned for me.

"Look to you two for help?"

Ivo interrupted whatever it was Pierce was about to say, his voice was much more gentle. "Exactly. You need to trust us. I know we haven't really worked together before, not really, but when you're on a team, you need to have them in mind whenever you act."

I nodded. "I know, I should have already known that, but I wasn't thinking."

"Ha! That's pretty clear. Do better tomorrow. I don't wanna chase you around like that again. You're one fast fucker when you wanna be, you know? I'm all strength and constitution, my agility can barely keep up. Never really needed to worry about it after Ivo and I paired up, his ability to control the monsters means I mostly just have to hit things real hard."

"At least you have more than me, I could barely keep track of Angel bouncing around like that. This fight showed me that I will need to invest in more perception and agility moving forward."

If you spot this tale on Amazon, know that it has been stolen. Report the violation.

"Putting your points into something other than charisma? That'll be a first." I could feel the untruth through my Concept, I could also feel the sly amusement coming from the tyrant. It was obvious that there was some history there.

"It's a class stat and you know it!" I watched as Pierce easily dodged Ivo's repeated attempts to hit him in the back of the helmet.

I cocked my head to the side. "Is there something wrong with putting points in charisma?"

Pierce snorted. "Not if you're okay with people knowing you're a bit vain. Most people put a few points in it, at least get it up to fifty. It keeps the wrinkles and spots at bay when you get older if you hit that milestone early. But adventurers usually don't. We have better things to spend our free points on."

Ivo shrugged. "Charisma is part of my class, it doesn't quite work the same for me as it does for normal people. It seems to mostly enhance my ability to affect emotions. It also helps me process them slightly better. A lot of my points do go there, I'll be hitting the 250 milestone soon. It's something that a lot of our missing guildmates felt the need to mock me for when it came out."

"Those assholes didn't understand why he did it. I was mocking them, not him, just so you know."

"It never hurt my feelings either way. Most of them had underlying feelings of concern for my well-being behind their jokes. The ones who didn't, had some pretty terrible self esteem issues that they were trying to hide from. It made me feel sorry for them, if anything."

"That sounds like such a nice ability to have. You can understand what's really motivating people."

"I guess, there's still a bit of guesswork involved. Sometimes I get the reason for someone's emotions wrong. I'm also terrible with crowds, I used to have to drink every night like Krassus. It dulls the ability, and when the guild was full of people, it was my best protection against overload. That's why I didn't hit one hundred until I started working with you. It's also why I plan to stick around Brightwood as long as I can. You have no idea how nice it is to only have ten people's emotions influencing mine."

"Oh, that sounds a lot less nice." I knew all too well how it felt to be influenced by things outside your own head. Sometimes I questioned if I knew how I really felt about anything anymore. Where did I end, and the Concepts begin? Did it matter?

Ivo must have put together what I was thinking from the emotions he felt from me. Because he responded to my unspoken questions.

"Being influenced by things outside our control isn't unique to us. Classes influence every single sapient being. The System picks the best match for us of course. But everyone knows the tales of times of need, when a child with no love of the land finds themselves horrified to be put on the path of the farmer. It's said that within a month, the child will be happier than they have ever been. Most like to believe that it is the System knowing their hidden desires. Anyone who has ever felt the call to adventure we face is deluding themselves, or knows that's bullshit." Ivo sighed, and shook his head.

"The difference is, most of the time classes are subtle. Small influences here or there to keep people happy on their path. It's the kind of influence people don't have to, and don't want to recognize most of the time. People like us, we can't help but know that we're being influenced. You with your magic, Pierce with his Tyrant's Rage, myself with my empathy. With classes like ours, we have to remind ourselves who we are regularly. Pierce and I have a very similar way of dealing with it, one I recommend. Find a time when your head is as clear as it can be, and make some rules for yourself. Things you will, and will not do, no matter how you feel. It is very important that you never, ever break them. If you make an exception, even once, the rule has no meaning."

"How do you pick your rules?"

"Well, I made mine from my regrets. For example, 'I will never strike a person in anger' and 'I will be the last to flee' are both pretty self explanatory. 'I am only interested in the person I am dating' is another one that doesn't need a story. I also have a rule against using my ability to manipulate emotions on anything other than anger or overwhelming fear outside of combat without informed consent. Well, I also spread the joy around during celebrations without telling anyone. But hell, if folks didn't want their emotions altered, they wouldn't drink."

"Wait a second, the rules are great, I'll have to think about some of my own, but I have a question. As much as I hate to ask, why didn't you use your ability when I was panicking?"

"Well, I did. The moment I was able to. You see, it's pretty difficult to use my ability when I'm terrified. Your fear hit me pretty hard you know, it takes a few seconds to pull myself together when I have to deal with emotions like that. By the time I came to my own senses, you were at my feet."

"Oh, sorry."

"Don't be sorry. No one chooses to be afraid. I don't know any adventurers that are completely fearless. I will admit, I've never been in combat with one having a panic attack though, that's new. I thought our class insulated us from that. Oh well, I'm sure you'll feel it less the more you fight."

I blinked. I had a sinking feeling in my gut that had nothing to do with the worm I'd eaten. I'd asked Belua to stop the influences on my mind. She'd said she would lower it to the minimum. What if one of the influences that was removed was a shield from that overwhelming fear and indecision. My tail thumped the ground behind me, as I considered having to face that kind of fear again.

My heart sped up just thinking about it. I told myself that was probably wrong, but it felt like the truth. For a moment I was tempted to call on Belua to turn the influence back on. I knew I had a lot of fighting ahead of me, how could I do my job if I was paralyzed by fear like that?

I almost panicked again thinking about it, but I pushed the fear away. Survivor would ensure that I didn't stay frozen, so long as I didn't put myself in a position where I had to fight its suggestions, it would be fine. I couldn't honestly tell myself that I'd rather die than ask for the influence to be put back in place, that would be silly. I regularly submitted myself to the influence of the Aspects I channeled after all. But I wanted to at least try to live with the consequences of my request.

Panicking didn't really seem like it was a normal thing for me to do anyway. That level of fear was really over the top for a predator like me. An idea hit me, what if it wasn't normal, what if…

"Do other emotions come back stronger after being suppressed, like sadness?"

"Well, it depends on the stimulus and the emotion in question. I'm assuming you're talking about fear? I couldn't help but feel that spike you just had. Were you suppressing your fear before? If so, then it's possible. Your mind wouldn't be used to dealing with the feeling, and fear has a way of compounding itself."

I nodded. "How long will it be this bad?"

"I can't answer that, but it should get better fairly quickly if it's a rebound from suppression. Such things are intense, but the mind adapts. You'll likely end up better for it after dealing with it a few times. I can speed up the process if you want. But it won't be comfortable, and it is best done back home in the arena."

My eyes widened, that sounded like it would be more than a little uncomfortable for both of us if he was proposing what I think he was. But it also sounded like a good idea. It would be wonderful if I could get things under control before Belua sent me after a death-attuned creature.

"Let's do that. As long as it won't stress you too much."

Ivo chuckled. "I'll be fine, I'll be feeding every ounce of fear to you after all. You seem a little better now, are you ready to start heading home?"

I was feeling a little better, I still wouldn't be able to shift, but the mass of mana in my stomach was steadily decreasing. I warned the men about my inability to shift, but I felt like I could definitely handle moving.

"Finally." Pierce said. I almost jumped, he had been so quiet.

"You may want to put on that collar I've seen you wear right after changing from time to time. It should make people recognize you as something other than a monster."

I nodded, and called my "clothes" from wherever the System stored them.

The gem studded collar hung loosely around my neck. It felt vaguely uncomfortable, but if it would make people less frightened of me I'd wear a pink tutu. I chuffed softly, amused by the mental picture.

We began the long walk back to the guild. I was able to shift to my ram form shortly after we reached the road, but I didn't feel very comfortable moving at anything above a trot. It wasn't quite sundown when we reached the guild compound, but it was close.