Mariana wagged her blood soaked tail, giving the scene some masterful crimson strokes, and hopped around my amalgamation of undead underworld unmarried unvirgins. By the traumatized faces of the Half-elves and the appearance of the Redd… the pimp, I assumed Mariana had channeled the Rabid Dog Dao. Rest in peace, you wonderful mod.
“Walter is back.” Cornelio bewailed and, for a second, pointed his own bow against his temple. “No, I must be strong…. For sister.”
“Which of us was he referring to?” asked Florencia.
“I wouldn’t know.” I said, rolling my eyes, sitting inside my assetsroom. Yes, inside the zombie abomination I had a really… comfy… room. Pillow-like.
“The battle ended, come out of the mass of mutilated succubi,” Sabrina ordered.
“Make me.”
“Well, they were women. Do you want to smell like fema… How did you teleport by my side?”
“Funny teleport.” I dropped so casually, the giant girlipede made out of hellish strumpets collapsing as I strolled away.
“Walter, how did you kill the succubi while resisting their allure?” Cornelio said, eyebrow aloft.
“Once they called me the king of incels online. And they were wrong. I am the Emperor of volcels. “
“You had suitresses?” Sabrina asked. “Or…suitors…” she added a second later, her face contorting into a grimace of disgust. “People…wanted to …you? You?!”
“Two ostensible minors of undisclosed gender that I tried to reject politely but were too dense and kept buying my books, a gay grandpa from Samborombón, a fat chick from Texas that was very passionate about my banking data, and a hobo that catcalled me whenever I went by when I was a teen and sported long hair.”
“People of Earth seem so ready to see past looks,” Florencia said with a smile.
“ Flor, you have never intended to hurt me but, girl…” My HP dropped by 30% “Your words got that thicc DPS today.”
“I love him too!” Mariana introduced herself in the conversation like AIDS on a meth addict’s bloodstream. “Thanks to him, I remain befooded.”
“Fed.” I corrected Mariana. She began glowing with blinding ivory light. “Not that kind of fed.” The light died off and Mariana returned to her opaque state.
“Fine, I like glowing.”
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I applauded to signal the end of the chatter. “Well, lazy asses, we have work to do We need to redecorate this place if we are going to live here. If you need me, I will be in the super, buying… groceries.
“You want to talk with Vera, don’t you?” Florencia said, her eyes a thin line.
“Yes, you can come with me. Let your siblings do the heavy lifting together with Mariana.”
Sabrina and Cornelio stared into each other eyes and shook their heads energetically. “No, not alone with Mariana, nope.” They said in unison.
I sighed “Flor, if I give you a leash, could you take Mariana out for a walk?”
“And leave you alone with a succubus?”
I pointed at the bunch of torn, bleeding, and stapled-together-with-bones demon bodies behind me.
“But none is wearing an Argentinian shirt! I am not forsaking your soul.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Why would you care about me?” In touched florencia’s forehead. “It’s not fever.”
Suspecting it could be a pang of jealously, I went pale. Pulled my hand apart from the tarnished mount of hybrid genes. Stared at the +18 shaped columns of the place. “Demiurge, I know I am not a man of prayers, but, please, let me be wrong.” I mumbled a plea to the heavens.
The heavens sent me a dm. It was a screencap that froze my blood.
---- Walter <-> Florencia Relationship Status----
Florencia’s affection for Walter: 71 (Fantasizes with fixing him and… other things)
Walter’s affection for Florencia: 23.7 (Would let her die for him. Gladly. However, he would also attend the funeral and crack a mean joke.)
That sucked, but I couldn’t reveal to her that I knew, or otherwise I would lose the chance to manipulate and partymemberzone her the natural way.
I subdued the tick in my eye to not look deranged in front of my tank. “Well, answer? Why do you care about me?”
“It’s the job of a tank to look for other party members.”
“Well, forget the market, we will all clean this place, together.”
I reanimated the boss’ corpse making it stand with difficulty and pick up the bits that mariana had torn out of its flesh. “Being a necromancer, I will clean the place from bodies. Stash them inside a freezer or something. Sabrina, being an Engineer, you check the mechanisms, door hinges, and possible traps. Head mechacock inspector, in other words.”
“And what do I do?” Cornelio asked, raising an annoying hand under the annoying RGB lights that came out of the beast of a pc. the boss had been using.
“You wipe the floors and similar. I won’t reanimate every drop of blood.”
“And me? What do I do? Do I scort you as you get rid of the bodies” Asked Florencia. I grinned. It was time for my revenge. How dared she have feelings for me?
“Flor, you will do a task so very important. You are a strong and kind woman, and I would not entrust this task upon anybody else.” I heard Cornelio swallow and curse under his breath. I cleared my throat before continuing. Extended an open palm towards Mariana, Bane of Jannies, “give Mar a bath, will you.”
The fear of death took over Corneoliós and Sabrina’s face as Florencia nodded enthusiastically.
“Hey, that’s a suicide mission!” Protested many-eyes.
“Nah, Mariana wouldn’t hurt you guys.”
Then I made my cape of succubae skin flap under the yoke of my magic. Merely for dramatic effect, mind you. “Follow me, Jannie. I have something for you to do for free.”
What followed was a scene where I led the gigantic zombie away while chuckling, for I glanced in Florencia’s direction and she was struggling to subdue the beast.
“I shan’t be bathed! Waaaaaaaaaaaagh.” Mariana dramatized her best impression of a dragon, spitting fireballs, even.
But, just this once, it was not my problem.