Chapter 38

Good Morning

I felt unbelievably good, I'd never been good with mornings, but I woke up with more energy than any boost of caffeine had ever supplied. I felt cheerful too, a night spent romping without worry around Belua's godly realm as a tireless cub seemed to have done me a lot of good.

My new sense alerted me to Concepts from her realm that clung to me. Energizing was glowing brightly with empowerment to my sense, there were others too, Playful , and Joyful were there, among others but they didn't contain much power. It seemed to be just enough influence to help me greet the day with a smile. I felt no need to resist their influence, it was nice being a morning person for once.

Out of curiosity I checked my character sheet, and found I had two status effects. "Blessing of Belua's Realm" and "Belua's Command." My Charisma was the only attribute that seemed affected, it showed a ten point gain.

I shrugged it off, the blessing was probably those remnant Concepts I felt. The command was likely her way of countering the Guildmaster's Decree, which seemed to be entirely absent now.

I took some time to brush out my fur, humming to myself while I did so. I spent that time getting used to my new sense. Everything had Concepts associated with it. My own body carried the most Concepts of anything in the room. There were so many that I had to intentionally exclude myself from my senses, or I risked overloading myself with the data.

I focused on more simple objects though I hadn't collected many things as of yet. I set my gaze on the brush I was using. What I found was very complicated. At first I sensed very little, but I found if I focused I could feel something, but it was very hard to understand exactly what I was feeling. I realized that it was because the Concepts I was looking at were not empowered.

Once I realized what was making them hard to perceive, the unempowered Concepts became clearer to me. I just had to look a bit harder. What I found was so complicated, it made my head spin.

I could tell how associated they were with what I was looking at by a strange combination of their relative size, and a feeling of weight. That association seemed to indicate how much they could affect the item if they were given power. The the hardest thing to grasp was how the unimbued Concepts I detected changed depending on how I was thinking about the item. It was almost like looking through a kaleidoscope, it took focus and concentration to get a look at each part of an item individually.

If I focused on the concepts of my brush, for instance, and thought of looking at it as that specific brush, I got nothing at all. If I looked at it, and focused on it as a brush in general, I got quite a lot of very weak feeling Concepts related to cleaning and beautifying. If I focused on the wood of the handle, I got a whole different set of Concepts, the same could be said for the bristles.

I could feel how everything I had seen was logged away in my soul, the ones I had gotten from the brush seemed weak and incomplete.

As an experiment, I imbued my brush, focusing intently on the idea of a brush being what was imbued, because those Concepts seemed pretty nifty for its purpose. It worked! I could feel the concepts I focused on take my mana. Now, according to the empowered Concepts, when I brushed my fur my brush would make my fur extra shiny and clean. I chuckled a little. It was a pretty weak effect, I was sure it would be barely noticeable.

When I checked my Catalog, the brush related Concepts that had been imbued felt complete. I was also extremely low on mana in my primary core, so I called the experiment there. There seemed to be little usefulness to trying to pick up inactive Concepts for the moment.

When I tried to focus on any of the mana floating around in my room, I got nothing. Well that's not true, it was like walking into a packed auditorium filled with people all having conversations, and trying to pick up what one individual in the middle of the room was saying. I was kind of glad I didn't pick up anything more than what I usually got from the mana. Because if I got everything, I feel like I stood good odds of ending up on the floor as my brain fried. I couldn't make them out, but I could tell, there were tens of thousands of Concepts in the mote of life mana I'd focused on.

After my little experiment, I was a little closer to mana starvation than I'd like to be, and I was feeling physical hunger to match the state of my core. So I headed out to grab some food from the guildhall's kitchens.

When I opened the door leading outside of the apartments, I froze at a sight I was not expecting, the first rays of dawn were just starting to show themselves.

My time in Belua's realm hadn't just turned me into a morning person, given how long I'd dallied in my room, it had made me an "awake before the crack of dawn" person. I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

I was wide awake, and bordering on ready to commit murder for some food, so I chalked it up to just another new thing, and moved on with my day. The blessing was still going strong, so despite my hunger I had a little smile on my face and a spring in my step as I hungrily gulped down the ambient mana and made my way to the kitchens, my staff silently floating behind me.

I was surprised to hear noise coming from inside. It was early yet, and Nefen said he wasn't going to be available to cook for us. So I assumed there wouldn't be anyone there. I sniffed the air, curious who it was. I wasn't surprised when I recognized Ivo and Pierce's scents.

I hoped there wouldn't be any awkwardness after our encounter the night before. Particularly not when I had to tell them about how they got volunteered by Belua to come hunt with me.

When I walked into the kitchen, I saw them hard at work. They were making enough food to feed an army, or our tiny little guild, take your pick.

"Good morning!" I said in a cheerful voice.

The moment they looked at me, my mark lit the room with its glow. Two beams shot out of it, hitting both men in the middle of their foreheads, and knocking them to the ground.

They didn't stir. I had to run over and break another life crystal to heal Pierce. I was running low on those, I could feel the spots where the ones I had used the night before were just barely starting to grow back.

The man had been holding a large frying pan full of eggs, and got a nasty burn. I didn't want to just leave him like that. The eggs were all over the floor now. The very primitive, hungry, part of my instincts pulled at my mind, distracted by the food, with some effort I ignored it.

I picked the men up, and set them down one at a time in chairs that were set off to the side, by a small table in the kitchen. They didn't respond at all to being moved. For some reason I wasn't worried, when I thought about it, I realized I had faith in Belua. She would never intentionally bring harm to her children like that, and we were all her children. I knew that as a fact after spending time in her realm.

I still sent a little prayer to her asking what the fuck just happened, and why hadn't she warned me?

She… actually responded to me. The message was not in words, but in ideas pressed gently into my head that I knew came from her. Souls that lacked their own Concept wouldn't take contact with godly energies very well. It would do them no harm, but they would be out for about an hour.

I was happy to hear they were fine, but why she didn't warn me what would happen wasn't answered. Also, did that mean my soul had a Concept? Being held by Belua was a somewhat overwhelming experience when I looked back on it. But it had been extremely pleasant, I had definitely been under the influence of many, many Concepts that emanated from her, but I wasn't knocked out like the two men were.

Even having experienced Belua's Concepts, I couldn't name them, like looking into the mana, there was just too much there. I resolved to ask her a few questions tonight, when I was in her realm again. Because I felt in her message, that communicating with the physical world was something that cost more energy than she wanted to spend.

I swept up the eggs, mildly disturbed by the impulse to eat them off the floor that I had to put effort into resisting, and stirred the sauce Ivo had been working on. Then refilled the frying pan with eggs and got to work on them. I also located a huge pack of sausages, and put them on a different pan.

If someone said I tossed a couple down the hatch raw, I'd say, no one was around to see it so it obviously didn't happen.

There was a serving cart in the kitchen that, when powered by mana, would keep food fresh. I stocked it with eggs, bacon, sausage, and toast. Taking a small chef's tax from everything I cooked. I wasn't sure what the sauce Ivo was making was for, it smelled cheesy and spicy. When it seemed nice and thick, I transferred it into an appropriate container for pouring and put it in the cart too.

I spent the entire hour they were out cooking to the best of my ability. I was no expert, but I could handle simple breakfast foods well enough. I kept pretty busy.

I did find a moment to check out the concept on the cart. The runes somehow created Stasis , which seemed like a very complicated and powerful idea to put in something as simple as a serving cart.

I was just about to fold some eggs into an omelet, when I felt something slam into the side of my head, just under my ear, in a place my horns didn't protect very well. I went flying, when I slammed into the wall, my world faded to black.

I was in Belua's realm again, this time I was a demihuman child. I felt fine, but I had a feeling my real self wasn't doing so good right now. I knew being knocked unconscious like that was dangerous. Belua appeared next to me, looking concerned. The goddess reached down wrapped her arms around me, picking me up to hold me like a toddler.

"I'm pretty sure Pierce punched me next week because of you." I said bluntly in a squeaky voice. I gasped in shock at my own words. I had no idea what compelled me to say it like that, it seemed so rude.

A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.

Belua must have seen the surprised and embarrassed look on my face after I spoke, she giggled at me. "I'm used to it, dear, it's the honesty of youth. Not your fault, not your fault at all. I'm sorry Pierce was so mean to you, you're right I should have warned you, or trusted you with a trigger phrase. But such is life, you'll be fine, you're a big boy, just channel that lovely little life core when you wake back up."

I nodded, proud that she had faith in me. I puffed up my little chest. "Yup, I can do that. I just hope Torill isn't around." I moved to whisper in her ear, she leaned her head for me. "That core makes me act funny around her." I wanted to hide under a rock after my own childish admission.

She laughed again. "I'm sure it does little one, courting someone you are already interested in seems scary, huh?"

I looked at her like she was stupid. "Uh huh, it is, but what I really don't like is how it made me feel jealous. It was stupid, and I don't like her like that. Plus, this life is too new for me. I have so many new things to learn, and your contract to think of. I'm scared too, I lived a long time alone. I spent years dying, you know?"

The goddess kissed me on the top of my head. "I know you're a Survivor, no one picks up that Concept in a fun life. Don't worry about a little emotion like jealousy. Take my advice and live a little during your downtime in this life. I wouldn't be opposed to seeing what a half Mana Beast looks like!"

I would have blushed at her advice, but I was too busy being shocked by the sensation of resonance when she said survivor. She had somehow put the Concept into her speech, and my soul reacted to it like someone had screamed my name. I was indeed a Survivor, I felt how true that was, how it was woven into me. No matter what, I would do anything to keep on existing.

"Ahh, you didn't know? Every contractor's soul has at least one active Concept already, it's a requirement. You literally can't do the job without one. As core Concepts go, that's a good one, it'll make you very hard to kill. It's pretty rare to see too. It means hundreds of people saw you, or heard about you, and thought, 'that person there, that's a survivor.' That's no small thing. I'm impressed, you know. So I'm going to give you a little shove." She put her hands under my arms, and held me up, looking me in the eyes.

"I, goddess Belua, mother of all, ruler of this world, do command you to live in this life. Do my missions, but when you're not doing them, don't just practice, and experiment. Have some fun. Take one hour out of every day to do something you want to do, unless it would hurt someone, or cause you trouble, I don't care what it is, and no goddess with concepts like mine looks fondly on chastity." She winked at the last bit. I put my hand over my face, she seemed to be having fun at my expense there. I heard her giggle.

After her command, which I found myself rather grateful that I didn't feel any real power behind, she moved me to her hip.

"Just so you know, demi's don't really do long term relationships unless their animal spirit calls for it. No one of their race who is willing to court you would expect a cat to stick around forever. Which is good, because you won't be in Brightwood forever."

I truly wanted her to stop with all her blatant attempts to get a rise out of me. At least I hoped that was what she was doing, she was bound for disappointment if she actually wanted me to act on those words. But I was saved from responding by a jerking sensation. I woke up to pain, I think Pierce shattered my jaw. I felt bruises forming on my left side too, where I'd slammed into the wall.

I groaned, and reached up to touch the side of my face. A strong hand gripped my arm. "You were out for less than a minute, but he really got you good. Would you like to tell me what the hell that was?"

I looked around for Pierce, but I didn't see him.

"He left after he punched you, I haven't seen him give in to anger like that in a long time. I'd be right there with him if I hadn't felt your shock right before that light hit me." Ivo let go of my arm.

I tried to talk, but I couldn't really move my jaw. So I just pointed at my goddess mark, mentally asking it to glow.

"Something to do with Belua? Why would she do whatever that was?" Ivo looked confused.

I focused hard on him, I knew I could use my Spirit Beast speech in other forms, but I'd never tried it as a demihuman.

"She wants you to hunt with me, she said I needed to learn to fight in the company of others."

I flinched as I realized that I sent my memory of laying on Belua's lap, while she talked about including Ivo and Pierce.

"Oh." Was all Ivo said for a moment, after taking a few calming breaths, he continued. "I'm going to go tell Pierce, you, uh, do whatever you need to do." He ran off like someone put a match to his tail.

I groaned, and got ready to channel my life mana core, when my staff, who had been quietly following me around all morning made a decision. I had known it was thinking something to do with its levels over, so I had left it alone. It poked me, and I got the prompt from the System.

Living Wood Thorn Staff has been rewarded with level × 10

Living Wood Thorn Staff needs you to pick a trait.

1. Elemental Infusion

2. Size Shifting

3. Controlled Flexibility

4. Envenomed Thorns

5. Telepathy

6. Autonomous Spellcasting

Choices will reappear every ten levels.

Apparently it had levels waiting this whole time, and I hadn't thought about it at all.

My companion let me know it wanted to be able to cast spells. I communicated that it might not be so easy as the way I did things. I pictured Nefen's complex spellforms. It knew that. It also knew that the System would give it some spells to start with. Its thoughts stunned me with their coherence. My partner seemed to be advancing mentally so quickly it was astounding.

I shrugged, I wasn't about to go back on my policy of letting it make its own choices. I selected the trait.

I felt my companion's mind through the link, being assaulted with information. Not long after the assault ended it glowed green, I saw a quick flash of a spellform, and I felt regenerative life mana flow into me. My shattered jaw instantly began to mend itself. I sent my thanks through the link to my wooden buddy. It responded by casting its heal again, and again until I was fully healed, and its life mana storage was nearly empty.

Without thinking about how it couldn't exactly give me a list, I asked what else it could cast. I was dismayed when I received frustration and annoyance from it. It wanted to tell me specifics, but the link didn't allow for something as precise as language.

I felt how it was beginning to grow smart enough that it craved real communication, and not just with me. I could tell how it would have told Pierce off for punching me like that, and damn the consequences. It also seemed to want to be able to just talk with people. I felt how it had been considering telepathy the whole time, but it wanted to be useful for me, and telepathy wouldn't benefit me much. When it saw me hurt, it had made its choice easy.

It knew my mind, so I didn't really have to send it anything, but I sent it gratitude anyway. I wished it had chosen what it wanted though. If it was growing to be truly sapient, it deserved to make some selfish choices. It was free to pick its own life, as far as I was concerned. I had to start figuring out how to give it a better life than following me around all the time.

It slammed its knob into my head with enough force to actually hurt me. I received a strong negation of the idea of leaving. It may be developing its own mind, but in its mind, there was nothing better than staying with the one it was bonded to. Anyone who tried to separate it from me would learn a lesson, fast.

It knew its purpose. I felt that so strongly it made me want to cry, it didn't seem right, I didn't want someone serving me like that. Then it sent me its idea of Belua, who I was beginning to feel a strange connection to after only one night in her realm. I had never been religious, but she was an obviously powerful existence, and she was kind to me. When I was in her presence, I felt how she cared about every sapient being in her world, like they were her children.

I could feel the fact that her Concepts were influencing me, she was starting to really feel like the mother I never had, in either life, it was another influence I didn't really want to fight. It felt so nice.

There was a confusing set of emotions when I thought about mothers in general. I had a hard time understanding where it was coming from. When I poked that odd feeling, my mind flashed back to my first life's excuse for a mother. There was an odd disconnect forming between me and the memories of my previous life.

It was almost like I remembered the facts of what happened with only shadows of emotion attached.

Her mother was barely there after the accident that killed my past self's father, brother, and very nearly Angela herself. My old self always suspected her mother blamed her for what happened.

But when the reporters couldn't stop talking about the daughter of a politician who crashed his car in the middle of nowhere while bringing his children home from his daughter's fancy birthday party. It took them two days to find the crashed vehicle. It was a miracle Angela survived, she was 5.

Given the girl's father's status, and the shock of finding such a small child holding on to life in the wreck that killed a grown man, and a teen. Along with the scandal when they found out just how high the previously publicly virtuous father's blood alcohol level was. The reporters had a field day.

At first I think her mother was secretly happy. She allowed the reporters to "interview" my five year old past self while she was still in the hospital. Her mother had her own ambitions, and she tried to use the attention to further them. I remember a barely adult version of my previous incarnation watching videos of the speeches her mother gave during that time. Though I barely have memories of my old self being carted around while she used her daughter's story to run for her own political positions with a hard anti-drugs and alcohol stance.

The mother's happiness came to an end when one reporter decided to research exactly where the doting mother had been while her daughter was missing after a birthday party that she had failed to attend.

Images surfaced of her, obviously under the influence, with another man. That revelation brought her career to a screeching halt. She withdrew from life, both public and private after that. I remember how she left her daughter in the care of a nanny. It was probably for the best since the few interactions I remember after that were profoundly toxic. I remember how sad and bitter that made Angela.

My past self grew up trying to hide from people who recognized her as the young survivor. Angela wanted to separate herself from that part of her history. It was almost like she thought if she could make people forget about it, perhaps her mother wouldn't hate her.

She did still say yes when asked to participate in a drunk driving PSA, for better or worse.

My previous existence's mother practically disowned her after that. She yelled at the poor girl for using the past to get her own fifteen minutes of fame, as though the mother hadn't tried to do that exact thing. Angela's mother had truly only ever cared for one person, herself.

Belua on the other hand felt like what a mother should be, like the ones you see in stories. Being around her was like a salve on my mental wounds from the life that was feeling increasingly distant. Her influence filled a void I barely realized existed. I wasn't about to join the church, but a part of me felt compelled to make her happy. I would follow her around like a kitten if she needed me, no question.

My companion indicated that I understood its feeling. Though, it let me know that in its case, it saw how I was stumbling through this new world. It was well aware that I was no godly being, but I was its creator, and I needed it. It was pretty sure it was getting smarter than me too.

I laughed at the last impression. "Oy, listen to this asshole. Thinks it's smarter than me just 'cause I don't know my way around a whole new world." I said, grabbing my companion by the shaft, and staring at it in mock anger.

I felt a moment of hurt feelings before it read my mind and understood that I was kidding with it, and how letting someone know you thought you were smarter than them was kind of rude.

"Well, enough of this, come on buddy, I need to get some breakfast so I can get on with my day, and get some levels to get you that ability." The words spoken to someone who knew my thoughts were completely unnecessary. But I felt how it appreciated them.