Chapter 79: Sophistication
[Edited by: Bunny, ArchmageNaoki, Arthur300000,deathbricks]
From: Nyatalee Skywhisker <[email protected]>
Subject: Your next job, Nya!
Date: 94754.8 4:24 PM
To: Kuro Velvori <[email protected]>
Dear Ms. Kuro Velvori,
How are you, nya? It’s me your super cute manager, Nyatalee! I want to tell you that this Saturday, we will be shooting with a show called “The Wild Survival.” It’s a game show about how to survive without magic. So, you might want to plan ahead of time on how to live without magic.
Best regards,
Nyatalee Skywhisker
This email was the reason that I’ve been so busy for the past three days. Since I was a citizen of Earth, I think I could survive without magic just fine. But to be on the safe side, I spent all three days crafting my not quite so primitive weapons in preparation for that game show. They were made of mithril, and I poured a lot of my Magicka into them in the crafting process, but I didn’t enchant it, so it shouldn’t be against the rules. I hope.
I also tried my hand at adamantium but I failed to sharpen it. That alloy was too hard to handle, all I got from my first attempt with it was a long, bent bar. Maybe I could craft a piece of armor from it, but because of the density of the metal it would be a very heavy suit, capable of crushing its wearer with its own weight.
So, I ended up using mithril again. It was a troublesome metal to handle, but it was the best material I had. It took two and a half days to finish my main weapon; a giant scythe. The hardest part of making it was to make it big enough for my power armor to use it in the future and light enough for me to swing it this Saturday without me spinning uncontrollably due to its centrifugal force.
It would be a lot faster if I made standard Skyrim equipment, but I wanted to practice shaping up metal the way I wanted. So, I decided to create a grim reaper style scythe. Cocoa also helped me a lot with planning and designing. With her help, the blade part finished without a hitch.
However, the problem turned out to be the handle part instead. We made a mistake by making the handle with a rod of mithril at first, as it turned out to be too heavy at the length I needed it at. So, I had to recycle the semi-finished handle into a short sword, a dagger, and a set of kitchen knives. Then I used the last three mithril ingots to make a thin steel plate and rolled it into a pole. It was a bit of gamble though, we were afraid that making it this way might make it too fragile, but after we tried it out for a while we found no problem with it.
Cocoa and I had fun trying out the finished products several times. She praised them non-stop. She said that the scythe was the masterpiece and ran around while swinging it like a tiny grim reaper. Well, she did end up stumbling and damaged our house fence in the process. Luckily, no one was hurt, so mom and dad didn’t scold us. Nevertheless, they still lectured us to be very careful when handling a sharp objects.
I also made their sheaths for transportation. Since life without magic also meant I couldn’t use my storage device, so I had to make cool cases to store them in.
Barbara also joined our conversation from time to time, and her ideas seemed to be more stylish than ours. Cocoa and I were a bit embarrassed when we compared the sheath designs together. Barbara’s art was like a professional artist, while our drawings were like the scribbles of a kindergartener.
With unanimous agreement, Barbara’s design was used. And it turned out very cool. We spent quite a long time just looking at the finished product and smiled like someone appreciating incomprehensible art like the Mona Lisa.
Not everything I made was perfect though. The set of kitchen knives that I gave to my mom were a failure. She thanked me at first but came back a moment later and asked me to make those knives less sharp. She said that she couldn’t use them because they just cut through her chopping board and damaged the counter.
I tried to make them less sharp as she asked for, but after the edge tempering process, it was impossible for me to do that in a short amount of time. In the end, I converted the failed adamantium bar project into a chopping board for her instead, but she rejected it as it was too heavy and the several dents along with its slippery surface made it very dangerous to use when combined with my set of kitchen knives.
A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.
She also complained something about being unable to debone any meat or fish with the boning knife since bones were easily cut along with the meat. A lesson learned; a knife too sharp isn’t always good, and a chopping board needs to be light, flat, and smooth. So, I put my self-made kitchenware away and considered them all as a failure.
Barbara also adapted quickly to her new life. For some reason, she didn’t get an instant admittance to a school like me, so she had to pick a school and take an entrance exam herself.
She took a serious look at several school’s websites and bought a book about them to study, however, a few hours later she ran out of the house, and after a while, she came back to told me with a happy face that she had somehow become the gang leader of those rude kids in the neighborhood and dragged me out to play with them.
Seeing her play around too much these days, I was so worried that she might become a delinquent when she grew up, so I invited her to look around at the adventurer school on Friday as I was going to take a final exam to become a full-fledged adventurer. However, when I showed her my school website, I noticed a shocking truth written on the web, the test that I had to pass on Friday was a written exam about rules and manners of an adventurer…
So, I had no choice but to do a boring midnight cramming session a day before the test. However, as I read the book about it, I realized that something was off.
It is the spell caster's responsibility to shout the traditional word of warning "Fore" when a spell flies towards or near other adventurers or peoples. When you hear someone else shouting "Fore" cover your head and duck!
That was an paragraph excerpted from the material I needed to study. In my honest opinion, it was full of rubbish. If I realized that a stray spell was flying at me, I would just slap it away with my battle glove or dodge it. Cover my head and duck? That would make me an easy target for monsters or enemies to shoot something nasty at.
There was also a nonsensical classification of a type of adventurer as following in the book.
Adventurer’s position
When adventurers from combat class graduate, they will have their grade and position in their ID card to show to other fellow adventurers for further cooperation.
Since it is a solid proof of your performance, it would be a good manner to show that information to other parties when forming up the team.
The basic positions are as following:
Defender: This position describes the adventurer who’s skilled in close combat. They are the front line of defense to protect their teammates from harm.
Scout: This position is reserved for those who excel in stealth and trap detection. Their job is to warn the team of danger.
Sniper: Those who get this position are proven to be capable of shooting long distance targets with accuracy. They are handy in many circumstances.
Spellcaster: As its name implies this position describes an adventurer who’s proficient in spell casting. They are the bread and butter of the team-
There were several more roles listed there, but most of them were rubbish. I saw a lot of people who’s good at more than one role. When I read the description of the stupidest position called 'deep infiltration', which basically was a job for Leeroy Jenkins, I couldn’t put up with the book anymore. So, I decided to call it a night and took out an erotic manga from under my pillow for a ‘light’ reading before sleep.
That suggestion from that magazine turned out to be the real deal. Surprisingly, I actually dreamt about the book I slept on. Well, it didn't work every day, but at least about every two days, I got to dream about the content of the book that I put under my pillow. I tried to think of the reason behind this, but I couldn’t come up with one. It might be something about this world’s magic, I think.
Anyways, the book I used right now was a story about erotic activities between three futanari girls. So, no matter who I had become in my dream, it would be always fun. I grinned at my genius solution and opened the book to read, however, a sheet of paper fell from it. Huh? Was it a receipt? No, I believe I threw it away when I received the package. I curiously opened it up and read.
Isn’t a girl with a wee wee actually a boy?
No, mom, because her heart was a girl, she is a girl no matter what she had.
And who are you, miss thick ink? Kuro didn’t come back yet, are you Pristia or Cocoa?
I’m nobody in particular. Anyways, Kuro, why did you put this book here? Is there hidden meaning behind it? I know that talking about this would be awkward, so you could write your reply here.
Have you done your chores yet? Ms. Nobody in Particular? Okay, since this topic was already started. I saw something disagreeable inside this book. On page five, there is no way a sane person would smile like that when something like that was done to her. It would be excruciatingly painful. Also, on page nine there is no way that hole would connect to his/her mouth. No matter how much that was pumped in, it wouldn’t come out from her mouth. And on page twelve-
… Oh my gosh. I flopped face first on my pillow in embarrassment. Damn, I shouldn’t have left it under my pillow. Anyway, I gritted my teeth and wrote my reply in big letters: “Cute is justice! And stay away from my research material!!!” Then I went to sleep.