“True rest is found not in avoiding effort, but in mastering it with ease.” — The Maker’s Code, Chapter 9, Line 44

Lazytown vanished above me.

One moment I was leaning against the lip of the well, in my full Level 10 glory, feeling pretty damn pleased with myself—and the next, I was plunging down into darkness.

Weirdly, though, my fall wasn’t sudden.

It was like being slowly pulled down into quicksand – weightless and suspended – while gravity teased me gently down with little tugs and pushes. All polite, like. Colours and sounds swirled in a kaleidoscopic pattern around me, each flash of light a reminder of something half-remembered, and yet also unfinished.

As I went down, down, down, the walls of the well constantly blurred in and out of view, like the shifting scenery of a dream. But, somehow, instead of waking, I kept tumbling deeper and deeper.

I was vanishing down a hole that stretched on endlessly.

For some reason, though, I felt oddly numb as it was happening. At no point did I lose my shit which - considering how I’d cried like a baby on the last rollercoaster I’d been on – was a bit of a surprise.

It was like I detached from myself as I drifted downwards. As if it wasn’t just my plunge that was peculiarly suspended, but my emotional response to it too. Nothing was really happening, but my mind still spun with all these fleeting images, half-memories, and sounds that faded as soon as I tried to focus on them.

Every now and then, I heard faint echoes—whispers, maybe laughter, though there was nothing clear or distinct. It was as if someone out there had dimmed the lights on my life, taken a break, and left me alone in an empty, echoing corridor.

I felt the absence of my Great Slacker mate pretty hard about then.

Then, for no obvious reason that I could tell, freefall returned. The comfortably numb feeling of suspended animation transformed into a dizzying drop and, let me tell you, I preferred the former.

That plunging, gut-wrenching fall tore the breath out of me, which was the only reason I wasn’t screaming my little head off. The darkness around me grew icy cold - but dense, like it was wrapping itself around my throat to suffocate me.

Wind whipped past my face, and all those brief flickers of light and sound vanished, leaving me alone in complete silence as I rocketed downwards.

Finally, with a thud that felt less like an impact and more like being anchored suddenly back in reality – look, go with me on that. You weren’t there. You don’t know - I struck solid ground.

Hard.

Like, Lia-not-holding-back-when-you-piss-her-off hard.

Like, a delivery-van-going-to-town-on-me-on-a-wet-Monday-morning hard.

Boneshakingly hard.

I lay there, pretty much convinced I must have died again. Every possible bone, muscle and patch of skin ached. I felt every inch of my body in a way I hadn’t before.

No notifications chimed in my vision, no list of passive Skills popping up to comfort me about how all that damage had been mitigated.

Just raw, tangible pain. And silence.

After a while, I opened my eyes. The faint glow of a jolly little blue light filled the space around me, illuminating the shape of the well around me and casting eerie shadows on the stone floor.

Then came the familiar ping of notifications.

Finally.

Although . . . hang on.

Instead of the usual rewards or passive boosts, it was a list—almost like an inventory, but different. I blinked, squinting as the notification expanded.

Notification: Skill & Ability Lock Activated.

Status: Idle Gains Disabled.

Status: Vicarious Competence Disabled.

Status: Lazy Aura Disabled.

Status: Borrowed Strength Disabled.

Status: Opportunistic Luck Disabled.

Status: Loot Leech Disabled.

The list went on and on.

I read through the list as the notifications continued, each one stripping away everything I had come to rely on in this world.

Fuck. Someone had really taken me feeling smug at hitting Level 10 personally hadn’t they!

It was as if the entire Freeloader Package had been uninstalled and I’d been taken back to my factory settings. Well, not totally. As I pulled up my stat screen I could see I still had access to all my actual attributes. And my inventory was still there – with the millions upon millions of useless items. And all my gold. So I wasn’t completely helpless.

Well, not quite.

I’d fallen down an improbably deep well and was cut off from anyone who could help me. But I still had plenty of cash. Awesome. I was sure whatever bullshit I was about to go through was going to be packed with opportunities for me to use my money to get out of jail free.

Reading on this site? This novel is published elsewhere. Support the author by seeking out the original.

Because that’s how this all worked right? Right?

I slowly got to my feet, wincing as my body ached in a way it hadn’t in a long time, and looked around.

To my right, the circular bottom of the well opened out to a narrow passage that stretched out through twisting stone walls. Flickering torches mounted along those walls gave the space an interesting glow, and I had any number of questions about their existence. I was down a well. Who the fuck was lighting torches down at the bottom of a well? And where was all the smoke going? And . . .

I’m disassociating, aren’t I?

I walked, gingerly, down the corridor until I reached a door barring its end. It was heavy and wooden, with a faint gold shimmer around it. Clearly some sort of magic entryway.

I took a step forward and rested my hand against it, and a faint chime rang out.

Welcome to the Well of Ascension Dungeon

At the same time, a list of rules appeared in my vision, each line glowing in pale blue, with a title at the top.

Dungeon Protocols – Well of Ascension

1. Abilities disabled – All abilities are inactive within the Dungeon.

2. Solo Effort Required – No assistance from allies or external skills is permitted. Tasks must be completed independently.

3. Evaluative Completion – Each section within the Dungeon will be judged upon successful completion. Points will be awarded based on proficiency, innovation, and adaptation.

4. Progression Locked – Dungeon completion required for class advancement.

5. Class Evolution Opportunity – Upon full completion, an option to evolve your current Class will become available. No other class options may be selected.

6. Divine Insight Enabled – Insight into the nature of the world and its inherent laws will be granted. Adapt to ascend.

This last point seemed to glow in a way the others didn’t have. Divine Insight, right? Not only was I having all my goodies disabled, but now I was being told that I was here to learn something.

As if this was a mandatory crash course run by The Maker themselves.

Fuck. The Maker.

This was one of their ‘patterns’, wasn’t it? My. This was going to suuuuuck.

The protocols faded away and were replaced by a pulsing green arrow leading towards the door. “Yeah,” I said. “I get it. You want me to go through the door. Am I allowed some questions first?”

I didn’t expect an answer, so was somewhat surprised by the deep voice, richer and more ancient than any system notification I’d heard so far, echoed through the hall.

> “To ascend is to understand. To understand is to shape. To shape is to Make.”

"Okay, so that doesn’t exactly sound we’re having dialogue. What’s going on? Is this some sort of pre-recorded motivational speech?”

> “Do not seek who; seek what. Know your world and the world becomes you.”

“Right. Sure. I’m all over that shit. Wax on and Wax off. Be the change you want to see. Do you want fries with that? There’s never been a bullshit meme slogan I didn’t like.”

With a somewhat jarring abruptness, another window opened in my notification

Dungeon Overview: The Realm of Forms

It was accompanied by that same voiceover - authoritative and vaguely pompous - explaining the place I now found myself in. It spoke as if outlining universal truths I was expected to memorise.

“The Well of Ascension is a place of enlightenment, a domain of cosmic laws and essential truths,” the voice began.“To master this Dungeon, you must understand the Realm of Forms. In this space, you will encounter representations of the primal ideas that shape existence. To conquer these manifestations is to draw closer to true mastery. To not just observe, but to make”

A notification pinged, as if summarising the voice’s chat into something more digestible.

Dungeon Insight:

> Objective: Explore and overcome manifestations of core ideas fundamental to existence.

> Hint: True understanding requires moving beyond mere observation. Test the limits of each concept to progress.

Fuck me. Am I so not the audience for this sort of thing. Was this what Balethor the Magnificent was looking to secure when we rocked up and ruined his plan? He had plenty of chat about breaching the barriers between the worlds. He was planning to run this Dungeon and ‘overcome manifestations of core ideas fundamental to existence’, wasn’t he?

Me? I was just looking for somewhere comfy to sit . . .

The window vanished, leaving me staring at the door again.

Somewhere, faintly, a ticking sound started up, like a clock counting down. Maybe time was limited, or maybe it was just to piss me off. I couldn’t find any actual timer in my notifications, so I was going with the latter.

The need to hurry. My literal kryptonite.

I pushed open the door, which swung back with a heavy creak, revealing a chamber beyond. Its walls were stark white, like blank pages, and in the middle sat an oversized hourglass suspended in the air, with sand flowing impossibly upward.

Ha. Someone was mixing their metaphors a little up here.

"You could have a ticking clock. Or you could have an hourglass. You can’t do both, dude."

Then the chime sounded again, and a notification blinked into view.

> First Challenge: Concept of Time

> Objective: Master the flow of time within this room. Escape within one cycle, or become part of the Well of Ascension indefinitely.

There was then a whole lot more. My screen was pretty much littered with phrases about “time loops,” “flow manipulation,” and “temporal awareness.”

“Again – whoever is listening - I’m really, really not the person you want for this. If you could just let me back up the Well, I’m sure I can find you someone else to run this. Scar, maybe. He strikes me he likes a good bit of ‘flow manipulation.’”

As if in answer, I got a whole new number of rules and regulations.

Dungeon Mechanics Explanation:

1. Primal Forms - Each section of the Dungeon represents a Primal Form or essential concept. Overcoming the challenge requires not brute strength but an understanding of the underlying idea.

2. Self-Testing Limits - Skills will be temporarily restored when tackling a Primal Form but only at base level. Talents like Stealth, Dodge, and Game Player may be selectively enabled for specific challenges.

3. Failure Consequences - Each challenge within the Dungeon is a one-attempt ordeal. Failure doesn’t lead to death but to entrapment within the Well, a sort of eternal loop or stasis.

4. Evolving Understanding - The more profound the understanding of each Form, the greater the rewards.

5. Exit Condition - Each completed Form edges you closer to a final “Evolving Choice” where a class shift is possible.

“Is no one listening to me? I don’t want to play!”

> System Notification: Prepared to start?

“No. I absolutely do not want to start. I am the opposite of wanting to start.” I heard my voice going up in pitch and tried to calm slightly. I am really not someone who is at his best when there are ‘failure’ conditions. “Look, no harm, no foul. Nothing’s started yet. I’ll just pop out and see if I can climb up the well myself . . .”

Then door closed behind me with a resounding click.

Oh, come on!