Things did not go as planned. The moment I saw the arch leading into the actual arena, the memory of Martin's attack sundering and remaking all that I was played through my head. I felt nothing, but Ivo let out a groan and collapsed.

I caught him as he fell, and carried him out of the arena. There was no way I was going in there ever again. My heart was thundering in my chest, my breathing was ragged, and the only reason I held my form was because I felt like I needed to get Ivo away from that place.

I ran towards the apartments like demons were chasing me, clutching Ivo's unconscious form close to me as if I could protect him from my fear.

In this case, it was probably the worst reaction I could have had, but my own self imposed command to never abandon my friends would not allow me to leave him behind.

Thankfully my mad sprint did not go unnoticed, and I found myself lifted off the ground by a pair of strong arms. In my panic I bit at the fur covered arms that held me, but it was like biting steel.

"Little brother, what happened? Does Ivo need a healer?"

Samuel's deep voice, and reassuring strength helped me claw my way back to rationality. His presence banished the fear from my mind. I looked down at Ivo's unconscious armorless form. The man was probably rather fortunate that his constitution was so high with how tightly I had been holding him.

"I'm pretty sure it's overload, I…" I didn't know how to adequately describe the level of terror I had felt, and I was sure that the emotions Ivo absorbed from me during the flashback itself were much more severe.

Samuel's grip on me loosened. "What happened?"

"I've been dealing with some… fears… lately. Ivo offered to help me face them in the safety of the arena but the arena itself was scaring me after what happened last time. He offered to take that fear from me until we entered, and it seemed to work alright until I saw the archway."

The scene played out in my head again, my gut clenched, and I froze. I had thought that memory had been defanged, but apparently whatever Randy had done wasn't exactly universal. Trying to enter the arena had apparently brought back some of its strength. It was nowhere near as bad as the original experience, but I still felt my soul tremble.

Samuel's voice led me out of the horror. "Easy little brother, I heard something happened, but I had no idea it was that bad." He paused for a moment. "It's probably best if you hand Ivo to me. I will take him to his partner. Go to your room for the moment, I will come see you there. It seems we have some catching up to do."

The bear man released me, and I turned to hand the unconscious empath to him. My eyes widened and I took an involuntary step back. I should have noticed by how he was holding me, but it hadn't registered. He was looking much more ursine than usual, and he was bigger than my demihuman form in every way.

His very bearlike lips lifted in a facsimile of a smile. It was at that moment that I truly understood why people kept telling me not to do that. I knew full well that the guildmaster meant me no harm, but I also know that he remained over twice my level. I could not keep myself from lowering my eyes and holding Ivo out to him like an offering.

I heard the big man laugh. "I am sorry I surprised you little brother. One of my class abilities brings my spirit out. I'm afraid that it is not a thing that I am capable of turning off, it must run its course."

He took the unconscious man from my arms, and spoke once more. "I would like to find Pierce before my ability ends, the shift leaves me rather exhausted."

He left without waiting for a response, after which my shoulders slumped. It had already been an emotionally exhausting day, and I still had whatever death attuned target Belua had set for me.

I had a strong impulse to tell everyone who wanted me to do things to, just, wait a day. I had the strong desire to go back to laying in the grass and stare at the night sky.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I was getting real close to done with being obedient when people ordered me around. I trudged towards my room, ears pinned, tail lashing.

Samuel told me to go to my room and wait. It wasn't a command, but it was certainly a command. I realized that I hadn't told him what happened, I hadn't had the chance. It had been a busy couple days, and he was out chasing that creature. I am sure he was concerned for me.

It didn't matter if the man looked at me with a mix of reverence and protectiveness. It wasn't his fault that I'd had as much as I could take. I craved freedom, I would tell him as much when he came.

After I reached my room, I shifted to my true form, it felt like a terrible pressure was released. I didn't have much space to move around anymore, and I no longer truly fit on my bed, but there was something very comforting about being in my space.

I put a paw on the barrier between myself and Thorn. It hadn't been that many days since Thorn had been locked away, but I hoped they would come out soon. I wished I could ask Randy what was happening to them.

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Yawning wide, I let myself flop onto the floor. I breathed deeply, and sank into meditation. It hadn't escaped my notice that my emotions were flashing hot recently. It wasn't just fear, I was getting angry easier too. It didn't take a genius to realize that a certain new addition may have thrown me out of whack. I needed to see if I could figure out how bad things really were.

Focusing hard on Sense Concept, I aimed my senses at myself. In my mind I visualized what the ability was telling me. It was easy to find hungry , it was glowing brightly with energy. I expected that.

What I didn't expect was how it seemed to be touching some of the Concepts associated with my physical being. These Concepts seldom affected my mind directly, it seemed like the System had somehow managed to route those Concepts directly into influencing my instincts.

It looked like the troublesome newcomer was connected to several different ideas, it looked as though it was siphoning their power into itself.

Curious was the one it seemed to be currently draining. As suspicious as I had been about potentially being influenced, I hadn't considered that my very desire to learn about what was happening was the result of a Concept influencing my mind.

I mentally growled, it seemed I would never be truly free in this life. The idea nearly enraged me enough to knock me out of my meditation, but a new glow caught my attention.

Quickly identifying the Concept as wild, I groaned. There was my sudden unquenchable hunger to be free. I wanted to cry. I'd stood up to Belua, and gotten her to agree to stop messing with my mind. But that act itself was prompted by something that wasn't even me.

Maybe that was the wrong way to look at things. Everyone's body influenced their mind. The influence was usually more chemical in nature, but it was there. Perhaps I was lucky, I could see what my body was doing to me. I could try to plan around it. I could try to work with it.

I focused on wild. I could almost feel it trying to fight itself since I pointed out mentally that its influence was just another form of control. That probably was not a good thing. I wasn't sure what would happen if I lost one of the Concepts my body was originally built with, but I was almost entirely certain it wouldn't be good.

Luckily I had some practice redefining Concepts. I would happily allow wild to do such things as bring me joy in the outdoors, and less happily accept that sometimes it may make me feel uncomfortable in buildings. But even wild creatures understood hierarchy. I was not at the top of the pecking order.

I was drawn away to another sudden flare, dominant, that one was troubling. I had no idea how to redirect it. It was hard to even remember that I should want to. Combined with hungry like it was, it created a powerful desire to be at the top. I would tear apart anyone or anything that did not submit to me.

I felt kind try to activate, but it only flickered, allowing me to feel how wrong that idea was for a few seconds before its power waned. I hoped that Concept would recover quickly. If it didn't, I would figure out how to empower it again by eating cores. Of all the influences I was subjected to, that one was special because I chose it. The only thing I was absolutely certain of about myself was that I wanted to be kind.

I was pulled away from considering the one Concept that I actually liked by a thought that kindness was a luxury I could afford when I achieved dominance. It was when I pondered challenging Samuel that survivor came in to squash the insanity.

I would definitely not be challenging someone over twice my level, thank you very much. As soon as the absolutely unwanted desire for dominance had gone quiet, I reminded my core Concept that dominating others had a high probability of coming to bite you in the long run.

With that handled I found a few other larger Concepts that hungry was feeding off of. There was powerful, which I felt survivor's attachment to. I doubted I would find a way to mitigate that one, and I wasn't entirely sure it was even a good idea. I would be well served by becoming more powerful. I could even feel survivor pushing me towards the idea of empowering that one further.

It definitely sounded like a good idea. But I would wait until I got rid of hungry. Being hungry for power could be a trap. It also occurred to me that power hunger was probably not something that matched who I was inside very well.

I didn't feel a strong need to counteract any of the other, much smaller, ideas that the objectionable Concept had attached itself to.

Social was interesting, I hadn't expected that to exist in the swarm of cat associated ideas that made my form. But it was there, and I didn't hate it. It might even be helpful.

Solitary was much more expected, and absolutely also empowered and connected. No wonder I felt so conflicted about crowds.

Despite or maybe because of the conflict between the two, I was happy to see the second one. They could be used to cancel each other out now that I knew they existed.

I wanted to delve deeper, see if I could find more useful things attached to my body. But there were so many, and I heard a knocking coming from my door.

I was very glad I'd gotten things under some semblance of control. I thought I might do well to talk to Samuel about his penchant for giving me orders, instead of asking. But I understood that he was my guild leader, and he did have the right to do so. The rage that had been building in me in response to his command was more than a little overblown.

"Little brother, may I come in?"

I chuffed, and delicately put an oversized paw against the part of the door that held the lock. I knew from experience that the man did not even need the clicking of the lock in the door to invite himself in, but it was nice of him to ask.

The man forgot to close the door behind him when he saw me. I didn't blame him. I had grown uncomfortably large for human buildings, it would definitely be a problem in the near future if I didn't figure out a way to be fully comfortable while in a smaller form. I grinned as I looked down at him. I had no illusions about my chances against him in a fight, but he looked so small.

"Please close the door. I have a lot to tell you about."