“When all effort leads to the same end, the only wise act is to minimise the steps. A short journey, however brief, is still a journey.” — *The Tao of Idleness, Book 7, Verse 22
The gates to Eldhaven were just coming ahead, which – all things considered - was a pretty solid promise of freedom. The countdown clock was getting to be pretty insistent about our approaching doom . . .
However, by the sheer number of city guards coming at us from every direction, decked out in full armour, and wielding weapons that looked as if they’d been forged in the heart of some unfairly difficult dungeon, I didn’t think this was going to be a walk in the park.
Lia slowed, her gaze flicking on the mass of guards bearing down on up, and turned to me, a glint of resignation in her eyes. “Go,” she said. “I’ve got a couple of abilities that will be able to hold the aggro for long enough for you to able to sneak out.”
“Fair enough,” Jorgen said, stepping forward.
“Not fair enough!” I reached out and grabbed him by the collar, dragging him back into position. This was what The Maker had scripted to happen, wasn’t it? Lia to do the whole hero self-sacrifice thing, and I was expected just to stand by and watch?
“Can we all just chill the beans for a moment!” I kept an eye on the closing guards. Despite all the obvious advantages they now had due to Lia’s Outlaw status, they still were looking pretty uncertain about things. “There’s got to be a different option for us here.”
Lia shrugged. “It was always going to turn out like this. Take my dad and get out when I grab their attention. I’ll buy you as much time as I can.”
“But why?” I said. “Why are you doing this for a man who has let you down so badly? Your dad doesn’t deserve this!”
“Hey!” Jorgen began to protest, and we both turned to glare at him. “Okay, fair point.”
Then, for a second, Lia just stared at me and then she smiled. “I’m not doing it for him. You seem to have a ‘knack’ for getting under my skin and, apparently, I’ve decided that’s worth something.”
Okay. So that was a bit of surprise. And, in other, less pressingly terrible, circumstances, I might have wanted to spend a bit of time thinking it over. Maybe doing a little victory dance or something like that.
However, right now, I was thinking about how The Maker clearly did not have me as part of its story and that, if that was true, Lia’s sacrifice was clearly not written as part of my own adventure. So, who the fuck was the self-sacrifice meant to inspire?
My eyes landed on the figure of Jorgen, looking to all the world like the last shiftiest bastard in the shop. Oh, hell no. I was absolutely not having Lia’s death being the catalyst for this sorry example of a human being’s redemption arc.
Fuck that idea. And the donkey it rode in on.
“Lia,” I said firmly, “I’m not going to let you do this. I don’t think The Maker really has your best interest at heart here, and I’m not leaving you here to go out like some tragic hero. That’s not my vibe. If you know anything about me, it’s that I do not do sacrifice scenes. There’s got to be an option that isn’t this.”
“I don’t know,” Jorgen said. “I kind of feel that, seeing my little girl sacrifice herself once again to save my life could be just the motivation I need to finally clean up my act. After witnessing her heroism, I reckon I’ll probably make going straight stick, maybe set up a little Forge in her name and start making Epic-tier weapons that the Empire can use to get the upper hand over the Rebellion. To be honest, it kind of feels that this moment – Lia holding off Eldhaven’s guards in a doomed last stand - is the sort of activating incident that is probably the key plot beat in the tale of my life . . .”
He probably had much more to say in that vane. Unfortunately, someone punched him in the mouth, which obviously took him by surprise. Even more so, that it was me.
Standing over his unconscious form, shaking out my hand, I sent up a prayer, but not to any Maker. “You hearing me, Slacker?”
At first there was nothing. No glimmer of an answer, no lazy chuckle in my mind, not even an ironic ping of an alert. I tried again, thinking maybe I hadn’t made it sound enough like I was in serious need.
“Look, I’m sure you’re listening because this kind of feels like the sort of reason why you brought me here, isn’t it? I’m supposed to be the fly in the ointment, aren’t I? The wild card in the heavily stacked deck. If you’re not going to have my back at this juncture, I have no idea what you’re actually expecting me to do!”
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My, my, my. You’re in a real bind, aren’t you?
“You think!” I said. “Little help, maybe?”
The Slacker sighed, the kind of resigned exhale you give when you’re being dragged out of bed before noon. This is really, really early for this sort of confrontation, mate. The whole plan was for you to level up to such a position that, when you did act, there wasn’t going to be all that many people who could stand against you. I’m not sure you want to shoot your load over a pretty face and a gigantic pair of tits.
“It’s not that! This is just . . . it’s wrong! The Maker never gave her any choice! All she’s been her whole life is a function for other people to get shit done. If you’re really all about freedom, this sort of thing should piss you off!”
You think it doesn’t? Don’t you think that this sort of tableaux playing out a million times a day across the whole fucking world doesn’t grind my gears? Why the fuck do you think that I – a Great Celestial Being whose whole thing is not getting shit done – has gone out of his way to get you here! You are me doing something about it! You’re my little agent of Freeloading chaos in The Maker’s world of order. You’re the one who needs to bring this all down!
I looked at the guards closing in – their eyes now exclusively focused on Lia as I presumed she had activated one of her tanking abilities. “Look, I don’t know about any of that. But I can tell you this for nothing, if you’re the sort of god that just lets people be murdered in order to make a point, then I’m not sure you’re much better than The Maker is. I’m absolutely here to help you fuck shit up, but you’ve got to throw me a bone here.”
There was another significant pause.
All right, but you need to understand that this sort of intervention is going to have a significant cost. I don’t make a habit of lifting fingers.
“Fine. Deal. Just please, do something.”
There was a long, drawn-out sigh, the sound of a cosmic being who’d rather be anywhere else. Okay. Brace yourself. For easy, I’m going to cause a temporary, colossal boost to your Lazy Aura. Just… don’t get used to it.
A ripple of power surged through me, more potent than anything I’d felt before. My body hummed with a strange energy, a presence that radiated out from me in thick, pulsing waves. I glanced down at my own hands—they were practically vibrating with this new force.
A notification appeared, bearing a new title that made my stomach clench and grin at the same time: Indomitable Aura of Neglect.
The effect was beyond instant. The guards nearest to us slowed, their robotic, inhuman determination melting away into a strange, vacant haze. Their faces went slack, their eyes dulling as all the adrenaline and intensity drained from their bodies. I watched as they exchanged confused glances, shoulders slumping, weapons clattering to the ground.
One of them blinked, then shrugged, mumbling something about taking an early lunch break. Another stared off into the distance, as though the entire concept of fighting just seemed unnecessary. In an absurdly satisfying display, one of them even yawned, setting down his shield to rest his hand on a nearby fence, completely uninterested in the situation before him.
“James . . . is this you?” Lia’s voice held a mix of awe, disbelief, and a dash of what I’d call genuine appreciation.
“Maybe.’” I said, “But I don’t think I can keep it up for long. Now would be a good time to make a run for it!”
Lia didn’t need any more encouragement. She scooped up the unconscious form of her father and led the way, bolting for the gate, racing past guards who couldn’t have been less interested in stopping us. I felt their glazed-over stares slide off us as if we were nothing more than a passing breeze..
We were just reaching a safe distance - and my heart rate finally began to slow - when a couple of notifications exploded across my vision.
XP Gains: +5000 XP for ‘Effortless Escape’
Level Up! New Level: 8
I let out a breath I didn’t even realise I’d been holding.
So this was what it felt like to pull off a legendary escape. Maybe it wasn’t traditional combat, but damn if it wasn’t effective. I couldn’t wipe the grin off my fac.
And then, beneath the thrill of XP gains and yet another new Level, I felt a small, nagging sense of unease.
Enjoy the boost, did you? The Slacker’s voice seeped back into my thoughts, quieter this time, almost . . . faded.
“Yeah, that was spot on, dude,” I said. “But you don’t sound great. What’s up?”
There was a faint chuckle, tinged with something I couldn’t place. Glad it helped. But that little stunt took more out of me than you’d think. He paused. I’m going to have to step back . . . take a break.
“What do you mean, ‘step back’? You’re not just… leaving, are you?”
Think of it as a power nap. His tone was light, but I wasn’t getting a wonderful feeling about how this was sounding. Turns out I might actually be one for grand gestures, after all!
Before I could even process what he was saying, his presence seemed to evaporate, and a tingling emptiness filled my head. At the same time, my inventory snapped open and ‘The Tao of Idleness’ began to look . . . worn.
Faded, somehow, as if something about it was draining away. And then, like dust caught in a gust of wind, it crumbled. Flakes of text, little bits of the cover, all turning to ash, sifting out of existence until the book was gone, replaced by nothing but empty space.
A hollow ache filled me. What had I done?
We kept running, putting as much distance as we could between us and Eldhaven, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d just done something irreplaceably stupid.