Chapter 97: Assassinations
[Edited by: deathbricks, Arthur300000, Bunny , and ArchmageNaoki]
“It’s tomato sauce… right?” Kael knew the truth immediately as soon as he sniffed my panties.
Well, it was half my fault since I shoved the soaking red panties too close to his face. But the resourcefulness of this pervert scared me.
Lesson learned: In this world there are no secrets that stay secret, no matter how well you cover it up with panties.
Anyways, after ten minutes of listening to his lecture about honesty, we arrived at our dorm.
“Remember, lying to your own bodyguard is the stupidest thing to do.” Kael concluded his lecture as he sent me through the gate.
“Eh? You’re not coming in?” I asked as I noticed he turned back to his car.
“I need to bring my car to the dry cleaning shop before the stain becomes permanent.” I wondered which dry cleaning shop was still open at this hour. Maybe it’s one of his girlfriend’s houses, but I was too tired to care. I nodded and followed Cocoa back to my room.
“Kuro, it’s a big box!” Cocoa exclaimed and swung her tails twice. She knew that I ordered Skynet’s legs- *ahem* cybernetic body. So, she excitedly helped me bring the box into the living room.
““Whoa!”” We both exclaimed as we opened the box. The cybernetic body inside looked so futuristic. Maybe it was because they were trying to save on cost of transportation fee, but the body came in separate parts so we could see all of the circuitry inside.
“It seems we have to assemble her ourselves.” I told Cocoa as I fished out the instruction book from the box.
We quickly cleared the room to make some space for Skynet’s body assembly. Then we arranged all the parts on the floor and checked that there were no missing parts.
“Attach all parts labeled with ‘A’ from the head down with the telekinesis screwdriver. Ensure that each joint is tightly fit before using the screwdriver.” I read the instruction out loud.
“Roger!” Cocoa attached the parts together and I used the screwdriver to tighten things up. The telekinesis screwdriver that came with the box was fun to use. It was just point at the joint and click the button, then all the screws were spun. There are only two buttons, ‘in’ and ‘out’, so even a monkey could use it, provided that the monkey had enough Magicka to supply the screwdriver.
[Mistress, please stop doing that. It’s embarrassing.] Skynet complained as I groped her new body’s boobs while Cocoa was still busy connecting the back parts.
[I’m checking for any defects.] I gave her a sound argument and continued groping. The naked cybernetic body was made of some kind of translucent rubber. It was firm but soft, especially her rear and boobs, they were pleasantly soft.
Skynet also pointed out our assembly mistakes from time to time. While we enjoyed assembling our first cybernetic body, Barbara and Ms. Fluffy, the flying snow leopard, came back from her extra course.
“Yeeeeet! It’s the terminator.” She exclaimed as she saw the half finished body... If this was the actual terminator, I couldn’t understand why she would be jumping up and down in glee. Anyways, Barbara quickly understood the process and was a big help. Ms. Fluffy also helped us by playing with all the small parts. Sometimes they went under the furniture, but thankfully Skynet was keeping track of all the pieces.
Well, Skynet did suggest to put Ms. Fluffy to sleep while she did that, but I forbid it. Then, she nagged me to clean all the parts before connecting instead… The manual didn’t say anything about cat fur disrupting the cybernetic body’s functions, so Skynet was the one who was overreacting, right?
“Ok! The power core is plugged in. All that’s left is covering her body with the artificial skin fluid.” Barbara exclaimed as I picked up the last part, an aluminum canister. Then I opened the lid. There was black gloop inside. I wondered whether that was the right liquid or not, but since it was the only liquid canister inside the box, I doubt that we would be wrong.
The consistency of the artificial skin was kind of gross, it was very viscous, and difficult to pour. So, it took a lot of forceful shakes to coax it out of the canister. While Skynet opted to erect an invisible barrier to prevent Ms. Fluffy from getting too close, the black liquid began to spread all over the cybernetic body like it had a mind of its own. Then its color turned creamy and solidified.
Her hair also magically grew and the faint pink of her lips and all other cute spots appeared like an invisible person began painting on her.
“Mistress, you should transfer me to the body.” Skynet reminded me while I still stared at her new beautiful body. Investing half of my credits in her was totally worth it.
“Right, right!” I plugged the wireless data transfer device into the back of the cybernetic body’s head and clicked the start button.
Stolen novel; please report.
“Alert! Security breach! Unplug immediately!” The loud voice of Skynet came with a loud warning. I was stunned for a fraction of a second but as I tried to reach for the connection cable, the cybernetic body’s hands reached for my neck with lightning fast speed.
[Skynet!] I worried about her, but my arms were a lot shorter than the cybernetic body. I tried to get away but I was lifted by the neck and was slammed against the wall.
“Kuro, help, me!” The cybernetic body’s lips parted, and there were tears in its eyes. However, the hand around my neck was ruthlessly tightening. Did I grope her too much and cause her body to malfunction!?
“Let Kuro go!” Barbara screamed, and a flash of light appeared in the left field of my vision. Then, a fireball the size of a bowling ball collided with the cybernetic body’s head, producing a loud clang, and burning half of its facial skin off.
NOOOO! I wanted to scream. It was half of my money after all. But there was no sound coming out from me. The hands around my neck had become too tight and I couldn’t breathe.
Soon afterward, the smoke from the half burned face began to cover my face. It stank of burning plastic. I tried to turn my face away and saw Cocoa trying to take something out from her storage device... The SnuSnu should be able to lob these arms off, but she would need several seconds to take it out, and with that delay, I doubted that my neck would hold.
“Warning! Reactor overload in ten seconds!” Skynet announced some very bad news. But the sound came from the computation device plushie… Wait, did the cybernetic body call me Kuro? Skynet doesn’t call me that. It must be some kind of virus imposter or something.
I gritted my teeth and decided to destroy the super expensive cybernetic body to save my life.
It took few attempts to crush its elbow joints. Then I quickly reached my arm out to pull the plug, but as the tip of my fingers grabbed the cord, the half-burned cybernetic body entangled me with its beautiful legs.
“Eight seconds remaining!” Skynet warned while her body and mine was in a leg lock position. It was like a dream come true if half of her head wasn’t burning and her reactor wasn’t threatening to explode.
“Run!” I choked and yelled at Barbara and Cocoa. But the girls were too slow. They were still frozen in place for a whole second before Cocoa began to move her left leg and Barbara grabbed Ms. Fluffy.
In desperation, I could only think of three plans for us to survive:
1. Disarm the reactor
2. Throw the body off the building
3. Run away with Barbara and Cocoa.
I quickly discard the first choice. The only thing I knew about the reactor was that it generated power. I didn’t know whether or not I crushed it would cause a premature explosion. Oh wait, I think it would. I remembered when I hit the cybernetic bandit inside Blackforest in its reactor and lost my first sword in the process.
The second choice was also tempting, but if I accidentally threw it towards a populated area and killed someone in the process, wouldn’t I be charged with murder?
“Six seconds remaining!” Argh! I decided to do what I never thought that I would do in my life; destroy the beautiful legs. Maybe it was because of my reluctance, but it took me five attempts to crush its knees and hips. Then I threw the body at the furthest end corner of my room, grabbed Skynet, and ran.
“Four seconds remain!” I held Skynet’s plushie backpack at its ear with my mouth and caught up with Barbara and Cocoa in the hallway.
Then I put my arms around Cocoa and Barbara’s hips and ran with them under my arms. At this moment, I could also use slow time shout or whirlwind sprint to run faster, but the remaining three seconds was enough time for me to bring them to a safe distance, so there was no point in exposing myself now.
As the time ran out, we were already in front of the door. And boom! A fiery explosion went through the roof and destroyed both our room and Kael’s in the process…
“Ah, the explosion was bigger than I thought.” I said while watching the midnight giant bonfire. Luckily, the corner that I threw the body at was next to the Kael’s room, so other people’s rooms were left intact.
“Eh? Kuro has seen an explosion like this before?” Barbara asked. Strangely she seemed happy and smiled from ear to ear… Shouldn’t she feel shocked, angry, or sad?
“Ye-yeah it was when I adventured in Blackforest.” I told her while she tried to protect me from the falling snow outside by hugging me.
“Eh he he, Kuro is warm and soft.” She giggled… Ah, my niece is hopeless.
Skynet seemed to be more silent than usual, but when I asked about her condition, she said that she was alright but still needed some time to recover from the cyber-attack.
The only one who was upset here was Cocoa, she yelled at the bonfire with something like- “My expensive shampoo!” Well, that shampoo seemed to be the only casualty tonight since I could get a refund for the cybernetic body within seven days. Damn, I’m also addicted to her shampoo. Well, I couldn’t steal what was already burned. Oh, I got an idea.
“You can put your shampoo cost into the household budget.” I told Cocoa. This way, I could steal her shampoo with peace of mind.
“Really?” She looked at me with sparkling eyes.
“Of course, it’s a bonus for the job hazard-” I couldn’t finish the sentence as Cocoa jumped at me.
“Kuro is so warm.” Cocoa sighed… Oi! Don’t copy my niece’s bad behaviour!
As the girls were surviving on the street by leeching off my body heat and people began to come out as they noticed the disaster, the fire extinguished by itself due to the large amount of snow that had accumulated on top of the roof, melting and sliding down to cover it in one big thud. People murmured about what happened and some of them guessed right; that it might’ve been caused by a reactor explosion.
While I wondered if there were a lot of these kinds of accidents happening around here for them to guess that, Kael came back with his car and made a quick break with a loud tire screech.
“My room!” He yelled before opening his car’s door. “I left for a few seconds and my room is destroyed? What the hell is going on!?”... He was too quick to accuse me. What had I done to him to cause this much distrust?
“It was another assassination attempt.” I shrugged. Well, maybe it was my fault, but let's put the blame on the unknown bad guys. This strategy worked perfectly. It stopped Kael’s complaining in its tracks. Maybe I should have blamed those bad guys when I dropped the hotdog sauce on Kael’s seat instead.
He also made me explain what had happened in detail, and Kael also made a few calls to investigate. Soon after he discovered that the delivery girl who delivered the cybernetic body’s box in front of my room was lying face down in a deserted ditch, totally dead. And that was where the trail went cold.
“Ah, it wasn’t my fault after all.” I felt relieved after I knew the full story, but when I noticed Kael looking at me with a rift between his eyebrows that could squeeze a fly to death, I looked away while I wished that everything that was burned was insured.