“When all things fall in place, look to who has played no part.” — The Maker's Code, Chapter 12, Line 8

A couple of pretty uneventful days passed.

The deadline for Wanker to return for his answer came and went without any sign of his arrival. I wasn’t sure whether this was a good sign or not.

Lia thought that – because Lazytown’s reputation with the Empire had tanked into the toilet – we’d automatically refused the ‘protection’ of the Emperor. That made sense, and I certainly wasn’t disappointed not to have to meet with the snide fucker again. I did worry, though, what all the radio silence might mean was being planned . . .

Scar and his band of Not-Quite-So-Unmerry-As-They-Had-Previously-Been-Lads-And-Lasses made good use of the opportunity to keep building up the village – with a focus on the defences in particular. He’d tried to give me back control of the Village Interface, but I wasn’t having any of it. The dude clearly had more of a handle on all of this than I did.

Of course, the fact that I’d managed to rope someone else in to do all the hard work whilst I still managed to make gains from all their efforts played a not-insignificant part in my decision-making there. I’d even picked up a new passive Skill – Vicarious Competence – which I’d already ranked up to Lvl 3.

Vicarious Competence (Lvl 3) - Great leaders inspire others to greatness. You, however, inspire others to do all the work while you bask in the benefits. Why mess with a good system?

Effect: Whenever a villager or ally completes a task (construction, defence, resource collection) you receive a 10% boost to Agility, Dexterity and Charisma for 15 minutes.

I kind of thought I was being got at a little with the flavour text there but, you know what, I’ll take it. It didn’t seem to me that whatever this system was had quite worked out how I ticked yet. Giving me gifts and then trying to make me feel guilty for accepting them was a trick Mum and Dad had taken pro years back. This mild passive-aggression wasn’t even touching the sides.

Mind you, I didn’t think I’d noticed any real tangible benefits of a 10% boost to my Charisma yet – Lia was remaining resolutely immune to my charms – but that didn’t mean I was willing to give up hope.

I think part of the problem here, though, was that my levelling continued to go through the roof. Indeed, I’d woken up this morning and found – along with my now expected shedload of notifications about gold, items and XP gains – myself having hit Level 10. Which caused all sorts of ructions.

“How! I mean . . . how! You don’t do anything!” Lia said in a tone, I must say, I found needlessly derisive.

“Now, hang on,” I said. “That’s not strictly true, is it? Why just last night I ensured that the blueprints for the Steam Cannon were approved. That’s not nothing, is it?”

“You just plugged a bunch of your ill-gotten gold into the Village Interface and said, ‘Papa needs a brand new gun!’ That’s not work!”

“Point of order. There’s nothing ‘ill-gotten’ about my gold. Just because it randomly appears in my pocket without me having to do anything to earn it isn’t my fault!” I paused, realising that this might not have been my strongest line of argument. “But, anyway, that’s not the point. I thought you’d be pleased that I was becoming less squishy!”

“Do you know how hard I had to work to reach Level 10!” Lia was almost baring her teeth at me. I felt a bunch of notifications chime as somewhere in the woods a task was completed. I felt like I’d need all the Charisma boost I could get right now . . .

“Look, Lia,” I said, trying to defuse things. “It’s different strokes for different folks, isn’t it? You levelled up with feats of bravery, courage and appalling violence. And I . . . I’m just a bit more chill.”

Have you ever seen someone defuse a bomb by surrounding it with dynamite, throwing a barrel of petrol over it and then telling the American government you’d found oil underneath it? Good times.

All work in Lazytown ground to a halt as Lia lost her shit with me.

This was a not-uncommon experience over the last few days, but this balling out still felt like she worked for it.

For my part, I stood there and took it. You see, I don’t think she was actually particularly pissed off with me right now. I think this most recent explosion probably had more to do with the whole ‘being cut from The Maker’s pattern’ thing. Oh, and Jorgen keep being seen hovering around the edge of the woods like a bad smell . . .

“Are you even listening to me?”

Yeah. I'm definitely not loving the tone. “I don’t know what you want from me here, Lia. I’m sorry my Class is irritating to you. It’s pretty irritating to me, too. However, the last time I checked, we were on the shit list for the only two major powers in this part of the world, and if we’re going to survive them making an issue of us, we need to get stronger. I’m funnelling all my gains into Lazytown to try to make that happen. It’s not like I’m hoarding the gold or wasting it all on a throw of a fucking roulette table . . .”

Ah.

On the plus side, being Level 10 meant I was able to take a punch to the face from the Dark Wren a helluva lot better than might have been expected.

In that, rather than being very dead, I came round an hour or so later, sharing a room with Dema in our spiffy Level 3 Medical Centre.

“Let me guess,” she said, once I sat up and looked around. “You pissed off someone about yay high with giant tits and a massive sword.”

I glared over at the Huntress, trying not to stare at her injuries. For whatever reason, whereas this building had helped Lia bounce back like a champ from her mauling at the hands of Balethor the Magnificent, Dema just wasn’t healing up anywhere near as well.

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Scar had said it was probably because of the level disparity between Berker and her and the fact that the blow really should have killed her. “Not everyone has it in them to be a legendary hero, Rogue,” he had said. “Dema is game, for sure, but when us small folk get mixed up in battles between the great and the good, we get hurt. And bad.” I didn't especially like the sound of that.

I waggled my jaw about to make sure all my teeth were still in place. “Yeah, I made a rather unwise joke about her dad.”

Dema raised an eyebrow – scar tissue pulling at the side of her face as she did so. “Well, aren’t you the daring conversationalist?”

“Yeah. Not one of my smartest moves.”

“No,” Dema said, and then glanced up. “Level 10, though? That’s cool.”

I still hadn’t figured out how to stop announcing my status to all and sundry. “Yeah,” I said, a touch self-consciously. “I’m blasting through it all a bit, aren’t I?”

“Look, there’s somethings in life a girl doesn’t want a guy to rush –” I might have choked a little at that – “but levelling is not one of them. More power to you, I say. Even if I don’t think any of us quite understand how you’re doing it.”

I looked at her for a moment, debating whether I wanted to tell her everything. It would be good to unburden my soul some – to have someone to discuss being a Freeloader with. Since The Great Slacker had gone quiet – yep, still running with that – I’d been feeling more than a little isolated. Lia’s reaction to my levelling was making me feel more than usually anxious about things.

Dema must have seen the look in my eyes, because she held up both her hands. “No, no, no. Don’t even think about it.”

“Think about what?”

“You’ve got a look on your face that says you're planning on pouring your heart out all over me. Well, no thanks. I am absolutely not your go to person for that sort of bollocks.”

“Hang on, why not? I thought you liked me?”

“Oh, honey. I like you just fine. I took a mace to the head for you, didn’t I? But I’m a big girl, and I’ve been around long enough to know when a guy is just looking for a distraction. Sure, I could let you tell me your secrets, but – and trust me on this – I’m not the one you really want to tell.” She smiled at me then. “I don’t have the rack for it.”

I didn’t really have a lot to say after that.

***

Lia was nowhere to be seen when I finally emerged from the Medical Hut.

Most of the other villagers studiously avoided eye-contact with me, which suggested everyone had had a good laugh at my latest impromptu good-night kip.

I made my way over to the Well of Ascension and sat down on its lip, flicking through my stat sheet to see what goodies reaching Level 10 had in store for me – other than the opportunity to be punched in the face, of course.

It seemed Level 10 was somewhat of an important milestone as I’d gained the largest number of Progress Points I’d seen in one go. So many that I even dropped a bunch into Endurance. In fact, I allocated most of the others around pretty liberally too. I had so many of them, right now, that there didn’t seem to be a lot of point in too much mini-maxing.

Scar had gone off at me when I said I’d put some in Intellect and Wisdom when I hit Level 9 – “You’re a Rogue, not a fucking Mage!” – but I’d wanted to see if a few more points there actually did anything to make me cleverer.

The pain in my jaw suggested the outcome of that may be uncertain at this stage . . .

Crossing the Level 10 threshold seemed to mean that all my Abilities had been upgraded to Rank 2 also – which was nice. In lieu of no new abilities appearing, I finally accepted ‘Freeloader’s Escape’ and was surprised to see that shoot up to the second Rank immediately.

All in all, I thought to myself, I was looking pretty fine in this lovely afternoon’s sun.

Name: James Brook

Level: 10 (3% Idle XP Gains)

Class: Freeloader

Health: 160

Mana: 0

Stamina: 65

Strength: 20

Agility: 26

Dexterity: 25

Constitution: 30

Endurance: 15

Intelligence: 20

Wisdom: 20

Charisma: 20

Luck: 20

Class Abilities:

Borrowed Strength (Rank 2): Your stats now fluctuate based on the power of allies nearby. The stronger your allies, the more you thrive—without lifting a finger, of course. Whenever you're within a close range of a stronger ally, gain a +15% increase to a randomly selected core stat (Strength, Agility, Dexterity, or Constitution) for as long as you remain near them.

Lazy Aura (Rank 2): Enemies within range are increasingly likely to lose interest in attacking if you do not engage. Additionally, enemies who become disinterested may leave Loot behind as they leave.

Loot Leech (Rank 2): Your knack for gathering without effort has improved. Now, resources from nearby activities and defeated enemies seem to flow your way as if by magic. Passively collect +20% more resources from the surroundings, with a chance to siphon a small portion of loot from allies’ activities without reducing their gains.

Passive Assistance (Rank 2): You have mastered the art of doing nothing, while everything happens around you. At this level, as well as reducing the cooldown for the Critical Hit buff to 30 minutes, your mere presence provides a slight boost to nearby allies' effectiveness.

Opportunistic Luck ( Rank 2): Your knack for unintentionally landing on your feet improves. You're now slightly better at blundering into good fortune without trying. Whether it's finding lost coins or dodging disaster, your luck just got a little sharper.

Lucky Bystander (Rank 2): Your sheer presence is oddly empowering for others, like a charm that enhances their abilities just by you being around. Allies seem to perform a bit better with you nearby, though no one can quite explain why.

Freeloader’s Escape (Rank 2): Somehow, you're always in the right place at the wrong time—or is it the other way around? Your uncanny knack for self-preservation has only sharpened, letting you slip out of harm's way even more frequently, with minimal effort on your part. Automatically dodge the first two attacks in any encounter. Cooldown: 3 minutes.

Skills:

Stealth (Lvl3)

Game Player (Lvl4)

Dodge (Lvl3)

Vicarious Competence (Lvl 3)

Unallocated points:

0

Which was obviously the exact perfect moment for me to lean back in a self-satisfied way – completely forgetting where I was sat – and fall down the fucking well.