As I threw open the door, I saw some unexpected movement. I found my body moving without even understanding what I was reacting to. I went from opening the door to on the ground, having gently caught Torill before she collapsed to the ground.

The woman’s eyes cracked open, and she groggily took in the situation. I blinked down at her, replaying what I had just done.

Torill had apparently fallen asleep leaning on my door. When I opened the door quickly, my instincts had seen her falling, and I moved faster than my own perception was capable of keeping up with to catch her.

I was stunned, not only had I moved faster than I thought possible, I had managed to do it with the precision to catch her so gently that it barely woke her. Though, I wasn't sure I was capable of repeating that performance while consciously controlling myself. It was all instincts.

"Ahh hello Angel, I'm sorry, I fell asleep." Torill mumbled as she snuggled into my arms, clearly not truly conscious yet.

I rumbled softly to her, that she should go back to sleep, my voice heavy with the pur that so often started up uncontrollably whenever I was near her. I gathered her into my arms, and carried her to my bed, she looked so small, sleeping in my arms.

When I set her down on the bed, I had to resist the strong instinctive impulse to shift to my true form and curl up with her. I wasn't the least bit tired, something about the leveling process I had just gone through had restored me completely.

I had to struggle to leave her alone on my bed, the desire to watch over my mate while she slept was nearly overwhelming. I pulled the covers over her instead, reminding myself that I had no reason to believe my room was anything but perfectly safe. She looked so tiny in my drastically oversized bed, I almost caved and climbed in with her.

As much as I wanted to follow my instincts, I didn't know when my next chance to spend a day reading would come. So I padded quietly out of the room, closing the door behind me as quietly as I could.

I tried to remind myself how happy I was to be putting aside time to read, and educate myself with something other than the trial and error I had been going with so far. It helped me put one foot in front of the other, but my tail dragged on the ground behind me, and my ears drooped.

The mana swirled around me, brushing against me, it felt like it was trying to cheer me up. I looked back towards my room as I exited the building. The fact that I didn't know how long I'd be allowed to stay in Brightwood, how long I'd be around to spend time with Torill made my heart ache. I almost gave in and headed back.

Learning was important, it could be the difference between life and death. That thought called to survivor, and the Concept helped me steel my resolve.

When I walked out of the apartments I was nearly blinded by the radiance of the light mana raining down from a sun that was high in the sky. The blindness only lasted a moment as I both adjusted to the light, and the mana itself shifted to an aspect that was much kinder to my vision.

It had been blinding, and scorching, it altered itself to be revealing, and comforting. As it fell on me like rain and sank into my body, I allowed its Concepts to affect me. I wondered if I would get in trouble for bringing books out of the guildhall, it was perfect weather to read outside.

I shook myself, mentally shedding the last vestiges of melancholy from myself, and enjoyed the sun's gentle warmth for the short walk to the hall. I was in much better spirits when I opened the doors to the nearly empty meeting hall.

Alexander was the only person in the building, he looked up from a voluminous tome briefly meeting my eyes before going back to his reading. I left him to it, I didn't want to bother the skittish kid until I had to.

As much as I wanted to get to reading, the scent of food drew me into the kitchen first. My stomach's thundering reaction would be too much of a distraction if I didn't at least take the edge off my hunger. I put what looked like a turkey into the oven, and snatched up a few other things to eat raw while I waited the few minutes it took to cook.

I ate the bird while standing in the kitchen once it was cooked. The hunger didn't disappear of course, it never could, as long as that damned Concept was attached to me. The intensity decreased to the point that I could think more clearly however.

I grabbed a bag of jerky to hopefully help keep my appetite under control, and headed to look through the bookcases that Nefen had stocked for us.

The first bookcase I looked at seemed to be full of books on medicine, and plagues, there was a large open space between volumes two and four of "A Learned Healer's Guide to the Sapient Races." Each tome in the set seemed to cover one race, helpfully listed in the title, every one of them was enormous.

I sneaked a peek at Alexander, unsurprised to identify the book he was holding as the one missing from the shelf.

"E-excuse me, sir.. The ones he picked out for you are over there. I mean, Y-you can look at those if you want, but they're the ones he picked for me." Alexander pointed to a large bookcase further along the wall, with a shaking hand.

I smiled, careful not to show my teeth. "Thanks Alex!" I walked over to the one he indicated, looking at the titles of the books in other bookcases on the way. "Wow, it looks like he put a whole bookcase together for everyone. Damn, look at the dust on the ones about fire and axework."

"It's Alexander, and Janus doesn't have much patience for reading. He'd much rather spend time with... he'd much rather spend time in town anyway."

I smirked. I bet Janus liked spending time in town. That boy smelled like a different lady, or set of ladies every time I had been near him. "Sorry Alexander, thanks for pointing me in the right direction, I might still look at other stuff too, do you think that's a problem?"

"No problems there, these are just… they're just Nefen's suggestions for us. From what he's seen."

My bookcase had a very interesting assortment of subjects. There were books on each of the elements, even some for elements that didn't seem to exist in Brightwood, like lightning. I suppressed a shudder at the memory of what Martin's skill had done to me.

There was also an atlas, and books on various different kingdom's, including the Demihuman territories that were collectively referred to simply as "The Homeland."

I paged through that one out of curiosity. It seemed they lacked central leadership. They were more of a scattered collection of cities, each one completely independent. They were all kept safe by their powerful spirit beast guardians.

Those guardians were technically the rulers, as any major decision made by their subjects had to be approved by them, but they seldom interfered with the daily lives of their people.

The beasts were given all the most powerful natural treasures that their people found, fed a constant diet of whatever they desired. The people in their cities would compete to find the best, most compatible monster core to feed their guardian for their monthly core consumption.

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All the guardians seemed to do was sit around and scare off any larger danger that threatened their city. I wasn't sure I was fit for that sort of sedentary life, but my instincts seemed to be a little jealous. I closed the book on the homeland, I still wasn't sure where it was in relation to the kingdom I found myself in.

With that thought in my head, I pulled out the atlas next. The world looked huge, if all the continents and nations marked on the fold out world map were any indication.

If the number of books on the subject was any indication, the kingdom I found myself in was named Estian. When I looked for it on the world map. It was hard to find. When I did find it, I was surprised how small it was in the grand scheme of things.

I folded up the world map, and paged through the book until I found the continent that I had been placed on. Homeland seemed to take up the most space, it seemed their deals with the spirit beasts had been very beneficial for them. Odollia and Estian were the two nations I needed to pay attention to. Of the two, Odollia, the elven kingdom that the humans were at war with, seemed much smaller in terms of landmass.

I paged through a few more maps, trying to find Brightwood, when I noticed that each section had its mana tier listed. The elven nation had very few lower tier areas, and the lowest was tier 3, while the humans had several tier one zones.

Brightwood was tier one, the deep mountains were tier six, which was the highest tier I had seen listed. The deep mountains were listed as a no man's land, the map of that area came as close to simply saying "here there be dragons" as I had seen in the atlas. The page that covered it in detail mostly listed the known territories of large spirit beasts. Snow was listed as an entity to avoid angering, his territory was one of the largest, and least well mapped.

After spending some time getting an idea of the lay of the land, I closed the atlas, and put it back on the shelf. I wanted to move on to the books on the elements, but instead I picked up a book on Estian politics.

I didn't get far, it was dry, and boring and made my action and exploration focused mind zone out. I really didn't care that the Staidwells, of Lindt were in a power struggle with their neighbors. Though it was interesting how the fight between them was a game of who could contribute more to the war effort.

I decided that it was time to move on to the subject that I was really interested in for the moment. Magic!

There were three whole books dedicated to keeping your sanity as a wild mage, I ignored them, I felt like I had found my way through it already.

I picked up a tome that seemed to be about the known uses for fire mana. It was geared, not toward wild mages, but casters trying to create their own spells.

It was an interesting read, it didn't mention Concepts specifically. Perhaps because you had to be exposed to them, and understand at least something about them before you could hear people talk about them. They did, however, talk about ideas that you had to hold in your mind while casting, which was kind of like talking about the Concepts involved.

I skipped most of the technical details about spell building. I found the details difficult to pay attention to. I had a superior way of talking to mana after all. That thought made my brain itch a little, but I had more important things to pay attention to.

Like the fact that fire mana could purify, and heal, to some degree. It could also chase off fear, though pushed too far, it could make a person recklessly brave.

It could enhance strength, and inflame passions. It could lend comfort, and be used to create safe zones that pushed terror into monsters and beasts.

Fire mana was good for quite a lot more than burning things. I had known that, but it was hard to get past my instinctive reaction to the idea of fire in order to search for those Concepts.

I spent about an hour reading about the less obvious uses of fire mana before moving on.

I learned a lot less about the elements I was in tune with, but I read their books to be thorough.

After going through everything else, I eyed the book on death. I didn't know why was so reluctant to pick it up, I thought I had dealt with my issues with that mana type, but it seemed like more exposure to it was making it harder to think about using the core, not easier.

My revulsion at the idea of that mana was so intense I checked to see if I had accidentally activated my life core. The way it had infected me, had clearly shaken me more than I wanted to admit to myself.

"Knowledge is the enemy of fear." I grumbled to myself, as I reached forward to grab the comparatively slim book.

"I like that, did you come up with that yourself?" I heard Alexander ask quietly.

When I looked at him, he seemed a bit embarrassed to have spoken up.

"No, I think I got the words a little wrong, but… I heard it from someone else." It was a phrase Angela had liked.

"Oh, well, they sound smart. I don't know if it's always true though. The more I learn about plagues, the more scary they seem." His face went red and he seemed to shrink a bit as he spoke.

"Yeah, some things are just scary. But knowing how plagues work is the key to stopping them, isn't it?" While I was talking, I understood in a flash why the boy seemed so terrified of other people getting near him. "And learning about how your class works is the key to controlling it. Both of those sets of knowledge lead to less fear in the long run."

"I guess you're right." The boy mumbled, before returning to his reading.

I read up on the uses for death mana. The book had a few tips for raising undead servants, but it came with warnings that such a practice was considered unsafe. The author spoke of how the undead, even well controlled, could spread disease and filth. They made a short mention of the moral implications of raising the most useful types of undead as well.

I noticed how despite the warnings, it offered instructions for how to make the spells.

I didn't learn much, there was very little from death mana that wasn't fairly obvious. There were a few fairly awful spells that used the infectious nature of death mana in attacks. It warned that it was useless against more powerful opponents, or anyone with any type of mana shield.

I'd seen shield spells for every element, I wasn't sure that I could make one with my class the way it was. Though I did remember being able to work air mana into something like a shield. I'd have to try that with a mana crystal when I wasn't surrounded by paper.

I was about to set the book down, having read most of it, when the door to the hall opened. I shot out of the chair I was sitting in to go greet Torill.

I didn't know what possessed me to move so fast, but had her in my arms almost before I realized I had moved. I purred loudly, and nuzzled her, asking if she slept well while I breathed in her scent like I had been suffocating without it.

She reached up, and scratched my mane, I leaned into it. I forgot all about the book I had in my hand, I just wanted to be near her. For a few moments she was my whole world. I would die for her, a feeling that strangely, survivor did not rise to counter.

"What's this?" She asked, reaching for the book that I had forgotten existed.

I handed it to her, my mind was buzzing with joy from being near her.

"A spell book huh? Are you thinking of trying to learn to cast spells? I didn't think your class could do that." She lowered her voice to barely a whisper. "It's possible, but difficult to learn while the System is assisting you with mana manipulation. It won't stop you, but it will stop helping you move mana if you try."

I heard her, I paid attention to everything about her, but I just stared at her like an idiot for a moment before I realized that she had asked me a question.

It took me another moment to remember what I had been doing before she walked in.

"Yeah, I mean no, I was just using it as a reference for what the mana can do. But… do you think I could learn? It would be great if I could do some of the things in these books without channeling the mana directly."

"It's technically possible, but it's hard for someone with a magic related class to learn to control mana on their own. It's actually easier for a baker to learn that kind of magic than it would be for you."

"Oh, okay." I said, as I returned to staring at her. Something about her was sending my instincts into overdrive, and all they wanted was to be near her.

She looked at me intently, taking in my rapt attention. "Are you feeling alright? You seem more distracted than usual."

"I'm fine!" I said, too loudly.

"I'm sure you are. Why don't we go sit down and we can both read?" She took my hand, and I followed her to a chair. "Sit down, I'll have a look at what Nefen set aside for you."

I did, something bothered me about my own behavior, but I didn't see the harm. I knew I had to take every bit of joy from the time we had that I could.

She brought a book I had skipped over, intending to get to it later. It was the book of rules and procedures for the Adventurers guild. I wasn't in the mood for something like that, and it must have shown on my face because she sighed.

"Let's read this together huh? I could probably use a refresher."

She hopped on my lap, cuddled into me, and opened a book that had suddenly become far more interesting.