Grrrrrrrrrrrrr makes me angry grrrrrrrrrrrrrr. Ah, sorry, I was remembering this to wraith it down! So this is when Walter got hit with a ball of metal band shirt material and left me alone! The pimp, who smelled bad, began laughing. He didn’t know Walter had gone away. I got sad. I lay on the middle of the boss room and started singing.
“San Goku mate sino tés eh, Pato mecha ya gasté toditas, zoo…” I began chanting an old song Walter used to listen to on his computer’s loudspeakers.
“What is going on, Mariana?” Sabrina asked, patting my back.
I cried the cries of a thousand cries.
She unpatted my back. I snarled. She patted my back again. I unsnarled.
I concrynued. Cornelio shot a ouchstick to the face of the smelly dude, making it recoil and growl. “Now, Flor, chair him down!”
Florencia rushed to the pimp and swung the bone chair over her head and into his, and then she got boinked in the tummy by the pimp’s hammer. “I hold the power of bans in my hand, virginal strumpet! How dare you express religious existence in my pristine atheistic domain!”
I missed Walter, he had not come and Sabrina was sending her ball full of blades and saws towards the pimp. My instincts made sure I fetched.
“Mariana, let my murdersphere go! No, don’t come here!” Sabrina said as I tried to get her the ball back. She ran away. Grrrr, she didn’t let me play fetch appropriately! “Go away, Mariana!”
Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.
“No! I must return this ball of yours!”
Cornelio shot another ouchstick and Florencia followed with a chair to the shin of the Pimp. His HP had fallen about 10%. I desisted in my task of returning the ball and spat it out against a funny column. It went cataplumplum.
“Mariana! Try to not demolish the place!” Florencia said as she parried a swing of the banhammer with the chair.
Walter wasn’t there. Why? Why had that smelly man taken Walter away from me? I went to the dude and bit his baggy shirt to draw his attention.
“Excuse me, sir. Where owner?” I asked.
“Ha! Blonde , upper middle class suburban family dog, your owner is about to suffer a terrible death in the hands of my army of girls. The Dimension of Unbearable Pleasure is a place no heterosexual or bisexual man can survive! Even women fall down to it now and then. And… why are you wearing the maid outfit?”
“I am yellow,” I lamented. Then I remembered that I was supposed to be angry with people who harm Walter. Without Walter, who would cook for me? Who would take me out for walkies? For harm to come Walter’s way was unacceptable. “Bring him back!”
“I am afraid that’s impossible,” he said and patted myself on the back with a punch.
“Empollible?” I licked my lips. Chicken.
“He cannot come back, and stop asking or I will silence you for a month.”
I showed my teeth. A feeling unbecoming of me took over. It was as if the whole man was made of chicken.
“Dear Lord in Heaven, Mariana! Stop!”
“Did she just tore the nose from the face?” exclaimed Sabrina.
I just kept on biting on eating as the pimp caressed me softly with the hammer and screamed with joy.
“You hurt Walter!” I informed him softly. “You hurt Walter and now he isn’t here!”
“Mercy! Mercy!” he called out the name of Walter’s favorite Overwatch Character.
Space and time tore up and a tentacle made out of female hands come out. “He for whom you cried has arrived.” Walter’s voice came out of the portal as an amalgam of Succubi parts shaped like a woman began to crawl out.
“Walter!” I said, letting the pimp go and jumping happily around the wound in time and space. “Walter, you are back!”
“Mariana you are covered in blood.” Florencia commented, but I didn’t care, because Walter was back! Hurray!