The succubus at the main counter wasn’t happy that we were entering in her payment without knocking[1].We walked up to her. Except Cornelio, who had developed a penchant for crawling in pain.
I looked at the sultry demon in her purple eyes and spoke the most natural of questions: “Are you killable?”
“I am culeable, if that’s the question.”
“Matable,” I clarified.
“Oh, yes, very mate-able,” she said with a wink.
“Bitch if I had a gun I would make you my personal high school!”
She bit her lip with one of her sharp fangs. “Ohhh, I can’t wait for you to shoot kids in me.”
I fell to my knees and coughed blood.
“Walter, are you okay?” said a worried, back to the ground Mariana.
I used a belt to clear the blood from my lips. “My misogyny is failing me.”
Florencia stepped ahead, hands on her hips, and showed the teeth to the demon. “We want to enter the dungeon, sinful receptionist”
“Oh, but you cannot, not wearing that. Due to the unfair advantage straight females naturally have in a dungeon full of succubi, we only let them enter if the strongest female party member accepts to wear a cursed slutty maid outfit that reduces her stats to half.”
Florencia’s face went either communist or Chinese. Maybe both. She took a few steps back away from the desk and looked at us like Mariana did when witnessing some eldritch horror—for example, a leaf blower. “I’ll have to wear what?”
I started chuckling. Poor innocent Florencia, she hadn’t realized that , this time, fate had smiled upon her, if only because destiny loved fucking me over.
“Oh, Flor, don’t be shy, I am sure the skirt will be long enough to cover those toned thighs of yours.”
I looked in direction of Cornelio, who was nearly boiling of rage under the surface. I made him a gesture to remain silent, winked and then pointed subtly at Mariana. A defeated expression settled on his face, probably realizing I was just being annoying to Florencia instead of having ulterior motives. He gave me the signal to proceed by spinning his hand around.
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“My… my what?” Florencia had been mentally disarmed: The baby that inhabited her head stripped of her cross-shaped rattle. She began squealing out of embarrassment.
“Nice, I broke our tank.”
The succubus receptionist took out a magazine and began reading. I approached like pulled in by a force greater than me. “Twink catalog 2022” It read in letters that screamed latent homosexuality.
“Let me see.” I said in an imperative tone.
“Are you gay?” She asked,d efensively, judging me with the homophobia only a monster that feeds on the horny of the heterosexual and/or a dachshund can foster.
I extracted my badge that identified me as a horny connoisseur. I had spawned with it on my inventory, and never had the chance to use it until then. “Let me judge the quality of your twinks.”
With the fear of death on her face, the demon handed me the magazine. I began passing the pages and humming as I judged her taste. “It’s all wrong, all wrong. The bulge to pecs ratio, the shape of the noses, the amount of makeup, the gracefulness of their poses… These are low quality femboys, at best. Don’t make business with these gentlemen, they don’t provide a valuable or honest service. Of course, that’s unless you have shit-taste on twinks and derivatives.”
I threw the magazine back at the succubus face and the started sobbing in shame. My work was nearly concluded. “Sabrina!”
“What?” She said, still occupied polishing an inactive ball of metal, one of her new summons.
“How’s your daddy.”
Sabrina’s expression steered towards sadness and a single tear fell down her cheek. “You know very well, you cunt,” she blurted before going back to her task.
“Three out of fucking three.” I said, feeling my Misogyny stat regenerate to its previous levels. “Talk about efficiency.” I turned to the receptionist. “You, succubus, we accept the Maid outfit thing.”
“What? No!” Cried Florencia, running up to me and getting on her knees as she pulled from my shirt. “No, no, no, no.”
“Fine, I think the curse works on dogs.” said the succubus, and immediately, a white light enveloped Mariana. The light gradually turned to a lusty pink smoke and then, dispersed, revealing Maidrianna, if you will. The maid hat combined well with her ears, though. Mariana smelled the air, her eyes went wide, and began panting nervously. Then, she collapsed to the floor, making everyone on my party except me to gasp.
I went up to my dog and around her, positioning myself behind her epileptic legs as she suffered. I got my hand inside her fishnet stockings and released the tail from the hole in the fabric in which it had gotten stuck, allowing her to wag it again. Mariana stood without a problem and licked her nose.
“I feared I would die,” she said, now free to wag her tail again.
“How did you know? It looked like a stroke!” Cornelio commented.
“Mariana is my pet and I know that she dreads having her tail immobilized against her will.”
“You may now cross the drapes behind me, into a world of delight and pleasure. “The succubus said with a wink.
“Yeah, no, Cornelio will have to ward his thoughts from lust, but your silly naked women powers are far below my refined tastes. Hatred for women is my shield, a Golden Retriever dressed as a maid my sword. Let’s march onwards, companions, and rid this place of demons!” I said, walking side by side with my new maid, into the depths of the whorehouse.
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[1] This will make sense after the Spanish version of this story is released. Someday. Probably never.