I was still some distance from the guild compound when my attention snapped to a figure sitting by the pond. When I focused on the person I could see that it was Torill, though some part of my mind had already known that. I considered still heading for the meeting hall like I had originally planned, I was embarrassed that I had run away like I did.

I altered my course to land in a tree near her despite myself. My landing was quiet, barely disturbing the branch, I had come a long way in my flight in just a few days. She still looked up at me without a hint of surprise on her face.

"Do you want to talk about it?" The concern in her voice was almost enough to make me tell her exactly how I felt.

Instead I hopped out of the tree, shifting to my demihuman form as I fell, I landed lightly on my feet.

"No, I just needed some time alone, I'll be fine." I was quite certain that the fact that my tail was curling around my legs, and my lowered ears gave away my mental state.

It wasn't a lie. I knew I would be fine, eventually. I didn't need to burden her with my feelings. I told myself sternly that we weren't in love. She'd been clear about her feelings from the very start. She liked me, and being with a fellow contractor was a good outlet for her, that was all.

Despite the fact that I relished the feelings of comfort I experienced in her presence, and wanted nothing more than to spend every waking moment around her, I knew what I felt wasn't love either. I barely knew her, even if my emotions told me I'd known her my entire life.

I closed my eyes, and took a steadying breath. I reminded myself that what I felt was a combination of memories of loneliness from Angela's life, a young healthy body, and the instincts I'd been saddled with. I liked Torill, she was kind to me. I was also compelled by her physical beauty.

What I felt for her was something that could lead to love. But it wasn't love. Love took time, and for it to be real, it had to go both ways. I knew I should probably start distancing myself from her.

I felt her take my hand. I had been so consumed with my thoughts that I hadn't noticed her moving.

"Okay, let me know when you do want to talk, okay? We should head to dinner. We'll tell Nefen that we're going to be leaving for a bit afterwards. I'm sure he knows where Samuel is to let him know. You should make sure Ivo and Pierce aren't looking for us tomorrow too."

"Oh… yeah…"

"Make sure to enjoy it! It'll be the last good dinner we'll have for a while! Nefen's breakfasts are good, but his dinners are the best I've had in this life!"

I followed as she pulled me along to the hall. Distance wasn't an option, not with Belua assigning us to hunt together. I would just have to follow her example and enjoy the time we had. It would hurt a lot, but pushing her away before I had to go would be unkind. It would also ruin the memories that we could make together.

I had an ominous premonition that I might need some happy memories later.

During dinner I was extra quiet, but it was fine. I didn't need to contribute to the conversations around me to enjoy them.

I listened while Ivo bragged about our easy hunt, and Janus and Martin both complained about being stuck leveling via arena practice. Krassus took Janus to task for how little time he'd actually put into practicing.

Martin swiftly jumped in with a quip about how the man couldn't help it that he was filled with such flaming passion. Janus's face practically glowed red as he took a half hearted swing at his friend, who ducked out of the way with a laugh.

Given what I knew about Concepts, the joke probably held more truth than either man realized. I almost felt sorry for judging the guy.

The rest of dinner went well, I listened to the chatter, and focused on enjoying the fantastic array of food available instead of just shoving it in my mouth.

When it looked like people were considering getting up, I took the opportunity to let everyone there know that Torill and I were leaving for at least a week. Ivo let out what was probably the most relieved sigh I'd ever heard.

When I looked at him, he shrugged, and said, "Look, I appreciate all the levels but there's a reason the guild doesn't normally allow us to work every day."

I heard Nefen moving and saw him smiling at Ivo. "History has shown that those who put themselves in danger every day are far more likely to make costly mistakes. I would not dare question the Great Mother, but I wish I knew why she was taking such chances with you three."

I stayed silent, my tail thumped my chair. I didn't like holding back the information, it almost felt painful. Nefen narrowed his eyes at me.

"Do you have something you want to say?"

"Belua has her reasons. She asked that I not spread them." I responded. I was pretty proud of my self control Torill patted me on the shoulder, she knew what I was working around.

"I see, well, I suppose I won't pry then. But you two will come with me. I need to know where you are going, what are you expecting to do?"

The author's tale has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

It was suddenly clear why Belua had been so light on the information. Because I could easily tell him that I had no idea beyond the fact that we were going to hunt some monsters that the goddess thought would be good for me.

"Well at least she's seen fit to send you off with a competent minder. Let's go see Samuel, then I want to make sure you have adequate supplies."

Samuel was in his office, eating while hunched over what looked suspiciously like paperwork. His eyes drifted over Nefen and Torill and landed on me. "What brings you in here brother?"

When I told him he laughed and smiled. "A true adventure then! Good! Journeys are far better than monster hunts! The young are not meant to be tied in place. Go! See some of the world and come back to tell me about it."

I swore I could hear a note of envy in his voice.

"I will, brother." I said.

His eyes flicked to Torill. "Watch him well, little sister. Young lords are strong, but they attract trouble to themselves."

"Yes sir, I'll keep him safe." Torill said with her trademark smile.

"No, sister, danger is important for proper growth. Keep him alive, not safe." Samuel corrected.

Torill's face darkened a little, but she didn't lose her smile. "Oh, I know that! You're so silly, I've been minding Krassus for ages. It'll be really hard to see him get hurt, but I can do it." Her voice carried so much sugar my teeth ached hearing it. She even added a little giggle and ran her hand through my fur at the end.

I thought I saw a slight frown flicker across the old bear's face. But it was gone so quickly it might have been my imagination. "We are not in the Homeland, but never forget what he is, little sister. We are both very fortunate."

Torill gripped my arm, hard. "Oh yes, I thank the Great Mother every day for sending him to me."

He closed his eyes and nodded, then he dipped one of his long claws into some ink, and deftly used it to write something on a small sheet of paper. Then he turned to Nefen.

"Be sure she purchases this, she is likely to need it if they are spending a week in the wilds."

"Certainly." The mage said as he picked up the list and looked it over. His brows furrowed as he took it in.

"This seems a little light…"

"They can purchase more if they feel they need it. But he will want to hunt for them, given the opportunity. And my people prefer to sleep under the stars when we are on the move."

He seemed pretty certain of our preferences, he was probably correct about me. The moment he mentioned it, my instincts perked up. The idea of showing Torill how good I was at bringing her food seemed to please them immensely.

"Alright then, this way," Nefen said. When we left Samuel's office he grumbled something unintelligible, before turning to look at Torill.

"Perhaps he is correct in his assumptions, but there is very rarely such a thing as being too prepared. I would recommend doubling this, and purchasing a storage ring. Small ones are not too costly, and you barely spend your earnings. I would also recommend a tent. The weather warden said that things will be clear for the next few weeks, but we don't know how far the two of you are going."

"I think we should triple the dried meat, and add a bucket of light, water, and fire crystals. I agree about the tent, though I may not use it. He's gotten too large to sleep in one, if he shifted in his sleep it would be a disaster."

I could swear I saw Nefen's floppy ears perk up. "By a bucket, how many do you mean? I assume they are to supplement his diet? I've heard he has a taste for them."

"Say one hundred gold worth? And yes, I'm not sure it matters what element they are, actually, just whatever gets us the most mana."

Nefen looked at me. "Do you have a preference?"

"Life is my favorite, followed by air and water, then earth. Light and darkness are both fine. Fire is okay, spicy but not intolerable. No death, please." I rattled off like I was making a food order.

"I see, I won't be getting you any life crystals. If you ever find them, I would advise you to not consume them. I probably don't have to tell you that undirected life mana is just as dangerous as its death counterpart."

I nodded, I had an idea what life mana could do now, it was scary stuff. The book of life spells Nefen had put on my shelf had been almost as slim as the one on death.

We continued to talk about supplies for a while. Nefen wanted to add things like a firestarter even though both of us could make fire with mana for free. I was about to tell him about how if I was ever out of mana like that, starting a fire would be the least of my worries. I noticed Torill shooting me a silencing look before I even opened my mouth.

She accepted every single addition he offered. I got the feeling that she just didn't think it was worth it to argue with the man.

By the time we headed for bed, I was pretty sure our list would have taken three of the pages that Samuel handed to Nefen.

The moment my door was closed and locked, Torill let out a growl that had me dropping to the floor wondering what I'd done. I was very glad when she began to rant about Samuel.

Well, it started about Samuel, but morphed into an indictment of the belief system of this planet's demihumans. Apparently while Samuel never treated her badly, he didn't call her little sister if I wasn't around. He also heavily implied that she wasn't worthy of me, right in front of my face, and I didn't catch it.

Then she started to cry. "The worst part is, the part of me that grew up here agrees with him."

I wrapped my arms around her and held her tight. "We know better, if anything, that's backwards. You've helped me so much, I'm just a screw up who lucked into this body."

"I'm going to miss you too, you know." She said, hugging me back. "I know you didn't want to talk about it, but I wanted you to know that."

Then we both cried.

We spent the rest of the night opening up about our feelings. She was only slightly less of a mess than I was. Her little speech about every relationship being temporary had been an attempt to protect us from the pain.

"No matter how many lives you live, when you let people in, losing them is going to hurt. I've never been good at not letting people in."

I told her about Angela's life, about how I'd inherited a lot of lonely memories when I split and very few happy ones. We fell asleep holding each other.

We didn't leave my room in Belua's realm, and the goddess was wise enough not to interrupt us.